In his band, James Diamond was always the pretty one. That was his designated place. He was Mister Showy. Mister Drop-Dead-Sexy. His hair care came before everyone and everything else. Life revolved around going to the gym and looking amazing. He had the best washboard abs in LA, except for maybe a few gay porn stars. Either way, James was absolutely the hottest guy in Big Time Rush, hands down. Who could resist that face? Those arms? That charm? That brain? Okay, not the brain. Definitely not the brain, but he was still damn hot. That doesn't mean he didn't have problems, though. There were actually a few things that irked him.

One day, as they were wrapping up a studio session, Kendall suggested that they all go for smoothies. They agreed and promptly did so. Pink drinks in hand, the four boys of the band sat down around a square table.

"It was alright today," Kendall said. "Gustavo was getting on my nerves near the end there, though."

"He always gets on your nerves," Logan chimed in. They all laughed a bit, but James was secretly scoffing. Logan and Carlos kept shooting each other those sweet little looks. James knew what that meant. He was no fool. Maybe he was a fool, but he was at least somewhat wise to what those guys were up to. They knew it, too; one time, James walked in on Logan and Carlos kissing each other. He pretended to freak out, but deep down he had a vibe. The three of them decided it would be best not to tell Kendall about it though, as they had no idea how he would react.

But it still pissed James off. It pissed him off because he wanted Kendall, but unfortunately, the tall and slim young man seemed quite straight. It was frustrating to James that he couldn't get a nice relationship going, and now Carlos and Logan were running around all cutesy with each other. Why would the hottest guy in the band get the shitty end of the dating stick? That was totally unfair.

So he watched Logan and Carlos eye-fuck each other, pursing his lips and pretending not to care. His eyes occasionally darted back to Kendall, who was still going on and on about Gustavo and some other shit he didn't really care about. James wasn't a wordy guy for sure. He did however enjoy the way that Kendall formed words in his mouth. Watching him talk was an enjoyable experience. He would go on wild fantasies in his mind, where Kendall pressed his nice lips against James's and told him that he always cared, too.

The guys disbanded from the table after a few minutes, leaving James sitting there alone. He watched Kendall slip away, waving back at him before pursuing his stupid girlfriend. Why'd it have to be like that? How come the theoretically "less attractive" guys were having relationships when James wasn't? It occurred to him that maybe they were becoming hot. Maybe his rightful place at the throne of good looking was about to be captured. That's when he began to worry.

One night, after James finished his nightly routine of exfoliating, emolliating, extrapolating and eradicating, he paused for a moment and looked in the mirror (for the 1000th time). The usual "you're so damn hot" kind of thoughts buzzed in his head, but sometime else came in, too. He felt unsettled. Maybe he would be upstaged by his friends? What could he do to secure his space? Oh man, if only he was better at thinking. So what do less pretty people do when they get desperate?

James made sure that the bathroom door was shut all the way and locked. He glanced around nervously, cleared his throat and, feeling like an idiot, got down on his knees and put his hands together. "Hey, uh, God?" He whispered to no one. "It's me, James Diamond. You know; the really good looking guy. I thought, seeing as I've been a very good boy lately, maybe you could help me out.

"See, I have two little problems right now. I don't want my friends to be hotter than me. They can't be hotter than me! Is there anything you can do about that? Thaanks. Oh, also, about Kendall." Here, his whispers got even lower. He stopped speaking in his usual sing-songy, comical voice and reduced it to more of a serious monotone. "I wish that Kendall would fall for me…"

He quickly got to his feet and acted as if it never happened. If his friends found out, they would probably mock him, and Kendall would be pissed. The whole thing was stupid and useless, James knew that. If there was a God, he likely wouldn't even hear James. Even so, could there really be a way to make him the prettiest? Could he turn Kendall gay? Did God handle things like that? Did life work like that? James figured it was at least worth a try. Worth a shot. Why not? He put on his last moisturizer and ran off to bed.

It was a glorious morning. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. Light beamed through the window and splattered onto James's bed, heating the room and giving everything a soft glow. He didn't know it yet, but last night there was magic in that bedroom. Somewhere, somehow, someone or something heard his prayer and acted upon it.

A sweet "mmmmm" rolled out of his mouth as he awoke in the morning. He stretched out his arms, slowly opened his eyes, and saw the daylight beginning to pour into the room. He rolled over onto his side and sat up. Something felt different…

off…

heavy?...

His arms felt small. His chest felt…

…

"What the..."

A loud, shrill shriek filled the bedroom, if not the entire apartment. It was much higher than any scream that had ever been screamed in there before. James darted out of bed and ran to his vanity mirror. The rugged yet boyishly pretty face looked smoother and softer. There was no stubble; no sign of any beard. His hair wasn't the short, spikiness that it had been. No, no, not at all. It had reverted to the longer, silkier version from years gone by.

"What happened to my face?" James whispered in disbelief as his tender, thin fingers touched his skin. "And my voice? And my…"

James looked at where his massive pectoral muscles once sat. Instead, there were now two breasts. They hanged like two plump grapefruits behind his tank top. He put his hands over the boobs and touched them slowly. They were AWESOME! His hands slid around his ribcage and down the new curves. He had an hourglass figure; a nice, curvy, female figure. James looked back in the mirror and smiled to himself a little. "I'm a woman," he said under his breath. "I'm the hottest fuckin' woman in the world."

Just then, there was a knock at the door. "Yo James, James? You alright?" It was Logan. James looked at the door and then back to his mirror. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open. Logan couldn't come in! How would anybody believe it?

"I heard you screaming. James? Jaaames? I'm coming in if you don't answer me."

"UHHHH," James said, trying to make his voice low. "It's…nothing." He crouched down and slowly backed up against the bed. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," Logan said. It sounded like he was walking away. James slipped back under his covers, shaking a little from nerves. It was hard to believe what was going on. How could he possibly explain this to the guys? There must be another way. He hoped that a female brain would be more efficient at thinking, but that proved to be wrong. James was dumb no matter what. Still, he was part of Big Time Rush, and Big Time Rush was great at plans.

That's it, he thought. I'll leave without anybody seeing me, and then I'll call them and say my mom came by and snatched me away. The plan was infallible as far as James could see. Oh, except one thing; how could he leave the apartment without anybody seeing him? Kendall was obviously up, and so were the rest of the guys. If they saw any part of James, his cover would be blown. He glanced around the room for inspiration, and his eyes fixed on the window there. He could rappel out of the window. Perfect! But with what? There were the bed sheets. Maybe he could tie them together. Wait, no; terrible idea. James couldn't tie knots. That's smart people stuff.

Before he had the chance to think of another "flawless" plan, the door opened right up and Logan said, "I thought you said you'd be…" He stopped as soon as he saw the girl standing in the middle of his buddy's room. Suddenly he was overcome with giggles. "Oh, man," he said. "James got laid? Where is he?"

The girl James motioned for Logan to close the door behind him, which he did, though confused. "I am James," she said.

"Huh?" Logan was still laughing. He presumed this to be a joke.

"I AM JAMES!" She shrieked. "Something weird happened!"

"Uh…huh?" Now the actual boy's face dropped and fell serious. He squinted at the young woman in disbelief. "You're fucking serious."

"Yes I am!" She yelled. "But I don't want anybody to know!"

"Why not?"

"It would be WEIRD! You gotta help me out."

"Your boobs are really big," Logan said. "If I wasn't gay, I'd be…wow."

"Shut up! I know they're big!"

"You need a bra, dude."

"I know I do! But I need your help more! C'mon!" She winced. "I need you to help me find an excuse for the dude version of me to be gone, and then you gotta help me become the dude again."

"Unbelievable," Logan said. He plopped down on James's bed and started to think. "I guess I have no choice. Let's see…we could say that you had a family emergency, and that your mom came and picked you up in the middle of the night."

"Ooo, that's good!" James said, shaking her head. She sat down next to Logan and adjusted her tank top. Damn. Her nipples were pretty big, too. "But what about me? Girl me? Where did I come from?"

"That's a good question," Logan said. Before he had the chance to answer, the bedroom door opened again, and there stood Kendall. "James why aren't you…"

Logan and James froze in horror, but Kendall's face turned bright red. "Oh!" He said. "Logan! You got laid?"

"Eheheh, not quite." Logan said, laughing sheepishly.

"Wow," Kendall said. "And I was starting to think you were gay. How about that?" He came into the room and looked at James. "I haven't seen you around before. You're Logan's girlfriend? What's your name?"

"Uhhh," James said. She tried to smile. "Jaa-aane. I'm Jane." She awkwardly stuck out her hand. Kendall shook it gently. "I'm new here."

"Cool," Kendall said. "I'm glad Logan's finally meeting girls."

"It's not like that," Logan said. "W-we're just friends, you know."

"Uh huh, whatever you say," Kendall said. "So where's James? You guys seen him? I mean, you are in his room, you know."

"He left suddenly," said "Jane". "His mom came last night. I dunno what happened, but she was pretty scary, right?"

"That's weird. Why didn't he say anything," Kendall wondered out loud. "Did he say when he'd be back? We gotta keep working on the new album."

"Nope," Logan said this time. "She just whisked him away. I hope it's not long."

"REALLY weird," Kendall said. "Anyway, I'll leave you 'friends' alone, okay?" He sneered and left the room. Logan and Jane looked at each other in fear.

"What the hell just happened?" Jane asked.

"I don't know, but I think Kendall bought it."