…wow this is awkward. I meant to write a chapter of NaNo and it turned into this.

…enjoy?

(I don't own Sammy Keyes kthx.)

(This oneshot is especially effective in making you cry if you listen to Amnesia from the World Ends With You soundtrack.)

We Lost

I had only been in a wedding once before. That wedding had been a happy occasion.

This one? Everyone here may as well have been at a funeral.

The day before, I had been at the rehearsal, and everyone had just looked… grim. Not bawling their eyes out, happily or sadly. Just… stony-faced. I think I would have preferred it if they'd been bawling their eyes out—I could take the tears, but not that thick silence. The air was so hot and tense that I could have cut it with a knife, and the few people that were smiling included the bride and groom. Lost in their own world, they didn't notice how many people wanted to object to this wedding. They were too far gone into la-la-land.

My head was throbbing. I don't know why, but it was. Maybe it was because I was suffering a thousand deaths right now—melodramatic, but I felt like I wanted to shrivel up and die. Anything would be better than this.

The next day, it rained. My mom was upset, because come on, it was Santa Martina. It's always sunny here. As a last minute hope, I told her maybe it was an omen, but she just laughed it off. Of course.

Couldn't she tell not even the weather approved of this wedding?

The wedding march began too soon. I was determined to mess up this wedding, but as soon as I placed a single toe out of line, my mom snarled at me. That's right. Snarled. I didn't know she could snarl. It's just too crass a word to describe Lady Lana, but no, there she was, snarling at me like a freakin' Rottweiler. Hm. Lady Rottweiler. Interesting. The point here, though, is that she was now too wrapped up in her own wedding and our fights and her own self-righteousness that she just didn't care anymore. She didn't want to hear another word.

We headed down the aisle, and I just wanted to close my eyes and escape. I wanted to run away, but my mom was a cloud of insensitivity as always, raining misery and who knows what else on anyone who interfered with her life. The world didn't revolve around her, but she sure acted like it. She also acted like she was determined to make my world stop moving.

Normally, I never say die.

This time, I was raising the white flag.

There he was, at the altar. Warren Acosta. Her Warren, as Lady Lana snapped at me last night. They belonged together, she said. I'd just given her a disgusted look that said Oh really? And walked away, just like that, fuming.

They belonged together? What about me?

What about Casey?

Hadn't we met first?

And speaking of Casey, there he was, suddenly, standing on the side. His eyes were shut tight, and I knew that he, like me, felt sick. I wanted to throw up—my head was throbbing, my hands were shaking, and I was so, so cold.

He opened his eyes and looked as me as Lady Lana and her Warren stood on the altar.

I smiled sadly, and looked down.

At my shoes.

The last time I'd done this it'd been a happy occasion.

I looked down, and it wasn't little high-heeled fairy princess lavender shoes that poked out at me. They were white, flat, and somehow had a golden glow to them. Like the dress I wore, they were simple. Lady Lana had originally wanted me to wear pink, but thank God, Grams stepped in and told her she was already ruining my life enough. It was just adding insult to injury to make me wear pink to her wedding. My mom had rolled her eyes and thrown her hands in the air, which I might've laughed at once, but this was just too much. The "next best thing" was this, my mother said. She told me happiness would make this dress glow.

I definitely wasn't making this dress glow. In fact, I think I was killing any shine it might've had left. If anything, the golden glow was tinted with a weak, weary silver.

Right there in the chapel as the vows started, I prayed I'd wake up, but it wasn't a dream.

Finally, those magic words came. "Speak now or forever hold your peace." I prayed and prayed that someone would object, but my prayer was never answered. No one said a word. I knew my mother would brush off any objections, and Grams might have, but she had excused herself. She didn't want to see our world ending, because after this, it was no more Grams for me. I was to live with Lady Lana and her Warren in Hollywood, and Casey and Heather were to come with me. No more Holly, Dot, Marissa, Grams… everyone but Grams was sitting in the aisles, silent tears streaming down their faces. They weren't happy that my mom and Casey's dad were getting married. They were crying over our loss, our memories… it was like my funeral.

Everything was gone. Taken away.

Stolen.

As for Heather, she was standing beside me. A couple of months ago, when the wedding had been announced, we'd called a temporary truce to try and break our parents up. Both of our minds put together with Casey's, we'd been nearly unstoppable. We had almost succeeded. And then Lady Lana had figured it out and put a stop to it. Now, I think part of the reason they were still getting married was just to spite us.

Heather was in white glowing with blue. I think sadness drove that dress, because an almost ethereal blue light was surrounding her, and she practically looked like a goddess, which was unusual in my mind. We had actually managed to gain each other's trust… actually decided to make a permanent truce. There wasn't any hatred anymore… we actually respected each other. She understood now, and I understood her. It had taken our parents ruining our lives to see it, but we were a lot more alike than I had previously thought. Maybe that's why we share a birthday.

A lone tear fell down Heather's face. Her eyes were shut like Casey's had been, but not because she thought she was going to be sick—because she wanted this to stop. Everything was going too fast for her to comprehend, and she couldn't force it to a halt. Sure, we'd made a truce, but that didn't mean we were friends. We didn't want to be stepsisters. Heather didn't bother wiping the tear away, and I didn't give her any form of comfort. She wanted to be alone in her own thoughts, try and imagine the world away.

The instant the vows were finished and our parents were officially married, that was it. I felt strangely blank as the crowd politely clapped and a few people cheered weakly. Lady Lana was so happy that it could've been three people clapping and she still would've acted like it was a standing ovation.

The party went on and on, but I didn't smile, and I hardly spoke to anyone. Heather had retreated, probably into a bathroom somewhere to sit down and cry properly. I felt like I couldn't cry, or feel any other emotion ever again. I didn't want to—if I could stay unfeeling, maybe I wouldn't hurt so much over practically losing Casey. I couldn't do a thing about it, and if I couldn't feel anything toward everything I was losing, it wouldn't be so bad.

Who am I kidding. I was devastated on the inside, but the rest of me felt weirdly… calm. Cold. Distant.

It wasn't until the end of the night, when we were finally heading off to our new "home" that I finally found myself sitting next to my new stepsiblings, which made me cringe to think of. We were silent for several moments as I mulled over the day's events.

I don't think Lady Lana and her Warren will ever realize just what they've done to us. They're pulling us away from our lives and trying to make us into a big happy family, but they don't know that it will never work. They're the only ones who gain anything from this relationship. There weren't any winners tonight at this wedding except for them. We had all tried so hard to win, to prevent them from getting married, and when the game finally ended, we hadn't won at all. I remembered Marissa, Dot, Holly, all hugging me and trembling and crying… Grams was sobbing… Heather not crying in her usual drama queen way, but just silently and sadly… and Casey just looking helpless with some mixed emotion I couldn't read… God, help me, it was just too much.

I looked from Casey, to Heather, who had finally stopped crying and was sitting there numbly, staring at the floor of the car. I looked back at Casey, and he seemed to give me some message that I couldn't read with his eyes—was it just me, or had his chocolaty-brown eyes turned darker… grayer?

I was quiet for a long time as I looked at him, and looked back at Heather. She looked up at me, too, and we all just looked at each other for a while. I finally turned back toward the front and shut my eyes. After hours of cold indifference, an icy tear fell down my face as I whispered two words. My voice was soft, and tired, as if I just didn't care anymore. I knew right away that this would be my new voice from now on, and if it was the last bit of emotion I would ever show, the tear was fine, too. I didn't want to feel anymore. My new, soft, tired voice whispered those two words, and I felt my world go dark.

"We lost."