Baking Cakes

By, pinoykengumi7

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin

Note: I have no idea if there are bush turkeys in Japan. Forgive me; it's just a fanfic. I tried to make it as non-OOC as possible.

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THIS IS NOT A RECIPE ON HOW TO BAKE CAKES

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She really did like nature, especially those birds and bees. What more was expected from a 6-year-old girl?

"Look Aoshi-sama. That bird just did a poop-pee." Aoshi internally groaned. Said 6-year-old also had a knack for noticing the not-so-pleasant facts of life. Which brought him to ask, out of all people, why did it have to be him to explain to Misao about the facts of life? She would figure it out… one day. Heck, he was still going through… through puberty! Gods, he hated that word. Yes, she would definitely find out without his help… but probably with Okina's. He shuddered, Okina's voice still fresh in his mind when he had had his informative talk. No, that was too scarring for a young girl like Misao. Which was exactly why he had been unanimously elected to tell Misao about 'that'.

"I think it's about time she learnt that storks do not bring babies," Okina said, preening his little stubble of hair on his chin.

Oh yes. The main reason for that was because Misao constantly approached Okina, asking him to ask the storks to bring a baby for Hannya-kun. Aoshi stifled a smile. Well, just how was he going to start this little 'talk' of his anyway? Ah. An analogy.

He took a look around at his surroundings. Trees. Bushes. Shrubs. Great. How was he going to work with those? An image of Okina came to mind. "…Ohoho and the bigger tree 'jumped' onto the smaller tree…" Aoshi winced. Definitely not the correct approach.

"Aoshi-sama, what are those two doing?" His eyes promptly widened as he saw what she was pointing at. Two birds, probably bush turkeys, were 'getting it on'. That was the easiest way he could put it without getting so embarrassed that it, well, led to other things.

"Well?" Damn Misao. The girl didn't have a knack for noticing things like this; she had a talent. Well there was no getting out of this one. Swallowing hard, he prayed to the gods he wouldn't make a fool of himself, cursed 'puberty' –his voice was currently breaking- and silently asked for the birds to stop their somewhat energetic activity.

He mustered up all his courage and…"They are reproducing." Aoshi mentally slapped himself. First, it sounded like "the-AY are ree-prO-joo-SING". So much for trying to sound serious. Secondly, Misao had a determined look on her face – she would find out what they were doing, no matter what the cost. And if that wasn't bad, those birds were still at it. Why didn't children come with 'reproduction knowledge' installed in their minds?

"Hey, Aoshi-sama! That bird looks like it's hurting the bird on the bottom."

He grimaced. It was either 'let Misao have the wrong idea' or 'make a fool of myself'. A sound that Aoshi identified as a muffled laugh reached his ears. He swiftly turned around, but only saw a flash of red. Ah, that meant Hannya was here. Beshimi probably came to get a laugh out of it too. Well he'd show them. "Misao-chan, they are merely mating."

"Mating?"

"Yes. That is how… how they make babies." His face was definitely on fire.

"So you mean storks don't bring babies?" Another chuckle from behind was heard.

"Precisely."

"Do you think those birds could make Hannya-kun a baby?" Aoshi laughed. So did someone else, apparently, for he heard his best friend hiss, "fool!" Well it was time he had some fun. But first he'd have to clear up this 'bird' business. He had the perfect example. She was bright, she would understand.

"Misao-chan, imagine that there is a queen who wants to bake a cake but she is missing an ingredient." Misao nodded and pursed her eyes shut. She was probably trying to envision the situation. "Now, the king is the only one who has that ingredient. So the king gets a messenger and gets him to send—"

"Aoshi-sama, I don't see what this has to do with those birds attacking each other."

"Just wait, Misao-chan. It's getting there. Now where was I?"

"The messenger," Misao prompted.

"Ah, yes. So the king sends a messenger to give the ingredient to the queen and now she can make her cake!"

Misao cracked open one eye. "I don't get it." She shook her head for emphasis. Aoshi sighed, so maybe she wasn't so bright. He ignored the eruption of snickers behind him. He could deal with them later… actually, now sounded fine.

"Hannya, Beshimi. Come out," he called loudly, not missing the "oh Kami-sama".

"Hannya-kun and Beshimi-kun are here?" She ran behind him. "I found you, Hannya-kun! But where's Beshimi-kun?" She tugged at his hand and brought him out in front of Aoshi.

"Lucky good-for-nothing got away," Hannya muttered.

"Misao-chan, why don't you ask Hannya about mating?"

"Yeah! Hannya-kun, what's mating?" Hannya cleared his throat, shot Aoshi an 'I-will-get-you-back-for-this' look and then opened his mouth to speak… but nothing came out. Aoshi stifled a laugh, earning him a glare. It seemed Hannya was weighing his options – tell Misao the blunt truth, or use and analogy like Aoshi had. He opted for the former.

"Misao-chan, those birds which you saw before were not hurting each other, but were having sex."

"Sex." Misao repeated.

"Yes." Aoshi's eyes bugged out. He hadn't expected Hannya to be so… so frank about this matter. "Male birds have body parts called testes. These help the female bird have the egg."

"How does the test-tees help?" Aoshi felt like shaking his friend and yelling why on earth was he explaining so bluntly to a mere child of six about sex.

"They make something called sperm. And then when that gets put into the female bird, she can have an egg."

"How does it get put into the female bird?" Misao's eyes were now wide open with curiosity.

"You see those birds over there?" Both Aoshi and Misao turned. Another pair was 'baking cakes' as Aoshi so tactfully put it. "The testes are on the back of the male bird. He has a hole that the sperm passes through and into the female bird's—"

Aoshi promptly fainted, his face flushed.

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Hey Aoshi-sama! Wake up!" Aoshi blinked. This certainly was not the forest, where those birds were… were 'baking cakes'. He still couldn't bring himself to say 'sex' openly, and 'baking cakes' seemed a lot milder than 'getting it on'.

"Misao-chan?"

"Aoshi-sama, I learnt a lot from Hannya-kun today! He said—"

"Oh please, no, Misao-chan." A pained look crossed his face.

"Okay then," she shrugged nonchalantly, none of the vibrancy leaving her face. "By the way, Hannya-kun helped me bake a cake!" Aoshi instantaneously fell forward out of pure shock.

"Hannya-kun! Come here quick! Aoshi-sama's nose is bleeding!"

- Owari -

OMAKE (for those who want more)

Hannya: Shame on you, Aoshi. Thinking such perverted thoughts at the mere age of 16.

Aoshi: -blushes furiously- S-She was the one who—

Hannya: Now now, Aoshi. Watch out, otherwise you might get the bed a bit… -muffles laugh-

Aoshi: -looks down- Oh crap.

Misao: -walks in with Okina behind her- Aoshi-sama, um. Why do your pants look very big around that area?

Okina: -feints shock and quickly covers Misao's eyes with his hands- OH MY MISAO-CHAN! YOUR VIRGIN EYES!

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Author's Notes

Kekeke. What fun I had writing this, especially the analogy and omake! Oh, childish innocence! XD I hope you all liked it. Please leave a review, for the sake of the duck. C'mon, be a sport. You've made it this far, laughed a bit, so why not make me happy!

Ehhhh, just for the count, I want to know if I should continue this as a collection of one-shots featuring Misao growing up and turning to Aoshi to teach her. -grins- Inform me in your review...

Laters then,

-Duckii Mustang-