A/N: Ok so this is my first ever ZoSan story so they might be a little OOC, please tell me if you think so! I've only just started writing recently so I have a lot to learn and appreciate any constructive criticism but please be polite and don't flame. Thanks! :) This is also a songfic, basically based on JYJ's In Heaven.

And I don't own One Piece, they belong to Eiichiro Oda.

XXXXXXX

Knock, knock, knock.

Zoro stumbled toward the door, the bottle of vodka falling to the floor when he accidentally crashed into the table. He had been waiting for Sanji, surprised when he had come home and found that Sanji wasn't there. Sanji always ended work earlier than him and would usually be there waiting for him when he got home. But today he had come home to an empty apartment, even though he was earlier than usual.

It had been awhile since he and Sanji had gone and did something nice together and he had planned to bring Sanji out to dinner that night. He knew it must have been tough for Sanji the past couple of months when they hardly saw each other because of Zoro's work.

He had called Sanji's cell countless of times but he never picked up. He couldn't have been caught up in work; Sanji had called him only a few hours ago though he had been in a meeting with Shanks Akagami at that time and had to ignore it. He couldn't shake off this bad feeling in the pit of his stomach though and he had opened and gulped down half of the bottle of champagne he had bought as a present for Sanji. But even with the alcohol, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was terribly wrong to the point of paranoia. He needed to see Sanji.

Zoro swung open the door, hoping that it was Sanji though it was ridiculous to think so. Sanji had a key, he wouldn't need to knock. Zoro was surprised and apprehensive though when he realized there was a policeman instead.

"Good evening sir, are you Mr Roronoa Zoro?"

"Yes that's me. Come in. Is something the matter?" Zoro stepped aside to let the policeman in and he tried to squash the alarm bells ringing in his head. The policeman sat on the couch and Zoro sat on the armchair. The alarm bells shrilled even more when the policeman started to look uncomfortable.

"The reason I'm here today, sir is about a Mr Sanji Black. We believe he is your roommate?" Zoro's heart clenched in fear.

"Yea, what about him? Did something happen to him?"

"I'm sorry to tell you this... But Mr Black is dead. He was involved in a car crash and died instantly. We would like you to come down to the station and help identify his body."

"... W-what?"

"We're sorry for your loss, sir."

XXXXXXX

Luffy was angry and disappointed at him. Everyone was. He was angry and disappointed at himself too. No matter how much they hated him, it couldn't even compare to the hate and guilt he felt for himself. How could he have let this happen?

When he had gone down to the police station, Luffy and the rest were already there. He had never seen them look at him like that ever. It was worse when he saw Sanji's body. He looked as though he was asleep but his skin was too pale, his chest unmoving to be asleep. He looked the same as he always had, the blond hair swept to the side neatly, his stubble trimmed and his stupid curly eyebrows. The only difference now was a cut along his temple, from the crash.

They told him that from eyewitness accounts and a letter they found in Sanji's pocket, they believed that Sanji killed himself.

After that, they led him to a room where they asked him a few questions and he told them that Sanji had an old man but otherwise had no other relatives. He told them that they lived together. He told them that Sanji was a chef and worked at The Baratie, his old man's restaurant. He told them that Sanji was a good person and that he didn't know why Sanji would have done this.

He had wanted to tell them how beautiful he looked when the sun shone on him cuddled up with Zoro in the morning, how his smiles made Zoro's heart soar, how his food was the best in the world, next to Sanji himself. How Zoro would do anything to get him back.

He had to fill up some forms afterwards and also arrange for Sanji's funeral. The others had gone off though Robin had stayed behind. They had walked to a park in silence where Robin gave him the letter that the police had found with Sanji.

Dear Zoro,

I know that if you're reading this letter, I'm probably dead. I don't know what to say, really, other than that I'm not sorry. It's been hell the past few weeks, and nothing I try is working. I know this is like taking a cowards way out but I can't do it. I can't do it alone.

I know it's not your fault, or the other's but I wish... I just wished you could have been there for me. I've hardly seen you, it's like you're not even there anymore. I don't even know if you even love me. I felt so... so lonely. I can't bear the pain anymore.

I'm sorry to everyone. I hope that one day you will forgive me. For being this weak.

I love you.

- Sanji

I love you.

Zoro felt sick to his stomach. It was all his fault. Robin told him that she couldn't forgive him for what he had done but she also told him that she understood that it was their fault too, for not checking up on Sanji, for being too preoccupied with work too.

Robin left awhile later and Zoro spent some time sitting on a bench in the park, trying to get his stomach to settle down while staring up into the night sky, wondering if Sanji was looking down at him right now among the stars.

He wondered if Sanji knew now that Zoro had never stopped loving him. Had always loved him. From the beginning.

XXXXXXX

During the funeral, Zoro seemed to move on autopilot. He had done this before for when Kuina had died. He accepted condolences and small shakes of the hand or a pat on the back. Droves of people came, Sanji's colleagues at the Baratie, customers who were regulars at the restaurant and whom Sanji had become friends with.

Koshiro and Tashigi came as well and told him that he could come back to the dojo anytime. That they would be there for him. That it would always be open for him. He had thanked them but refused to move back. Who would take care of the apartment if he did?

They had looked at him in sympathy and Tashigi had hugged him something fierce. It still hurt him every time he looked at her, she looked too much like her sister but he still cared for her and didn't want them to worry so he smiled and assured her that he would be fine. Even though he knew it was a lie.

When the gang came, Luffy didn't speak to Zoro at all, he didn't even look at him, his straw hat pulled down low over his eyes, ignoring Zoro as he went to his seat. Usopp had told him that Luffy will get over his anger and for him not to take it to heart. Nami and Chopper were sobbing quietly the entire time while Franky sobbed noisily as always. The rest too had tears in their eyes though they tried their best not to let them fall.

Zoro's was clear and dry.

Sanji's old man, Zeff came but ignored Zoro too. He had a poker face during the recital but it disappeared to one filled with sadness and grief when he came up to the coffin and looked at his baby eggplant. He placed a stalk of delphinium flower atop Sanji's folded hands before he turned and left.

The gang too walked up to the coffin one by one, whispering final goodbyes, their faces solemn and their voices choked with emotion. Zoro was the last to go and he stared at Sanji's pale face, taking in every detail, reaching a hand out to brush a few stray strands of hair back to its proper place.

He brushed his fingers along the curly eyebrow before moving his fingers down Sanji's cheek, continuing down along his neck and smoothing down the black jacket over the striped blue shirt that Zoro had chosen for Sanji to wear. He had been wearing that outfit when they had first met and it was both Zoro's and Sanji's favourite.

Zoro placed a stalk of violet hyacinth atop Sanji's folded hands, beside the delphinium. He bent and kissed Sanji's forehead one last time before he stepped back and closed the lid.

He stood in between Robin and Tashigi as they watched the coffin being lowered into the grave, and Zoro continued to stand there even when everyone else had gone and it had started to rain.

XXXXXXX

It was only after Sanji's funeral did the shock wear off, did reality finally hit him. He was sitting at the bar in the kitchen chewing on a sandwich when it happened. The morning light was streaming in and illuminating the entire kitchen in an ethereal glow and suddenly Sanji was there, cooking his favorite pancakes and laughing happily at him. It had seemed so real. The light in Sanji's hair making it seem a golden color, his skin pale but healthy, his smile radiant. Just like always.

Zoro had dropped the sandwich, reaching out, eager to touch him but just as the tips of his fingers almost reached him, Sanji vanished, leaving him alone in the kitchen. In the kitchen that Sanji had designed himself. The kitchen that Sanji loved so much. The kitchen that he had been so ecstatic over when it was finally finished. Where Zoro would always find him after a day's work, slumped over the island waiting for Zoro to come home, a cup of coffee in his hand.

Sanji wasn't going to be here anymore. He would never again wake to see Sanji sleeping curled beside him, see him smoke a cigarette out on the porch, see him cook in the kitchen he loved dearly, to eat his food, to see him fight in the ring again or to spar. He would never be able to make love to him anymore, to hold him in his arms, to smell his unique scent of spices, smoke and something Sanji, to feel his soft lips, to bask in the feel of Sanji's skin against his own. He would never see Sanji smile at him again, his beautiful blue eyes full of love for him. Just for him. Only for him.

Zoro doubled over on the tile floor as his brain finally caught up to reality, when he finally realized that it was real, that Sanji, his Sanji was gone forever and it was all his fault. It was his fault that Sanji had felt that way; it was his fault for pushing the very thing he couldn't live without away. It was his fault that Sanji committed suicide.

And he could do nothing to fix his mistake, it was too late. Too late. And Sanji had paid for it with his life.

I didn't even get to see him for the last time and I sent him away.

"NOOOOO!" Zoro screamed, tears streaming down his face as grief overwhelmed him. He brought his fists down over and over onto the tile floor in despair, stopping only when he realized that he had broken a few of the tiles. He didn't want to ruin Sanji's precious kitchen.

His cries, sobs and hiccups echoed in the empty apartment but he didn't try to stop. There was no reason to. There wasn't going to be anyone who would come in and see him this way. There was no one to hide his tears and pain from, no one to hold and comfort him, no one to make stupid jokes until he cheered up or stopped crying, no one to wipe his tears away and make him a soothing cup of hot chocolate. No one to hold his hand and tell him that he loved him no matter what.

Not anymore.

XXXXXXX

The sunlight streaming in woke Zoro up from his sleep and he blinked blearily at his surroundings. He had fallen asleep on the kitchen floor and his body ached everywhere due to the uncomfortable position. He was cold too, having slept without at least a blanket. He knew he had to get up and stretch, wash himself, make breakfast, and do all the other necessary functions of life.

But he couldn't find the motivation to do so. He felt so tired. What does it matter if he didn't go wash up? It wasn't like there was Sanji anymore to kick his ass for being an uncultured ape. Hot tears fell as he thought of Sanji, staying with him even though they were complete opposites. Accepting Zoro for who he was, accepting everything about the swordsman, even his flaws. No one had ever stood by him like Sanji had. And he had pushed him away.

Zoro had had difficulty sleeping one night and had been flipping through his phone when he noticed something he had never realized before.

Sanji had called him a few seconds right before the time of the accident.

And he had been too busy with a meeting and had ignored it.

It was all his fault.

Zoro didn't feel like doing anything other than to wallow in his memories of Sanji so he did just that, only getting up from the floor to grab some bottles of sake.

Zoro basically lived his life constantly staring into space or rifling through old photos of the two of them. He spent days just like that, doing nothing but getting himself drunk. It was the only way he knew to deal with the pain, to dull the ache. He went back to work after two weeks and buried himself in it, working till the wee hours of the night. Weekends, he went back to getting himself drunk and hardly ever ate or did anything else but he would always make sure to keep the apartment clean and neat. Sanji didn't like it if he made a mess.

It was a month later when the gang had stopped by, worried when he hadn't responded to their calls, texts or emails. They had broken down the door when he had failed to answer and found him lying almost comatose on the couch, sake bottles littered everywhere. He never touched Sanji's expensive wine. They immediately dragged him to the hospital where he was admitted for alcohol poisoning.

He had woken up surrounded by everyone, even Luffy. He turned his head to the side, unable to meet their eyes, knowing they would be filled with disappointment at him.

"Zoro." Zoro ignored Luffy and continued to stare at the wall beside his bed.

"Zoro... Look at me." The tone didn't leave any room for protest and so Zoro turned, bracing himself. But they only looked at him with understanding and worry, pained to see him be this way, to see him wasting away. It threw him off and tears started falling subconsciously.

Zoro cried as everyone stepped forward and engulfed him in a group hug and they only hugged their usually stoic swordsman tighter as he fell apart.

XXXXXXX

The next day, Zoro obediently stayed in bed, reasoning that he had no reason to hurry; there wasn't anyone to go home to. Chopper was happy that he was following instructions for once but concerned as he knew it was unusual for the swordsman to be so docile.

Zoro turned from the window when the door to his room opened. Chopper came in and sat down on the chair at his bed, all the while not looking at Zoro. He looked nervous and was fidgeting in his seat. Zoro waited for a while to let Chopper say what he wanted.

"Ano.. Zoro, I was thinking that maybe... You should try... Counseling?"

Zoro blinked stupidly, the words slowly sinking in. "Hah?! What for? No way am I going to go for that kind of shit."

Zoro winced when tears started to form in Chopper's eyes, the small boy's cute face scrunching up in a frown, trying to hold back his tears.

"Chopper? Hey, what's wrong? Come on, tell me."

"It's just... I know it must be hard for you after what happened and... And I don't like to think about what would have happened if we hadn't found you in time! You could have died! And we would have lost another nakama!

I just... I just don't want that to happen again and I thought seeing a counsellor might help you deal with the grief... I don't want to lose another friend." Chopper sobbed, hands covering his face.

Zoro felt bad for snapping at Chopper earlier and he scooted over to the edge of the bed, hugging the sobbing boy to him. After a while, Chopper hugged Zoro back, mindful of the tubes.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean it that way. I.. I just wasn't thinking straight at that time, I promise it won't happen again. And I seriously doubt talking about my feelings with a stranger would make me feel better." Zoro chuckled lightly, trying to lighten the mood. Chopper smiled sadly at him.

"Besides," Zoro shifted, scooping Chopper up and into his lap. "Why would I need to see a stranger when I can see my friends? Wouldn't being with my friends enough? Who knows me better than any stranger would?"

Finally Chopper smiled at him, a blush on his cute cheeks. Zoro smiled back and ruffled Chopper's unruly soft brown hair. Chopper snuggled back into Zoro's arms, hugging him tightly.

"I miss him."

Zoro smiled and buried his face in Chopper's hair, hiding the tears that threatened to fall.

"I miss him too."

XXXXXXX

After five days in the hospital, Chopper deemed him well enough and he was discharged. Everyone had taken a day off from work to make sure he was okay and they all gathered in Zoro's and Sanji's apartment and just hung out together, like they used to in the past. Though they couldn't help but feel the sombre absence of a certain blond cook.

When night came, Usopp and Kaya went off first, followed by Ace and Vivi and lastly Brook and Chopper. The rest - Robin, Franky, Luffy and Nami stayed over. They all spread blankets and pillows on the floor and slept beside one another.

Since Sanji's death, surrounded by nakama, Zoro was finally able to go to sleep.

Zoro awoke to the smell of pancakes. He glanced around and saw that he was alone; the others must have woken up. He couldn't fight against the hope rising in his heart as he quickly stood up, moving to the kitchen. Maybe it had all just been a horrible nightmare; that the curlicue was actually still here and was cooking up breakfast for everyone else. That he would have kicked Zoro awake but hasn't because he was too busy pampering Na-

What. The. Fuck. Someone was cooking all right, but it wasn't the shitcook.

Nami, NAMI was at the stove, cooking pancakes while the rest were seated at the island, drinking coffee. They turned to look at him and Nami smiled slightly, "Do you want some pancakes, Zoro?"

Zoro couldn't take it. "THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" It was a good thing Franky and Luffy were there or Nami would have become acquainted with his fist.

Zoro grunted as Luffy and Franky tackled him to the ground inches away from Robin, who was standing in front of a shocked and stricken Nami. Franky managed to grab his arms and pinned him that way as he hauled Zoro up and out of the kitchen and to the baby dojo - a spare room that Sanji and Zoro changed to a mini dojo, Zoro struggling the whole way.

Franky dumped him on the ground, telling him to calm the fuck down before he went back to check up on Nami. Luffy plopped down beside him. They sat together, Zoro trying his best to calm down as Luffy slowly waited. It took an hour of deep meditation before Zoro felt calm enough to think properly. Luffy's company had helped and was welcome too.

"She didn't mean to."

"... I know."

Luffy smiled and patted Zoro on the shoulder as he stood up and went out. "You can come in now."

Zoro turned to the doorway to see Nami peeking at them. She gulped and cautiously made her way to Zoro and Luffy. Luffy grinned at her and patted her shoulder too as he went out, leaving the two of them alone. After a moment, Nami sat down beside Zoro, her knees drawn up and her arms hugging them to herself.

"I'm sorry." A whisper, filled with fear and grief.

Zoro glanced sideways at her. Nami looked really upset and he knew it wasn't just from his attack earlier.

"I'm sorry too."

"I-I just wanted to feel closer to him again. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know."

Zoro wrapped an arm around Nami and she leaned into him as she started to sob. He stroked her hair and she flung an arm around his neck, her face buried in the junction between his neck and shoulder.

"It's going to be okay, I promise."

They stayed that way for a long time, comforting each other.

XXXXXXX

It was a week later when Zoro was cleaning the apartment that he stumbled upon a box of old photo albums. It was filled with photos of when they had first known each other and hated each other's' guts. Zoro smiled as he held up a picture of the two of them at a competition, grinning at the camera, him holding a trophy for Kendo while Sanji was holding a trophy for Savate. They had been too happy with their respective victories to care about their rivalry, arms slung around each other as they celebrated their win.

They had met when they were 19 in France, when Zoro had gone for a mixed martial arts competition held in Paris. Zoro had been running late, having gotten lost on the way to the bathroom when he had bumped into someone who was running in the opposite direction. They had collided with enough force to send the both of them sprawling to the ground.

When Zoro's head had stopped spinning and the world righted itself, he had found a pissed off, blonde, pretty boy glaring at him. The blonde picked himself up, shot him another glare and had run off. Zoro had just shrugged it off though he was pissed that the blonde made it seem like it was his fault and for looking at him as though he was dirt on his shoe.

It got worse when Luffy introduced them to each other. They just rubbed each other wrong and always got under each other's skin. Though they secretly enjoyed riling the other up. Or at least, it was the case for Zoro.

He didn't really know how and when their dynamic had changed but he thought it felt a bit different after he was almost cut in half by Mihawk. It was after one competition and though Mihawk hadn't competed, he had been there.

Zoro had sought him out afterwards and asked to duel with him, no rules or regulations. He had thought he was ready but apparently he was still a baby compared to Mihawk. He hardly remembered what happened but he knew that it had been Sanji that held him together, stayed by him as everyone waited for the ambulance, he was there with Zoro all the way.

At first Zoro had thought that the cook really hated him, he had been more moody and angry at Zoro after he recovered. By then Zoro had admitted that he might be interested in the cook and Sanji's behavior had stung.

One day though they were at the Baratie to celebrate Robin's and Franky's engagement. Everyone had gotten drunk though Zoro was only slightly drunk. The cook had approached him and Zoro could tell that he was totally wasted. He could smell the alcohol coming off of him a few feet away. He had just been about to tease the cook about it when Sanji had lunged forward and crushed their lips together.

Their relationship became a whirlwind of angst, hurt and frustration before Sanji finally cracked and confessed to Zoro that he might have some feelings for him. Screamed at him actually, but that's beside the point. After that, they started dating and soon became official boyfriends and Zoro had never felt so happy in his life.

Zoro's smile faded as he thought of how everything had gone wrong. He had had to work harder and for longer when his boss, Ryuuma retired and made him his successor. He was suddenly bombarded with projects and deals, having meetings with their associates and shareholders to prove his worth and ensure their continued investments.

Because of that he hardly saw Sanji anymore, they hardly even talked. He knew that Sanji was stressed with wanting to open his own restaurant and the paperwork involved and so on and he should have been there for him. He knew and yet he prioritized his work before Sanji.

It was the biggest mistake of his life.

Zoro sighed, his finger caressing the photo he held before he placed it back into the album and slid the box back underneath the bed.

He took Wadou from her stand and tied one of Sanji's favourite ties on her hilt, his fingers brushing against the blue silk, the same azure blue as Sanji's eyes. He had two dreams to carry forward now.

XXXXXXX

Huff. Huff. Huff.

Zoro wiped away the sweat falling into his eyes and decided to stop his run, turning towards a convenience store nearby. He had woken up early for his usual weekend workout routine, 5000 push-ups, squats and lunges with 500kg weights, a few hours stretching and practicing his katas with his katanas, some close combat fighting practice and then he had gone for a 10 mile run wearing his leaded vest. All in all a relatively easy routine.

The bell chimed as he went in the store. The cashier glanced up at him but returned back to reading a magazine when he saw it was just him. Zoro would always come in here after a workout for a bottle of water so they recognized each other though they never really talked.

Zoro was contemplating whether to buy a snack when he heard shouting at the counter. He looked over and saw the cashier shouting at a younger black haired kid - he looked to be around 6 or 7 years old - and holding a piece of candy in his hand. Zoro usually ignored such things; it was obvious that the kid had been trying to steal. But he could also tell by the dirt coating the boy from head to toe that he was homeless. Though his clothes were weirdly pristine white.

"Hey, what's happening here?" Zoro asked, coming up to the cashier and kid.

"It's nothing sir, just a kid trying to steal a piece of candy." The cashier replied, looking annoyed. Zoro looked at the kid and saw that his eyes were downcast. It was obvious in his stance that he regretted his actions but Zoro could also tell how the kid really wanted the candy by the way he kept furtively looking at it dangling from the cashier's fingers.

"Right, well I'd like to buy that piece of candy, two bottles of water and this bun." Zoro didn't know what possessed him to buy that candy for the kid. Or the bun. The cashier and kid looked surprised but he paid them no mind. Though he grabbed the kid by the collar when he tried to slink away.

"Not so fast. Don't you want the candy?"

The kid blushed. "A-Are you really going to buy it for me?"

Zoro grinned at him as he took the bag of items from the cashier. "I already did. So you better not bail on me. I don't really like sweets."

The smile on the kid's face was worth it.

XXXXXXX

They both went to the park and Zoro just took a bottle of water while he gave the rest to the kid. They ate and drank in comfortable silence until it was broken by the kid.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"... Sure."

"Have you ever regretted something you've done in your life? A mistake that caused you to lose your most precious item?"

Zoro almost choked, thoughts of the cook immediately coming to the forefront of his mind. He coughed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Yea... Yea I have. You too?"

The kid hummed in response, avoiding the question. "If you were given a chance, would you do anything to correct that mistake?"

Zoro stared off into the distance, thinking about Sanji, all his memories flashing through his mind. If he was given a chance to turn back time... "Yeah, of course I would." Zoro turned when he heard no answer, wondering at the sudden weird questions but found no one beside him.

The kid was gone.

Zoro frowned, that was strange. He shrugged it off, pushing the encounter to the back of his mind.

XXXXXXX

Sanji. His Sanji was standing right across the street from him. Zoro tried to get his attention but Sanji was looking down at the pavement deep in thought. Zoro looked around, feeling bewildered at his surroundings. And why was Sanji here? And why is there a feeling of impending doom?

It takes him a moment to realize it was the exact same street where Sanji died. He would recognize the red ribbon tied around the pole anywhere. Zoro's eyes widened when he could hear and see a car speeding around the corner. He spun back to Sanji across from him, wanting to shout out, to stop him but his words died in his throat when his obsidian eyes met an azure blue one already looking directly at him, filled with tears. The intensity behind that gaze made all the thoughts fly right out of his head and he stared speechless as Sanji mouthed the words, "I love you."

And proceeded to step forward, right into the car's path.

Zoro screamed and his eyes flew open as he thudded to the ground. He took in deep breaths, slowly realizing that he was at home and that it was just a nightmare. He groaned as he pushed himself up, untangling himself from the bedsheets. He stumbled to the bathroom and started splashing freezing cold water on his face. He shivered as he leaned back against the wall. The dream had been so vivid, even now he could see all the blood spraying everywhere, Sanji's body broken and lying in a pool of blood, Sanji's azure blue eyes dull with the absence of life.

He grabbed a towel and wiped himself off, shrugging on sweats and one of Sanji's bigger sweaters though it just fitted Zoro. He buried his face in the sleeves and breathed in Sanji's scent - that unique blend of smoke and spices and a hint of vanilla. He had never touched any of Sanji's stuff even after the incident and so they managed to keep that unique scent. He wanted to try and keep at least that part of the cook with him for as long as possible. He felt himself calm down immediately and he pushed thoughts of the nightmare away.

He went into the kitchen and started to brew some coffee in the coffee machine Sanji had specially brought. He smiled as he remembered how insistent Sanji had been to get this specific brand and model and he chuckled at how Sanji wouldn't be able to function properly for the whole day if he didn't have his daily dose of caffeine and a cigarette in the morning.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Zoro frowned, unsure if he heard correctly. It couldn't be Luffy, he was overseas for the kickboxing championships with Nami, Ace and Vivi, Robin was overseas at an archaeology site, Franky and Usopp were at some technology convention, Brook was having his world tour and Chopper and Kaya was busy with work at the hospital. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was 7 in the morning! Zoro snorted, he must have misheard, no one would be up at this godforsaken time on a Sunday.

Except for the shitcook.

Zoro shook his head as though to get rid of such thoughts, Sanji was dead and he can't come back. He had to move on. Zoro busied himself with pouring himself a cup. He decided to skip breakfast and went to the island to drink his coffee.

"Hey, moss-head! Open the damn door!"

Zoro froze, cup of coffee halfway to his mouth. He set it down, turning his head to stare at the door.

Silence.

Zoro shook his head. He must be hallucinating. There was no way that Sanji was outside the door, yelling at him. Like he used to. Zoro grabbed the cup and gulped down a large mouthful, hardly aware of the hot liquid burning his throat, too focused on squashing the sadness that came with the memory.

THUMP!

"MARIMO!"

Zoro jolted out of his stool, lunging towards the door. Hope rose up like a tidal wave before he could even begin to suppress it. He was sure that he had heard the cook's voice, it had to be!

Zoro swung open the door with enough force to almost break it off its hinges and was met with... A face full of groceries. He grunted in surprise as two full paper bags of groceries flew at his face and he only barely managed to catch them before they hit him. He looked up and saw a miracle.

Sanji. His Sanji was standing right in front of him, smirking, a cigarette hanging loosely between his lips. Zoro was speechless. He stared, the smirk turning into a grin as Sanji placed another bag on top of the ones he was holding, using his free hand to take the cigarette. Sanji leaned in and softly kissed him but Zoro was too stunned to react. Sanji's pouting face snapped him out of it enough though to follow Sanji in to the kitchen. Where the blonde promptly began to put the groceries to their proper places.

Zoro could only continue to stare. Sure he had hoped, but he had also braced himself for disappointment. It felt surreal. It was impossible. How... How is Sanji here?

"Marimo, what are you doing just standing there? Did you finally lose that one brain cell of yours?" Sanji's insult seemed to break him out of his trance though he made no attempt to retaliate. Instead he dropped the bags of groceries at the island and went to the calendar, picking it up.

His eyes widened when he saw the year. It was last year, when he and Sanji were still seeing each other regularly, before Zoro inherited the company, before Sanji killed himself. He didn't know how or why, but time had somehow turned backwards.

He was being given a second chance.

"Marimo? Mosshead? Zoro? Zoro!" Zoro looked up sharply when he felt a hand on his arm. Sanji's beautiful azure blue eye was looking at him worriedly and Zoro realized that he was gripping the calendar too hard; the poor thing looked about ready to break in half. Sanji's pale but warm hand was gripping his arm, his eyes were shining with life and worry, not the dull blue Zoro had seen in his dream. Sanji was alive!

Sanji didn't see it coming. One moment he was looking at his marimo, concerned at how he looked near to a mental breakdown - he didn't even react to the insult! - and the next he was being crushed in an embrace from said marimo. Sanji feebly pounded on Zoro's back.

"Mosshead - koff - I - I can't - breathe..."

Zoro immediately loosened his grip but didn't step away nor did he let go of Sanji. He nuzzled at the soft blonde hair and laughed lightly as he heard Sanji gulping in deep breaths. He relished in the feel of having Sanji in his arms again, of feeling his warmth, of being able to hear his heartbeat, the sound reassuring.

A deity he didn't believe in was giving him another chance to make things right and he wasn't going to waste it.

"I love you, Sanji."

XXXXXXX~

Zoro felt Sanji stiffen and his eyes widened when he realized what he had said. It was the first time either of them had said it and he panicked, thinking that it might be too soon for Sanji. Zoro was about to pull away when he felt Sanji hug him back, a hand in his hair as Sanji buried his face in his neck, pulling Zoro closer. He could feel Sanji's smile as he said, "I love you too."

Zoro heart felt like it wanted to explode with happiness and he couldn't help the laughter from bursting out. He felt Sanji scowl immediately but before he could say anything, Zoro picked him up and twirled around the kitchen, Sanji screeching at him to stop or he'll break one of his precious kitchen stuff, the brute.

Zoro only laughed louder but he stopped and set Sanji down.

"The hell was that for bastard? Are you making fun of me?" Sanji scowled at him, his cheeks pinking from the embarrassment. So cute.

Zoro cupped Sanji's head in his hands and brushed their noses together, a grin still on his face. "I'm just so fucking happy right now."

Sanji's face flared and Zoro hugged him again. He didn't want to ever let him go.

XXXXXXX

Zoro made sure to make time for Sanji, staying up late to make sure that he can be with Sanji everyday even with his busy schedule. He wasn't going to let Sanji have a reason to leave.

So for the next few weeks, Zoro brought Sanji out to the countryside where they went cycling, he followed him to various restaurants to help Sanji with research on locations and the logistics of opening up a restaurant in town. They went to amusement parks, they stayed at home and watched scary movies together, they made love to one another and cuddled together and on days when they couldn't be together, Zoro made sure to text or call Sanji at least once a day just to tell him that he loved him. This time, he was there for Sanji to lean on.

Zoro stepped into the restaurant, one of Sanji's favourites. He smiled at seeing the blonde, already waiting at the table with a bottle of wine, his face a look of uncertainty and annoyance. Zoro felt a bit guilty, he was late for their date but he had good reason.

Zoro sauntered over to the table, acting all smug and took a sip of the wine, watching as Sanji looked outright annoyed at him. He grinned when Sanji opened his mouth - probably to rant at him but was cut off by the classical band he had hired for the occasion, watching as Sanji's eyes widened as he turned to look behind him where they started to play his favourite song.

The happiness he saw in Sanji's expression made his heart constrict. How long had he hoped to see it again? As Sanji turned back to face him - his grin so happy and wide - Zoro stood up, taking out a small velvet box from his pocket and kneeled in front of Sanji.

He held the velvet box up, revealing the golden ring, his hands shaking slightly - though he'll never admit it - and asked a stunned blonde, "Sanji, will you marry me?"

He waited, the silence deafening and he almost flinched when Sanji stood up and told him to do the same. He slowly stood up, showing nothing on the outside while inside he was panicking at the lack of an answer.

He looked up and was stunned at the widest, happiest grin he had ever seen on Sanji's face. He looked so beautiful, cheeks red and azure eyes sparkling. Sanji flung himself at Zoro, hugging tightly as he said, "Yes, yes yes of course I'll marry you!"

Zoro smiled as his heart sang in joy. He wound his arms around his most precious person and hugged him back as the entire restaurant started to clap, congratulating them. Sanji's face turned a deep red at that but otherwise the grins stayed on their faces. Zoro took the golden band, it was a unique ring, it had taken Zoro months to find one just like it and it was the only one that existed in the world.

It was black in color and had flecks of blue and green, making it seem as though one was looking at the stars.

He took it out of the box and slowly slid it onto Sanji's left ring finger. He brought it up and kissed every single fingertip, Sanji's face reddening even more and then he was kissing Sanji, his soft lips against Zoro's in a sweet and tender kiss.

They held a celebration the week later at the Baratie.

XXXXXXX

Zoro and Sanji were going around Chinatown for food shopping when Zoro stumbled across the kid again. They were having fun and Sanji had gone off to see some promotion on premium meats when Zoro realized the kid was standing beside him.

"Your boyfriend looks happy."

Zoro startled slightly but relaxed when he recognized the kid. His clothes were still strangely pristine white. He smiled as he watched Sanji. "Yeah. I'm happy too." The kid nodded, smiling at him but Zoro noted that it was sad.

"Changing the past will not change his future."

"What?"

The kid smiled at him again with that sad smile of his before he turned and disappeared in the sudden crowd that formed.

"Hey kid! Wait! What did you mean by that?!" Zoro shouted, trying to find the kid but he couldn't see him.

"Zoro! Who the hell are you shouting at? Don't scare the ladies here dumbass." Sanji was suddenly at his side, concerned at finding his marimo acting like a lunatic. Zoro wheeled back to him, calming down as Sanji's presence always did for him.

"It's... It's nothing." How was he supposed to explain to Sanji? Hey this might seem crazy but you were actually dead and it was my fault and I hated myself for losing you so I miraculously went back to the past and made it all better? Right, Sanji'd probably think that he had gone insane.

Sanji seemed suspicious but fortunately he let it go. Zoro intertwined their fingers together, feeling childishly proud when he felt the ring, and together they left the market to get some dinner.

Later that night, Zoro stayed up even after Sanji had gone to sleep - blonde head on his chest as he cuddled close to Zoro - thinking, worrying about what the kid had meant. He stroked Sanji's blonde locks as he thought back to what the kid had said until he was mentally exhausted, placing a last kiss onto the top of Sanji's head before he fell into a fitful sleep.

XXXXXXX

The next morning, Zoro was getting ready for a presentation to new shareholders when he realized the significance.

"All ready? Nailing this would definitely help the company go to new heights." Daz Bones, Zoro's colleague and partner said as he came up to the podium where Zoro was setting up his laptop.

"Yeah. Hey can you help me get up to speed? I've been so distracted with the presentation that I don't even remember who I'm presenting to." Zoro murmured, not wanting anyone else to hear.

"Are you kidding me? Shanks Akagami of Akagami corporations and his associates will be here today. You even said that Luffy managed to help you get an audience with him and you forgot?" Bones tasked in reprimand before he went to greet those that were coming in.

Zoro stood there, his eyes widening at the sudden realization.

Today was the day that Sanji had died.

Changing the past will not change his future.

Zoro grabbed his phone, immediately speed dialling Sanji's number.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Beep- this is Sanji Black's voicemail, please leave a message if you're a lady~ Otherwise don't bother. –Beep.

Shit. Zoro put down the phone and saw Shanks had just come. He pushed his worries aside as he went to greet him, Sanji will be fine. He did say he would be over at Vivi's today to talk to her personal cook. He'll be fine.

He tried his hardest to squash the feeling of doom away.

Elsewhere, a certain blonde cook stood on the pavement, rummaging around in his bag. Damn, his phone wasn't with him. He must have left it over at Vivi's place. Oh well, looks like he had to go back.

Sanji sighed, moving towards the traffic light. He noticed with amusement how it had a red ribbon tied around the pole. Some kid must have tied it there.

Zoro went back to the podium, watching them as they got settled into their respective seats, Shanks directly facing Zoro. The feeling was growing more and more intense and he was even starting to sweat a little.

It will not change his future.

Zoro's grip tightened on the edge of the podium. He could vaguely hear the murmurs of concern through the thoughts swirling in his head. Thoughts of his cook.

"Daz, would you start first? I need to make an important call." Zoro said, turning to his partner. Daz looked concerned but did as he was told while Zoro went out to phone Vivi.

She picked up immediately. "Vivi? Hey, is the dartboard there with you? I tried calling but he isn't picking up his phone."

"I'm so sorry, Zoro-san! Sanji left earlier and forgot his phone. I have it here with me now. He said that he was going to go visit you at work though, he should be on the way there now. Zoro-san? Zoro-san?"

Zoro had lost attention to the call when he heard that his cook wasn't there. That he was outside. He was in danger. The feeling he had been trying to rid came back in full force and visions of Sanji flashed in front of his eyes.

Sanji, estatic, grinning from ear to ear as he surveyed the finished kitchen. Sanji, his face like an angel as he slept curled up around Zoro. Sanji, his beautiful azure eyes filled with tears as he stepped into the car's path. Zoro almost wanted to hurl.

"Zoro? Hey are you okay?" Daz peeked out, concerned at how Zoro was acting earlier. Zoro snapped out of it enough to tell Daz to continue without him before he was running down the stairs and out of the building. He needed to save Sanji.

XXXXXXX

Zoro reached a distance from the traffic light where Sanji had died, exhaling in relief when he saw the familiar blonde head among the crowd. Sanji was safe. He was about to call out to him when he heard the sound of a speeding car.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Zoro turned to see a white car, moving entirely too fast on the road before he turned back only to see someone accidentally push his Sanji.

Zoro had never moved faster in his life.

Sanji cursed as someone hit him from behind hard enough to actually send him stumbling forward. His eyes widened when he saw a white car heading right towards him and he knew in an instant that he would never be able to move fast enough to avoid it. Then suddenly there was a flash of green in his peripheral vision before Zoro's face appeared right in front of him, his arms grasping at Sanji, his momentum causing Sanji to move with him.

There was a screech of tires and people yelling but neither of them noticed, entrapped in each other's gaze. Sanji hardly registered the rough, gravelly feel of the asphalt road as he stared into familiar, loving obsidian eyes, until it enveloped him entirely.

Thank you for teaching me how to love.

END