AN:/ Hey m'dudes, back for two updates in two days? I'll be writing more Harry Potter fanfics before I pick up Grey's and Criminal Minds fics. Anyway, this is dedicated to my friend who tried to help me write smut for this (it was terrible) and the song All This Time by OneRepublic. Enjoy :)
All this time we were waiting for each other.
All this time I was waiting for you.
We got all these words can't waste them on another.
So I'm straight in a straight line, running back to you.
Arizona had been lying in her bed for almost an hour and she still felt no desire to get up. Her alarm had gone off three times and she had all but throw it across the room to get it to stop. Her bed felt horribly empty without Eliza, and she was ready to cry. All Arizona wanted at that moment was to curl up in a little ball and cry. She wanted to hide her eyes behind her knees and play the game "if you can't see the monsters then the monsters can't see you". But, after a minute, she forced herself up off the bed and trudged into the bathroom.
After taking a shower and washing her hair, she felt a little better. She had a meeting with some high-up members from Hopkins today so she had to dress up. She wore a slim pencil skirt with her flesh-tone leg and a tight, low-cut(ish) black and white top. She applied her makeup more elaborately than she normally would and went to put in her diamond earrings. As soon as she reached a hand into her small white jewelry box, she found that the earrings weren't in there and she cursed. Her earrings were in the other jewelry box she kept in her closet. It was pink and heart-shaped, used when she was a kid. She kept little things that brought back memories. The bracelet she and Timothy used to pass back and forth as kids, the diamond earrings she wore to Derek's funeral, the necklace she and Callie used to wear. She bit her lip and decided to wear something else. Going into that box always brought back painful memories.
She searched her jewelry box for another pair of earrings, but discovered that the only other pair she had in there were a pair of flamboyant feather earrings that were all wrong for this type of meeting. Arizona contemplated just forgetting them but she knew she should wear her earrings because they held a sort of meaning to her, they brought happy thoughts (okay really, she secretly loved them because Callie got them for her). With a sigh, she closed the lid on the box and took a breath. She got the big pink box out of her closet and laid it on her bed. As she tried to sift through it, she let out a frustrated groan. She didn't have the time, patience, or emotional strength. Not today.
She dumped the box out on her bed and searched for her earrings. She found them under a stack of photos. She tried to move past them, but she saw a picture she couldn't move past.
The photo on the top of the pile was the one from the day that Sofia was released from the hospital, with Callie and Mark. She felt tears well up in her eyes as she remembered the last time she had Sofia. Last weekend, Sofia flew to see Arizona all by herself for the first time and she was so excited. She was back at Callie's house now.
The next photo was of her and Callie's wedding. Mark stood behind Callie, hugging her and Arizona stood next to them, her lips on Callie's cheek. The three of them, they were family.
All the rest of the photos were just as emotional-Sofia's first birthday and Christmas, Arizona and Callie's one year anniversary, and so on. Arizona felt herself grow closer and closer to crying.
Arizona forgot all about the earrings until she was about to leave, and by that time she was so close to being late that she didn't feel like going back through that box. She had put the wedding picture in the back of her phone case and knew that it was going to feel like a ton of bricks, but it was worth it.
If it was one thing Arizona prided herself on, it was the fact that she didn't pine over people. She didn't spend long hours awake at night, desperately wanting to be with someone. She didn't allow thoughts like that to take over her life. She didn't have room in her brain for it. She focused 110% of her thoughts and energy on becoming a better surgeon. She picked up cute girls from Joe's, but didn't start relationships. She allowed herself fun, but not enough to throw her off her course. So when Arizona, on the drive to work, couldn't get Callie Torres out of her mind, she wanted to bash her head into a brick wall. This wasn't her thing. This isn't what she did, falling for her ex. She didn't go after women who were taken.
The meeting with the board members from Hopkins went just as good as could be expected, and they immediately offered her an attending position at the hospital. She eagerly accepted it and she was set to start in 2 weeks. She decided she wouldn't sell her house in Seattle yet, she would just pack the necessities and rent an apartment. Arizona quickly packed up everything in her small office and got ready to leave. She only wanted to tell three people she was leaving.
The first person was Alex. He was one of her best friends, she thought she should tell him when she was moving across the country. She found him by a nurse's station, charting.
"Alex, I need to talk to you." She said and pulled him by the hand into an on-call room.
"Dude, are you going straight or something? You know I still love Jo, and I'm not having sex with you." Alex said, smirking. Arizona rolled her eyes.
"No, Alex. I'm not going straight or something. I like vagina just as much as you. You're one of my best friends and I feel like you deserve to know. Dr. Minnick got fired, and left." Arizona said. Alex looked confused.
"Arizona, everyone already knows that. Why would you need to tell me that?"
"Because she wasn't just Dr. Minnick to me. Eliza and I, we were, I don't know. More than just coworkers. More than just friends. And when she got fired, instead of being a grown-up and talking to me, she just left. And so now I'm all alone and horny and sad so I got a job at Hopkins. I leave tomorrow, just wanted to say goodbye." Alex was taken aback. He quickly recovered and engulfed her in a hug.
"You'd better call me all the time and talk to me and not go all 'New England Stuck Up' on me. And I better be able to call you next time I fuck up, okay?" Arizona laughed.
"Alex, I'm not dying. You can call me any time you want. I'm not moving to Africa, I'm going to Hopkins. That's all." At that moment, Alex's pager went off.
"Damn it, 911 on the preemie. Look Robbins, just call me when you land tomorrow okay?" Arizona nodded and he kissed her on the cheek and ran off. She chuckled and carefully set off to find Richard.
"Dr. Robbins, can I help you?" Richard asked as Arizona pulled him by his lab coat into the office behind the nurse's station.
"Richard, I'm leaving. Tomorrow, I'm going to Hopkins." Richard looked like she had grown another head.
"What? Why?!" he exclaimed.
"Eliza got fired."
"And somehow that constitutes moving to another time zone?"
"She didn't even say goodbye. I stayed here after Callie left, and I was all broken hearted and icky then. I can't be that girl again. So, I'm leaving."
"You and Torres were married. You had a child together. She was a giant part of your life for almost 7 years. If there was ever an appropriate time to flee the state it would have been then. You barely knew Minnick. You guys had sex a couple of times, made out in her car, maybe you even loved her. I don't know. But if I'm being honest Arizona, I think you should rethink this."
"Richard, I've already rethought this a million times over. I need to get away. I'll miss you." She hugged him.
"Arizona, just make sure you're sure." She nodded. Richard rubbed her arm softly and gave her a small smile.
Arizona only had one other person to tell before she was off forever.
"Meredith, are you busy?" Meredith looked up from her paperwork and offered a small smile.
"No, come on in."
"I'm leaving tomorrow." Meredith jumped up and looked at Arizona with concern.
"What?!"
Arizona explained her situation once again and Meredith gave her a hug and made her promise to call. By the time she had gathered all her belongings and packed it in her car, it was time for lunch. She descended into the cafeteria to eat the crappy hospital food one more time.
Arizona sat alone at the table in the corner, quietly eating her food and checking her phone. She decided to call Sofia to say hi, since she was on summer vacation.
She pulled the photo of her and Callie out from behind her phone and gazed at it. She had only talked to Callie briefly, in passing, since she left. Almost all of the words spoken consisted of the care of Sofia. When she dialed, Callie picked up the phone. She clearly hadn't checked the caller-id because she answered the phone by saying "I told you not to call anymore." Her voiced was laced with a little venom and a whole lot of hurt.
Arizona chuckled even though the situation was so unfunny. "Uh, it's me, Callie."
"Oh, Arizona. What's up?" She sounded a little frantic and frazzled.
"I just wanted to say hi to Sofia. Is she around?" Arizona asked, lightly fingering the photo in her hand.
"Uh yeah, hold on." Arizona heard Callie pull the phone away from her ear and yell for Sofia.
"Hi mommy!" Sofia bubbled, and Arizona could just hear the smile in her voice as she talked.
"Hi, sweetie, how are you?" Arizona couldn't help but grin at her adorable tiny voice.
"Good mommy! Mama said she'd take me roller skating later!"
"Aw, that's great honey. How is Mama?" Arizona pried. She knew it wasn't right to try to spy on her ex-wife through her 7 year old, but Callie sounded about 5 minutes away from a mental breakdown and she was worried for the both of them.
"She's really sad, I don't know why. But Penny hasn't been home in a week except when she came home and Mama got real mad and kicked her out and-" She was cut off by what Arizona assumed to be Callie snatching the phone away.
"Arizona, we're fine. Stop prying." Callie snapped, and Arizona was taken aback.
"Callie, I wasn't prying. I asked how you were, you sounded really flustered. She said Penny hadn't been home in a week, is everything okay? Did she hurt you?" Arizona couldn't see her but she could have bet money that Callie rolled her eyes at that.
"Look Arizona, stay out of it. My life is none of your business."
"Um, it is my business because we have a little 7 year old piece of business that I'm worried about. I'm moving out to Baltimore, so I can't take her but maybe you can send her out to stay with Meredith-"
"Wait what, you're moving out to Baltimore, why?" Arizona couldn't help but roll her eyes.
"My life is none of your business." Arizona mocked. She felt childish but Callie was pushing all her buttons. She squeezed the photo as she felt her heart start to hurt just a little.
"Whatever, Arizona. Honestly, I don't care. Sofia and I are fine. Move to Africa for all I care, just stay the hell out of my life." Callie hung up the phone before Arizona could say another word. She felt so hurt that Callie wouldn't talk to her, and she couldn't stand it.
She all but ran out to her car and practically burst into tears immediately. She hated herself for crying over the same damn woman again but she couldn't help it. She stared at their smiling faces and tried to remember when it all went wrong.
She thought back to the plane crash and realized that all their problems when she refused to talk to Callie after she lost her leg. All this, Arizona cheating, Callie leaving, all traced back to her. She laid her head down on the steering wheel and started at the picture, sobbing.
She had never been the biggest fan of Mark, but in this moment, she wished with all her heart he were here. He might have been perverted and kind of creepy, but he made an amazing friend and an even more amazing dad. He would know what to do. She closed her eyes and pretended she couldn't feel her heart breaking all over again.
"Welcome to John F Kennedy airport, we hoped you enjoyed your flight."
Arizona walked swiftly through the airport. She would have to go to Callie's house tomorrow, it was nearly 11 at night and there was no way she would see Sofia this late. She checked into a nearby hotel and laid down on the bed. She was utterly exhausted and knew tomorrow would be an emotionally hard day. She looked up at the ceiling and sighed. She should probably call Alex.
Arizona rolled over on her stomach and grabbed her phone. She scanned through her phone to find his number but she paused at "Callie Torres." Against her better judgement, she hit dial.
Callie picked up after two rings, and sounded even more flustered than she had the day before.
"Hello?!" She nearly shouted into the phone. Arizona flinched even though she knew the aggression wasn't targeted at her.
"Callie, it's me." Arizona said in what she hoped was soothing and not condescending.
"Arizona, what the hell is your problem? I told you I'm fine, and I know you didn't call to say hi to Sofia because it's well past her bedtime. So I ask again, what is your problem?"
"I…I don't know. I don't even know why I called."
"Look, Arizona. My life is being held together by pieces of yarn right now. The hospital is laying off a bunch of people, all my daughter wants to do is talk about her mother, I kicked my girlfriend out because she cheated on me, and now my ex-wife 'doesn't know why she called me.' Arizona, I'm about to have a breakdown, and I don't know what to do."
"Penny cheated on you?" Arizona asked quietly, filling to the brim with guilt.
"Yeah. Isn't that just hilarious? Everyone I've been in a serious relationship with since I moved to Seattle has cheated on me. Hell, the funny part is I was married to two of them! How stupid am I for believing that this time would be any different? At least Penny decided to rip the bandage off before I signed a marriage license." When she was done ranting, Callie let out a sigh as though this had been sitting on her chest for weeks.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry Penny cheated on you. I'm sorry George cheated on you-" but she was cut off by Callie scoffing loudly.
"Oh, don't you dare make this about George, because-" but Arizona kept talking over her.
"But mostly I'm sorry I cheated on you. I couldn't do anything about Penny or George, but I could have, I should have stopped myself. I won't make any more excuses. I'm just really sorry."
"Arizona, why do you even care? It's not like you're still in love with me." They both knew she meant it as a joke, but all Arizona could do is remain sheepishly quiet.
"Arizona?" Callie asked quietly. She didn't get an answer, and she had to check to make sure Arizona hadn't hung up. "You aren't in Baltimore, are you?"
"No." Arizona managed, crying now. Her voice broke and Callie heard it.
"Where are you?" She asked. Arizona gave her the name of the hotel and before she could say anything else, Callie had hung up the phone.
"DAMMIT!" Arizona yelled, and threw her phone at the pillows. Of all the times to fuck up everything, this was probably the worst.
Callie hung up the phone, shocked. She gently set the phone on the table and stared into her hands. She knew the hotel, it was only a couple of blocks down the road. She sat there, at her dining room table, for a good 5 minutes before she could move again. Numbly, she walked across the street to her neighbor's house.
Casey Andrews, a young brunette around the age of 18, frequently babysat Sofia whenever Callie and Penny wanted to go out, or she just needed a little time to herself. She knocked on the door and 30 seconds later, a skinny girl in baggy pajamas answered the door.
"Callie?" She asked, rubbing an eye and yawning. "You know it's almost midnight, right?"
Callie nodded, a little impatient. "Look, I have an emergency, can you watch Sofia tonight? I promise I'll be back tomorrow morning, but I really need to deal with something." Casey nodded sleepily, muttered something about getting her blanket, and stumbled out of her house after Callie. "Thank you so much Casey, you're honestly a life-saver."
"Yeah, yeah. I just need a place to crash."
Once Casey was all situated and Callie had gathered herself a little more, she drove off to Arizona's hotel room. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she knew she needed to do something because she loved Arizona and she was pretty sure Arizona just admitted to loving her too.
Without thinking, she walked into the hotel and asked the front desk which room her ex-wife was in. She took the elevator up and willed herself to turn around. It was a crazy idea, and this was a good way to get a restraining order. Nevertheless, she shoved her insecurities down her throat and stepped off the elevator right in front of Arizona's room.
Callie knocked on the door with as much confidence as she could muster. Arizona opened the door and Callie felt her heart pick up a little. Arizona was dressed in her ratty Hopkins shirt and short shorts she had taken from Callie a long time ago. The long speech that Callie had planned was completely wiped from her memory as she stared at her ex-wife's body.
"Callie, wh-" but she was cut off by Callie's lips on hers.
She was taken aback, but Callie shoved her back into her room, kicked the door closed, and continued to kiss her. If Arizona was being totally honest, she loved it. That was also good, because Callie liked what she saw and didn't plan to stop any time soon.
Arizona cuddled up into Callie's side in the afterglow of their love.
"What does this mean?" Arizona asked nervously, and Callie groaned quietly.
"Don't ask that. Whenever someone asks that this whole magic goes down the toilet." Callie said, pulling Arizona closer. The blonde smiled.
"Callie…You could always move back home with me." Arizona said quietly.
"Arizona.." Callie trailed off. "Are you sure? I don't want to rush this…"
"I want you back, Cal. Sofia would be happy at home with Zola again, and I need you back." Arizona said, burying her face in Callie's neck and nibbling slightly. Callie let out a small moan.
"Okay, we'll call Bailey tomorrow and I'll talk to her." Arizona smiled and climbed on top of Callie.
"That's my girl." Arizona grinned as she reconnected their lips for what would surely not be the last time that night.
Ughh, me and my sucky endings. Thanks for limping through this with me. R&R :)