John's never ending quest to soothe Sherlock's boredom leads him to create an impossible game that even the great Sherlock Holmes cannot solve.
…
Sherlock furrows his eyebrows. "I don't understand."
John rolls his eyes. Finally, he's the one ahead and Sherlock's the one left in the dust. "I just spent forever explaining, were you not listening?"
Sherlock shakes his head and John sighs. "Okay, it's simple. Lestrade, Molly, Mrs. Hudson, Mycroft, Sally, and Anderson all have clues for you. You only get the clues if you give them a sincerely heartfelt apology for what a jerk you've been. Once you get all the clues, come back to me for the final clue."
"How do I get the final clue?"
John smiles. "You have to kiss me."
Sherlock runs out the door without another word.
…
"Mrs. Hudson!" Sherlock yells. "I'm sorry!"
Mrs. Hudson stops her sweeping. "For what?"
Sherlock pauses. He doesn't have time to apologize for every single thing he's done. "Everything. This is a general, blanket apology."
"Sherlock Holmes, you can memorize 482 types of lint; I refuse to believe you can't remember every mean thing you've done to me."
Sherlock rolls his eyes. A laundry list of apologies follows. When he finishes, he demands, "What's the clue?"
"Johns favorite flowers are lavender," she says.
"Lavender. Okay, good."
Sherlock runs out of 221B and towards Scotland Yard, not bothering to get a cab.
...
Sherlock bursts through the door of Lestrade's office at the yard. "I'm sorry for doing drugs and stealing evidence and generally being a jerk. What's the clue?"
Lestrade smiles. "John's favorite food is tiramisu."
Without pausing for a breath, Sherlock runs out to Sally and Anderson. "I'm sorry because I'm an insensitive of shit who always criticizes your police work. Clue?"
"John likes foot rubs," Sally says.
"And bubble baths," Anderson adds.
...
"Mycroft!" Sherlock bursts through his brother's office at Whitehall. "I'm sorry I make fun of you all the time. Thank you for running the country and not starting a war in the last two weeks."
Mycroft doesn't even look up from his laptop. "His favorite movie is "Mamma Mia"."
...
He runs off to Bart's Morgue and interrupts Molly in the middle of an autopsy.
"I'm sorry I'm mean to you and constantly belittle you. You're actually an extremely valuable asset to me. Thank you."
Molly smiles, setting down the human heart she's dissecting. "His favorite song is "Toxic"."
...
Sherlock runs back to Baker Street as fast as he feet will take him. John is sitting in his hair waiting for him. Sherlock collapses at his feet.
"Can I sing "Toxic" for you while giving you a foot rub in the bubble bath while you ate tiramisu while "Mamma Mia" plays in the background."
John just smiles and nods and reaches down to kiss his flatmate on the lips.
...
In the Game of John, everyone's a winner.
...
Notes:
Oh, my god. Why did I write this? It's so cute and stupid and I'm absolutely in love with it. I hope you enjoyed!