And Fuck You Too, Christian, Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, OCs, comedy, crack, language. I don't own any wrestlers in this.
The sequel to And I Was Like Fuck You.
And of course fuck you is used in this, but not as much as last time.
No beta reader, mistakes are all my own.
Jay sat on top of the roof of the old firehouse in the town they were currently at. It was about five blocks away from his hotel, but he could still see it from where he was sitting. It was his safest place to hide from Danika and he was sure she would not look for him there, of all places. At least not yet – or so he hoped. As he sat down, legs crossed, he pulled out a clip board with little strips of white paper on it. He began scribbling the words fuck you on all of them.
Spread around him were a large amount of carrier pigeons aimless wandering in circles. Jay had a sack of birdseeds sitting next to him and he would take a break from writing to toss out a handful every now and then.
"This is all Mikayla's fault." Jay mumbled, scribbling yet another fuck you on to a piece of paper. Once he felt like he had enough of them he stood up, looking at the pigeons around him, the paper strips in his hand. "Alright, this shouldn't be that hard." He reached for the closest pigeon to him, but it just made a noise and scurried away from him. "Hey come back here!"
Jay followed after the pigeon, which instead of flying, just continued to scurry away from him, only at a faster pace now. He was nearly chasing after the bird, which refused to let itself be caught by him. "Slow down you damn bird!" The bird had him pretty much running around the roof in a circle.
After what seemed like a good, unnecessary five minutes of nothing, Jay finally caught the pigeon. "Ha! Now hold still. I'm not going to hurt you. I love animals, ok?" He said, taking a strip of paper and wrapping it around the pigeon's leg. He relaxed his grip on the bird and it just lazily sat in his hand. "See? Alright, now you know where to go." And with that said, he gave the bird a slight boost and it flew away. He watched it fly for a few seconds before turning to the next bird. "Your turn."
A good hour later Jay was now back to sitting on the ground, with his legs crossed again, scribbling on one last piece of paper. Once done, he rolled it up and wrapped it around the last pigeon's leg. "Alright little guy, don't let me down. Make Jay proud." This bird took off from jay's hands on its own. Jay smiled, satisfied, as he watched it fly away. But two seconds later, scowled as the bird's crap landed on his forehead.
"Yeah well fuck you too, bird!" He shouted, shaking his fist at the fleeting animal.
Mikayla was standing on the hotel balcony of the room her and Matthew shared. He was taking a shower so she decided to stand out there and wait for him. As she leaned against the railing she noticed a pigeon flying around the hotel, and then another one, and then another one. She leaned back abruptly as one came flying towards her but crashed right in to the glass door that separated the balcony and the bedroom.
Being the animal lover she was, she knelt down beside it and picked it up. It gave a soft sound and that's when she noticed the strip of paper wrapped around its leg. Curious, she unwrapped it then rolled her eyes in slight annoyance. It big writing it said FUCK YOU. She only needed to guess once about who was responsible for that.
Mikayla stood up, the bird now flying from her hands to see there were now over ten of them sitting on the railing of the balcony. "What the-" She began, noticing they too all had strips on their legs. She unwrapped all of them to see they also FUCK YOU on them. "Seriously Jay? Who does this? Where did you even find carrier pigeons?" She asked herself as more pigeons soon arrived.
Her eyebrows raised in panic as the balcony soon became over run by pigeons. She quickly dashed inside and slid the door closed. She tried her best to count all the birds sitting on the other side, all of them with strips attached. And she could only bet that they all said the same thing: fuck you.
Randy was walking out of the hotel, heading for his car. He grabbed his keys and unlocked his door. As he slid in he watched a gray mess of feather dived right down in to his windshield. And telling by the lack of movement, it was not intentional. He raised an eyebrow as he got out of the car and moved towards the front hood to get a better look. He picked up a pigeon.
The bird looked around in his hands, dazed as can be. Just moving around in circles – Randy's hands were big enough to hold it like that. He spotted something attached to its leg and unwrapped it. He raised another eyebrow. On the strip of paper, in messy but big handwriting it said: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU – the rest being squeezed on there due to lack of space.
"What the hell…"
Jay was walking back in to the hotel lobby, heading for the elevator when Mikayla came running up to him. She looked extremely unhappy. Jay stared at her nervously, but tried his best to hide it. With a voluntary cough he asked, "Can I help you?"
She frowned as she smacked him on the side of his head. He winced, letting out an audible 'ouch'. "Where the hell do you get off sending forty-six pigeons that all say fuck you to my hotel room?" She asked, now standing akimbo. He looked at her confused.
"Why did they all go to you?" He asked, not answering her question.
"What do you mean why did they all come to me? You sent them, you dumbass. Where did you even get carrier pigeons? And why the hell did they listen to you?"
"I am an animal activist. They love me. That's why they listened to me." For that, Mikayla smacked him again. This time on the other side of his head. "Will you stop hitting me?"
"Your damn pigeons are still on the balcony. Go get them now, or I'm telling Dani." She threatened, glaring at him. Jay matched with a glare on his own, not giving in.
"So?"
"She's in the lobby. Over there. Talking to Nattie." Inside Jay panicked slightly. How did he not notice she was in here? Wait, is Mikayla even telling the truth? Should he risk looking? "Get those pigeons now or else… Hey Da-" Before she could finish, Jay stuffed a donut in her mouth. We'll assume he picked it up on his way back to the hotel.
"Alright, I'm going, I'm going!" And with that said – Screw the elevator! Jay ran around the corner and took the stairs up to the 8th floor. She spit out the donut.
"Ew, Jay you know I hate jelly filled!"
Matthew was finally done with his shower and dressed. He headed out of the bathroom expecting to see Mikayla, but instead he saw a plethora of pigeons staring at him through the balcony windows. He stopped in his tracts looking back at them. And at the same time all of their eyes went straight to him .
"It's too soon for the pigeon apocalypse!" He cried, flailing his arms as he ran back in to the bathroom and slammed the door shut – making sure to lock it as well. And just as he did that, Jay burst in to the room.
"Get away pigeons, go away!" He shouted, running towards the window – and unfortunately running right in to it. Man, those were some clean windows. Jay shook his head, clearing his now blurry vision. He looked through the window seeing the pigeons all staring at him. "Um…" He opened the window this time and the birds all flew away at the same time. "Hey! You don't need to fly away from me that fast, sheesh."
Mikayla walked in to the room and up to Jay, watching the pigeons fly off in different directions. "Good. Now I don't have to tell Dani." She said, not looking at him. He let out a sigh of relief. "You will be telling her."
Jay jumped, looking at her. "What? Why?"
She looked at him and scowled. "Because I said so."
He slouched slightly in defeat and mumbled, "Whatever." Then a thought struck him and he stood up straight again. "Hey you said there were only forty-six pigeons?"
She looked back at him. "Yeah, I only counted forty-six."
"Well I sent off forty-seven." Jay said.
"Where's the last one then?"
Randy looked behind him for the umpteenth time. "Stop following me, you damn pigeon!" He demanded, turning back around. The pigeon made a soft noise, stopped and cocked its head to one side, then continued following Randy. "Ugh! I'll get you for this, Reso."
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