Finding happiness
It had been almost 5 months since John had found out about his wife Mary's secret and that she had shot Sherlock. Magnussen was after that shot by Sherlock but since Mycroft knew that England always needed Sherlock they had come up with a fake story about Magnussen having a gun and being a threat to everyone. Sherlock was therefore a free man with no record and had gone back to Baker Street to continue his work as a detective. John also helped out once in a while but he hadn't seen Sherlock for over 3 months now. Every time he tried to call him no one answered. And not more than 20 minutes ago he had a big fight with Mary. He could still hear every word they had said echoing in his head.
"John! Why isn't the laundry done? I thought I told you about it yesterday that I needed some of the clothes today!" Mary said and came into the living room where John was sitting.
"I've been working since this morning and I just came back home, how am I supposed to have time doing laundry?"
"You could have done it when I told you to!"
"Please Mary, not now. I'm not in the mood"
"Not in the mood?! Not in the mood?! Well then what the hell am I?! I am pregnant you moron!"
"I know that! I try to do as much as possible at home to help you but I still have work to do! I need to work to keep this family going!"
"Well obviously you're not doing a good job then!"
"Then what the bloody hell do you suggest I do?!"
"Oh well I don't know…..maybe care for your pregnant wife?!"
"I do care! I care for you and for the child!"
"Oh please John, I can see that you avoid being at home!"
"Sometimes yes! I'm tired of working and then coming home late to a wife who nags at me every bloody minute! I can never get a rest!"
"So you go to Sherlock's place then to get a nap or what?!"
"Yes because he's my friend and he doesn't ask me every second where I have been, what I was doing or who I've been meeting!"
"I am your wife so I have the right to know that!"
"A man needs privacy as well!"
"Oh please John, grow up!"
"Fine! If you're not happy with me then why don't find yourself another man?!"
"I did!" Mary screamed back so John froze. He just stood there frozen and with his mind going blank.
"….what?"
"I DID find another man! The day you tried to propose to me I was with him during the entire day having sex at a hotel before going to meet you!"
"You cheated on me?"
"Yes because I thought you were boring as hell so I had to find me another guy but he left me so I had no other choice but to marry you because of the baby!"
"So you're only staying because I'm the father?"
"You're not the father! The other guy is but he left me when he found out so I had to have someone who would pay for the baby's school and all and you were the only one at that time so what choice did I have?!"
John felt his fists reacting and anger started to build up inside him. "Then what about what you said at that time when Sherlock showed me your secret? 'I will do anything to stop John from finding out about this'. Was that a lie?"
"Of course it was a lie! You knew about the baby and stupid enough thought the baby was yours so of course you couldn't leave me! Besides I was acting everything else just to get you attached to me!"
"Then why the hell did you shoot Sherlock for?!" John roared in anger.
"Because he was in my way!"
"He said you shot him to save his life!"
"Save his life? Don't make me laugh, I was trying to kill him without you knowing it!" John felt his control soon would snap. This woman….had actually tried to kill…..his best friend, on purpose. "I was aiming for his heart but just as I shot him Magnussen made a noise behind me so my hand slipped! Otherwise he would have been dead by now"
"You…..you…BITCH! You tried to kill my best friend!" John screamed at her. He felt like punching something but managed to at least control that part.
"He was in my way to get to you! I saw from the very first beginning what his relation to you was and I had to stop him from doing anything about it otherwise it would ruin my plan!"
"How the hell could he have been in your bloody way?!"
"Because even though you have never realized it that idiot actually loves you and was probably trying to tell you that night when he came back but he saw me there! I had to make sure he wouldn't get in my way but no, he would still try to get your attention with cases and help out for the wedding so he could be close to you! He's a bloody faggot and a nasty one so the night at Magnussen's office I decided to kill him" Mary said and smiled like it meant nothing to her. "Having him dead would mean you would stay with me for the rest of our lives, you would come to me for support, I would have you around my fingers like a doll and would have been able to make you do whatever I wanted without him interrupting"
John was mad before but now he was totally furious. She had actually been trying to kill Sherlock. Just the thought of Sherlock dead, not being in John's life anymore made his heart almost brake. He couldn't go another two years thinking Sherlock was dead, not even a minute. He needed Sherlock in his life.
"You…..are no longer my wife or anything like that. You are not even a human being" John said with a cold voice. "I don't know you and I never want to see you again. I will not take responsibility for the child and I will never come back here. I will start to pack my things immediately and before I leave I want us both to have signed the divorce papers"
"Fine, I don't want you anyway"
"I know" John said before going down to the basement getting some boxes. He put the boxes in the living room and started packing his things. He was trying to focus but there was one thing in his mind Mary said that kept coming back to him. 'Sherlock loves you'. Sure he was hurt and angry because she lied about her feelings for him and about the baby but for some reason those three words were the only thing he could think off at that moment.
And now, here he was standing outside of Baker Street with nowhere to go, no wife, no baby and trying to find a place to stay at for a while. He didn't know what to say to Sherlock about the bags and all but he didn't know anywhere else to go.
"John?" he then heard a voice say and looked behind him. Sherlock had just arrived in a taxi when he saw him.
"Sherlock" John answered.
"What are you doing here? Everything alright?" Sherlock asked but then saw the boxes and the rest of his luggage. "Well, no use talking out here, let's go inside shall we?" Sherlock then helped get John's luggage inside the flat before they both sighed out and sat down in their own chairs.
"Sorry…..for dropping by just like that with luggage and all" John then said.
"No worries"
"I thought that maybe you had someone you lived together with so I was worried I was going to be a burden"
"Not at all" Sherlock said and smiled. "Now, what happened between you and Mary?"
"No delicacy then?" John said and looked at Sherlock who grinned. That was Sherlock in a nutshell and he would never change. "Fine, I'll then you. Me and Mary had a little domestic…."
"Ohh would we really call it a little domestic? You have left home you know"
"…fine, we have a big fight then, better?" Sherlock nodded. "We had a big fight, yelled and screamed at each other and she told me three things that made me mad that I asked for a divorce and well, here I am"
"What three things?"
"First of all, the baby isn't mine. She was cheating on me during the time we went out. Second, the baby is therefore that guy's and not mine so I am not becoming a father. She only stayed with me because she thought I was stupid enough to believe it and keep on paying money for school and all when it would grow older"
"I see"
"Sherlock" John warned.
"Sorry, keep going. The third?"
"The third was that she had actually tried to kill you that night at the office. You thought that she saved your life and you let me think so too but she said that if Magnussen didn't make that noise at that time you would be dead because her hand slipped. She was aiming at your heart" John said and clenched his fists together.
Sherlock just sat quiet for a while. "I'm sorry John"
"For what?"
"For what you have been through with her, it's my entire fault"
"What? Sherlock, it's not your fault. Why do you think it's your fault?"
"Because I knew from the beginning that she was a liar and had secrets. I also knew that she was aiming for my heart and that she was trying to kill me at that time, but knowing how happy you were with her at that time just made me unable to tell you the truth, well, not all of it at least" John looked angry now so Sherlock was almost ready for an outburst, but nothing came. He then looked at John who was staring at him.
"Sherlock, you could have died, for real that time" he then whispered. Sherlock heard that his voice was trembling. "And didn't it occur to you that if she tried to kill you she was going after me as well?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Because when she shot me I could feel hatred and jealousy from her. That only meant that I was a burden to her and I was in the way for something she wanted for herself"
"So you just stood there and let her shoot you? I could have lost you Sherlock!" John said and Sherlock gasped. John's eyes had tears in them.
"I know, I'm sorry" Sherlock said with a deep voice.
"Do not….ever again, sacrifice yourself for me. Never again!"
"I…"
"Sherlock, I can't bear to lose you again. I thought you were dead those two years and then suddenly you just pop up like nothing happened. Did you even know how that felt for me? I thought that the dearest person to me was dead. That you who had helped me get back up on my feet again, who had become my best friend and all was gone for good. And even though you put me through those two years of hell you let me be with Mary who you knew was a liar. Why didn't you tell me about any of this? Can't you trust me at all?!"
"I only want you to be happy John!" Sherlock said so John calmed down and looked at him. "That's the only thing I have wanted for, for you to find a life you wish for, find a partner and marry and be happy, that's all. If I had to disappear for two years to make that happen I would, and I did. And I trust you the most in the entire world, you know it's true"
A tear then fell from John's eyes and he wiped it away. "I know, but it still hurt. I seriously don't care that Mary lied to me about it all, hell I am actually glad I found a reason to leave" Sherlock looked at him confused. "She actually told me one thing that I didn't know about you" Sherlock's body reacted to John's tone and he was about to get up and go away when John moved so he was now standing over Sherlock and holding his arms on his so he couldn't escape. "You love me, don't you?" Sherlock swallowed. "That was why you didn't tell me about Mary, why you wanted me to be happy, why you almost got yourself killed and why you faked your own death…because you bloody love me and try to make me happy another way and make sure I am safe than to tell me about your real feelings"
"Why would I do that?" Sherlock then asked.
"Because you are an idiot" John said and Sherlock then remembered their first case when John had said the exact thing to him.
"And why would I say anything IF I loved you?"
"Because after all the pain you have put me through you owe me at least the truth" John then looked deep into Sherlock's eyes and for the first time he saw fear and insecurity there. He didn't mean to push it but right now he couldn't control himself. He wanted to hear the real truth from Sherlock's own mouth. He didn't even know why he even said these things but he knew that the pain from those two years was still hurting him inside.
Sherlock swallowed once again, John noticed that he was nervous. "The truth…..is….."
"Is…..?" John said so Sherlock looked him deep in the eyes.
"I love you and have since the first day we met. I couldn't bear loosing you by telling you my feelings so I pushed you towards Mary instead and hoped she would hide her true self and give you happiness instead of me. If I didn't fake my death that time you would have been shot and dead by now. I wanted to make sure that Moriarty's men and network was completely lost before returning to you so that I wouldn't put you in danger anymore just by being close to me"
"You're really thickheaded" John sighed out before looking at Sherlock again. "Pay for it"
"What?"
"The pain you have given me all this time, pay for it"
"With what? Money? Help to find new girlfriend?"
"With your body" As soon John said that Sherlock's body shivered with John felt since he was still holding his arms down. "Do you know why you hurt me at that time?"
"I was supposed to be a good friend but I didn't tell you?"
"Because I love you too you moron" John said before clashing their lips together. Sherlock wasn't ready at all so when he felt John's lips caressing his own like that he couldn't help but moan loudly. John took the opportunity to push his tongue inside his mouth which he did. Sherlock's mouth was delicious and John knew he could easily get addicted to it.
When they released each other to catch some air Sherlock's cheeks were flushed and his breathing faster. John felt all of it was a huge turn on and knew his cock was growing inside his pants. They then started kissing again, this time with more passion and calmly, just to taste each other. John then put one of his hands under Sherlock's shirt and started playing with his nipples which made Sherlock groan out. He put his arms around John's neck to get their mouth even closer, if that was even possible.
John continued to caress Sherlock's nipples before ripping open his shirt completely. It seemed to have a positive effect on Sherlock since he moaned and arched into John as to he wanted more. John looked at it like that and now attacked the nipples again, this time with his mouth. He started biting, sucking and mostly everything on Sherlock's nipples and the black haired man couldn't do anything else but to moan, groan and dug his hands in John's hair. However with Sherlock still sitting in his chair and John was on his knees he felt the urge t change the place so it would be more comfortable, for both of them. He stood up before grabbing Sherlock's shirt, dragging him up and then pressing him against nearest wall while pushing his tongue down his throat.
Sherlock felt as if he was in heaven. John kissing him, touching him and everything made him completely lose his mind. He had never really had sex before with either man or woman so he was new on the practical part but seeing as John was in charge he only followed his lead, mostly. The excitement he felt was amazing and since he wanted to share it with John he put his arms between his and John's body, unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock in daylight so John moaned.
"Sherlock….!" John groaned and started bucking his hips against him. Sherlock started moving his hand up and down John's erection and it felt amazing for both of them. Of course John couldn't control himself for long so to hold him from his orgasm he grabbed Sherlock's face and once again smashed their lips together. He then with one hand grabbed Sherlock's body from the back and started moving them towards Sherlock's room and his bed before falling down on it together. John then kneeled over Sherlock and they looked at each other.
"You're turned on" John teased and looked at Sherlock's groin. He could clearly see the erection, trying to get out. "Strip, NOW" Sherlock nodded before they started kissing again and removing each other's clothes. They were now butt naked, horny as hell and ready for more action. John couldn't help looking at Sherlock up and down at his amazing body. He was slim but muscular, white creamy skin and oh my god those cheekbones with those eyes! Holy shit! His eyes then went down to his erection and just as he thought, he was a big boy.
He pushed Sherlock down on the bed again before laying his own body on top. Their erections met and both groaned loudly. John then started moving their bodies together and rocked back and forth to get more of the wonderful friction. Sherlock seemed to enjoy it as well since he never stopped making noises.
"J-John….I'm…oh my god! I'm….!"
"About to cum?" John whispered in his ear. Sherlock couldn't answer so he only nodded. John then took away his weight from Sherlock's body before going down to his erection and started sucking hard.
"Bloody hell John!" John sucked and licked hard until Sherlock came while screaming out his name. He collapsed against his pillows while breathing hard as if he had ran 100 laps around the house.
"Felt good?" John then said with a seducing voice. Sherlock couldn't talk since it had been the best blowjob in his life and the first ever plus his orgasm was lasting for quite some time so he only nodded. "You have any lube nearby?" Sherlock moved his eyes to look to the left. John followed his eyes and searched in the drawers and finally found a small tube. "Don't want you getting hurt by this so we will need it" He coated his fingers with it before leaning over Sherlock again, this time attacking his neck. At the same time one of his fingers entered Sherlock and started moving around, Sherlock felt it and grabbed a hold onto John. And with John sucking, licking and biting at his neck he relaxed at the intrusion so John could keep going. Soon the second and third finger joined and started stretching him wider. When the fourth finger entered John found a soft place inside and pressed him. Sherlock jolted like thunder had just struck him and groaned loudly.
"Holy shit! Do that again!" Sherlock moaned and started touching his hands all over John's body just to feel it all while John was doing amazing things to his neck and opening. John smirked, he started pressing Sherlock's special place again until he felt he was stretched enough. He then removed his fingers and looked at Sherlock's face again. Damn he was sexy like that! The hair was messy, lips swollen, cheeks flushed and all sweaty. John didn't think he could be more turned on than he already was but seems like he was wrong.
He lifted Sherlock's hips, coated his own erection with the lube before entering him. Sherlock gasped at the intrusion but tried to relax bit by bit. "Sherlock, I don't want to hurt you, try to relax" John whispered near his ear. Sherlock nodded and did his best as John continued going deeper until he was fully inside of him. He then stopped and looked at Sherlock. "You ok?"
"Y-Yeah…..it just…feels a bit…..weird"
"I know" John said and started kissing his face. "It will get better soon, I promise, just try to relax and tell me what you want, I want you to feel better" Sherlock moaned and nodded again. When the pain started going away he pressed at John's arms as a sign that he was ready. John then started slowly moving his hips back and forth letting Sherlock feel his erection going in and out of him. After a while Sherlock grabbed John's ass as to trying to push him further inside of him.
"More….please" he gasped out. John smiled and kissed him hard while started to move faster. Sherlock couldn't do more than whimper, moan and to kiss John back with all the love he felt for him. He started to feel dizzy because of the heat and the pleasure since he felt his orgasm was coming near. John who noticed Sherlock started to breath faster knew he was coming closer and started therefore slamming their bodies together. Sherlock who wasn't ready for that gasped out something that sounded like John's name before clinging on to the sheets and breathing faster and faster. After ramming their bodies together for another ten or eleven times they had the best orgasm of their lives. When John felt he had emptied himself inside Sherlock he pulled out and lay down next to him.
"That…..was amazing" Sherlock then said so John smiled for himself.
"You have another ten seconds to rest before we're doing it again" Sherlock then looked at him. "What? You thought it was over already? No no. I haven't received your body enough for the payback you owe me and you haven't gotten as much pleasure as I want to give you for these years that I didn't say something to you as well so on your stomach, now!" Sherlock couldn't do anything else but to obey him.
John had sex with Sherlock from behind, in the sitting position, against the wall, riding each other, on the table, in the shower against the wall and then twice in the bed again before he felt that is was alright for that day. John had Sherlock's body enough for a payback and he enjoyed it as much as Sherlock so they were even now according to him. He had made Sherlock come every time and hard as well but he had enjoyed every second of it. Sherlock had each time screamed out John's name and now after all the sex he was exhausted in a positive way.
They lay in Sherlock's bed with Sherlock eyes closed and John caressing his hair sweetly. Sherlock then opened his eyes. "John"
"Hm?"
"If I can't walk tomorrow if there's a crime, what do we tell Detective Inspector?"
"Why not tell him the truth instead of hiding it?"
"You don't mind being with me then?"
"Sherlock, why would I mind being with the one person I truly love?"
"….status?"
John laughed. "Moron, now go to sleep. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow"
"Why?"
"We have to tell Mrs Hudson, Greg, Molly and everyone we know about us dating now, I have to unpack my things and all and then I have to write it on my blog as a new update"
"You write about this on your blog and I will seriously kill you" Sherlock laughed.
"Well ok maybe not but still, a lot to do. And in case your bum would hurt tomorrow I have some tubes in my belongings that can help, I am a doctor after all"
"A gay doctor who had sex with his best friend….."
"…..and wouldn't trade it for anything else"
Both of them then fell asleep with arms around each other and smiling since they now knew they had found what they had been looking for their entire lives. Real happiness and love.