Authors Note: Hey guys! Some of you may recognize this story. I wrote this a few months back and said I would continue it into a short story/series, but never got around to it. I've been having writer's block again for In the Presence of an Angel and The Sweetest Sin because both have major chapters coming up and I'm not sure how to write them. So I decided to continue this. Anyways, even if you have read up to Chapter 2 called Doors, please read again as I may have made a few changes. I'm almost done writing this story so I will be able to post faster. There's only going to be five or six chapters. Just a forewarning to those who have not read this story so far, it is a not-so-loving Laley story; there's lots of angst. Anyways, I hope you guys like it! As always, please read and review!
Disclaimer: I don't own OTH, the show and characters are property of the WB.
Rating: PG to PG-13
Chapter 1
When Everything Comes Crumbling DownHaley's POV
I tossed and turned in my bed, the sheets tangling around my legs; my brain and heart would not stop racing. A light sheen of sweat covered my body as I lay in bed and thought about what tomorrow would bring. Tomorrow, Lucas would be leaving with Keith to go to Charleston and I would be losing my best friend. Sleep would not take me this night.
I turned on my side to face the window, gazing out at the moon and stars as I contemplated my existence. I was nobody without Lucas Scott; I wouldn't be my usual happy, witty self… hell, I wouldn't be Haley James without him. He was a part of me just as much as I was of him, only now that didn't seem so true because he was leaving me.
I was scared of being alone, being without him. Sure, we would have phone calls and the occasional visit, but it wouldn't be the same, not like it was now. My world was quickly beginning to spin out of control and he wouldn't be there to catch me when I fell. I needed him in my life; more than just a phone call or visit could fulfill. I loved Lucas, as more than a friend, but I was scared. Scared that he didn't like me in the same way, scared that if we did pursue a romantic relationship and we broke up… that we wouldn't be friends anymore. And that, above all else, was what I didn't want.
However, there was a little twinge in my stomach and heart, pestering me to tell of my true love to him. My heart had never failed me in questing for its true desires and I knew I needed to tell him, especially now that he was leaving Tree Hill, leaving me behind. It was now or never; I felt as if I would burst from not confessing and would never have the chance to if I didn't tell him, tonight.
So even though it was obscenely late at night, I put on some shoes and quietly left my house in my cotton pajamas that had little ducks on them. I didn't care if I was seven or seventeen, those were by far my favorite pajamas; Luke had gotten them for me on my sixteenth birthday. I ran to his house and knocked frantically on the door that opened directly to Lucas' room. A few seconds later, I was rewarded with a sleepy Luke answering the door while rubbing his eyes.
After they had adjusted to the porch light, Lucas asked as he glanced at his watch, "Hales, what are you doing here? It's late and I have to get up early tom… this morning." As I was bent over with my hands on my knees breathing heavily from my run, I finally gasped out the words between breaths, "Don't go." "What," Lucas asked. I guess he didn't hear what I said, unless my request was so outrageous that he couldn't believe it. "Don't go," I said a little louder, "Don't go to Charleston." I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks as I looked up at him with desperate eyes.
He wrapped me in a strong embrace and replied, "Haley, we've talked about this; I need to go. I need to get away from all this… this drama. That's all my life is now and I don't like it. I need a change, to find my way back to who I once was. Things have been messed up so badly this year; Dan doesn't want anything to do with me, well that's nothing new, but Peyton and Brooke… I never wanted to hurt them and now they both hate me. Nathan… well, we didn't get along at first, but now we're talking a little now, but it's not enough…" "What about me, Luke, aren't I enough," I asked pleadingly with sobs choking my voice.
He looked down at his feet and shook his head silently then stared in her eyes, "I need to fix my life, Hales. Without anybody's help or I'll never fully get back to where I was before all this happened." I shut my eyes tightly to fight the pain burning inside me; he didn't want my help. Who better than I could help get him back to the Lucas Scott he used to be? I softly caressed his cheek and replied, "I guess I understand… I want you to know that I'll be waiting here for you when you get back… I love you, Lucas, that's why I came here tonight, to tell you that. You said you needed help fixing your life, finding the person you were back before you joined the basketball team… I just thought that I could be that person…"
I turned to leave, but then quickly pivoted on my heel and planted my lips on his then pulled away just as fast as I had leaned in. I didn't dare meet his eyes as I stared at the ground and wrung my hands in nervousness, waiting for a response. When nothing was said for another minute, I slowly lifted my head to glance at him, before averting my eyes once more. His expression was one of utter shock and his mouth hung open; he stood there not even saying a word. I could swear that if even a feather pushed against him he would fall over like a statue.
"Lucas, please say something," I begged him, tired of the uncomfortable silence I had put us in. "I- I don't know what to say… Um, I don't feel the same way. I mean, I love you, but just as friends and nothing more. I'm sorry." I stood there for a moment, dazed by what he had said. "Wow, there it is…" I said slowly as I tried to comprehend his words. There it was, the feeling of rejection I had always feared. Tears began to cascade freely down my cheeks like the Niagara Falls; our friendship would never be the same again; maybe it wouldn't survive this revelation. My heart and instincts had failed me; if I couldn't trust myself, then who could I trust?
He went to awkwardly hug me, but I pushed him away; it hurt too much to think that he didn't love me, but it would cause me even more torture to feel his arms around me, to try and instill some comfort in me, when he had just torn my heart into a million tiny fragments. I couldn't handle this, the heartbreak and pain, I had to get away. So I did the first thing I could think of, I ran. And on his doorstep, I left the crumbled pieces of my shattered life.