Author Note
Hello Halo fellow Halo fans : D I finally started my first parody one-shot series here on because hey who doesn't love humor?
I do not own Halo.
Enjoy : )
Carter was relaxing in the break room with Jorge, Emile, and Six after returning from eliminating a Covenant scouting squad. Well he was before Jun walked in.
"Commander!" The sniper yelled like a tattle-tailing child as he stormed into the room. Carter smacked his palm to his forehead and let his hand slide down his face. Right when he was finally getting a break…
"What is it Jun?" Noble One asked exasperated.
"Kat broke another one of my Sniper Rifles!" He exclaimed as he waved said weapon in his Commander's face. "See!" He yelled pointing at the bent barrel.
"Kat!"
"He provoked me!" The female Spartan defended from her position at the door.
"How?" Carter asked, masking his irritation. Kat crossed her arms over her chest.
"He was starring at my arm!" She yelled and looked down sadly at her robotic appendage.
"So you broke his sniper rifle?" Six inquired with a raised eyebrow. She received a glare from Noble Two.
"Jun you know that's a sensitive issue for Kat…" Carter began.
"You always pick her side in arguments!" The sniper interrupted with a pout.
"I do not!"
"Yeah ya' kinda do…" Emile trailed off with a smirk.
"You're not supposed to pick favorites!" Jun whined.
"I don't pick favorites…"
"She's the only one who gets to call you Carter!" The sniper countered.
"Well…um…"
"Jun of course she's his favorite, they obviously have a thing." Emile explained simply, purposely egging his leader on. Jorge stated slowly backing away from the rooms main table, sensing the oncoming fight. He didn't want to be apart of what was to come, no sir.
"Emile…" The Commander warned, his eye twitching in anger.
"What do you mean?" Six asked, being the innocent new member that she was. Ha innocent…
"Well ya' see Six," Emile began in the most knowledgeable voice he could conger. "These two have been on Noble since the beginning and have been like this" He crossed his fingers. "ever since. Its not that hard to see that deep down they llloooovveee each other." He teased.
"Ooohhh." The other Spartan replied with an understanding nod.
"SIX!" Kat exclaimed in outrage.
"What? It makes sense to me…"
"Ha! I win!" Emile cried victoriously. "Carter and Kat sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G." He began to sing, terribly out of tune, causing Six to laugh. Seeing the oncoming danger, Jun fled the room, his broken Sniper Rifle forgotten as he booked it out of there. Unfortunately for Emile and Six they were to distracted by their fun to see the looks of pure rage on Noble One and Two's faces as they glared death at them.
"We do NOT have a THING!" They yelled in unison and lunged for two unfortunate Spartans. That was the last thing Six and Emile ever heard. Jorge stared in shock from his place against the wall.
"My God!" He said a little louder than he wanted to. Carter and Kat quickly turned around to face him.
"Do you think we have a thing?" Kat asked menacingly.
"Um, I'd rather not get involved… Now if you don't mind, I'll be going now." Jorge said a little scared as he tried to slide along the wall away from his commanding officers.
"Its okay Jorge, you can tell us what you think. We won't do anything to you." Carter soothed, blocking his escape route.
"Well, I um…uh…"
"Just tell us the truth, we can take it." The Commander pushed.
"Well sir, to tell the truth um, I kinda did think you two had a um thing."
"YOU WHAT?" The Spartan III's yelled in unison.
"Uh-oh." Jorge managed before he was tackled. Unfortunately all three failed to realize that Kat was still in her armor and grenades were still strapped to her belt. They noticed to late that one came lose and the safety came off.
"Oh shi-" BOOM!
...
And that is how Noble Team really died and how Jun became the only survivor.
The End.
Sorry I just had to do that haha. Hope you all liked it! Stay tuned for more pointless Noble stupidity : D!