Not a Halloween Special
[Opening theme: "Sobakasu", also known as the first opening of "Rurouni Kenshin".Look up the actual opening before reading.]
Daikirai datta sobakasu wo chotto [Stan appears on a boat,just like Kenshin Himura.]
Hitonade shite tame iki wo hitotsu
Hebii kyuu no koi wa migoto ni
Kakuzatou to issho ni toketa
Mae yori mo motto yaseta mune ni chotto [Wendy(Kaoru in the actual opening)trains as Bebe and a confused Kyle watch.]
"Chiku" tto sasaru toge ga itai
Hoshiuranai mo ate ni naranai wa
Motto tooku made [Kenny, like Sonosuke Sagara,cuts down two trees, but instead of a sword,he has a firearm.]
Issho ni yuketara nee
Ureshikute sore dake de[Cartman appears and stares at a river, then moves his head(Yahiko)]
Omoide wa itsumo kirei dakedo[Stan is looking around while Shelly, Dougie and Kevin are cornering him.]
Sore dake ja onaka ga suku no
Hontou wa setsunai[They all get easily defeated] yoru na no ni [Stan walks away as the screen slowly pans to the defeated enemies, including Pip, who is unconscious on a rock.]
Doushite kashira? [Stan goes back to his house and sees Kyle,Cartman,Kenny,Bebe and Wendy waiting for him.]
Ano hito no namida mo omoidasenai no
Omoidasenai no[Stan enters his house]
Dou... [Cut to the blue sky and the logo of South Park, Rurouni Kenshin style.]
[ bullets are heard and an unknown body is lying in the ground bleeding. Cut to The Main Four who are in the hallway.]
Stan:Oh my god!
Kyle:Did you hear that?
Kenny:(hm?)
Cartman:What?
Kyle:I heard a noise,I think it came from the classroom.
Stan:Maybe we should check it out.
[They head in to the classroom]
Cartman:OH MY GOD YOU GUYS!Someone dropped a pizza on the ground!*picks it up and eats it*
Stan:And some Doritos!
Kenny:(And a monster can!)
Kyle:You dumbasses,there's a dead guy in the ground.
Stan:What K-OH MY GOD A DEAD BODY!
Kyle:What should we do?
Cartman:Blame Craig?
[Wendy and Bebe enter the room]
Wendy:*Runs up to Stan*Hi Stan! Whatcha doi-AAAHHHH WHAT THE HELL?!
Bebe:Who killed him?
Cartman:Ky-
Kyle:None of us did.
*A scream is heard*
Stan:What was that?
Kyle:It sounded like a girl!
Cartman:Let's go Kenny,maybe it's a really hot chick!
Kenny:(Woo-hoo!)
[They all go to the they see someone stuck in a trash can. They all look dissapointed and Go Go Naruto plays in the background.]
Kyle: O_o
Kenny: ┭ _┮
Cartman:…God…fucking…dammit…
Wendy: Pathetic.
Bebe:…I-It's…Pip…stuck in a trash can?
Stan:Why is he, of all people, stuck in A GODDAMN TRASH CAN?!
Pip: Stanley, Kyle ,Eric ,Kenneth?Are you there?Could you please help me?I believe I am in a bin and I canno-
Everyone:SHUT UP PIP!
Cartman:Wait guys,I think we are not alone.
Wendy:What do you mean?
Cartman:You know, that the killer is stalking us.
Wendy:Well, if that's the case, then we'll have to leave immediately, and I'll go with my man Stan!*glances over him with bedroom eyes*
Bebe:I'll go too.
Kyle:Wait, what if Pip's the murderer?
Cartman:Hmm….Hey frenchie, are you the killer?
Pip:What?
Cartman:Ugh..*thinking: Goddamnit now I have to get him out…*
[Cartman gets Pip out of the trash can and they(Stan, Kyle ,Wendy and Bebe included) go into the classroom again]
Stan:Okay, so where was the dude?
Kyle:Right here, below this desk!
Cartman:Um,Kyle….are you blind?There is no body here.
Kyle:WHAT?
Wendy:It's true.
Stan:What the hell is going on?
[The lights go out]
Kyle:Literally what the fuck is this?
Bebe:Kyle I'm scared!
Kyle: Shush.
Stan:Guys calm down!
Kenny:(AAAH!)
[Lights turn on]
Kyle:Huh…what is-IS THIS BLOOD IN MY JACKET?!
Cartman:Look Kenny is on the floor.
Stan:Oh my god, somebody killed Kenny!
Kyle:You bastards!
Wendy:But who did it though?
Cartman:KYLE!
Kyle:Shut up fatass!
[Lights turn off again]
Pip:Oh dear, not again!
Stan:Calm down everyone!Some bad things might hap-
[Lights turn on again]
Stan:You guys Kenny is gone!
Cartman:This isn't funny dude!
Kyle:Let's get out of here!
[They go to the hallway again]
Kyle:Okay,if we want to survive we must split up!
Stan:But what if one of us is the killer?
Kyle:Then go with someone you like or/and trust.
Cartman: But Pip's with us, and nobody likes or trusts him.
Kyle:Well too bad,fatass. Now, I'll go with Stan, Wendy goes with Bebe and you go with Pip. Understood?
Wendy:Sounds good to me.
Pip:Oh Eric,we will have so much "fun" together…*winks*
Cartman:Kill me.
Kyle:So me and Stan go that way and you decide your ways.*walks away with Stan*
Pip:What should we do, Eric?*grabs his shoulder*
Cartman:DON'T TOUCH ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!We'll just leave this place.
Pip:Right-o!
[Meanwhile, Bebe and Wendy go to the principal's office]
Bebe:Hello?Is anyone there?
Wendy:There's no one here.
Bebe:This is so weird!
Wendy:Bebe, I think we should go talk to Stan and the others.
Bebe:Yup.
[Stan and Kyle are walking through the classrooms]
Kyle:Stan, there's nobody here either!
Stan:Did we check the janitor's office?
Kyle:No?
Stan:I guess we should we should check it out.
[A shadow lurks behind them]
Stan:I sense something.
Kyle:Wha-AAAAH!
[Cartman is trying to leave the school]
Cartman:Goddamnit The door is locked!
Pip:What should we do?
Cartman:How the hell should I know?
Pip:We should go to the library!
Cartman:What?
[Stan and Kyle run towards them]
Stan:Dude I lost Kyle!
Cartman:Good job Stan!Now we're both stuck with this perverted freak!
Pip:*Cling onto Stan*There is nothing perverted in liking other blokes, even when you are one yourse-
Stan:Can you just shut up already?
Cartman:Don't bother talking to that desperate anorexic dumbass Stan!Let's get the girls.
[Kyle is in the gym]
Kyle:Stan?Stan?
[A bunch of mats fall over him]
Wendy:Hey Bebe, did you hear anything?
Bebe:No,wh-Kyle!
Kyle:Hi.
Wendy:We'll help you Kyle![they get the mats that were over him]
Kyle:Now, you see that rope over there?I'm trying to go to the vents so I thought that maybe a rope might get me there.
Bebe:I'll get it down for you.
Wendy:Can you do it Bebe?
Bebe:Of course,I can even pull him up if he wants.
Wendy:Wait a minute, what happened to Stan?
Kyle:Actually…I don't know.
[Cartman,Pip and Stan are at the library and Cartman are sitting in a couch,while Pip is looking through some books.]
Pip:There it is,THERE IT IS!GREAT EXPECTATIONS!
Cartman:Kill me Stan.
Stan:Same.
Pip:I believe you have not read this masterpiece, but it is simply the greatest book ever written by the saviour of English literature,Charles Dickens!
Stan:Why do we have a library…
[Kyle,Bebe and Wendy enter the room.]
Kyle:Guys,you're here!
Pip:Thank goodness Kyle, I thought you were a goner!*clings onto Stan's shoulder*
Wendy:S-S-Stan?!Nevermind we'll talk later when we get this murderer in jail.
Kyle:GUYS WE NEED A PLAN!
Cartman:Ok,so what if…uh…Bebe and Pip are used as bait?
Bebe:I don't want to go with him!
Cartman:Neither did I!Now go as we figure something smarter.
Kyle:Cartman,don't do that to her!You know what I'm gonna go with them,and you three figure something out!
Wendy:Ok!
Cartman:That's a great idea!Goodbye forever Kyle!
Kyle:Fuck you fatass!Let's go you two.
[Kyle,Bebe and Pip are walking downstairs.]
Kyle:Okay Bebe you go to the gym,Pip you do the same. I'll try to catch the murderer.
Bebe:Okay!
Pip:Alrighty then!
Kyle:*alone*Okay,you piece of shit, where are y-YOU!
?:Hi Kyle.
Kyle:Wait, I know that voice.I…I can't believe you do this to us Kenny?
Kenny:It's just a prank bro.
Kyle:Oh god,I've got to tell the others about it!But where are they?
[Stan ,Wendy and Cartman are setting up a trap.]
Kyle:Guys,guys!I finally found you!
Cartman:Huh?
Kyle:It was just a prank and the killer was actually Kenny!
Kenny:Hi.
Stan:Dude you're really gonna get it if this doesn't get at least 100 views.
Kyle:Wait,where's the French dude?
Cartman:He went to the police department.
*Pip enters with 10 cops behind him*
Pip:Stop right there,lad!We are-
Stan:Shut up it was just a prank!
Pip:W-What?
Kyle:Yeah,it's over.
Pip:*defeated*But I…I*gets kicked in the jaw by Cartman*
Cartman:There you go.
[Some hours later,the students are standing outside of the school is with Wendy,Kyle and Bebe,and Butters is with Pip.]
Stan:Now that this fiasco is over,what are we gonna do?
Wendy:How about we go on a date together Stan?I'll give you "something" later.
Stan:Hell yeah!
Kyle:I'm gonna get a burrito.
Bebe:Can I go with you Kyle?
Kyle:No.*walks away*
Cartman:*yawns*I need a nap.
[Ending song:It's gonna rain/Rurouni Kenshin's fourth ending.]
Ashidori mo karukushite chao chao
Torumono mo toriaezu chao chao
Raion ga unaru mitai no raimei ga
Taisan wo unagashite iru
Dou naru no?
Sou...mou sugu ame
Dai kirai ame nanka chao chao
Mou sukoshi itai noni
Kaikan ga kaisan ni kawaru shunkan wo
Raion ga isogaseta no wa
Meihaku No! Meiwaku
It's gonna rain!
Ame wa mou aribai wo kesu no?
Kare wa mou wasurete shimau no?
Futari wa mou korekiri ni naru no?
Subete wa ame no seitte koto ni shite okou
It's gonna rain!