A/N Okay, here goes. My mind is a miasma of creativity and I live in a world where all of my favorite TV shows, movies, books, and stories like to blend and co-mingle in one common place. No story is sacred, no timeline or canon. I will take a favorite character and twist him or her (usually him, since I like to write slash) to do my bidding. I am an evil mistress. That being said, I realize that none of these characters belong to me. Neither do the trademarked items, foodstuffs, or computer programs. They are all in my sandbox brain, but I am not claiming any rights to them.
Now, let's get to the meat of this. As you will no doubt read, I am starting off with Psych and Chuck as my first crossover, but this will be a multi-fandom, filled with characters from Psych, Chuck, True Blood, Supernatural, Marvel, DC, and any other fandom I wish to use. I am unapologetic. I will, however, attempt to make this story as seamless as possible. I detest choppy stories that make no sense. Keep in mind this is only the first chapter. All back stories will eventually be explained in due time. Be patient, kind readers. Also, I am in the market for Betas who are as demented as I am, who don't flinch at dude on dude sex, and don't mind the occasional OC. I haven't decided whether I'm going to do any Mary Sue, but it's a possibility. So if you're the peanut butter (which is strange because I'm allergic) to my chocolate, send me a message. Oh, and this is my first published attempt at a fanfic and I am a capricious girl, so try not to get too invested on the off-chance that school, life, or depression tear me away from the forums. Any who, please read, review (constructive, please) and encourage. That is all.
Chapter One: Addicted
As the opening bars to Saving Abel's Addicted started playing over the hidden speakers in Shawn's bedroom, he gave a low, throaty laugh. "Oh, that's perfect timing." He commented, and moaned again when the hot mouth around his cock sucked harder. His toes curled. "I swear, I didn't time it like that…" He continued, and then stopped because the sucking stopped. The covers moved and a head appeared. Carlton's eyes met his. "Do you ever stop talking, Spencer? It's not like I can carry on a conversation with you. It's impolite to speak with your mouth full." His lips twisted in a smirk and Shawn laughed. "You're right, how rude of me. Please, continue. All you'll hear from now on is unintelligible moans of pleasure." He curled his fingers in Carlton's hair and gave a gentle nudge back toward his happy place, tugging the covers over his head once more. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Carlton, it was just that the room was cold. He was glad he did cover up when the door slammed open and light flooded the room.
"There you are!" Gus proclaimed, and then eyed the shape of the covers, confused. "And you're not alone." He saw two pairs of feet sticking out of the end of the blanket. "Those are men's feet." He observed, stunned. Beneath the cover Carlton cringed and let go of his dick. Shawn, being the eternal kidder he was, gave a saccharine sweet smile. "Be nice or you'll hurt her feelings." He said to Gus, who was shocked into immobility. Carlton pinched his inner thigh roughly and Shawn yelped. "Ow!" He protested. "Okay, fine, they're men's feet. But the feet aren't ready to meet the best friend of the guy they're currently performing fellatio on, so could you come back another time that isn't now?"
Gus blinked out of his stupor. "Uh…yeah. Can't think…" He started to back out of the room, but then stopped. "Forget about the feet, Shawn. You turned off your phone for reasons that are now very clear, and Chief Vick called me to find you. Have you heard about this vampire thing?"
"Vampire thing?" Shawn echoed, interested now. Carlton pinched him again and he winced. "Oh, right. I'll call her. Get out of here, please. And next time my door is closed, you know the sex knock. Use it."
"Shave and a haircut. Got it." Gus agreed, and then sped from the room as if he were suddenly on fire. Carlton waited for the door to slam before coming up for air. "Do you two have no boundaries? And since when did 'Shave and a Haircut' become a sex knock? You have ruined a perfectly innocent couplet."
"Hey, it works." Shawn protested, and rapped on the night stand. "We're having sex now, get lost." He sang. Carlton tried to stifle the laugh, but he couldn't. He burst out laughing and rolled onto his back, tangling in the blankets so they barely covered Shawn's thighs. Shawn shivered and grabbed for more blanket, but Carlton stopped him. "You should call Chief Vick. If Gus mentioned vampires with a straight face, your vision could be coming true. I should probably check my phone too." He said, crawling out of bed. Shawn sighed heavily. He knew there was no use in arguing with the man when it came to his job. "Fine, but you owe me two blow jobs now." He muttered.
"Next time we find time for uninterrupted sex, I promise I will blow your brains out and then fuck the hell out of you. Deal?" Carlton compromised. Shawn grinned a slow, lecherous grin. "I love it when you talk dirty, demon boy. Now get out of here before I decide our jobs can wait."
Carlton stepped forward, gave Shawn a deep and passionate kiss filled with dirty promises, and disappeared in a swirling vortex of flames. It was so cool that he could do that, Shawn thought. He grabbed his phone, turned it back on, and saw that he had six missed calls from Chief Vick, along with seven from Gus and three from Juliet. He didn't bother checking the texts. Chief Vick's desk phone rang three times before she picked up. "Chief Vick." She greeted with a tight voice. Shawn flinched automatically. She wasn't a pleasant person when she was sleep deprived. "Hey Chief, Gus mentioned you were trying to get a hold of me. What's up?" He looked down at his flagging member. Certainly not him. Damn it.
"Thank God, Mr. Spencer. I have been trying to reach you for two hours. Where the hell have you been?" She demanded.
"In my bed, trying to get laid." Shawn answered honestly. He felt her cringe through the phone. "Sorry about that. Listen, I need you at the station ASAP. Have you seen the news?"
"Nope, been a little busy." Shawn replied, grabbing discarded underwear, jeans, and a clean undershirt.
"There are vampires, Shawn. Real, live vampires. Did you know about them?"
Of course he knew about them, he was a psychic former spy who used to hunt down wayward supernatural creatures for a living. "I may have bumped into a couple in my time. I'm on my way to the station now. The best thing to do is not to panic, okay?"
"Tell that to the rest of the station. That's why we need you here. We need a supernatural ball in our court."
"Got it. See you in twenty."
He hung up the phone, threw on a sweatshirt over his undershirt, grabbed a coat, and left his new loft apartment five minutes from his office. Since Operation Bartowsi was now in full effect in Santa Barbara, the CIA had reactivated his status as an operative to provide backup. He'd have to call Chuck to see if he'd heard the news, but it would have to wait. Talking on a cell phone wasn't safe on a motorcycle.
Ten minutes later he parked his bike next to Carlton's vehicle. "At least you two will get some side by side action." He said to the inanimate objects. They didn't respond, of course. If they did, he was going to check himself in for psychiatric evaluation. He told Siri to call Chuck, and she did. Moments later, Chuck's familiar but sleepy voice came over the line. "What is it, Shawn? I just got back from Moscow." He grunted.
"Sorry, Chuckmeister, but now isn't the time for beauty sleep. I don't know much, but apparently vampires are on the news. You may want to check it out. I'm on my way into the station now to do damage control."
"Vampires? Like…your friend?"
"My friend isn't technically a vampire. He drinks blood, but that's where the similarities end. He's a whole 'nother animal." Shawn replied, pushing through the double doors. "I'm in the station now. Can you have Morgan put together as much intel as he can on these people? I'm pretty sure they're Children of Lilith, but I need to know everything. Look for allergies to silver and sunlight."
"Got it." Chuck agreed, shaking off the sleep. They hung up without saying goodbye and Shawn nodded to Chief Vick, who was waving him down. Beside her was Carlton, now dressed as he did every day and wearing the same expression. At work they were adversaries, but in the sack…well, sometimes they were still adversaries. It was more fun that way. He bit back a smile and joined the Chief.
They were in the bullpen, all their attention focused on the television. It was a special report featuring a man and a woman, both beautiful and pale. Even through the television Shawn could feel their preternatural vibes. Definitely Children of Lilith. "This started playing on the ten o'clock news, all around the world. Some have different vampires, but they're all basically saying the same thing. We exist." Chief Vick began, addressing the room. "According to the report they have been working in secret with a few Japanese scientists to create a synthetic replacement for human blood, and have done so successfully. It has been sold at various locations in secret for a year now. To corroborate their claims, they have drawn up statistics proving that mysterious attacks and deaths have gone down in the last year, and feel that they can now peacefully coexist with humans." She paused, closing her eyes and licking her lips. "Honestly, people, I can't believe I'm standing up here briefing all of you on the existence of vampires. It seems so farfetched, even for a Chief of Police who relies on a psychic investigator."
That got a few laughs and glances toward Shawn, who gave a friendly wave. "And speaking of our resident psychic, I believe I will turn the floor over to him. Perhaps he can better prepare you all for the fallout of this international outing. Shawn?" She motioned him forward and he went to stand beside Carlton, who shifted a little to put some distance between them. Shawn bit back a smile. "Thank you, Chief Vick." He scanned the room, feeling the atmosphere. It was clouded with fear, disbelief, awe, excitement, and just about every other emotion he could think of. Vampires had a way of doing that. Some people worshipped them and others wanted to put a stake through their hearts. They were like cilantro. You either loved or hated the herb. "Looking around, I see a lot of fear and uncertainty hovering in this room. It's sort of a black nimbus cloud above your heads, like the poor guys in those cartoons with the storm clouds following them." Pause for laughter. None? Okay. He took a breath and nodded. "Truth be told, I've known that the Children of Lilith were planning their little outing celebration for a while now, but no one would have believed me if I said anything, so I didn't. Half of you don't believe psychics exist, and I'm right here." Still no laughter. Man, this was worse than a funeral.
"Here's what you need to know." He continued undaunted. "Yes, the report is accurate. No, they're not going to turn you into human blood banks. That's what the synthetic blood is for. However, we all know that there are certain types of people who are charmed by the supernatural." Don't look at Carlton. "I'm one of them, truth be told. Don't worry, I won't be looking for any creatures of the night to turn me. But there will be people out there who will. From this point forward, we need to keep an eye on the disenfranchised, the lonely emo kiddies, the men and women looking to make a quick buck by selling their blood. Prostitutes will be at higher risk, so any of you working vice should warn your girls and boys to be safe out there. They won't listen; they never do. But if you notice a trend of prostitutes missing, come to me. I'll put out my psychic feelers and get to the bottom of it. On the other hand, if you find a body in an alley missing some Hawaiian Punch, don't automatically assume that vampires are the culprits. There are a lot of human criminals who will attempt to use vampires as scapegoats for their crimes."
Juliet raised her hand and Shawn acknowledged her. "How can we tell the difference between a vampire murder and a run of the mill murder? Are their identifying marks?"
"Good question. Yes, there are certain identifiers of a vampire murder. The first and most obvious will be extreme pallor. Don't assume that just because they have a couple of holes in their neck that they were killed by Dracula. Generally vampires don't drink as much blood as is in the human body unless they are incredibly hungry, but when they do, they drain a victim. The holes won't be neat, either, and they may not always be on the neck. Some prefer the femoral artery." He tapped his thigh and finally got a few chuckles from the guys. "Autopsy will most likely reveal the presence of saliva if the victim has been killed by a vamp."
"What about killing them?" Buzz asked.
"Don't. We don't want to start a war with vampires, Buzz. They took the first step in creating a peaceful cohabitation with humans, which shows that they are trying to mend their ways. Besides, the type of vampire that came out tonight is very messy when killed. They don't turn into dust or fade away, they explode. I'm talking stepping on a landmine, red mist and entrails everywhere. A few drops of vamp blood will have you tripping the light fantastic for days. It's not a pleasant trip. If you come across a hostile vampire, the best thing to do is to get someplace well lit and loud, with lots of people. They're not supposed to hunt according to their own laws anymore, but some do. Drawing attention to yourself without drawing attention to them is the best course of action. They'll move on."
"Can you tell us if there are any vampires in Santa Barbara?" Carlton asked. Shawn smiled. "I can tell you with complete confidence that there are no vampires we need to worry about in Santa Barbara." He replied honestly. There were vampires here, but they weren't threats. No one caught onto his near lie, thankfully.
The Q and A went on for a while and Shawn fielded every question easily. He closed the meeting with this remark; "The most important thing you need to remember about this little plot twist in our lives is that we are the ones who need to remain calm. I foresee a high volume of panicky 911 calls in the near future, but it will soon die down. We humans don't adjust well to change. In fact, there will probably be more human on vampire crimes, not vice versa, in the next year. Not in Santa Barbara, but in other places. Just stay calm and keep your heads the same way you do with every other case that comes across your desk. That is all." He took a bow and stepped down. Across the room, Gus was staring at him in wide-eyed wonder. He cursed under his breath and went to his friend, knowing he needed to have a good explanation in place. They went into Vick's office and closed the door.
"How the hell can you stand out there and reassure people about vampires when we know nothing about them?" Gus demanded, keeping his voice down. It was a struggle. Shawn pushed a hand through his hair. "Look, Gus…I haven't been completely honest with you about everything. I really am psychic, and I really have come across vampires in the past. Mostly they're good people. I have a couple of vampire buds, in fact."
"Bullshit." Gus spat. "I've known you since we were in diapers. You would have told me if the psychic thing was real long before now."
Shawn sighed. "I wanted to tell you, Gus, but…look, do you remember when we were kids, the night terrors I used to have?"
Gus shrugged, crossing his arms. "Yeah. So?"
"So they were visions. I started having them when I was a teenager. A few shrinks told me they were anxiety dreams caused by tension between my parents, so I ignored them. But then a few years later, when I left home, they got worse. I went to see another psychiatrist who happened to have past experience working with the government and he…well, he recommended that I go in for testing. I can't talk about where I went because it's classified. They found out that I have enormous potential as a psychic and I went to work for the government."
"Which agency?" Gus demanded, not believing him. Shawn shook his head. "Can't tell you, bud. You would be in danger, and I would get into a lot of trouble. Suffice it to say, I worked for the government until four years ago, when I lost a good friend to a nest of vampires. Not these kinds of vampires, though. Anyway, I was so emotionally damaged by the whole thing that my line to the higher powers was blocked. I became useless to them, so they sent me home with orders not to tell anyone. All the jobs I've had, they're part of a cover story to sell the idea of an unambitious, unfocused loser who will never amount to anything."
"And you opened a psychic detective agency? That doesn't track."
"It does if you think about it. In addition to the psychic ability, I also have an eidetic memory, excellent deductive reasoning skills, a genius intellect and a keen eye for detail. It's easy to pass myself off as a psychic with my bag of tricks. You've seen me in action. I didn't have to use my abilities for this job. Recently the pipeline to the visions has been slowly opening, and the powers are starting to evolve." He concluded, and glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching. Only Carlton had an eye on him, and could hear everything. With his right hand he gestured to a paperweight sitting on the Chief's desk and it flew to him, landing in his palm. Gus immediately jumped back, his eyes wide with shock. "Holy shit, my best friend is a mutant." He breathed, waving his hands under Shawn's to confirm that there were no wires. His face lit up. "Did you work for SHIELD? The X-Men?" He asked eagerly.
"Again, classified. And the X-Men aren't a government organization. They comply with the government and assist, but they're not on the taxpayers' dime. Honestly, I don't see why the existence of vampires has to be such a big deal when we've gotten used to mutants and aliens in the world. It's just one more non-human species."
"Maybe that's the problem. Humans are being crowded out."
Shawn scoffed. "No way, man. Even if you combined all the non-humans in the world, they would still be outnumbered by humans a million to one. I should know. I've done the research. This is still very much your planet, and will be for a long, long time." He patted his friend's shoulder and sent the paperweight back to the Chief's desk, not realizing that she was on the other side of the door. Thankfully she was the only one who saw.
"Mr. Spencer, please tell me you're not a vampire." She requested in a dangerously sweet voice, a little alarmed.
"I am not a vampire. I am a psychic with a couple of extra tricks." Shawn admitted. He could erase her memory, but maybe having her know that he could do more than pick lottery numbers might be beneficial to his career. Well, his primary career. "Um, I'd rather no one knew about my bag of party tricks for the moment, so can we keep this between us?" He asked her. She gave him a thoughtful look and nodded. "Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Spencer. Both of you go home now. We have plenty of people manning the phones. Thank you for your help, Mr. Spencer."
"All in a day's work, Chief." Shawn replied with a little bow. Her lips twisted in a wry smile and they left her office. They made it most of the way to Shawn's bike when suddenly Gus stopped short. "I just remembered, we need to talk about the feet."
Shawn was momentarily confused. "The feet?"
Gus made a face. "The feet that weren't yours that were sticking out of the covers. The men's feet. Since when do you like male feet? I thought you were all about the female feet? Juliet has nice feet, and unless I'm reading her wrong, her feet are totally into you."
"I'm not a foot fetishist, Gus. Those feet were attached to the rest of a body." Shawn replied, not wanting to talk about it. Gus would eventually want to know who the feet belonged to, and neither he nor Carlton were ready to be out of that particular closet.
"I know that, Shawn. It's just…I'm starting to think I don't know you as well as I thought I did. You and I, we don't have secrets. Now I find out that you're into dudes and used to work for the government?" His voice was going shrill. Shawn made a motion for him to keep his voice down and pointed at the security lights. "We're on Candid Camera, Guster." He said quietly, grabbing his friend by the arm and dragging him bodily away from the police station security cameras. There was a feed down in Castle that was devoted to monitoring the station. When they were far enough from view he said quietly, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything about…dudes. That particular attraction popped up around the same time my abilities began to manifest, and I thought I should keep that a secret too. We all know how you are about your machismo. You love the ladies, and I thought if you knew you had a gay best friend, you might be…grossed out."
Gus considered this and pulled a 'you're not completely wrong' face. "I'll admit, the thought of two guys together gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies, but I'm not going to dump our twisted bro-mance just because dudes give you the warm fuzzies. You're my best friend. We were zygotes together. Brothers from another mother. I'm not going to stop being the chocolate to your peanut butter just because you get it on with dudes, bro. Just don't hit on me and we're cool."
Shawn pulled an exaggerated sad face. "Damn, there goes my chance at some chocolate thunder." He joked. Gus arched an eyebrow at him, decided he was joking, and grabbed his head in a head lock. He felt like doing something macho to break the awkwardness of the situation. "You're not getting rid of me that easily. Now, who do those feet belong to? I swear I won't tell anyone. Do I know him? Is the rest of him as nice as his feet? He has quite attractive feet."
Shawn twisted out of the headlock, laughing. "What is it with you and feet? Tell you what, next time we're together I'll snap a pic of his calves. He has nice calves too."
"No pics, please. Just tell me who he is." He made a pouty puppy dog face and Shawn shook his head. "Not going to happen. Not yet. We're still in the fun sexy time portion of our budding relationship, and he's not ready to meet the codependent best friend of the guy he's shagging. It could make things complicated for both of us."
"Complicated? I knew it! I know him, don't I? It's not Buzz, is it?"
Shawn barked a laugh. "No way, man. Buzz is married, remember? To a woman. Besides, he's not at all my type."
Gus sighed, frustrated. "The only thing I know about your type so far is you like handsome feet. Does your dad know?"
Shawn paled visibly. "No way, man. You can't say anything either. If and when I'm ready to come out of that closet, I will do it my way. I don't need you staging an intervention slash coming out party for me."
Gus rolled his eyes. "Please, you know I would throw one fabulous party." He pursed his lips much like Hollywood from Mannequin and gave a sassy three-snap. Shawn cringed visibly. "That's both stereotypical and hilarious and I demand that you desist for the sake of gay men everywhere. Side note, we should totally do mannie-petties sometime. My cuticles are horrendous." He stretched out his right hand and examined his cuticles and Gus laughed. "I can't believe I didn't know you were gay before. If there's anything I learned from Gigli it's how to tell if a man's gay."
"And that Ben Affleck and J-Lo should never share a screen again." Shawn added, and then yawned. Gus shrugged. "The only reason I have the digital copy is for her yoga scene."
"Gross. Next time, keep that to yourself." Shawn shot back, and covered another yawn. "I need to crash, bud. See you tomorrow…or later today."
"Yeah, you too." Gus replied as Shawn went back to his bike. "Say hello to your friend's feet for me!" He called as Shawn mounted his bike. He throttled the engine, put on his helmet, and flashed a thumbs up.