Willow almost screamed when she saw the hulking figure looming outside the French doors of her bedroom.
She clapped her hand over her mouth just in time, but she couldn't stop her eyes from darting wildly to where her fish tank used to sit. Gulp. She got up from her bed and turned off the stereo, which had been playing the song Oz had written for her over and over. She opened the door slowly.
"Uh, hi, Angel. Are you OK?"
She had taken down the crosses from her wall over the summer – and what a relief it was to no longer endure her dad's faux-casual remarks about Jews for Jesus – but the supernatural barrier was still in place. To get in, Angel would need an invitation. She felt relieved, then a little ashamed of that reaction.
"I'm sorry to bother you," Angel said. "It's just—it's Buffy."
"Is she in trouble?" Willow squeaked. "I was just talking to her on the phone a little while ago. Did Spike come back? Did he attack her? Oh, no, poor Buffy. I knew we should've done the de-invitation spell. But I was distracted and now it's all my-"
"Willow," Angel interrupted, sharply but not unkindly. "It's OK. Buffy's not in danger."
"Oh, whew. Sorry. I might be a little on overdrive with the guilt thing." Willow paused. "So, wait, if Buffy's not in trouble, then why are you here?"
"She…um…Buffy decided that it's not a good idea for us to see each other anymore."
"Yeah, she told me," Willow said sadly. "There's a lot of that going around these days."
Her hands twisted together nervously and she looked down with a sigh. As her mind clicked the pieces into place, she met his gaze again swiftly.
"Oh! You're here because you want to know how Buffy's doing. You're worried about her."
"Yeah, I mean, I've seen her a bit… Not that I've been spying on her, but y'know, I was at the Bronze, and..." Angel shifted uncomfortably and hunched over until he seemed slightly less hulking. "Would it be OK if I came in? I understand if you don't…"
"Huh?" Willow pretended for a moment that she wasn't perfectly aware that he was still standing awkwardly outside her door. This was the guy who'd recently saved her from a flamey death, she reminded herself. Not the guy who made a garland of her little fishies and killed Ms. Calendar and tortured Giles and...She took a deep breath.
"Sure, come in, Angel," she said finally.
"Thank you," he answered quietly. He didn't say more, but she knew he understood what it meant for her to offer that kind of trust. She almost laughed when she remembered that the last time he'd asked to come in, she had mostly been nervous about having a non-Xander guy in her room. What a difference a year could make.
Angel stepped inside, and she gestured for him to sit in her desk chair. She turned the stereo back on to mask their voices – she still technically wasn't allowed to have non-Xander guys in her room late at night, after all – then perched on her bed.
"So. Buffy…?"
"She's just looked so down, when I've seen her. I just wondered…"
"Of course she's down, Angel. This whole thing isn't about whether she cares about you. She just doesn't trust herself not to get all tempted. Sometimes we want something so badly we forget how much it can hurt people."
"I know," Angel said. "I know she's right. But I was supposed to be here to help her, and if I can't do that, then what's left for me?"
"I wish I knew. I thought I was supposed to be with Oz. How am I going to live with it if it turns out I ruined things forever?" Willow traced the pattern on her comforter for a few quiet moments. "I guess the only thing I can do is trust that the story isn't over. If I'm patient and show how sorry I am, maybe I'll be forgiven."
"What if it's not that easy?"
"Who said anything about easy, Mister? I want to call Oz every second. But he asked me to leave him alone, and I have to respect that."
He gave her a half-smile. "I understand." He rose to his feet. "I hope it works out for you."
She could only smile back sadly, afraid that giving voice to any more of her hopes might jinx them.
He was almost to the door when he turned around and retrieved something from his pocket.
"I found this among my things. I thought you might like it."
She rose and took it from his outstretched hand. It was a sparkly raw amethyst, useful in dozens of healing spells and known for its calming properties. The perfect gift for a budding witch.
She started to thank him, but when she looked up, he was already gone. All she saw was her own face looking back at her from the glass door.
A/N: Thanks to dcavazos84 for the beta help!
