"You would think at least, dieing wouldn't hurt." Harry says one day. Lupin looks at him, brows together, concerned about why Harry would be thinking about death. "Why do you think that?" Lupin asks looking over at Harry fondly, who was bending over to pick something shiny off the floor.
"A lot of things in life hurt you, you know?" Harry says, not looking at him. Never looking him in the eyes. Almost as if he's scared he might see the answers he's always somehow been looking for in Lupin's eyes.
"A lot of things hurt." Harry Repeats, turning over the knut he had just discovered. "Like, falling off your broom." Harry says watching the small piece of money shine in the sun. "Watching your friends grow up and move on...it hurts..." Harry tells him. "Maybe not in the same way falling off a broom does, but it still hurts, Right?" Harry asks, still unable to look at Lupin.
"Of Course . Those things both hurt. Just in a different way. "Lupin says. "Some scars are visible and others are not. "Lupin tells him. Harry sighs and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Why would something, you can't see, like....that stupid pain, from watching someone get hurt...or killed..." Harry swallows carefully, "Hurt more....more then something you can see? Like...being hit or something?" Harry asks , kicking the ground angrily.
Lupin's says nothing. Because he's not sure if Harry wants an answer or not. "But...what I was saying before," Harry says ; "Everyone experiences pain, and then they die. And it hurts then too. So what is life? Just a bunch of situations put together to cause people pain?!" Harry asks voice raising slightly.
Lupin looks out the window, where the sun shines brightly . "Life is not only pain filled , Harry. Do not have Happy memories as well , as bad ones?" Lupin says . Harry snorts softly.
"More bad , I can assure you." Harry says dryly. Lupin smiles and moves a bit closer instinctively . "I'm sure." Lupin says.
Harry sighs , and straightens carefully , looking out the window, where the sun , was indeed shining. Even though people suffered ; and People died. The sun shined, and that must mean , that people somewhere were happy.
"Are your memories Happy ? "Harry asks. Lupin looks up, to see, for the first in too long, the green of Harry's eyes. Lily's eyes . "Happy . Bad. Equal amounts of both I suppose. " Lupin admits to him.
Harry looks away, to soon for Lupin's liking.
"I hope people are Happy after Voldermort dies. ....even...even If I die too...I just think it's about time everyone was happy. Too much, pain and stuff...you know?" Harry whispers, looking at his shoes.
Lupin walks over to the younger wizard and wraps a comforting arm around his thin shoulders. Harry stiffens for a moment and then relaxes. There was too much pain to not give into some comfort along the way.
Lupin looks at Harry, who stares ahead out the window, and says something, just so Harry knows, he does understand.
"I know." Lupin says.