All pleasure. All gory. Very funny. Sequels Unacceptable.
We begin on a stormy Halloween Eve's Night in 1998. A man was being chased down the road by a blue 50s Cadillac.
The man ran to a gas station. Right then, another car ran him over.
A sign where the gas station was read "THEY'RE GONNA KILL US ALL!"
"Fuck this shit!" shouted a woman that wore a shirt that said I Love Michael and a picket sign. "Where's Michael Myers!"
"Here I am!" said Michael Jackson and started dancing.
"I said Myers!" shouted the girl and hit Michael Jackson in the face with a shovel.
A TV commercial played.
Three masks rocked side to side. There were a green pumpkin, an orange witch and a purple skull.
The girl stood in confusion as she saw three women wearing the masks and hitting each other in the head with chairs.
A few hours later, a woman was talking to a doctor at the hospital.
"I'm Lelly Berry." she said. "Mr. Berry was my father. I was hoping you could help me out and investigate what's really going on here."
"I'll tell you what's going on!" shouted the Michael Myers fan. "I want Michael Myers back!" she shouted and her mob charged chasing them to the doctor's car.
A few hours later, they came to the town of Clause Vira, Colorado and pulled into a hotel parking lot.
In the hotel.
"We're here to buy a room." said the doctor.
"And you are?" asked the hotel manager.
"Dale Challie and Lelly Berry." said the doctor.
"Do you guys want a tour?" asked the hotel manager.
"Sure." said Dr. Challie.
"Yeah." said Lelly.
Tour.
"I'm Reffis Currie." said the hotel manager.
They went past a black door.
"Nobody stays in that room." said Mr. Currie.
"Why?" asked Lelly.
"Some guy with a hook." said Mr. Curie. "I don't know why they hate him."
They passed another door. That one was red. It flung open.
"Chilli, help me!" screamed a hippie being chokeholded by a huge man in a hockey mask.
"Who's that?" asked Lelly.
"Mason the electrician." said Mr. Currie. "He kind of plays too much violent video games."
They moved on to the backyard.
There was a factory there.
"The town's prosperity comes from this factory." said Mr. Currie. "A Swedishman named Curt Kovall owns this factory. The majority of this town's population are descendants of Swedish immigrants."
"Oh." said Dr. Challie.
"Look girls! It's stupid Ms. Berry, Dr. Challie and Mr. Currie!" said the Michael Myers fan. "Let's burn 'em alive!"
"Yeah!" shouted the rest of the mob.
"Hi." said some old guy. "I'm Dr. Sanuel Pleasance with my assisstant, Nory Curtis. I'll help get them off your back."
Dr. Pleasance help up a magnum and all the Michael Myers fans held up pistols and shot then killed Dr. Pleasance and Nory.
The fans chased the three off.
Night.
Two guys in car mechanic suits ripped a guy's head off with their hands and then one's eye fell to the ground. Another guy started bleeding and their blood dripped to the ground. They started making gory musical beats and danced to Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi.
"Who is Michael Myers?" Dr. Challie asked Mr. Currie who then shot him in the chest.
Lelly screamed and Dr. Challie got back up.
"Owww!" he shouted.
"Sorry." said Mr. Currie. "Michael Myers appeared in Shaddonfield, Indiana in 1981 and will appear within the next five years."
"Oh." said Dr. Challie and turned on the TV to the Golden Leaf commercial.
(In a heavy metal tone) "One more day 'til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. One more day 'til Halloween, Goldenleaf!"
"My father stayed in this hotel when he came here on October 23rd." said Lelly.
"What was he doing here?" asked Dr. Challie.
"He worked for Silver Shamrock." said Lelly. "But on the 21st, he found out about what they had been doing and they chased him for two days back to They're Gonna Kill Us All! Gas.
The next day, there were some new guests: Mary Stevens, the shop owner of Gutt; Muddy, Bessy and Muddy Furcup, Jr. work at Golden Leaf.
A butler came in at dinner time with four Golden Leaf masks.
Mary, the Furcups, Lelly and Dr. Challie were at the table.
The butler shoved the masks onto the Furcups and Mary and they suffocated to death.
"Wow." said Lelly with big eyes.
"More food to ourselves." said Dr. Challie. "Let's dig in!"
"With a shovel!" shouted a Michael Myers fan.
"Not again!" said Dr. Challie and got up.
"I want to eat my fuckin' meatloaf!" shouted Lelly.
Later, Challie and Lelly toured the Golden Leaf factory and acted like they suspected nothing. Challie and Lelly saw Mr. Berry's car by the factory building. Three men in car mechanic suits guarded it.
"Oh my god!" cried Lelly. "That's my father's car!"
Dr. Challie and Lelly ran back inside the hotel and tried to contact the town they came from.
"Why the hell isn't this phone working!" shouted Dr. Challie.
"Because it won't reach outside of Clause Vira!" shouted Mr. Currie.
"How many times do we have to run you off!" asked a Michael Myers fan.
Another fan grabbed Lelly and beat Dr. Challie in the head with a lead pipe.
Dr. Challie woke up in the factory surrounded by men in car mechanic suits.
"That's it! Back away from them!" said a man with crazy hair, glasses, a white trenchcoat and a crazy/evil look on his face.
"Who are you?" asked Dr. Challie.
"Who am I!" he shouted. "I'm Curt Kovall. The brains behind the evil. These guys are androids created by me. The thrills of seeing people killed from the Golden Leaf masks created out of Samhain and witchery will be unleashed tonight! The Golden Leaf trademark contains a computer chip with a part of Carhenge. The TV commercial will play and suffocation will belong to the mask wearer."
"That's not happening!" shouted Dr. Challie and escapes with Lelly. "Get gasoline!" he said to Lelly.
"What do you think this is?" asked Lelly. "Some future Friday The 13th and Nightmare On Street crossover and we're blowing up Crystal Lake?"
"No!" shouted Dr. Challie. "Just do it."
They poured gasoline all over the place and threw matches down, then escaped from Clause Vira.
They made it just in time to They're Gonna Kill Us All! Gas.
"Listen, you've gotta shut the commercial off!" said Dr. Challie. "Lives are at stake!"
"Yes sir!" said the TV station's lead guy.
Then, Dr. Challie called TNN.
"Listen carefully!" said Dr. Challie.
"Is this a joke?" asked the guy.
"No!" shouted Dr. Challie. "Just shut off the Golden Leaf commercial!"
"I can't do that sir!" shouted the guy.
"TURN IT OFF NOW! STOP THE FUCKING THING! STOP IT!" Dr. Challie shouted.
"Aww, shut up!" shouted a Michael Myers fan and hit him in the head with a shovel.
THE END...
...OR IS IT?
-Alternate Ending-
Dr. Challie was driving up the road when Lelly slowly pulled out a gun and pointed it at Dr. Challie.
"Lelly, what are you doing?" asked Dr. Challie.
"I'm really an android and my name is Andy Roydd!" said Lelly. "Have a nice sleep MUTHAFUCKA!" she said and shot him in the head, killing him.