He was on top of me and I knew a thousand words to keep him there. The thing with Adrian really wasn't love was it? I felt a raw edge with Dimitri. Adrian was using me as a crutch but yet he showed me affection and love the whole time. Dimitri loved me and when he was turned back from being Strigoi he refused me. He said some hurtful words and now I could have him back. But did I really want that? Yes, I felt love and I cared for him, but if something happened again he could shove me away. Adrian was always there and never denied me anything. When I left the Academy he supplied the money, no questions asked. Dimitri would have asked questions and pried into it. Adrian at least trusted my judgment.
"Love fades, mine has" Little words that tore me apart. I went to the bottom of the earth for this man. He never once said thanks or appreciated it. I risked my life for him, left Lissa for him. In the beginning he kept shoving me away. Well now he wanted me? After everything that was said and done he thinks that I can just welcome him back in my arms? I love him and I burn for him. I just cant do that to Adrian. His mother Princess Daniella was okay with me and her son together. Dhampirs and Moroi relationships usually don't last long. She wasn't worried that me and Adrian were going to get married. So why not wait til we fell apart and than go after Dimitri. I just cant hurt the ones I love. Its not the same kind of love, but in the same essence regardless.
His long hair hung in my face and in my heart I knew this was wrong. He said once that he wouldn't take another mans woman. Well I really was starting to doubt that. It would be so simple to just give in to him, but I was not that kind of person. I pushed him away from me and stood up. "You know I love you, but I cant do this. There's many things that could go on right now, and this isn't one of them." He looked at me with a tiny bit of surprise but than moved to sit in the chair. I could tell his eyes were on me yet I took no notice. I love him but I just couldn't do this to Adrian. I laid on the bed by myself and tried to fall asleep. That's the only place I could be with my boyfriend now. Since I was on the run for murdering the Queen. Which was entirely untrue, I was framed.
I was pulled into the dream. I stood in a garden of sorts. It reminded me of Sonya Karps garden back at her old house when she had been a Strigoi. "Little Dhampir." I rushed to him and put my arms around him. I loved the feel of him in my arms. Even though it wasn't the same burning fire it was still love. "I missed you." He smiled and kissed me. "I usually hear that a lot. " I pushed him away and folded my arms. "You know I am joking." "I know, I just wanted to see how you'd react." He pulled me back to him and I let him. I just couldn't bring myself to hurt him. He had always been there. Maybe in time our love would be just like what I had with Dimitri. If not I could always go back.