Teddy's Day Out
"I don't think this is such a good idea anymore, Ana. Maybe we should wait a couple more weeks."
"Did you check the baby bag, Christian?" She is completely ignoring my concerns.
"Ana, I don't think he's ready yet, we can go for a walk in the garden. Please, can't we just walk around the meadow?" There is panic in my voice, I don't even want to conceal it. Ted is only just two weeks old. I am not ready for my son to be exposed to strangers, to an open, unsecured environment. No, I must keep him in a setting where I have control of his safety. This is not happening.
Ana picks up Ted's grey blanket where it rests on the dresser, she drapes it on her forearm, and walks calmly towards me. "We've talked about this remember? Ted has been outside before, he loves it. Never fusses. I think it will be good for him, for us, to have some time out of here. We haven't left since Ted's birth, everyone has come to us." She is imploring me to see this from her point of view.
I hear her words, they make some sense. It would be nice to be out of the house, but her desire to go for a walk in the park on the way is what I am having trouble with. If we were just taking Ted to Elliot's house I would have been more amenable. "We will have our CPOs with us, Christian. Three army trained men and you will be enough to protect us for an hour's walk. Please, it would mean so much to me." And I know I don't stand a chance, not when she begs me with that look in her eyes. I know I will concede, despite my better judgement.
"For you," I sigh my consent, and Ana squeals and jumps up to kiss my cheek. This woman has me wrapped around her little finger, and she knows it. "But," I add a condition to give me some of the control I need, "I am wearing Ted's body wrap, no stroller." To my surprise, Ana is delighted with this.
A soft little sound calls for our attention, Teddy is awake. No doubt that it was Ana's school girl squeals that did the trick. We both rush over to Ted's crib, and I bend to pick him up in my arms. It is crazy how in just two weeks he has grown so much, he weighs a little more now too. But I sure hope that this growth spurt doesn't last long, I love my baby boy just like he is now, and can't imagine him any bigger.
"Hey Teddy boy, did mommy wake you?" I place a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"Sorry son, but it was time to get up," Ana defends herself, "we have a big day planned! Would you like to go for a walk with Daddy and Mommy? And then we'll go to Auntie Kate and Uncle Elliot for lunch, how does that sound?" Ana speaks softly about our plans for the day to our son, cupping his head right above where my hands are holding him.
Theodore demands his food very shortly after waking up as he begins to fuss, and I pass him on to his Mother.
"Hush, my sweet boy. Are you hungry? Let's go take a seat and take care of that rumbling tummy of yours, eh?" I sit down on the brown love seat that's in Teddy's room, and drape my arm over Ana's shoulders drawing both her and Ted close to me. She unbuttons her shirt halfway and snaps open the soft blue nursing bra that she's wearing to free her breast and gently guide it to Teddy's mouth.
Watching Ana breastfeed Teddy has become one of my favourite things to do now. And it is nothing to do with the sexiness of my wife's body - although that would be impossible to ignore... But it is such a beautiful thing to me, it's just as it should be. A mother caring for her son. His thin little lips close around her nipples and he begins to suck happily. Ted always latches on quickly, and has since day one, he is a very good eater, and I am a very proud father. I love that he is such a good eater. The whole process of breastfeeding calms me greatly, because I know that my son is being cared for and loved by his mother, and I know that Ana loves to do this just as much as I love watching her. It brings me peace to be here with them, holding them, sharing this intimate moment. Just the three of us, our little family unit.
My fingers gently play with Ana's hair while she feeds our son. And shortly after having changed to the other breast, Teddy's pulls become gradually slowed as he falls back to sleep again. During the day Theodore Raymond Grey is a great sleeper, and during the night he is a great eater. He is funny like that my baby boy, but I wouldn't have him any other way.
"You go shower and dress baby, I'll burp and change him." She places a now sleeping Teddy in my arms kisses both our cheeks, and stands to leave the room.
I prop my little buddy up on my shoulder, and begin to gently pat. Ana and I have found a technique that always works with him- pat, pat and rub a circle. After just two loops, Teddy burps. I continue my pattern and in no time at all Teddy has burped four times.
Walking over to his changing table holding my boy firmly in my arms, I gather all the equipment I need for his diaper change. Placing a sleeping Ted on the table, I begin to unsnap his little red onesie. The smell hits me before I've even opened the diaper and I smile remembering how hopeless and immature I was the first time I changed Teddy's dirty nappy. Crazy to see how much I've learned in the past couple of weeks, books can only help you so much, it is the hands on approach that has been the most educative.
Having prepared his new one right beside me, I unstick the tabs of his dirty diaper and use its front to clean as much of the poop off of him as I can and roll up the soiled nappy and chuck it in the dispenser at my feet. I then grab a couple of water wipes to gently clean off any remaining traces, and when I am pleased that his bottom is clean I softly pat some Johnson baby powder on his bum, and fasten a clean diaper on him. Teddy is clean and ready to go in no time and he slept through it all, I keep getting better and faster at this changing business, so maybe Ana was right that first time, I probably could change him with my eyes closed now, I mean I already do it half asleep every night…
I gently lower my son back in his crib to let him sleep a little more before we have to dress him and go. Opening his drawer, I set out to choose his outfit for the day. I select his purple onesie that has little cars running over the tummy area as it is one of his warmer ones, and also was given to him by his Uncle Elliot. I find a matching cotton hat, and also take out his light grey jumpsuit.
I'm glad to see that Ana isn't in the room when I go in for my shower. We have three weeks left to go before Dr Greene gives us the green light, and my God am I counting down the hours. Every single time I see so much as an inch of Ana's skin, I go out of my mind. But masochistic as I am, I crave those moments, I crave her touch and we've ended up dry humping several times. Ever since Ana gave birth, I have this new found adoration for her. I am completely amazed by what her body can do, it is a whole new respect that I have for the female anatomy. And I cannot wait to show her just how much I appreciate what she's done for us. But now's not the time to dwell on pleasurable thoughts, maybe a cold shower will help.
"Taylor, we'll be stopping at Greenlake Park for a short walk before we get to Elliot's. Drive carefully." I remind him, although I know that to mention it might offend him, but this will be only our second drive with Theodore, and I can never be too cautious. Holding the car seat in one hand, I open Ana's door for her and Ted to get in and then make my way around to secure the car seat.
"Christian," Ana begins with the sweetest voice, she's playing with Ted's fingers, "will you please calm down Ted will pick up on your anxiety. You've been fidgeting the whole ride." She's speaking as gently and pleasantly as she would to our boy, but the look she gives me is scolding.
"I know. Sorry baby." She smiles at me and reaches down into Teddy's diaper bag to pull out something.
"We're nearly here. There's Teddy's wrap. Shall I tie it for you?"
I unbuckle my seatbelt and she begins to wrap it around my torso, over my shoulders and finally ties it behind my back. When the car stops, she lifts Teddy out of his seat and slides him in the sling. With a gentle touch, I adjust him so that he is comfortably cuddled across my chest, his head against my left side. Having him this close to me will help reduce my trepidation over this walk a lot easier, it calms me a great deal to feel him breathing against my heart.
Taylor walks around to get Ana's door, and I step out into a warm May morning. Despite the fact that it's midmorning on a Wednesday, the park seems busy. Ana laces our fingers together and we begin to walk away from the car. She peeks in to see that our little boy is wide awake and adjusting to the bright outdoors, and I can't help but smile. Ted loves being outside, and I can't wait to go hiking just me and him when he's old enough.
After five minutes of casual walking, I feel a lot more relaxed about being out in the open, mostly due to the fact that I know Taylor, Sawyer and Reynolds are close by. The people that surround us are all enjoying their morning, be it with their children, friends or significant other and I feel so normal to be doing the same with my wife and son, it brings me great joy. I press my lips to the crown of Ana's head, and I'm rewarded with her gorgeous smile.
Everything about our relationship has been so hectic, always in the light of the media, and as soon as they found about Ana's pregnancy it seemed to get worse, we barely got to enjoy these casual outings anymore. And that is why Ana was so adamant about wanting to come here; we haven't really been outdoors since two weeks before Theodore was born because of the media. I've spotted a couple of paparazzi, but they've kept their distance to an acceptable extent that they won't get a good shot. I hope that all this attention dies down soon, I don't want my children growing up in the midst of this chaos, I want for us to be able to do normal things like a normal family. I sigh audibly.
"What is it Christian?"
"There are two of those leeches, on the path to our right, behind the trees." I explain simply.
Once she spots them, she quickly looks down at herself, uncertain and worried. "Do I look okay? This is the first time I'll be seen post birth! If I close the cardigan will it make me look thinner?" And that is exactly why I hate the press, they make the most beautiful women self-conscious. Even her post natal body is more beautiful than ever. I pull gently on her arm and bring her to a halt, and place both of my hands either side of her beautiful face.
"You look beautiful. You always do." Giving her a disapproving look, "we've talked about this Ana, I never, ever want you to be insecure because of those freeloaders. You are gorgeous, always have been, and always will be. And I'm not just saying that because I'm your husband." With two digits, I tilt her chin up, "I love you, and I love your body. And I hate when you doubt that." I close up the small space between our faces, my hand tangling in her long chestnut hair, and the other resting on Ted's tiny back. I press my lips to hers in the intent to give her the reassurance she still needs, but as soon as our lips meet I get a craving for more. Gently, I push my tongue to gain access into her mouth, and we share a slow, loving kiss right here in the middle of the path, in a park for everyone to see. I hope they get a good shot of this, and put that on their front page. CHRISTIAN GREY LOVES HIS WIFE. That is all the world needs to know about me.
We break off our kiss laughing when we hear a well-timed grunt seeping from the boy against my chest. "Well, he's had enough of that," she giggles and pecks my cheek. Our hands link, and we begin to stroll once more.
"I'll never have enough of you," I whisper salaciously into her ear, and I'm pleased to see the blood rush to her cheeks, even after all this time.
After a twenty minute walk into the park, we decide to turn and walk back for the other twenty. Ana was right, being out here, just the three of us was beyond wonderful! I loved it, the normalcy that it made me feel, calmed me immensely, and yes Teddy did not fuss for one moment. He is now sleeping soundly dreaming of trees, birds and shades of green. Ana is tucked under my left arm, her right hand in my back pocket, and her left holding on to mine which is hanging over her slim shoulders. She's playing absentmindedly with my ring twisting it one way, then another… she usually does this when she has something on her mind.
"So…" Her voice a little nervous, "I've been meaning to discuss something with you." I press my lips to her temple, encouraging her to continue.
"I know, I'm asking a lot here, but…"
"Baby, just say it," I tell her softly.
"Would you be able to take an extra two weeks off of work and stay with us?" She rushes out the sentence, as if it were the most unimaginable request. I would do anything for her.
"Okay." I kiss her temple again. And she pulls back looking at me, like I'm crazy.
"Okay? You're not even going to ask why?"
I shrug, "I don't need to. If you need me, I'll be there. Simple. Besides," I lean in to whisper in her ear, "I've been looking for an excuse not to go back in two weeks, and you've just given it to me!"
"But that means that you'd have taken eight weeks off! Two before Ted, and six after his birth. I wasn't sure you'd be able to. I wasn't really sure about asking that of you. But with Kate's wedding in four weeks, and me being her Maid of Honour, I would need you around to help me."
"I know, and I want you to need me. Always." She smiles shyly at me from under her lashes. "They can get by without me being in the office for the next four weeks, I can work from home for the important things, and Ros will keep me posted. I made sure that most acquisitions were finalised before Ted was born so my involvement, other than calls and emails, isn't obligatory."
"You really think of everything don't you?"
"I really do."
We're only a few feet away from the car, when Ted begins to fuss, scrunching up his face like he always does when he's hungry. We pick up from our slow pace to close the short distance to the SUV, I open the door to let Ana in, and briefly turn to Taylor.
"We'll be ready to leave in ten minutes." Code for "wait right here." I don't want any of them see Ana breast feed Ted.
I bend to get in, quickly taking a very hungry Teddy out of the wrap, and passing him to his Mommy's arms. She cradles him close to her, speaking softly while she unsnaps her nursing bra and pulls down her tank top, revealing her breast. And as expected, my boy latches on in record time, his crying completely forgotten.
"Eat up son, because we're going to have a lot of fun with Uncle Elliot very soon. And, there's a Mariners game on, you can sit with the men on the couch while the girls debate over colour schemes and forks." I joke, and Ana playfully swats me away. "What?" I snicker, "That's all you girls seem to do!"
"Well, someone's gotta plan this thing! I sure don't see you and Elliot putting in your two cents!"
"Ok, but take it easy baby, alright?" I'm serious once more, "I don't want you to stress over this, don't take on Kate's battles, you don't have to. We've had our wedding, this is theirs to stress over, ok?" My voice is gentle but firm, and I lean over the empty car seat between us to kiss her lightly on the lips.
"And what a perfect wedding it was." She murmurs against my mouth.
"That is was."
AN: I'll be back working on Baby Grey soon, I promise. Don't forget to follow the Instagram: my50fanfic Ted's nursery is up! Please Review!