Dark Blood under the Moon, a harry potter fanfic

Dark Blood under the Moon

By Argentum.Canis

Disclaimer: Don't own anything beside the plot and the title of the story

Category: Drama/Romance
Sub Category: Mystic
Rating: M better save than sorry

Summary: This is my first attempt to write an English fanfiction so please be patient with me if I'm lacking grammar and spelling. The story goes along the sixth year of the Marauderers and tells about the special bond between Sirius and Remus. Should be SB/RL and I also want to warn you that it might contain graphical abuse

Chapter 1

What happened?

You gain strength, courage and confidence by

every experience by which you really stop to

look fear in the face. You are able to say to

yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can

take the next thing that comes along."

Eleanor Roosevelt

It's bean a Year now. Nobody has discovered my darkest secret, yet. Sure, my friends suspect something but that's all. Nobody really knows anything except for the teachers of course.

I should probably instruct myself to you. My name is Remus Jonathan Lupin. Yes, I know my middle name clashes terrible with my first name but what can I say my father wanted to name me after my grandfather. I'm a 16-year-old boy with brown hair and amber coloured eyes. I attend the Sixth Year of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry and have the best friends anyone can ask for, even if I don't deserve them.

Another thing that you should know about me is that I was transferred last year from the Beauxbaton Academy for Magic in France.

"Hey Remus, are you brooding again? Come on, it is wonderful outside," Sirius shouts through our dormitory.

Sirius is a dark haired, blue eyed boy with an aristocratically aura around himself. But that alone doesn't make him special, handsome yes but not special, or does it?

"Remus, are you coming?" He asks again through my curtains.

After the first time some one came into my bed space I was so embarrassed. James decided I took too long to dress and threw open my hangings. As I told I was in the process of getting dressed so my whole torso was exposed. It isn't that I'm fat or so no I'm skinny to the bone but my whole body is covered with deep, long and ragged scars. I hate it when someone stares at them. Since this incidence all my friends accept my personal space and stay out until they are asked to come in.

But back to Siri. He is the heir to the Black family and is in Gryffindor. His family isn't that fond of that little fact and he has a lot of troubles even when he makes it look like nothing is happening. I can smell his blood on him every time he comes back to Hogwarts after the holidays.

Now you might ask yourself how I'm able to smell blood.

I would like not to have anyone knowing what I am but I have to tell someone. Just one person I can confide in.

I, Remus Jonathan Lupin, am a werewolf.

I'm a werewolf since I was a five-year-old boy but that's for another time. Really If I don't answer now he will charge in because he is concern about my well-being.

"Are you ill? Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?"

Damn, he is already coming. I try to stand up but my legs are too tangled in the bed sheets.

Sirius pulls the curtain back and grasps.

I know I am not look well, as it was the full moon last night but it can't be that bad can it?

"Remus, what happened to you? I swear if it were again this bunch of Slytherins I will go and tell them what I think of their treatment of you. Why didn't you tell me or James that you were hurt, we could have gone to Madam Pomfrey and got you something against the pain."

"Siri…," I tried to interrupt

"Or at least we could have been there for you and comfort you. Rub some salve or other kind of potion into the scratches so they won't scar. Oh, sorry Remus, I didn't want to say that not that we wouldn't do it to prevent this scratches to scar but… ah, you know what I wanted to say, don't you?" Sirius asks in quite distressed manner.

Anyone who calls himself a friend to him can see he isn't doing well but out of self-doubt isn't saying a word. Sometimes I think that is just as if we would let him suffer alone.

"I know Sirius. Your mouth has that little annoying habit to talk on its own every time you are not thinking about controlling it. You should probably use an adhesive tape to close it and only take it of when you really want to speak."

Ah, now he is smiling again.

"Let me help you into bed. You don't need to stand up as it happens to be Saturday," he chirps up.

With that he laid me down, helped me out of my sheets and straightened them.

Sirius looks around if he can find any books within my reach but finding non he goes to my trunk to get me my favourite book 'Wolfsaga' by Käthe Reicheis as he knows I won't stay in bed without something intelligent to spend my time.

"Thank you, Siri," And I mean it.

It is comforting to know someone would care for a werewolf but they don't know what I am so perhaps I can't say they are taking care of one.

"It's OK. What are friends for if not to help each other?"

As he says that he looks down to the floor as if he knew he should confide in his friends too and is too ashamed that he couldn't do it.

"You know that this goes both ways."

"Yes, I know but there isn't anyone who would understand… I mean there isn't any reason for it. I best go down to James and tell him that you aren't well and wanting to sleep in. See you later. Ah, should I bring you food from the kitchen?"

"No, but thanks. Don't think I could hold down broth not to think about what this insane house elves will give you," I laugh.

Sirius shakes his head and goes down to the common room.

----- Sirius P. o. V. -----

I come through the curtain and see the new scratches and cuts and can't hold on my grasp. Who had done this to such a kind person like Remus.

Damn this is far to close to home.

I know this kind of injuries but to admit it would mean to admit that I know them from experiencing them myself. I am too ashamed of myself to do it.

Isn't it my own fault that I let him do it in the first place? Should I not suffer the consequences of my own stupidity by opening my mouth in front of them? It can't all be undeserved, it just can't.

Yes, that he has. And that at the most unsuitable times. I smile at my own silliness of thinking Remus would be mad at me and help him to lay down again. He is embarrassed I can tell but why I can't. Aren't friends supposed to help each other. Ha, as if I would look for help from my friends. He flinches at my touches. Does someone hurt him the way they hurt me?

I look around for a book and as I didn't find one I go over to his trunk and look there for his favourite. As I go through his things I notice as always that most of his things were either down-casts or of second hand. Sometime I wonder how he can afford the school books as they are quiet expensive in Hogwarts' curriculum. As I found the book by Käthe Recheis I give it to Remus and say:

"It's OK. What are friends for if not to help each other."

But I can't look him into the eyes as I say this because I know I don't tell them everything.

"You know that this goes both ways," he tells me but I can't believe it. They wouldn't understand my need to forget it ever happening.

"Yes, I know but there isn't anyone who would understand… I mean there isn't a reason for it. I best go down to James and tell him that you aren't well and wanting to sleep in. See you later. Ah, should I bring you food from the kitchen?"

No, I shouldn't have said that. Hope my distraction was enough to get Remus thoughts out of his track. If someone can figure me out it will be Remus but please let it be a little bit longer to the time he finds out the truth.

"No, but thanks. Don't think I could hold down broth not to think about what this insane house elves will give you," he laughs.

Shaking my head I go downstairs to meet with the others.

"Hey Sirius, where's Remus? I thought you told you would get him on your way down," says James.

James Potter is my best friend better says one of my best friends along with Remus and Peter Pettigrew. James is the heir to another pure blood family but his and my family normally don't get along. Again a reason my parents hate me so much. Choosing the wrong sort of friends.

James appearance was that of a tall skinny boy with messy black hair, brown eyes and black round glasses, which he seems to break on such a regular basis that Prof. Flitwick taught him how to repair them himself.

"Sirius, earth to Sirius, are you even with us?"

"Oh, sorry James. I was thinking about what I'm going to do to this damn Slytherins. I think they assaulted Remus again. He is up in the dormitory. I just don't know why they can't seem to let him alone, it isn't that we didn't make it clear to them if you mess with one of us you would mess with the other too."

"WHAT? They hurt Remus again. Is he all right? Is he in pain? Should we get Madam Pomfrey to look after him?"

"He claims to be just sleepy and asks to sleep in. He even refuses to let me get something to eat for him. Claiming he couldn't keep anything down."

"That is crap. Come we get him something and see how he does."

We go through the portrait hole or better say tried to do it as at soon James stepped out he was thrown back by a stout boy with short deep brown hair and watery black eyes.

Of course who else could it be as Peter.

He was struggling to get up and what I saw then made me crack over with laugher. Peter was hopping like a rabbit because he had a leg locking curse on himself.

"Pete, that is a first year curse sure you could have undone it before hopping all over James," I tell him.

"You know I have problems with this particular curse and Malfoy is a forth to recon with," sulks Peter.

"Come on Sirius, let Pete be a winy baby and hop up to Remus so he can reserve the curse," laughs James.

"But…"

"James, Remus is ill. Come here Peter."

I can't believe it yes, I tease Peter because his lack in spells and counter spells too but this is just too much. Peter tries to be better but he just can't help it. Sometimes I think his wand is not working for him but against him.

I cast the counter on Peter and turn to leave for the kitchen if Remus thinks I won't get him some light things to eat than he is sadly mistaken.

-----Remus P. o. V. ------

As I sit in my bed I think again over the conversation I had with Sirius. There was a puzzle piece I need to finish my puzzle but were was it. I am sure he let the last piece slip.

"It's OK. What are friends for if not to help each other."

"You know that this goes both ways."

"Yes, I know but there isn't anyone who would understand… "

There it is but 'argh!' what does that mean.

Come on Sirius, why must you be so damn complicated.

----- Sirius P. o. V. -----

As I am walking to the kitchen down in the dungeon I can hear a noise.

My friends always tell me to keep my nose out of thinks I don't know. However as I am a Gryffindor, I just jump into unknown situations.

So as I round the corner of the next corridor I find myself behind some Slytherins who are bulling a sixth year Ravenclaw girl.

"What are you thinking you are doing?"

"Black, get your arse out of here," one of them shouts.

"This is nothing of your concern, Black. Vanish out of my sight or your loving mother might get wind of that you are trying to protect mudbloods," Lucius Malfoy says.

I blench if my mother talks to Malfoy I'm domed.

"Oh, have I hit a wound point? To bad I don't care. Enjoy your time Black, as I will enjoy my time at the Black Manor in the hols."

Laughing he turns and stalks of with his two bodyguards.

Shaking myself out of petrify I get down and help the girl pick up her books.

"Thank you and I hope you don't get into to much trouble be cause of me."

She takes her books out of my hands, dips her head in greeting and leaves. Before she reaches the corner I call after her.

"Wait, what's your name?"

"Mary LaFay, sixth year, Ravenclaw prefect but as you have seen it doesn't count too much," she grins and runs up to the entrains hall.

Mary a beautiful name I think and continue my way.

"Sirius, are you OK?"

"…"

"I think he finally has gotten the last rest of his brain between his legs, James."

"Peter, even if I think, too, that Sirius can sometimes loos his ability to think when he sees a skirt, he would notice me, Sirius!"

"What…?"

"You spaced out on us, mate."

"Sure notice you."

"Shut it Pete."

"Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about the hols. Malfoy is going to stay at my mothers' house."

I quiver at the very thought of it.

"Malfoy at your house? I pity you Siri that will be your worst holiday ever."

"Thank you, Peter," I growl out and stomp up to our dormitory.

Why can't they understand that I don't want home if you even can call it that.

Running in I throw me up on my bed and cry.

I can't go home. Malfoy will do anything to get me be punished even more should he be allowed to take part of the punishment himself.

No one can understand what it means to be the Black family heir. All they ever look is the wealth and the high stand in society never ever at the person under the facade.

"Sirius, why are you crying?"

No, nobody has seen me cry.

"I… I… I'm not crying, Remus. D…d…dinner was just too hot," I try to explain myself to him.

"Yes, of course and that's why you are crying an hour after dinner," Remus says and climbs up to me.

He infolds me in his strong arms and squeezes.

"Tell me what is wrong," he insists.

But I can't.

"Can't. Please don't make me," I cry harder laying in his arms.

"Shhhh… I won't make you. Shhh… Your save," Remus murmurs comforting words to me.

And as I begin to sleep I can see the lines of an old poetry by Jill Zevallos – Solak.

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.

Don't be fooled by the face I wear.

For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,

Masks that I'm afraid to take off,

And none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature to me,

But don't be fooled.

For God's sake don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure,

That confidence is my name and coolness is my game,

That the water's calm and I'm in command,

And that I need no one.

But don't believe me.

My surface may seem smooth but my surface

Is my mask, ever – varying and ever – concealing.

Beneath lies no complacence.

Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.

But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being

Exposed.

That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,

A nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,

To shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation.

My only hope, and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance,

If it's followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,

From my own self – built prison walls,

From the barriers I so painstakingly erect.

It's the only thing that will assure me

Of what I can't assure myself,

That I'm really worth something.

I don't like to hide.

I don't like to play superficial phoney games.

I want to stop playing them.

I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me,

But you've got to help me.

You've got to hold out your hand

Even when that's the last thing I seem to want.

Only you can wipe away from my eyes

The bland stare of the breathing dead.

Only you can call me into aliveness.

Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging,

Each time you try to understand because you really care,

My heart begins to grow wings, very small wings,

Very feeble wings,

But wings"

With your power to touch me into feeling

You can breathe life into me.

I want you to know that.

Who am I, you may wonder.

I am someone you know very well.

For I am every man you meet,

And I am every woman meet.

----- Remus P. o. V. -----

It isn't always easy to take live in strikes after a full moon but if you can take the moon you can take earth with out a problem, my father used to say after each moon to keep me from giving up and up until today I have to give up.

Someone would think as werewolves never live long and because the discrimination we are facing, not that anyone would say discrimination, we are easier to give up on our dreams but not me. I have gone out of my way to become what I want, to become one day a healer at a magical hospital it doesn't even need to be St. Mungos but a small magical hospital is enough.

Whammm

That door is closed.

Who in their right stand of mind would throw this door that loud. Wait is there someone crying? It can't be Sirius, James or even Peter would cry in the dormitory as per rule.

I stand up to see who it is as I find the curtains around Sirius' bed closed.

So as not to startle him I ask.

"Sirius, why are you crying?"

Of course he denies it even as I can see the tear tracks down his cheeks.

"I… I… I'm not crying, Remus. D…d…dinner was just too hot," he tries to explain himself to me.

"Yes, of course and that's why you are crying an hour after dinner," I say in an attempt to lighten the mood and enfold him in my arms and squeeze.

"Tell me what is wrong," I insist.

It was heart breaking to see him struggle for words he didn't have.

"Can't. Please don't make me," And with that he just cries harder into my shoulder.

"Shhhh… I won't make you. Shhh… Your save," I murmurs comforting words to him and he begins to drop of.

What happened to you Sirius, what happened to you? I ask myself just before I too begin to sleep.

Thank you for reading and please tell me what you think of it.

 Canis 