Not the Eyes
Summary: Sunlight can make anything look like it's on fire.
A/N: Know that I'm not a Sirius/Lily shipper. But this idea just fell into my head I simply had to write it down.
He felt like punching his fist through a wall or maybe turning right back around to revive the bastard and beat him to a pulp, again. Sirius Black wiped the sweat from his brow and glanced down astonished to see his own crimson blood smeared across his arm.
He just wanted to get away. He wanted a place where he wouldn't have to think anymore. He wanted a place where he didn't have to worry about the bastard he used to call brother. And it better not, this place, let him think about his blood mania parents or his dead Uncle Alphard, the only person in his family who ever understood him.
He wanted a place where he wouldn't have to think of the whispers of war brewing outside Hogwarts secure walls. He wanted a place where he could truly, without restraint, be himself.
He wanted a place where he wouldn't have to worry about the growing suspicion against peter or his long harbored guilt against Remus. Not a day could go by when Sirius didn't think of his betrayal. He wanted a place where James wouldn't be so concerned, a place where James wouldn't question him endlessly about his black eye. And when he finally got his answer, he didn't want James to go and find Regulus, and beat the living shit out of him.
What he really wanted was for James not to care so much, because he sure as hell didn't deserve it. Sirius looked up at a sudden noise, something like a groaning or wailing, almost not quite, to his left. Of course he thought a slight smile playing on his lips as the door appearing in front of him became completely solid; The Room of Requirement.
Sirius grabbed hold of the grand handle of the immensely tall and heavy doors and heaved it open. He then upon entering the room shut the door behind him and turned to watch it shrink into nothingness before his eyes.
Sirius then twisted around glancing around the room with a smile. It was high ceilinged with moving figures painted on the vaults, yet so high that Sirius could not make them out. Along with the high ceiling were tall windows that stopped just short of the ceiling coming to a peak. Sunlight streamed through the multiple panes and cast the room a glow.
The whole room seemed to give off a sigh of contentment. Sirius tense shoulders relaxed and drooped at his sides, something tranquil was in the air.
Sirius buried his shoes in the plush cream coloured carpet and looked around. There was a roaring fire place with plump chairs stationed all around it and a table with a chess board on it. All the pieces stationed to play, with comfortable looking chairs pulled up around it.
There were banners with the Great Gryffindor Lion across the walls, with a deep scarlet base and gold outline. On the left wall were rows upon rows of bookcases, this caused Sirius' nose to wrinkle up. Why the hell were there book shelves in there? The whole point was to stop him from over thinking his messed up life.
Though he did suppose reading would get his mind off things. And it smelt like Vanilla, odd. Sirius walked over to a scarlet armchair next to one of the Tall windows and plopped down in it, sinking into its comfort and taking in the view.
The snow on the grounds had yet to begin to melt but Sirius reckoned it wouldn't be too long. It was the beginning of March after all. The great lake gamed, still ice covered. Sirius wondered idly if the mer-people or giant squid got cold.
He would hate that, he decided, being trapped under ice, unable to be free. Then again, he reckoned they couldn't very well leave the lake even if no ice was covering it. But it was still the idea that you couldn't get out, not even if you tried.
That was how he had felt once, Sirius remembered. He had seen no escape from his parents. He had been trapped. But last year he had done it, he had jumped out of his lake. Maybe that's why sometimes he felt like he gasping for oxygen.
He started at the lake playing with his hair, it was odd, Remus had instead vehemently that Sirius needed a haircut and had forced him down to the barber's shop in Hogsmeade. It wasn't shoulder length anymore but to his chin.
On the way back to the castle Sirius complained loudly and Remus swore Sirius had almost cried as his beloved hair fell to the ground. Sirius protested and James laughed, with a handful of Zonkos (Sirius hadn't had enough time to go to Zonkos) exploding turtles. He told Sirius that he shouldn't be such a pansy. Sirius objected disgruntled and to further prove his manliness asked Rose Hue, a gorgeous Ravenclaw, to Hogsmeade the night after next. When she'd said yes and inquired how exactly they'd be getting there seeing as the next Hogsmeade visit wasn't scheduled for another two months. Sirus had wiggled his eyebrows telling her he had his ways.
After she'd pranced away giggling with her mates James rudely pointed out that just because Sirius was player that it didn't not make him broad-like.
Sirius had stalked off muttering to himself about disloyal mates. That was when he stumbled upon Regulus. It was essentially how he ended up here.
Sirius watched as a sleek black owl, he suspected was James own Hermes, swooped past the tall window. What Sirius never would admit to the lot of them was he really did love his hair; maybe not as much as he loved women but pretty damned close.
It was then that Sirius heard a cough. He stood up quickly, whipping around searching for the source of the noise. Sirius crept along the bookshelves, looking up knowing that the cough had most certainly not come from the ceiling.
He carefully tiptoed along, not wanting to make a sound as he peeked around each square corner of the shelves breathing sighs of relief as each was progressively empty. Sirius was nearing the final few bookshelves now; perhaps he had just imagined it. That was what Sirius thought, of course until he heard it yet again. Louder this time, over just the next bookshelf. Sirius pulled his wand from his black pocket. He kept his wand there despite McGonagall always scolding him about snapping it in half or something like that, Sirius really didn't care.
He crept forward and perhaps rather foolishly leapt into the open holding his wand to the person with the cough. "Holy shit, Black! What the hell…put that damned thing away." Lily Evans barked brandishing her own wand.
"Oh, yeah, well, Right…" Sirius stuttered stuffing his wand in his back pocket.
"You really shouldn't do that Black; I assume you're fond of your wand?" Evans said whipping her hair over her shoulder and stowing her own wand back in her robes.
"Err, sure. Evans your hair…" it was her whipping her hair over her shoulder that did it. That brought his damn attention to her hair. God it looked like fire, something magnificent. It seemed to flame around her pale heart shaped face as the sunlight poured through it. Sirius could finally see it, what James was raving on about all these years. Damn, how had he not noticed this before?
Maybe it was the thought that she was a pompous prat, who couldn't seem to take a joke as a child and always had a stick up her ass whenever the Marauders were around. He had seen her; she wasn't like that around anybody else but them four.
He had always known she was pretty, Merlin she was gorgeous. But he'd always though she was too much of a damn priss to be worth it. Sirius hadn't failed to share his opinion on this matter with James; several times he had actually more than once.
Blimey, now he knew what James was going on about. But what did James mean about her eyes, no surely not, it was her hair. Like smooth fire it was cascading down her back, curling around her face. Definitely not her eyes, prongs was bloody mental.
"Are you listening Black?" Evans said sharply effectively ending Sirius' train of thought.
"Hmm?" he mumbled. "What was that?"
Lily sighed rolling her eyes but with an amused expression on her face, "I was saying, not another fiery tempered Red-head joke or I swear on Merlin's saggy left…"
"Language Evans," Sirius cautioned still a bit dazed.
"Eye socket," Lily finished as though she hadn't heard him, not bothering to hide her grin. "I will personally hand them over to the Giant squid."
"Best make it James then, I've heard he's had an on again off again relationship with her highness the Giant Squid for quite some time now. They argue often, rumor has it, but are passionately in love just the same."
Lily snorted, and then coughed. "Have a cold?" Sirius asked.
"Its marginal," she answered. Bending down and plucking up, presumably, her book from an armchair and dog earring her page. She then placed it back on the shelf. Sirius smiled, he knew Madam Pince would shoot her twelve times over if she caught wind that she'd folded the page of a book. "Do you expect to come back here and read it?" Sirius asked curiously, he didn't know Evans knew about the come and go room.
Lily simply shrugged; as she did so some hair fell into her face. Damn it, Sirius thought as she tucked it behind her ear. "Just in case," she answered nonchalantly.
"Speaking of which," Sirius said trying to avoid looking at her hair, and failing, dismally. "What brings you here?"
"I could ask you the same," Lily retorted, crossing her arms defensively.
"I had to get away."
Lily looked surprised that he had answered truthfully; she hadn't been expecting it he knew. "Me too," she breathed.
God, he really wished she wouldn't do that it made her hair rustle. "Why'd you have to get away?" Lily asked when Sirius didn't say anything.
"Care to sit down," Sirius asked gesturing towards the armchairs around the fire, anything to get her hair out of the light.
Lily complied and Sirius let her go ahead, leading them towards the chairs. Stupid thing to do, he could see her hair playing with the sunlight as she walked.
"So how about you?" Sirius asked as soon as they both had retired to an armchair. It was better now that they were out of the sunlight, her hair didn't glow but he still couldn't get the image out of his head. Her hair still looked nice, even in the dark.
"No!" Lily exclaimed stubbornly. "You said you would tell me why you were here."
"I said nothing of the sort," Sirius burst with indignation.
Lily seemed to ponder this for a moment as if checking to see if that was true before saying, "True but you're asking me to tell you why I'm here and I should get your answer in return." Sirius didn't get to interject that he would answer, only if she answered the damn question because she was prattling on. "Although you asked first I'm the lady"…with the flaxen hair Sirius thought amusing himself even thought it was accurate…"You should be a gentleman and go first."
"I think both you and I know, I am no gentleman, besides Lady's first." Sirius bowed, pretending to take off a top hat.
"Just tell me, "she said miffed, the firelight dancing across her face…and her hair.
"Do you really want to know?" Sirius asked doubtfully. She just gave him a look that Sirius took to mean obviously. "I got into a bit of a brawl with Regulus."
"I figured it'd be something like that." She spoke up not looking the least surprised.
"You did?" Sirius asked confused as to why she would jump to that conclusion. Sure he was a bit, okay understatement, a prankster it wasn't like he got into rows with people every week.
"Yeah, I figured with the blood and broken nose and everything." She said glancing pointedly at his forehead, swollen lip and apparently broken nose. Sirius had forgotten, what with discovering Evans hair and all. "You really ought to get that fixed."
"Yeah," Sirius muttered frowning as she got up and walked over. Surely no one's hair should be that shiny.
"Episkey," she muttered flopping back down into her armchair as Sirius' nose grew warm and with a crack straightened out.
"Bloody Hell," Sirius put his hand over his nose before rubbing off some of the dried blood underneath it.
"So," Evans began apparently no-concerned. "What was it about?"
"What was what about?" Sirius asked looking up from prodding his nose, confused.
"Your row with Regulus," She said simply. Not even scolding him about getting along with his sibling. Was all right with the world? Sirius pinched himself just to be sure, Lily didn't notice, she was looking at him expectantly though.
"Uh, no. Privileged information," Sirius shook his head.
Lily although looking slightly annoyed, agreed saying "fair enough."
After a pregnant pause Sirius cleared his throat, trying desperately not to notice the flames that were Evans hair. "Why didn't you scold me?" Sirius asked.
"Hmm?" Lily said glancing up at Sirius seeming to have been deep in thought.
"Why didn't you tell me I should try to get along with my brother? Everyone else does, except James." Yes that was James, caring, considerate.
Lily took a while to reply, seeming to be deliberating her response. "Well, I guess it's because I understand." Sirius snorted. "Moderately," she amended. "My sister and I, well, we hate each other, absolutely loathe one another."
"She hates magic, so by association she hates me. And I hate the egotistical bitch she's become. So I understand where you're coming from." When Sirius made no move to reply she continued.
"I understand that sometimes no matter how much you want to or how much you try you can never go back to the way it was. But the difference is I come from a loving family. And even though they don't support us fighting or even comprehend why, they still love us both, and don't side with one or the other.
"So, I can't imagine what it must be like for you. But I do know this, both you and Regulus, Petunia and I, we as siblings still love each other as I'm sure you two do. After all you are brothers."
Sirius had to refrain from laughing, hadn't that been the very thing he said to him. "Listen to me Reg, we're brothers. Doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?"
"My brother died the day he was scorched off the tree," Regulus had said. His face, his eyes, his voice; were cold, void of all emotion.
"I didn't know you had a sister," Sirius said instead of what he was really thinking. "I'm sorry you don't get along."
"Petunia and I haven't gotten along for years. It's not news." Lily said shifting her gaze uncomfortably.
"Why does she hate magic?" Sirius asked inquisitively, she did seem to understand, if not about his parents then about his sibling. She understood in a way even James didn't.
"I'm not quite sure," Lily said thoughtfully. "I guess it's like Quidditch."
"Quidditch?" Sirius asked surprised. What did hating magic have to do with a completely magic game?
"Yeah, Quidditch," she said rolling her eyes at the skeptical look Sirius gave her. "In first through a good half of third year I convinced everyone, including myself that I loathed Quidditch."
"I remember that!" Sirius laughed. "You told James that, that Slytherin game was the first you'd ever gone to and he about nearly broke his broom in half afterwards.
"You chose the wrong game to go to for your first Evans. The one time he plays shitty and you come. And how you tortured him afterwards, for at least five months after. 'I don't know what people go on about potter.'" Sirius quoted imitating Lily's snooty little voice from third year. At least Lily had the good graces to look slight ashamed. "'You're not really all that good!' I'm glad you finally stopped because he was getting on my nerves. And on the verge of going bald."
"Bald?" Lily repeated.
"Yeah, from pulling his hair out. You know, it was only because of a Remus situation that he played so bad at all."
"Remus situation?" Lily questioned.
Sirius blanched catching his slip up. "Remus was ill, James was worried, sick actually. You know how Remus is always ill." Sirius chanced a glance at Lily. She was looking thoughtfully into the fire and seemed to be mulling it over. The answer, apparently acceptable because she nodded but Sirius knew his white colour didn't miss Lily's eye. Damn, he'd already given up Remus' secret once he had swore not to do it again. This was a close call.
"Anyway about Quidditch," Sirius prompted.
"Oh, yeah, Quidditch, See once I actually tried Quidditch I enjoyed it immensely and I figured out why I had 'hated' it so much before."
"And why's that?" Sirius asked curious as to where she was going with this.
"Because first year flying lessons. I sucked." Lily said matter-of-factly.
"Yes you did," Sirius agreed laughing at the memory of it. How her face had burned, red as her hair.
"A fact you and James told me repeatedly if I recall." She said only the tiniest smidge bitterly. "But my point is, I didn't like Quidditch because I was never any good at it. And when I was younger I had to prove I belonged, I so desperately wanted to be good at it. At everything really.
"Well the same is said for Petunia. A family Quality I guess. She wanted to prove her worth against me so she wished she could do magic and when she was told she couldn't and knew she couldn't she hated it instead."
"She never grew out of it like you did?"
Evans shifted in her seat twirling her hair, Sirius bloody wished she would stop. "NO, because she never gave magic a try. But how could she?"
"She's a muggle," Sirius gathered, stating the obvious.
"110 percent" Lily answered smirking. "Married to the most muggle—possibly—man ever."
Sirius laughed, Lily did too. He liked how her hair bounced around her face and on her back when she laughed. "You know that really was mean how you told James he wasn't worth Dragon Dung at Quidditch."
Lily laughed, Sirius watched her hair. "Payback for all the times first year you told me I was absolutely awful."
"You were horrid Evans."
"Atrocious." Sirius noted just how close they had gotten in between that little banter. The sun was setting so the whole room was ablaze including Lily's hair. God, it was stunning. Lily was leaning on the arm of her chair, her face bright with laughter.
"You're Quidditch analogy actually made sense." Sirius said with a small laugh.
As she spoke her breath fanned across his face and all he wanted to do was run his fingers through her auburn hair. "Because I'm Brilliant," Lily grinned, her hair gleamed.
"Believe what you want," Sirius managed to laugh.
"You know," Lily said contemplatively. "I like your new haircut," was she whispering? Sirius had to lean in even closer to hear her. "It shows of the angles of your face."
"Oh but, alas, how I detest it." Sirius whispered back. They hadn't even noticed but they'd gotten closer still, both leaning across the arms of the chairs.
"Really?" Lily asked sounding surprised. "I thought you would've liked it seeing as how it makes you look gorgeous."
"You're hair is gorgeous too," Sirius said softly, leaning in for the kill.
"Oh my God!" Sirius opened his eyes, Lily had leapt up. "I need to go find James," she said her eyes wide and frantic, she looked even more beautiful frazzled.
"Why?" Sirius called out, for she had bounded across the room.
"Because," she said stopping and turning around her face bright and full of wonder. "I just realized…I love him."
Sirius felt the sharp pang of disappointment, his heart was sinking. With that she was out of the room. Immediately the book shelves disappeared and the room condensed all sign of the mysterious vanilla scent gone. At least he now knew why the book shelves had been there.
A/N: I actually am really pleased with this one. :) It took me around five hours, I counted :).
- the reason why there are so open with each other is because the room makes them calm and it also helps them to sort out their thoughts because that's what they both wanted. Lily realizes she loves James because of this and Sirius meanwhile realizes he has a crush on Lily because of this.