(A/N: I own none of Tolkien's stuff, but I own Kristin, Kelsey, and Maura. They are my own characters and you may NOT have them! No stealing or else you shall be attacked by evil circus midgets in Spandex! )
Quick facts!
Maura: Adventurous and gregarious, uses a sword, favorite character is Frodo, red hair, green eyes, tall, plump.
Kristin: Brainy and sarcastic, uses magic, has no favorite character, short dirty-blonde hair, green eyes, tall, skinny.
Kelsey: Observant and cynical, uses archery, favorite character is Legolas, long dark brown hair, gray-blue eyes, tall, skinny.
Act 1: The Fellowship of the Ring – Meets Kristin and Kelsey and Maura.
Chapter 1: A Seemingly Innocent Sleepover.
"Hey, Kristin," Maura ran up to her friend/carpool bud. It was after school, and the weekend had come at last. Kids in ugly, black-and-navy-and-green plaid uniforms were spilling out of St. Charles Borromaeo, the Catholic school Kristin and Maura went to.
"Hiya," Kristin said, greeting her neighbor with a smile.
Maura's mom hadn't come quite yet, so they were aiming to get in a quick conversation. Maura was in the seventh grade, a grade younger then her two best friends, Kristin and Kelsey, who were both eighth graders.
"How was your day?" Maura inquired.
"I despise Mrs. Mentrup." Kristin proclaimed.
"Who doesn't?"
Mrs. Mentrup was an 80-something-year-old English teacher who had been teaching at the school for a good fifty years. You'd think by this time she'd be old, senile, and would be retiring soon, but no. The old lady was still sharp as a tack, and quick with a failing grade or a pink slip.
"Feel like going into details?"
"Nope." Kristin said, shaking her head.
"Alrighty," Maura changed the subject. "You want to have a sleep over this Friday? I'm going to ask Kelsey to come too."
"Sure," Kristin said. "Anything I need to bring?"
"Just a sleeping bag, a pillow, and any thing else you want." Maura said as her Mom pulled up.
"Neato-torpedo," Kristin said, and the two teenagers piled into the car.
That Friday night
"I'm bored..." Kelsey sighed, twirling her long brown braid.
Maura nodded grimly.
"Stupid Weather Man, he said it was going to be sunny, and Mom and Dad are out for the weekend."
"I'm bored..."
"We know!" Kristin snapped, throwing a pillow at Kelsey. It was going to be thunder storming all night, ruining their idea to go to Oceans of Fun. The three friends had grabbed their sleeping bags and camped out in Maura's huge basement. Now they were all sitting around in their PJ's, listening to the rain and thunder and being bored.
"I've got an idea," Kristin said. "Let's act out a part from my Lord of the Rings book."
Kelsey shrugged and stood up. "I don't know where that came from, but okay! Which part?"
"Uh......" Kristin flipped through the book and stopped around the middle. "Ok, how about this? Moria, right before Gandalf dies, ok? I'll just be...... erm...... I dunno, Gandalf, I guess."
Maura squealed. "OOHH! If we're going to be cross-dressing and being guys, then I wanna be Frodo!! He has purdy eyes....." She dreamily smiled. Kristin hit her in the head with the copy of Lord of the Rings.
"Stay focused, Frodo obsesse!"
"HEY!" Maura tackled Kristin and they wrestled on the ground. Kelsey watched mildly, but then noticed the copy of Lord of the Rings. Its pages were blowing about, as though in a high wind, and an ice blue aura light was surrounding it, pulsing gently.
"Uh......guys?"
Kristin and Maura looked up from killing each other.
"What?" They both asked.
"I think something's wrong with the book......"
The three girls watched in amazement as the book suddenly snapped closed, and then lay still.
"Well, it was different a second ago......" Kelsey muttered.
"Right..." Maura said, as her eyebrows rose disbelievingly.
"You don't believe me?" Kelsey accused angrily.
"Would it hurt you if I said yes?"
Kelsey ignored her and looked at Kristin.
"Er...hold that thought... I've got to... go to the bathroom..." Kristin hurried up the stairs and into the bathroom.
"CHICKEN!" Maura called after her.
"Yeah right, Miss I'm-Too-Scared-To-See-Any-Scary-Movie-Because-I'll-Get-Bad-Dreams!"
"HEY! JUST BECAUSE MY BROTHER SCARRED ME FOR LIFE WITH JURASSIC PARK AND MY DAD SCARED THE POO OUT OF ME WITH THIS ONE CREEPY MOVIE I ACCIDENTLY WATCHED WHEN I WAS SIX DOESN'T MEAN I'M SCARED OF ALL SCARY MOVIES!"
"Yeah right," Kristin grinned, looking down at her. "You were too scared to see all of Titanic!!!"
"Hey," Maura shouted, hands on her hips. "I watched ALL of it last week, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! And I can't say I was missing anything! Leonardo diCaprio sucked in that movie, and it should be rated R since Rose gets nude!"
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight..." Kristin said, walking into the bathroom.
"You refused to see all of Titanic?" Kelsey asked Maura, trying very hard not to laugh. Maura glared at her, and rolled her eyes.
"Well excuse me if I don't like to watch a bunch of people die in icy cold water and not be rescued for six hours......"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Kristin ran out of the bathroom, screaming madly. She jumped the five steps that led from the ground and top level for the basement, and then dived behind the bar, still shrieking.
"What?" Kelsey asked, leaning over and looking at Kristin. "Did you see a spider?"
"NO!" Kristin yelled, her head peeking out from the bar. She pointed at the bathroom. "ARAGORN WAS IN THE BATHROOM!!!!"
Maura and Kelsey burst out laughing.
"I am so freaking serious!" Kristin screeched, pointing a shaking finger at the bathroom.
"Right," Maura said, wiping away tears of mirth. "And I suppose Arwen is with him?"
"No," Kristin said. "But I thought I saw Gandalf....."
She looked between them.
"You've got to believe me! Why would I make it up?"
There was a sudden, loud thump. Maura jumped, startled.
"It's them!" Kristin hissed. "Go! Go and see!"
Kelsey walked up the stairs, warily. Maura called after her,
"Kelsey, don't listen to her. She's trying to fool you."
"I am not!" Kristin wailed.
Kelsey paused, thinking, and turned to Kristin.
"If this turns out to be a joke, I'm going to wear your ass for a hat."
With that having been said, Kelsey went to the door.
The door was closed, but they could hear muffled men' voices.
"Where are we?"
"I don't know ... where do you think we are, Legolas?"
"LEGOLAS?!" Kelsey whipped the door open.
Gandalf, Aragorn, and Legolas were standing around the toilet and sink, kind of squashed because the bathroom was so small.
Kelsey screamed loudly, and slammed the door shut.
Maura was at the stairs, staring at her, her face very pale.
"Was that...." She trailed off.
Kelsey nodded. "I think it was."
Cautiously, and with a shaking hand, Kelsey peeked inside the bathroom once more. The three dwellers of Middle Earth were still standing, and staring at her.
"Who are you?" Gandalf inquired, squinting at her.
"Kelsey. I'm Kelsey." She said hastily.
"Are you the master of this house?" Gandalf growled.
"No, she is."
Kelsley turned, but Maura was gone. Kelsey leaned over the guardrail, and saw Maura huddled behind the bar with Kristin.
"Get your ass up here," Kelsey hissed to Maura, who's eyes were rather big.
Maura got up, went up the stairs, and stood before Gandalf, shaking in fear.
He peered at her over his large eyebrows, "Are you the master of this house?"
"I....I....I...." Maura stammered, looking terrified.
"SPEAK!" Gandalf boomed, raising his staff threateningly.
Maura fainted dead away, and crumpled to the carpet with a loud, earth-shaking "thump".
"Maura!" Kelsey cried, dropping to her friend.
There was a sudden stomping of footsteps on the stairs. Somebody was coming. Thinking fast, Kelsey picked Maura up and shoved her to Aragorn.
"Here, take her!"
"But, I –"
"DO IT! And shut UP!" Kelsey hissed. She slammed the door shut. "Kristin, come here!"
Kristin came.
Nick, Maura's older brother, opened the basement door. Behind him was his girlfriend, the Italian Mafia Princess Lora.
"What's going on down here?" Nick snapped to Kristen and Kelsey. "Where's Maura?"
"In the bathroom," Kristen said swiftly, though she was pretty white.
Nick banged on the door.
"What are you doing in there?"
"What do you THINK she's doing?" Kristin asked, irritated.
"Shut up!" Nick turned to her. "I meant what you were doing before!"
"We were..." Kristin faltered.
"Wrestling," Kelsey said quickly.
"And Kelsey had me in a headlock." Kristen added. "And I screamed. A lot."
"Right..." Nick said sarcastically. "Well keep it quiet or else a certain RED HEAD is going to get hurt."
Nick and Lora went back upstairs. Once the door had slammed shut, the bathroom door opened again. Maura had woken up, and was shooting shifty looks at Aragorn.
There were some noises from the "dungeon", which was in "Maura Speak", the small, garage-like storage room. Casey, Maura's dog, was barking, from inside her pen.
"Oh, God, what now?" Kristin muttered, hurrying to the dungeon. She opened the door. Casey was wagging her tail furiously, as well as sneezing every five seconds.
"What the hell?!"
Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin were standing around Casey's cadge, laughing and petting Casey, who was having a grand time.
"You there," Called Sam. "Who owns this fine beast?"
"Maura does," Kristin said, looking bewildered.
"Ah," Pippin said. "Where is this Maura?"
"Over there," Kristin pointed.
"What?" Maura asked angrily, storming over. Her mouth dropped open as she saw Frodo.
"NO WAY! NOT MORE! EEEKKK!!! FRODO IS SEEING ME IN MY NIGHTIES!" Maura ran out of the room.
"Would that be Maura?" Sam asked Kristin.
"Yeah......"
"Well, this animal is very great indeed! What is his name?"
"HER name is Casey, she's a dog."
"Ah... oh! Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas you are here as well?" Pippin asked.
Gandalf, Aragorn, and Legolas walked in. Kelsey was behind Legolas, babbling non-stop.
"How did we get here?" Gandalf asked.
"Well you're the wizard, you figure it out." Kristen snapped. Gandalf glared at her.
"You have no idea how much of a freaking shock this is to find you in the basement! I mean, I read about you in the books, and you were always my favorite character. I even dressed up as an elf to go and see the second movie, and Maura and Kristin said I was their Pennsylvania Dutch cousin, which was completely absurd of course, but still –" Kelsey rambled on.
"Shut up, Kelsey." Maura said, smacking her around the head as she ran in, now dressed in a robe over her PJ's.
"Hi Frodo," She said nervously, running her fingers through her shoulder-length red hair.
"Hello," Frodo said, oblivious at how scared and twitchy she was.
Kristen sighed. Apparently, since she was the only sane one here, she would have to take charge.
"Ok, Gandalf," Kristen said in a business like way. "My name is Kristin, that's Kelsey," She pointed to Kelsey. "And that's Maura. This is her house you are in, which is in California."
"Where is California?" Gandalf asked- his caterpillar eyebrows furrowed.
"It's a state in America,"
"What's America?"
"Never mind.... but why are you here?"
"I don't know," Gandalf said distractedly. "The last thing I remember was running from the Balrog in the Mines of Moria..."
Kristen's mouth dropped open.
"No way..."
"Way?" Aragorn asked.
"Yeah, way, I mean, no way!"
"You're confusing me." Aragorn said. Gandalf nodded. Kristen sighed and looked over at her friends. Kelsey was still babbling at Legolas, and Maura was still saying half formed words to Frodo. The rest of the Hobbits had walked off, exploring the basement.
"Hey!!" Kristen yelled, running downstairs to where Merry was trying out the treadmill and making it go way too fast.
"Don't do that!"
"Sorry..."
"Sam!" Sam was pigging out on the Cheese-Itz they had left out.
"Sorry...."
"PIPPIN!!!" Pippin was looking in the fridge and pulling out about ten Budweiser's and trying to chug them down all at once.
"Sorry...."
"Maura!!! Kelsey!!! Legolas!!! Gandalf!!! Aragorn!!" Kristen said loudly. "Get your butts down here!!!!"
They were down there in five seconds flat.
"What?" Maura said, taking her eyes off Frodo for the first time.
"Guys," Kristin said, walking over to Kelsey as she talked and slapping her.
"OW!"
"Guys," She continued. "We have a problem,"
"Heck right we do," Maura exclaimed "What if Nick comes down here again?"
"Exactly," Kristen agreed. "So we've got to get all of you back to the book."
"Let's look at this on a very weird and different way......" Kelsey said. "We've got four shorties who should be singing "We Represent the Lollipop Guild", a badass soon-to-be-king guy, an old wizard guy, and hot blonde elf."
"Sounds about right," Maura said.
"See, I have it all figured out!" Kelsey cried.
"No, you definitely don't..." Kristin rolled her eyes. "And this is why I get to tell you what to do."
"Why do you always have to be the brains?" Whined Kelsey teasingly.
"'Cause I'm the only one who doesn't have a crush on any one here." Kristen snapped, hitting her with the Cheese-Itz box. "Pay attention!"
"Gandalf," Maura said, turning to Gandalf. "Do you think you could take you and your friends back to Moria?"
"I doubt that." Gandalf said sadly.
"WHY NOT?! AREN'T YOU A WIZARD?!" Maura yelled angrily.
"I am, indeed," Gandalf said coldly. "But I do not know how to handle this situation."
"Wizards..." Maura muttered, flopping on the couch. "I swear, a ragingly drunk Saddam Hussein would be easier to talk to..."
Everyone stared, except for the hobbits, whom were looking around still. Frodo walked over, also looking around, and Maura smoothed her red hair nervously.
"Hi," She said in an oddly high-pitched voice.
"Hello," He said, grinning, still oblivious.
"Hi,"
"Er...greetings."
"Hi,"
"Ok, Maura," Kristen said, coming over and dragging her friend off the couch. "Why don't you go and get Kelsey's er...Ritalin?"
"She's on Ritalin?"
"No... but Frodo doesn't know that..."
"But I don't wanna leave!"
"You're making a fool of yourself!"
"Am not!"
"Look, we need a plan!" Kristen snapped. "So get away from Frodo and talk with me!"
"Well my plan is to have as much fun as possible!" Maura said stoutly, beginning to walk back over to Frodo.
"I meant what we're going to do with these guys!!" Kristen snapped. The clock struck one. Kristen sighed.
"Why don't we just figure it all out in the morning?" Kelsey suggested.
"Yeah... Ok! Gandalf, you grab a blanket, you're sleeping on the winding couch with Aragorn." Kristen yelled over to them. They both nodded and grabbed blankets.
"Pippin, Merry," Maura yelled over. "You two go and sleep up in my Dad's office."
They both walked upstairs.
"Frodo, Sam," Kelsey called. "You guys go over to the pool table." They both shrugged and walked off.
"LEGOLAS!" Maura, Kristen, and Kelsey yelled at the same time. Legolas was messing with the darts, aiming at random targets. He had already broken a few of the beer glasses.
"Yes?" He asked.
"Put. The. Darts. DOWN!!!" Maura yelled.
Legolas put them down quickly, looking very scared.
"Ok," Kristen said, "sorry, Kels, but he can't sleep with you."
Kelsey pouted.
"He can go and sleep in the vault." Maura suggested.
"YOU WANT TO LOCK HIM IN, DON'T YOU?!" Kelsey screamed at her.
"It doesn't lock, stupid," Maura snapped.
"What's the point of having a vault if it won't even lock?!" Kristen asked her, giving her friend a weird look.
"Good question..." Maura pondered this for a minute.
Legolas just shook his head and went up to the vault.
"Keep the door open, just in case!" Maura called after him.
They all snuggled into their sleeping bags, then turned out the lights. Unable to sleep, Kelsey took the Lord of the Rings book and opened it. But instead of finding the story, she found some writing in fancy gold letters.
From a land of magic
A thousand years old
The weary travelers shall come
And their story shall be told.
From the land of humans
The chosen few shall walk
Aided with new abilities
Their quest will be straight
Kelsey stared at it, bewildered. What could it mean?
Review. Peas and rice!