A series of soft beeps breaks Nick out of his half-asleep trance. He quickly rolls over and squeezes his alarming phone to break the noise. Silence once again hushes over the dark room. He takes a deep breath and lets out a long sigh before turning to his right to gaze at the silhouette beside him.
Jess clutches tightly to her white body pillow, her long dark hair spread out in organized curly waves. Nick's eyes follow the pillow as it curves down her body nestled under the now very pronounced bump that sits at her mid-section. He remembers the first time he woke up next to her. Being in complete awe as he felt her naked skin. Never could he have imagined that moment would eventually lead to this.
Gently caressing her cheek and feeling her hair with a few fingers she slowly opens her eyes. "Good morning, sweetie," he says. "It's time to have a baby."
Nick quickly gets out of bed and throws some clothes on before helping Jess up. "I'm fine you don't need to help me like that!" Jess exclaims as she slowly contorts her way out of bed. This has been the last two weeks for them as Jess has increasingly become more stubborn about her overall well-being. The situation reached a fever pitch when she started having episodes of high blood pressure, prompting three trips to labor and delivery prior to today's induction.
"Jess, you've done all you can do," Nick says as he gets together everything they have packed for the hospital. "You just need to trust your staff to hold down the fort while you are gone."
August wasn't the most ideal time for Principal Day to be having a baby. School was starting in a few weeks and she had been doing everything she could to make sure the school would be ready despite her prolonged absence. Nick wonders if that was what lead to the blood pressure issues.
Impending motherhood has been a point of anxiety for the both of them. Jessica always wanted to be a mother, but also loves her career. She wonders constantly how things will change once this baby is truly here. Will this kill all of the positive momentum she finally gained in her professional life? She is determined to make sure that won't happen. Not wanting to let something like a baby derail her or make her appear weak or at a disadvantage.
Nick has been holding it together for her the entire time. Deep inside he is scared. He never thought he would be a father; in fact, he's still surprised someone actually loved him enough to want to have that with him. He wants to be happy and excited, but he can't help but be apprehensive about the whole thing.
Despite the love of his life marrying him and continually believing in him, he constantly needs to exert so much energy to make any positive progress in his life. It's as if he always needs someone to hold his hand. He hates feeling that way.
Having a kid was only going to complicate those feelings. What the hell is he supposed to do with a kid? He hates kids. How the hell is he supposed to be a father? He had a terrible father. How is it fair to this kid that he has to deal with this loser as a dad?
It just didn't feel fair to him. Here was this kid who would now have to deal with Nick Miller as his father, already starting behind. He had been festering this frustration for months, so much so that he finally bought and hung a heavy bag in the basement. Every morning Jess would lay in bed listening to the soft vibrations the floor would make as Nick delivered a fury of strikes.
Nick takes a break. Sitting there silently as beads of sweat dripping down his face, trying to catch his breath, his hands throbbing. He squeezes his eyes shut and replays the same scene again and again. Her hands against his shoulders piercing him with her blue eyes, "Stop it Nick!" she screams. "I'm tired of you being the only one who doesn't see how incredible you are."
"You're incredible."
A nervous energy fills the air and they silently drive in the early dawn. Nick is particularly observant at this time, trying to take in everything about the moments, the smell of the air, and the brownish-orange of the sky. He glances over at Jess who is clearly doing the same thing, still very pre-occupied by everything. Their eyes meet and they quickly smile at each other. Nick takes Jess's hand in his and gives her a nod of assurance to which she replies with that look that says "thank you."
As they arrive at the hospital and get checked into their room Nick never leaves her side. Even when they have issues putting in the IV causing blood to squirt halfway across the room they laugh uncomfortably. Finally the nurse comes in to start the Pitocin. Nick squeezes Jess's hand and looks up at the clock: 8:30.
At first the contractions were small and light. Nick would play a game watching them register on the monitor while slowly stroking her hair. Deeply gazing into her eyes while they breathe in unison. This would soon be needed in the worst way.
A loud thud sound on the monitor was met with a yelp from Jess. "Oh my goodness! Did you hear that! It hurt so much!" Nick sprung to his feet,
"What was that?"
"It was him!"
A look of alarm and pain was quickly met with one of embarrassment. "What is it Jess?" Nick asked. Jess sighs and looks over at the ground, "I think I may have peed…can you help me up?" As Nick helps her out of the bed and towards the bathroom all is revealed, that wasn't pee.
Nick hits the call button on the wall "uh, yeah so I'm 95% sure my wife's water just broke." All of the sudden the nurse flies back in through the door "let me see here, oh wonderful it happened on its own, we are always worried we have to do it ourselves which is not comfortable." Jess looks slightly relieved. The nurse checks her and lets them know she is currently at 6cm before leaving.
Suddenly the contractions have gotten far worse which prompts Jess to contact the nurse again. The nurse bluntly states "oh yeah, once your water breaks that's when the real fun begins." A rush of intense pain and pressure overcame Jess as she gasped. Nick rushes to her side and takes her hand before intensely staring into her eyes. The two match their breathing and lock in on one another.
In this moment Nick is reminded of just everything he loves about her. Her strength, her courage, how whenever he was around her he felt like he could do anything. That look, evoked something within him, a primal protective instinct that he couldn't help. He really would do anything for her. He stayed by her side for the duration through her getting the epidural placed and then they were given a break.
Nick sat in the recliner across the room gazing at Jess as she slept. Still hooked up to all of the monitors. He noticed the fetal heart rate kept falling and then slowly recovering as the contractions ended. Another nurse came in and moved her to her other side and then left. Nick couldn't help but notice the heart rate drops continuing.
Jess gives Nick this puzzled look. Nick returns it.
"What's wrong," he asks.
"This shouldn't be happening," she responds.
"What do you mean?"
"I feel like, a lot of pressure. Almost like I need to push, but there's no way."
Nick understood her confusion, there was no way she was 6 cm just an hour ago, how could she be having those feelings? Never the less, they called the nurse who came in. She checked Jess again and then asked, "how long had it been since you were checked last?" "An hour," Jess confirmed. The nurse stood up and took her glove off and chuckled "well, I'm going to go get your primary nurse because you're ready."
Nick's eyes widened and he began pacing nervously around the room. Suddenly all of the calmness that had been the last few hours completely flew out the window. He began to stutter incoherent thoughts stopping every now and then to give an assuring nod to Jess while pointing and her and giving her a thumbs up. He was an absolute wreck.
This whole experience was going a lot faster than either of them bargained for. She was induced and this was their first and now you're telling me the entire experience will be done in a matter of hours? Nick finally manages to compose himself before coming back to Jess's side. "We're about to have a baby," he says nervously. They both laugh before Jess quickly quips back "well, someone in this room is having the baby anyway."
Immediately Nick becomes serious again looking deep into her eyes "you're going to do this, I'll be right beside you, I love you." Jess tears up slightly before returning the favor and then the main nurse comes back in.
"What are you doing? I was on my lunch break and all of the sudden you decide you're ready to have this thing?"
"Well, if there's one thing this baby has, it's impeccable timing," Jess responds.
The nurse takes a position on one side of the bed and Nick on the other. Jess begins a series of pushes each time being sure to take a break in between. Nick continues to stroke her hair while she catches her breath. This goes on for about 20 minutes while the nurse continues to monitor the baby's heart rate.
Suddenly the nurse abruptly tells Jess to stop. She reaches over to the call button and says "I need a resident in here we need to have a baby!" Suddenly Nick can see Jess start to panic, "what is happening," Nick asks. "I'm calling the resident in now to deliver the baby is right there and just decided to demon drop."
Before Nick could ask anything else twelve people scurried into the room with tons more equipment and began speaking in medical jargon that Nick couldn't understand. He tried to reach for Jess's hand but was pushed back to make room for two doctors that quickly placed an oxygen mask over her face. Nick looked around and back at Jess her eyes longing for him filled with tears. The doctors who now have Jess on all fours implore her to take deep breaths. One of the doctors says, "You need to breathe so the baby can breathe."
She complies and then the main doctor who is now seated at the foot of the bed Jess is in appears ready. "Ok," she says, "bring her back around." Jess is helped again onto her back and the doctor gives the command. "Ok Jessica, give me a really strong push right now!" Jess squeezes down with all of her might and Nick can't help but look down as the doctor quickly guides her figures around the head and then helps the shoulders and finally out comes a tiny human that is quickly placed on Jessica's chest.
Nick stands there, mouth wide open staring at this little thing he just saw come out of Jess. He is visibly shaking and small tears prick out of his eyes. Jess lays there and looks down at this small human laying on her chest and asks, "Where did this baby come from?" Without missing a beat the small baby makes a turtle face and begins crying. The doctor's cheer "congratulations!" Nick and Jess can't believe it. Suddenly they are staring down at a little boy. They cover him in blankets and rest him on Jess's chest. Nick takes a seat next to Jess again and smiles while brushing her hair. "You did it", he says, "I love you so much." "I love you too", she replies as she begins to cry as well.
The doctor hands Nick a pair of scissors and he cuts through the umbilical cord before they lay blankets over him again and keep him on Jess's chest. "Do you have a name picked out yet?" One of the nurses asks and without skipping a beat Jess responds "Sean Christopher Miller."
Soon all of the medical staff leaves and it's just the three of them again in the room. Nick hasn't left Jess's side since the birth. She sleeps with Sean still lying on her chest asleep as well. Nick looks at both of them and feels something that he has never felt before, a renewed sense of purpose.
He knows that he is always continuing to figure more and more things out about himself. One thing is for certain though, there are two people in his life now that he will do anything for and they are lying right in front of him. He wants to be the best man and father he can be for his son because he wants to give him what he always wanted growing up.
Then Jess, well, it goes without saying with her. It's always been her. Whatever happens going forward in life from now on, he knows it will be okay, because he has her by his side. He looks up towards the window to notice a rainbow in the distance. He thinks about waking her up but just takes her hand, remembering when she was the new girl and how they are now together with their new guy.