Freedom
[Edmund PevensiexF!Reader] [One-Shot]
(y/n) leaned against the railing, watching the last of the sun's rays reflect off the water and letting a cool ocean breeze blow her hair back. Ever since she was little, she'd loved being at sea, almost being able to sail before she could walk. With the direction her life was headed in now, she had to wonder if she'd still have the freedom to travel the vast blue like she was oh so used to, or if her adventures on the Dawn Treader would be her last journey.
"Is everything alright?" a voice from behind her asked, making her jump a little.
A moment later, Caspian joined her.
"Y-Yes, I'm fine." she quickly answered avoiding his inquisitive gaze.
"Let me guess: This is about our… arrangement?" he questioned.
She didn't answer, but simply shrugged.
"I know this isn't easy for either of us, but don't you think it's what's best for our countries?"
"Maybe. Maybe it is…" she mused, more to herself than him, while turning the silver diamond ring on her left hand thoughtfully.
It's not like she hadn't proposed a simple business relationship, but her country's views were rather… antique and backwards. For a woman to achieve anything in the government of any country, she had to marry a good and wealthy man. It was out of the question that Caspian was a good man and a great king. And in the time she'd spent with him, she'd come to consider him a very good friend. But could he ever become a romantic partner or a lover to her? Would she maybe learn to love him in time?
A week later and she was certain she wouldn't be falling for Caspian any time soon. The reason: She found herself falling head over heels for someone else. His name was Edmund, one of the kings of the Golden Age of Narnia. She'd heard the story of how him and his siblings had helped Caspian claim the throne from his uncle, but she'd never expected to meet any of them. Nonetheless, the castaways they'd fished out of the sea, were none other than the Just King and the Valiant Queen.
Edmund was smart, courageous, witty and sarcastic, not to mention basically the personification of the phrase 'tall, dark and handsome'.
Little did she know that he thought about her in a similar fashion. Kind, adventurous, a sassy remark always at the ready and breathtakingly beautiful. Of course he fell for her. To say he was disappointed when he figured out that she was engaged to Caspian would be an understatement. Still, he cherished every opportunity that he got to spend time with her.
Edmund had been woken up by another nightmare and, unable to go back to sleep, had decided that some fresh air would do him good. Imagine his surprise when he found (y/n) sitting on top of the dragon figurehead all on her own in the middle of the night.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked while approaching her.
"Shouldn't you be, too?" she retaliated.
"Nightmare. What's your excuse?" he simply said.
"Too much going on in my mind to find any rest."
"Maybe I could help? If you don't mind sharing your troubles, that is." he proposed. He didn't like seeing her distraught over anything.
She looked at him over her shoulder, her (e/c) sparkling in the moonlight and just regarded him for a bit.
"Actually, I think you might be able to." she finally said and turned around to face him properly. "From what I've heard and seen, you're a wise man, you're not called 'The Just' for nothing. So tell me: If a decision leads to either the country or the ruler being unhappy, you have to go with the latter, right? Do what's best for your country?"
He thought about it for a moment.
"Not necessarily, no. In my experience, unhappy rulers eventually lead to unhappy countries and then you'll be off worse than before."
"I see…" she said thoughtfully.
He just couldn't stop himself from asking his next question: "Not to seem nosy or intrusive, but this wouldn't happen to have anything to do with your engagement to Caspian?"
She hesitated just for a bit before nodding.
"To be honest, you could have it worse. Caspian is a good man." He almost kicked himself for saying that.
"So everybody keeps telling me…" she sighed and hopped down onto the deck to stand in front of him. "And I know he is. It doesn't change the fact that I'm in love with someone else."
Edmund's eyes widened at that.
"You are? Then why did you agree to this in the first place?"
"Because I've only know the other guy for a couple of weeks now." she stated, looking straight into his eyes; where she could almost see all the pieces falling into place in his mind.
"That's one lucky guy." he said and leaned closer to her.
"Yes, I'd say he is." she answered and pulled him in for a kiss.
She didn't like going behind everyone's backs. Especially Caspian's. She didn't want to hurt him, she'd never meant for this to happen in the first place, but being with Edmund was the happiest she'd been in a long time. Stealing kisses when they knew nobody was watching, meeting in secret in the middle of the night when one of them was on watch duty and just joking with each other. She remembered how good it felt to have his arms around her after she'd almost been sold into slavery on one of the islands. Or how he instinctively had grabbed her hand when Coriakin had warned them about how the darkness would mess with their minds.
(y/n) was huddled up in the crow's nest, a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders, keeping a lookout for anything suspicious. A noise from below caught her attention and she peeked over the edge, unable to see anything. A moment later, Edmund's head popped up in front of her, making her stumble back with a small yelp.
"By the lion, you almost gave me a heart attack, Pevensie!" she hissed.
"Sorry, just thought you'd like some company." he chuckled while climbing in and sitting down next to her.
He wrapped one of the blankets he had with him around himself and the other one around both of them, pulling her as close as possible. She immediately snuggled into his side, heaving a sigh of contentment. They stayed like that for a while, simply happy with the other being there, until Edmund decided to speak up.
"You know, I've been thinking."
"About what?"
"About us. Maybe… Maybe we should end it."
She sat up in the blink of an eye, staring at him incredulously.
"W-What? Why? If it's something I did, then–"
"No, no, by Aslan, no!" he immediately interrupted her. "It's just… I'm gonna have to leave again. I don't know when, but I know I'll have to. And I just… I don't want to hurt you when I do…"
"So you think hurting me now is better?"
"No! I just… I don't know… I don't want to see you crying about someone you know you can't be with forever, when you have another good man already waiting for you."
"The first time you were here, you got to stay for years. Who's to say that won't happen again?" she offered. He stayed silent.
"And even if it won't go that way: I want to cherish every moment I get to have with you, even if it ends in heartbreak." She placed a hand on his cheek and forced him to look at her. "You're worth it."
He smiled at that and pecked her lips gently.
"If you think so. But don't say I didn't warn you."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." she waved him off, returning to her previous position by his side, wrapping her arms around his middle.
Just when the sun had almost fully appeared, they climbed down back onto the deck, (y/n) stealing one last kiss from him before she knew the crew would wake up and start their day.
A few hours later, they spotted land not too far off, deciding to check out the island and try to restock their supplies. Splitting off into parties, Caspian, Edmund, Lucy and (y/n) found a rift in between the rocky surface of the island, with a rope leading down.
"I don't think we should go down there…" the (h/c) haired girl stated carefully.
"Why not?" Lucy asked.
"I don't know. I just have a really bad feeling about it…" she answered.
"That may be, but one of the lords might've been here and if so, we need his sword." Caspian simply said and started his descend down the rope.
She gave an exasperated sigh and stubbornly decided to go down last. About halfway down, she took a look at the wall right in front of her, her eyes widening in horror. In shock, she let go of the rope and would've been sure to hit the ground hard, if not for two strong arms catching her.
"What the hell happened?!" a familiar voice asked and looking up, she found concern etched all over Edmund's features.
"S-Spider…" she stuttered out.
He stared at her for a moment and simply blinked before saying: "You're telling me you're fine with storms tearing our ship apart, monsters attacking us on every island and fighting off slave traders, but spiders are a problem?"
She straightened herself up before answering, looking him in the eyes defiantly.
"Everybody has a rather irrational fear that just won't let them go, alright?"
"I see… So you do realize that the crawler that threw you off the wall is now sitting on your left arm…?"
"What?!" she yelled, immediately checking her arm for the eight legged beast, but finding nothing. With a glare, she turned towards Edmund who was having the time of his life laughing at her and elbowed him in the ribs.
"That was not funny."
"I thought it was."
"Of course you did…" she hissed and brushed past him, but he grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to him.
"Hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. It's just kind of hard to comprehend that someone as strong and brave as you is scared of something so small."
"Traumatic childhood experience." she said and relaxed into his embrace. "And I guess it is a bit pathetic."
He switched positions, so he was at her side and wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to her temple.
"I never said that, I was just surprised. Being afraid of something, no matter what it is, is perfectly normal."
"What's taking you guys so long?" Lucy asked, appearing around the corner in front of them.
In an instant, Edmund regretfully let go of her and she immediately missed his warm touch.
"Just making sure the scaredy cat's safe." he said laughing.
She punched his shoulder for that.
"You're an ass." she said, but couldn't help but smile a bit, receiving a smirk from him in return.
The two of them followed Lucy down the winding cave, trying to ignore the suspicious glances she kept sneaking at them and joined Caspian at the edge of a small pond.
"What did you find?" (y/n) asked while taking a step closer to the water and nearly doing a double take when the solid gold statue of a man stared back at her.
"Lord Restimar." Caspian said grimly, obviously not too happy with finding another one of his father's friends dead. He looked at a shiny object lying on a stone next to the lord. "We need his sword. But whatever you do, don't touch the water."
"What happened to him…?" Edmund asked carefully, while unsheathing his sword and using it to reach for the twin blade in the water.
"This pond turns everything it touches to gold." Lucy explained.
"Poor Lord. He must've fallen in…" (y/n) stated with a wary expression.
"Maybe." Edmund answered and handed the sword from the pool to Caspian. "Or maybe he was onto something."
He grabbed a shell from the edge of the water and quickly dipped it into the water, before putting it down; the four of them watching as it turned to gold. Edmund picked it back up, the sun shining through the cracks in the cave's ceiling hitting the shell, casting glittering, golden flecks of light across his face; his expression changing from curious to something much darker.
"Whoever has access to this pool, could be the most powerful person in the world. Lucy, we'd be so rich. No one could tell us what to do, or who to live with."
"You can't take anything out of Narnia, Edmund." Caspian interjected.
The brunette crouching on front of the water scoffed.
"Says who?"
"I do."
(y/n) noticed Edmund's grip around the hilt of his sword tightening; an uneasy feeling settling in the pit of her stomach.
"I'm not your subject." he growled.
Caspian narrowed his eyes at the Just King.
"You've been waiting for this, haven't you? To challenge me, you doubt my leadership."
"You doubt yourself."
"You're a child!"
"And you're a spineless sap!"
Lucy hadn't seen her brother act like this, not since the whole fiasco with the White Witch. She knew that it was the fog affecting him, but she still didn't like seeing him this way.
"Edmund–" she tried, reaching for his arm, but he pushed her away, causing her to stumble; (y/n) catching her with wide eyes. Edmund loved his sister. And Caspian usually was calmness personified. Something was beyond wrong.
"I'm tired of playing second fiddle!" Edmund shouted. "First it was Peter and now it's you. You know I'm braver than both of you! And why do you get Peter's sword? I deserve a kingdom of my own, I deserve to rule!"
"If you think you're so brave…" Caspian said dangerously quiet.
"Then prove it!" he drew his sword and swung it, Edmund barely being able to parry with the one still in his hand.
Enough was enough. (y/n) unsheathed her own sword, waiting for an opening to step between the two, which presented itself rather quickly. She blocked a hit from Caspian's sword, making the mistake of turning her back to Edmund.
"Stop it!" she yelled. "Can't you see what's hap–"
She never finished her sentence, as a sharp pain exploded on her right side, making her cry out. She looked down and saw a gash on her tunic, the tattered cloth slowly turning red. Metal clattered against stone and she turned around to find a bloodied sword on the ground; Edmund looking between her and his own hands in complete and utter horror. The shock of hurting her had been enough to finally cause the dark force that had taken a hold of his mind to let go.
'Something good coming out of this, at least.' the (h/c) haired girl thought bitterly.
"(Y/N)!" Lucy screamed, running to her side, already reaching for the healing cordial on her belt. Caspian had sheathed his sword by now and had an arm around her waist, steadying her.
"Are you alright?!" he asked in a frenzy.
"I'm fine, don't worry, I've had worse. But are you two back to normal? You really scared me for a moment there." she asked, giving the two males a once-over.
Caspian nodded and gave her a small smile. Edmund, however, couldn't even meet her eyes.
They'd tried to usher her back to the ship to rest, even after Lucy had healed her, but when it became clear that Eustace was missing, she'd insisted on staying and helping with the search. Also, she did not plan on leaving Edmund and Caspian alone again, not after what they'd just pulled.
So the three of them started tracking the island, calling the blond boy's name. At one point, (y/n) had tried hanging back with Edmund to talk about what had happened, but he'd simply brushed her off, mumbling something about giving priority to his cousin. It was obvious he was trying to get out of it, although his reasoning was understandable; what had hurt her was how he still wasn't able to hold her gaze and how he'd flinched away from her touch. She got that he was upset about his own behavior, but avoiding it wasn't going to help.
She was just about to try again when Caspian called out to them. They hurried down the slope covered in treasure and joined him in the small valley, where he was standing in front of a pile of charred clothing, smoke still rising from it.
"No!" Edmund cried out, falling to his knees. He started digging through the fabric, pulling out the tattered remains of Eustace's journal.
"He was just a boy… I never should've left him…" he mused, more so to himself than the other people present.
(y/n) dropped to her knees beside him and pulled him into a hug. He didn't pull away this time.
Thinking the young boy lost and having found another sword, the party saw no reason to stay on the island any longer and made their way back to the beach. The soon-to-be-queen hadn't let go of Edmund's hand ever since they'd climbed back up the slope. Sure it was risky with Caspian around, but he'd just lost a part of his family, no matter how annoying that part might've been, so she didn't really care.
"It's not your fault." she whispered, not only referring to Eustace, but also to what had transpired earlier.
She wasn't sure if he was aware of that underlying meaning, but she knew him well enough by now to know that he'd blame himself no matter what she said. He made that clear by pulling his hand away from hers and shaking his head, chucking the swords into the boat with a loud clang.
Right when she was about to say something else, Caspian shouted both of their names in panic. She didn't even have enough time to turn around. A giant shadow swept over them, accompanied by the flap of an enormous pair of wings. A moment later, the young king previously beside her was gone, clutched in the claws of the fire-breathing monster.
"Edmund!" she screamed at the top of her lungs; reaching for her sword and wanting to pursue the dragon, but Caspian held her back.
"(y/n), wait!" he said, grabbing her forearms. She trashed against him and tried to break free.
"We've got to do something!"
"And we will! But running after that thing, brandishing our swords won't help!" he yelled, placing a hand on her shoulder and using the other to lift her head and make her look at him. "We'll think of something, just calm down okay?"
She took a couple of deep breaths and nodded. "Yeah, okay."
As it turned out, they did not have to think of a solution themselves. Not much later, the dragon returned, with Edmund completely unharmed. At first, (y/n) hadn't even cared why, she'd simply thrown her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, mumbling about how worried she'd been. He'd only hesitated for a moment before returning her hug and saying how he'd never been in any real danger; athough she, and everybody else, had had a bit of trouble believing that the dragon was actually Eustace. So a couple of hours later, they were still stuck on the island, trying to figure out a solution for this whole situation; all of them huddled around a campfire, trying to find some sleep. All except one.
"Have you seen Edmund?" (y/n) asked Caspian in a worried tone. He'd walked off a while ago and still hadn't come back.
"Can't say I have. Maybe he just needs some space." he suggested.
"Maybe… still, I'll go look for him." she stated firmly and started to get up.
"I will come with you." Caspian said and wanted to follow her example but she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"No, I've got this. Just get some rest." And that was the end of the discussion.
The island wasn't all that big and she'd already seen most of it when they were searching for Eustace, yet she had no idea where she was even supposed to start looking. But luck seemed to be on her side today, as, not much later, she found the boy in question sitting on a cliff, his legs dangling over the edge, his gaze directed at the stars above.
"There you are, we've been worried." she stated and sat down next to him.
"Why?"
"What do you mean why? You were gone all of a sudden, of course we were worried. Especially after the whole dragon fiasco."
"No, I mean, why were you worried?"
"Because that's what a girlfriend does…?"
"I almost killed you earlier, I'm pretty sure something like that usually equals a break up." he said, grabbing a pebble from beside him and chucking it into the darkness below.
She groaned in dismay.
"For all it's worth, I've had it up to here with your brooding, Ed. You made a mistake and I know you're sorry but sitting here and wallowing in self pity instead of talking to someone isn't going to help!" she said angrily.
He stayed silent and turned his head away from her, making her regret how she'd phrased her last sentence. Ok, so yelling at him might not've been the best idea. Time to change the subject at least slightly.
"Are you… Are you really still that upset about never having been the one true king…?" she asked carefully.
He sighed. "No. I'm good with how things were and with how things are. But I guess there is a really small part of me that's still bothered by the fact that I was never the first choice for anything. And the mist took advantage of that."
"You know, it might not be worth much, especially compared to an entire kingdom, but… you were my first choice." she stated matter of factly, sending a small smile his way.
He finally looked at her and regarded her for a moment, before returning her smile wholeheartedly.
"You're right. Any kingdom is worthless compared to you."
She blushed and shoved him slightly.
"Oh shut up. And I'm still wondering how the hell you can go from broody teenager to complete Prince Charming in a matter of seconds, by the way."
He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"That's my superpower."
They laughed and she happily leaned against his side, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked tentatively, placing a hand over her still ripped clothing, since she hadn't had any time to change.
"I told you, I'm fine. I'm just glad you're okay, too. I wouldn't know what I'd do without you."
"Me neither."
He pulled her in for a kiss, cupping her face and pulling her as close to him as possible. How he was lucky enough to get a girl like her to fall in love with him, he'd never know, but–
"I couldn't live without either of you either, you know."
(y/n) jumped back in shock, nearly falling off the cliff at hearing the all too familiar voice. In less than a second, she was on her feet, (e/c) eyes wide in horror.
"Caspian! I–, this isn't–, we're…" she started rambling, having no idea how she was supposed to get out of this situation. Lucky for her, one of the most eloquent man in the history of Narnia was with her.
Edmund stood beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist protectively before speaking: "Caspian, listen. We didn't mean to keep this a secret, nor did we mean any harm. It was just easier than having to explain ourselves, because… well because we can't explain it. We fell in love and everything else just happened. Just… if you want to blame someone, blame me."
At that point, the girl next to him jumped in immediately.
"No! I'm just as much at fault, it takes two people for this. I–"
Caspian held up a hand and she fell silent. For an excruciatingly long moment, everything was silent, except for the waves crashing against the distant shore.
"(y/n), let's talk for a moment. Alone." he finally said and walked back down the slope leading to the cliff they'd been sitting on.
Reluctantly she stepped out of Edmund's arms, not before he placed a quick kiss on her temple whispering a soft 'It'll be alright' to her, and followed after Caspian, the dread in her stomach growing with each step, making her wish she'd actually fallen off the cliff. When she finally reached him, she blurted out another apology and tried to explain herself, but he sushed her again.
"How long has this been going on?" he asked.
"I… Basically since him and Lucy came to the Dawn Treader…" she admitted.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She stared at him in complete shock.
"You mean why I didn't tell my fiancé that I'm in love with someone else…?"
Caspian sighed and looked her directly in the eyes.
"(y/n), under normal circumstances that would've been a reason, but this is not a normal engagement is it?"
"No… So, you're not mad?"
"I'm disappointed. In both of you. You really thought I wouldn't understand this?"
"It… I don't know… I just got so scared about what would happen, not only because of you, but also because of my parents! There was just so much pressure, and I, I–"
By now, she'd talked herself into a frenzy, a couple of stray tears rolling down her cheeks and a sob escaping her lips. Caspian wrapped her in a hug and ran a hand through her hair soothingly. He managed to calm her down like that after a couple of minutes and pulled back to look at her.
"(y/n), you and Edmund are like family to me. Do you really think I would get mad about you two being happy together?"
"No I guess not."
"You're a grown woman. You have the freedom to chose who you want to be with. And don't worry: I've been trying to figure something out because of your family for a while now."
"You have?" she asked in surprise, a small smile gracing her features.
"Yeah. I never felt like this engagement was the right thing for either of us. Now I'm sure."
Her smile faded slightly.
"We might not even have to find a new solution; Edmund's probably going to leave anyway."
Sensing the change in her attitude, he quickly swung an arm around her shoulders and grinned down at her.
"Forget it. And if I have to chain the guy to a wall, he's not going anywhere until I can be best man at your wedding."
She genuinely laughed at that and wrapped an arm around his middle, giving him a one-armed hug.
"Thank you, Caspian. For everything."
"Hey, what are friends for? Now come on, I bet Edmund's worried sick about you."
"You want to pretend to be mad at the two of us and threaten him with an execution?" she asked slyly, a smirk settling in her lips.
"Do you want to give him a heart attack?" he asked wide-eyed, but being unable to fight his own smile.
"Oh come on it would be hilarious! Besides, it's payback for the thing with the spider he pulled earlier."
"By the lion, the two of you really are made for each other."