A servant's tale.

A/N I wondered about the extra help sir John Middleton's household would hire when he is entertaining…this is Beth's tale. Please tell me what you think! X george

I hope the Manor will hire me again this season. After all, I had to look after my husband the past years, so I wasn't available. But he died last month. I am ashamed to say I am relieved …but I am, he was a kind man, he died peacefully and didn't suffer. I am widowed now and I don't know about the rules, what it says about widows.

I am getting on, past fifty now but I know how to work, I hope the housekeeper remembers me. I could use a few extra pennies, now with my husband passed away…

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I still remember vividly the last season I was asked to help out at the House. Two years ago now. My man was not well even then, but he could manage to be left alone for a while. I started my work at the Manor at six. Lighting the fires in the kitchen was the first task, making them blaze, then filling the large, heavy kettles with fresh water and put them on. After that I went to light the fires in the guest rooms. I knew how to build a fire, the job had to be done very quietly. Guests were to wake up in a nice warm room without ever noticing someone build the fire at all. After that I was given a bowl of porridge and a steaming cup of honeyed tea in the kitchen, and then I was to light the fires in the library and drawing room, before the family got there.

Another cup of tea, then sweeping and cleaning the floors of the Great Hall and cleaning up after breakfast. Then I was told to change my apron and cap, only I had just the one set.

'For heavens sake, take these,' Mrs Hill, the housekeeper said impatiently and I was given a clean but worn set. 'Go dust the guest rooms and make the beds,' she told me. 'And for heaven's sake make sure no one sees you, I shouldn't let you do this, it's only because we're understaffed as it is. And wash your hands! And your face!'

I didn't mind, extra work meant extra money, I am not ashamed to admit we were very poor. So I went up and cleaned the guests' rooms, after I made sure the rooms were empty.

Thus had been my routine for four days, when something unexpected happened.

I entered one of the guests rooms, expecting it to be deserted, but the gentleman who occupied it was still there. At first I did not even see him, as he was seated near the fire in an easy chair. So when I noticed him, I jumped vehemently.

'I'm sorry milord, I didn't mean to disturb you, I'm supposed to clean the room after…I'll come back later,' all I could think about was the housekeeper who'd certainly kill me for exposing myself to the upstairs.

But the gentleman smiled at me.

'That's alright, you can come in. I would like the company, actually.'

I felt very embarrassed but the gentleman told me I could do my work in his presence.

'I haven't seen you before, are you new at Barton Park?' he asked kindly.

'No milord, I'm only hired for the season, for the rough work and the extra cleaning. I should not be taking care of the guests rooms, but the household is understaffed.'

'I see,' he said.

The door opened and a maid brought in a tray, and the smell of fresh brewed coffee made my mouth water. I couldn't help myself and took a deep sniff of the coffee scent. I was fond of coffee, even if I'd tasted it only a few times before.

The gentleman must have noticed.

'Thank you Alice, would you mind bringing a second cup?' he asked the maid.

Less than a minute later she brought it and the gentleman smiled at me.

'Madame, would you do me the pleasure of sitting down and have a cup of coffee with me?'

I felt my cheeks grow hot and stammered, 'It would not be appropriate sir,' but he waved his arm. 'I know that and I don't want to make things difficult for you. It's just that I would like to share my coffee with someone else. Please, take a seat.'

And so I did.

The gentleman prepared the coffee, asking me about cream and sugar and presented me a cup.

'May I ask you your name?' he said.

'Yes sir, my name is Beth Perkins,' I said.

He smiled and took my hand.

'It's a pleasure to meet you, Beth. My name is Colonel Brandon.'

'I am honoured to meet you, milord,' I said, of course I knew who he was. He chuckled and told me he was to be addressed as 'colonel.'

'I'm sorry, mi.. colonel,' I said.

I sipped my coffee and it sent a blush to my cheeks, I so rarely drank it, and I enjoyed it immensely. The colonel noticed and smiled.

'What do you do for a living when you don't work here, Beth?' he asked me.

I admit I felt ashamed to tell him about our daily life, but I could sense he was a kind man and knew there was more in this world than mansions and shooting parties, so I decided to be honest with him.

'I live in a cottage with my husband,' I told him. 'He used to be a miner but he's too sick to work now. I take care of him. He receives a small pension and we grow vegetables and keep chicken and sell the eggs and greens. It's not much so I am happy to be able to work here during the season.'

'It must be a hard life,' the colonel mused, staring into the fire.

'I suppose it is, but we're used to it,' I answered. Then the clock chimed and I jumped in alarm.

'I'm sorry, I have to get on with my work, or the housekeeper will never let me do the guestrooms again…good day to you colonel, thank you for the coffee.'

He smiled at me. 'Ah, Mrs Hill is not one to cross, even on a good day. Thank you for your company, Beth,' he said gently.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

From that day on, I made sure the colonel's room was the last one on my cleaning list and every morning I found him there, having ordered coffee for two and waiting for my company to share it. To prevent me from having to answer to the housekeeper about taking too much time, he made his bed and cleaned his room himself.

'I am a soldier, Beth. I know how to take care of myself. That's why I enjoy your company. You're a welcome change to those posh lords and spoiled ladies.'

I just nodded at that, having no idea how the lords and ladies behaved, but I knew for sure they weren't anything like me. In a way I didn't understand myself, I began to feel sorry for the colonel. There was something so sad and lonely about him. When I told my husband he huffed, 'don't be silly, he's a rich man, no need for him to feel sad! He can buy anything he wants!' Of course he was right; the colonel must be a rich man. But somehow being rich didn't always mean being happy, I realised. My husband, who'd been a miner since he was fourteen and hadn't been able to leave our small garden the last five years due to his illness, had another view and I understood.

The colonel had been kind to me and had been one of the few to even notice me. So I became determined to find out what bothered him so much, and made him radiate a loneliness so fierce even I could sense it.

My first chance came when I walked to the estate one afternoon to deliver a large basket filled with eggs, French beans and parsley from my garden. Our hens were prolific, the eggs were good and Mrs McKellar, the cook, was a kind woman and she agreed to buy my eggs and any greens I had available. She paid me a fair price and I was grateful for her help. Mrs Hill didn't know, she wouldn't approve but Mrs McKellar told me not to worry; she could handle her, she said. I had no doubt she could.

On my way back I couldn't resist walking past the rose gardens. The roses were beautiful, in full bloom and I have to admit I planned to cut a few flowers to bring home. My husband loved them and used his last strength to tend to the small rosebush in our garden. I started when I heard laughter and voices at the other side of the thick bushes, and when I recognised the colonel's voice I pricked up my ears.

'No John. It's impossible.'

'Come on Brandon, cheer up! You're a good man, you know,' a voice I knew was sir John's answered gently.

'No, John. Marianne Dashwood would never love me the way I love her. Nor should she. I am an old man. She deserves someone better.'

'Heavens Brandon, you're thirty five, that's not old!'

'To her I am old, she is nineteen!'

'Yes, well, but…'

Crystal clinking, they poured themselves a drink and walked away.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

My word! I had to think about everything I heard and went home to fix myself a cup of tea.

Thankfully, my husband was asleep, he'd want to know what exited me like that and I wouldn't be able to explain it to him. I put the roses in a vase on his bedside table, and sat down at the kitchen table to have my tea.

Marianne Dashwood! So that was his sad secret. He pined for a lovely girl. I knew about the Dashwood ladies, of course I did. The first time was when I had my tea, just after breakfast. The maids were chattering and gossiping, and I remember feeling amused while I slobbered my hot, milky tea. Most of the noble guests had brought their own maids and valets, and some of the ladies maids were more snobbish than their employers ever would, and looked down at the Dashwood ladies. 'They may be related to his Lordship but good heavens, their clothes! So cheap, and so common! I'm glad I don't have to dress them, wouldn't know what to make of it, honestly,' one of the maids said haughtily. I chuckled to myself, assuming her to be a farmer's daughter like myself. It was true the girls weren't covered in beads and silly feathers, that's why they looked so nice and pretty, they were themselves and I realised that was exactly what Colonel Brandon liked about Marianne Dashwood.

Poor Colonel! It was clear he thought he never stood a chance. I felt very sorry for him and decided I would help him to get his girl.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The next day when we were having our morning coffee, I boldly asked him whether he was married. He gave me a sharp look, but then seemed to realise he'd asked me the same question and chuckled.

'You're something else, aren't you Beth. But you're right, I've been questioning you so you've earned the right to question me, now that we're coffee partners. So, no, I have never been married. Being a soldier sometimes does that to a man.'

'But now you have the time to court a lady,' I suggested.

'Yes, but now I am old,' he sighed.

'Old? I am old colonel, not you,' I smiled.

'And neither am I young Beth, you insolent woman,' he said while rising from his chair.

'Now, away with you or the dreadful Mrs Hill will hound you.'

That didn't go too bad, I decided. At least he hadn't sent me away for my impertinence, he seemed not to be very upset about it.

So I went on, and gradually he began to slip his feelings about his love interest, without ever mentioning her name.

'She is so young, Beth. And what have I to offer a woman?'

'For what it's worth Colonel, I think you have lots to offer any woman,' I said, fully expecting to be kicked out now for my boldness, but he laughed out loud.

'Too bad you're already married, Beth!' he told me. 'I would have your hand in marriage any day,' and he bowed to me and kissed my hand. 'Now, go away, wicked woman! You are becoming more cheeky by the day, I take it Mrs McKellar is rubbing off on you.'

When the season ended and the parties at the Manor left one by one, I felt sad. I had grown to actually like the Colonel and our daily talks over coffee, and I thought he deserved a loving wife. So on our last morning together, I told him what my granny always said. 'When you're at the end of your life, like me, you feel most sorry for things you didn't do, rather than for the things you did.' I had to agree, most of the decisions I regretted in my life involved things I didn't do. 'Your granny was a wise woman,' the Colonel smiled.

He shook my hand and presented me with a bank note that made my eyes pop out.

'I know you can use an extra, and I have enjoyed our coffee breaks and our chats more than you can imagine,' he told me. 'Please accept this Beth, as a thank you, with my best wishes for your future.'

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

That was two years ago. I never saw the Colonel again, but I was overjoyed when he married Marianne Dashwood. I would have attended the wedding, but at the time my husband's health had deteriorated so much already I couldn't leave him alone for more than an hour. And now he has died. Mrs McKellar and I are still friends, she visits me every now and then and she still buys my eggs and green herbs, for which I am grateful, she's been a real help. Even when I couldn't leave my husband alone, she send a maid to collect them.

It is a nice day, and I have brought my chair outside to have a cup of tea and enjoy the sun, when I hear a horse down the road. As I look up, Colonel Brandon dismounts.

'Good afternoon Beth,' he says with a smile. 'Good afternoon Colonel. Would you like a cup of tea?' I answer him, as if a colonel having tea in my front garden isn't anything unusual. I go inside to fetch my husband's tea cup and his chair, and he carries the chair out for me.

When tea is poured he starts to speak.

'You may have heard about my marriage to Miss Marianne, Beth, and I feel I have to thank your boldness for that,' he says.

'It was my pleasure, Colonel,' I tell him.

He chuckles. 'Good. Now Beth, I've heard about your loss and I want offer you my condolences. When I didn't see you work at the Manor anymore, I asked Mrs McKellar about you and she told me. She said the housekeeper had found someone else in your place and that's why I am here.'

I am sorry to hear that, but Mrs McKellar had already told me Mrs Hill was looking for another help so it isn't too big a shock. Still, I can't help letting out a deep sigh, for my prospects are very gloomy now. If Mrs Hill won't hire me, who will?

'I understand you're in a very difficult position Beth, that's why I have a proposal. You know, reverend and Mrs Ferrars, my wife's sister, are expecting their first child. I know they are in need of a good housekeeper. It's a small household but both of them are kept busy with their work for the community, so I believe it would be a perfect job for you. There's a maid for the heavy work. You have been taking care of your husband for years and managed to make ends meet, you're smart and have a good heart. Will you think about it?'

I can't believe my ears, and I feel a little dizzy.

'Why don't I pour us another cup of tea,' the Colonel says. 'I see this comes as a surprise. I have told Mr and Mrs Ferrars I might have a candidate and they were happy to hear that, but if you don't want the job you can say no, Beth. Don't feel obliged to accept.'

Again I sigh deeply, but how it's of relief and happiness.

'I'm not saying no, Colonel. I am happy to accept the job if Mr and Mrs Ferrars find me suitable. Thank you very much.'

'Good. I am glad I was able to help you, Beth. thank you for the tea. Good day to you!' and he mounted his horse and went.

Life is a strange thing.

THE END