Title: Tell me your dreams.
Disclaimer: I own no one you recognise. Lilly, Tabby and Katie, well I created them but I feel wrong saying that I 'own' them. Lets just say I've been privileged enough to have a glimpse into their world for a brief time.
Rating: I'll say Pg-13 to be on the safe side and I will advise if it goes any higher. AU M/L
Author: Phi, E-mail: storm_calm@hotmail.com
Summary: After the death of her mother, Liz Ozanne is sent away to her father and his new family where she must confront two questions she never knew she had, Who is she and who was her mother?
A/N: This story is by no means what I would class as dark but it does deal with cancer and suicide, however indirect it is to main characters, the subjects can be understandably a very painful area for some. I've warned you. I've also done something I've never tried before, written Tess as someone (shock horror) likeable. I'm a dreamer through and through so Tess obviously isn't my favourite character of all time but I've tried to think of it like this, what would she be like had she grown up with the Czechoslovakians and have a proper loving family. Feedback would be wonderful; I've been terrified about posting this.
The best place in the world isn't a sunny beach in the Caribbean, nor is it a ski slope in aspen. It's right here, where I'm sitting right now chilled and soaked to the bone. This is heaven.
This is my home. I used to come down to this slipway and go shrimping with my grandfather when I was little. We'd roll up our trouser legs and wade through the shallows until I got bored and went to look in the rock pools for anemones and starfish. By the end of the day my rolled up pants would have slipped back down over my frozen legs and be damp and stiff from the salt of the sea.
I love it here; this is where anything could happen. I come here to think, to dream. I used to dream as a little girl that I could be a seal and live under the waves, in the dark cool depths.
Why do I have to leave?
My mother has been dead in her grave for less than a month and already I have to leave my memories and her on this island and fly to the other side of the world to live with my father. He left us when I was little to live with a woman in America, America! It's probably the last place I'd ever thought I'd be going to. Now I have to live there because of a stupid court ruling.
My Grandma Claudia begged and sobbed for the judge to reconsider and let me stay, everyone begged but he took no notice of our plight. Like most he saw my grandparent's ages and my fathers money. Grandma and Grandpa are fit and sprightly despite being seventy-three. Already I can see the fire and passion dimming in my beloved grandparent's eyes when they realise there's no way for me to stay.
I'll be back in a year, as soon as I'm eighteen I'm coming straight back, but they're seventy-three! That's a whole year we have to miss in goodness knows how few.
My friends are beside themselves, we've grown up together, as have our parents and grandparents and relatives even further back. Our families have lived on the island for generations upon generations. My friends and I have gone through everything together. Same hospital we were born in, joint birthday parties, same classes, same everything. I can't bear the thought of missing an entire year, we've never been apart, and we know how each other thinks. Now I'm going to miss so much of their lives.
Katie will no doubt go further with her boyfriend this next year; I won't be there for details or share tubs of ice cream with her when her heart will inevitably be broken. Tabby's art scholarship dreams will be made or broken this year. I know so many people that might need me.
My best friend is at the top of that list. Lilly's mother is falling sick with signs I recognise from my own mother's deterioration and eventual death of cancer, my poor sweet and naïve little Lilly will be shattered if I'm right. Her mother was mum's best friend and was also a single mum. We grew up as a large extended family, if Lilly's mum dies and I'm on the other side of the world…Lilly is a delicate and a happy thing.
She wouldn't survive, not without me.
I hate my father with such raw passion; I'm scared of myself. I need this place, I need my grandparents and I need Lilly. He's taking it all away. I will make his life a living hell until he sends me back; I'll refuse to speak to someone so hateful. He'll get his comeuppance; I'll make sure of it.
Liz xxx
***
The words were blurred and stained from the rain that had been falling as she'd sat on slippery rock and looked out to sea but it seemed somehow appropriate that such words should be drenched with the sea's salty tears.
The sea was everything to the people where she came from, the island was traditionally a fishing community and most children could swim before they could walk. Now she could feel the life and exuberance of the sea that was in her skin and soul slowly seeping away as the cramped and hot dry plane flew closer and closer to the desert place her father lived. She hated the dry.
The leather journal on her lap was thick and the pages were dog-eared.
When they were twelve, she and her friends had each bought an identical diary and vowed they'd write about everything that happened to them. Then when they were eighteen, they'd swap. The journal was three quarters full; some pages had colourful drawings from her friends. Glitter and shells decorated entries while every so often they'd stuck photos of the group in the diaries. Tabby, short for Tabitha, was the artist and permanently had a camera and sketchbook in hand; most photos were from her.
This was one of the few belongings she had actually bought with her. Her father and stepmother Nancy had written to describe the room Nancy had decorated just for her. Her room with her grandparents had remained basically untouched. She would after all be returning in a year.
Along with some clothes, a tired looking teddy bear, her journal and a heap of photos, she'd bought the one thing that never left her side. Her mother's silver locket on a thin silver chain. It was heavy against her chest and had flowers engraved around the edge of the oval. Inside was a silky curl of her mothers black hair behind a small piece of glass while on the other side was a picture of Liz in her mother's arms looking out to sea on the slipway where she'd written her journal entry.
They'd been talking about seals when Liz had pointed out to sea thinking she'd seen one. Her mother was smiling and looking to where the excited six-year-old was pointing. Her mother used to kiss the picture inside the glass each night, now Liz did.
The stewardess was walking down the aisle checking seat belts with a fake smile on her face; the 'customer is always right' routine probably wore pretty thin on even the short trips.
It was obvious from the change in noise from the engine that they were beginning their descent.
She sighed and sunk lower into her seat. The last time she'd seen her father was when he'd walked out on them when she was four. She wasn't sure how she'd done it but four-year-old Liz had hated the feeling of betrayal so much that she'd blocked any memory of him.
Oh she'd seen the photo's he'd sent. A happy family, smiling and laughing at the camera, oh how she hated that happy family. She was the other child; the one no one cared about. She didn't even care that she was that child; they could have the bastard.
Jeff, her father, and his wife of twelve years Nancy had adopted two six year olds when Liz herself had been six. Tess and Michael, her friends had been horrified when she'd told them. From then on they spoke the two names only when they had to and crossed their fingers if they did.
They were Parker's, her father's clan. She was her mother's child and had insisted on using her mother's last name.
Elizabeth Victoria Ozanne, Daughter of Imogene Ozanne. A beautiful woman with a heart of gold, incredibly soft and kind with the most exotic looks many had ever seen. She held everyone she met captivated by a simple smile; her daughter was her biggest fan as she in turn was Liz's biggest fan.
The ancient squeal of the tires coming down filled Liz with dread and claustrophobia, she hated her father so much! All she wanted to do was go straight back home.
People around her clung onto the armrests and closed their eyes, bracing for the skid down the runway. The whole plane jerked and shuddered making Liz's teeth chatter. Finally the plane glided smoothly towards the terminal and the bored voice of the stewardess bid them farewell.
Everyone seemed to move at once, clambering over each other to get to the aisle; bags were pulled down from the overhead lockers and people jostled in the queue.
Liz stayed where she was; there was absolutely no reason to rush the awkward reunion that was coming once she was off the plane. He'd probably be late.
Finally the aisle was almost empty and Liz had no more excuses to delay the inevitable. She stood up and smoothed out the black silk of her short dress and tied the silk bow of her sheer black lace cardigan over her breast.
Her Grandmother was a sucker for tradition and Liz had felt that dressing in grieving black was appropriate. Her hair was pulled back still tight in a French plait even after the long journey. She'd purposefully dressed as Lilly said, 'to kill'. She wanted her father to see that the gawky little brunette he'd left in pigtails and overalls had grown into a knockout. Her grandmother used to whisper that she looked more and more like her mother everyday.
Slipping the leather diary into her handbag, she pulled her black pumps back on and moved into the aisle. The stewardess barely managed a smile before yawning and taking out a piece of nicotine gum. The air conditioning couldn't completely banish the heat as Liz walked down the hallway of the terminal towards customs, passport checks and duty-free shopping. Her hand strayed to the locket sitting proudly against her tanned skin.
Once she'd gone through the rigmarole of the endless checks she made a brief bathroom stop to touch up her subtle makeup then made her way towards the area her father would be waiting. She mingled in the centre of the large crowd from the plane as they emerged into the busy part of the airport.
She caught sight of them immediately. Her father looked nervous while Nancy was trying to pacify him and the two seventeen year olds. Michael looked bored and resentful while Tess was more interested in her nails, no doubt they'd been allowed to leave school early and since it was Friday here; she'd have to spend all weekend with them. They hadn't seen her yet; the last photo her mother had sent of Liz was when she was ten. Liz had still been in her tomboy stage and they were probably searching the crowd for a skinny girl in ripped jeans, a baggy shirt and short scraggly hair.
The crowd was thinning, Liz finally sighed and walked over to them. Nancy was the first to see her and gasped pressing a hand to her mouth, Tess stared at her wide-eyed while Michael grunted and went back to looking around with distaste.
"Lizzie?" her father finally asked looking at her with a white face, like he'd seen a ghost, the ghost of her mother.
"Hello Jeff" she said coolly.
"Oh my goodness, we weren't expecting…" Nancy started then caught herself and smiled "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Liz"
This woman had taken her father away from her and her mother; she at least owed her some thanks for making life easier "Nancy" Liz said politely.
"Um, uh this is Michael and Tess" Nancy introduced looking flustered.
Tess smiled at her and elbowed Michael "Hi Liz" she said warmly.
Michael blinked "yeah, hi"
Both Tess and Nancy glared at him disapprovingly.
Liz decided that she could tolerate Michael, he didn't try and make a fuss and pretend like any of them wanted to be here. It pleased her that her father was so spooked by what she looked like. He'd have a reminder of everything he lost or betrayed in his face for the next year.
"Um, shall I take your bag?" he finally asked reaching for the small suitcase on wheels that Liz dragged behind her.
She tightened her hand around the handle and shook her head.
He recoiled like he'd been burned and nodded "we should get going then, do you have everything?" He asked looking at the small suitcase.
"Yes" she said shortly. He had an American accent, as did the others. She on the other hand had a well-educated English accent. She was probably coming across as a bit of a snob; she didn't give a toss. She'd think of them however she wanted to and they could think of her however they wanted to.
Michael turned and started pushing his way through the crowd to get outside to the car. Nancy and Jeff followed while Tess hung back slightly, walking next to Liz.
"I love your accent, I guess you must be pretty homesick, I would be," she said looking around the airport.
Liz gritted her teeth and managed a nod wishing that she would leave her alone, solitude suited her current mood. Tess didn't seem to get the vibe.
"Our rooms are right next to each other, I hope you like yours it's the best room in the house I think but mom didn't let me have it because there's a balcony just outside the window and anyone could climb up from the alley" Tess shrugged.
No wonder it's my room then, I'm the one that has to fend off a burglar. Thanks a lot dad, trying to tell me something? Liz thought bitterly.
"You'll get to work at the café with us, I'll introduce you to everyone, it's going to be great" Tess exclaimed.
'Work' and 'Café' rung clear in Liz's head, serving the masses with a smile? She could do that, surviving serving the masses with a smile and keeping her sanity was another matter all together. She loved her old job; she'd worked at the huge and incredibly beautiful library on the island that was like stepping into a castle from the seventeen hundreds. It seemed she wouldn't be pursuing anything along those lines in Roswell.
"You're going to be so popular at school! I can't believe I actually have a sister, we're going to have a blast!" Tess grinned at her.
Despite her best efforts against it, her heart went out to the girl. Liz had grown up with Lilly, Katie, Tabby and many other girls that had been like sisters to each other. She supposed that she could be a little friendlier to Tess, she seemed nice, a little ditzy but with a good heart.
"Uh, do you have a boyfriend?" she asked trying to sound friendly.
The girl chuckled and shrugged "I have a sort of boyfriend, we're not officially together. Kyle's on the football team" she said smiling dreamily.
It seemed that certain look didn't change despite being in a different country.
"What about you? Any long distance romance?" Tess asked giddily, warming to the subject.
Liz managed a half smile "for some reason men find me intimidating. I think it's from growing up in a predominantly matriarchal family."
Tess laughed, "Cool, then you'll be looking for a boyfriend?"
The glint was already appearing in the blonde's eyes "no, men are complications I can do without right now" Liz said shortly.
The two followed the others outside. Liz winced, the air was thick and hot, well compared to home it was. The fumes of fuel from the aeroplanes made her throat hurt and gave her the beginnings of a killer headache. They weaved through endless parked cars while Tess chattered on about the Café and Kyle. Liz watched Nancy and Jeff talk quietly and shoot glances over their shoulders making sure she hadn't run off.
Resisting the urge to roll her eyes was hard when she saw the car, a dark green mini van. What was the betting they had a cocker spaniel and a white picket fence around the café?
Michael pulled open the sliding door once it was unlocked and took up the back seats leaving Liz and Tess to sit together in the middle while Nancy and Jeff were up the front.
Liz ignored her father while he hovered around her as she lifted the suitcase into the van and stepped up gracefully.
Tess followed and pulled the door closed "I love your dress Liz, where did you get it?"
"Marks and Spencers" Liz replied bluntly.
"Oh" Tess said smiling with confusion.
The van started up and backed out of the parking space. Liz opened her purse and took out her Discman. She slipped on the earphones and turned to watch the scenery go past.
"Watcha listening to Liz? I like some of the boy bands" Tess grinned.
"Uh, it's a musical piece I was intending to play at a recital," Liz said haltingly.
"Do you play an instrument?" Tess asked with wide eyes "I've always wanted to."
"The violin"
"Wow, what were you going to be playing?"
Liz sighed and looked back out the window "I left my violin at home, the piece is one of Albinoni's."
"Your mother used to play the violin," Jeff told her glancing in the rear-view mirror.
Her jaw tightened and she focussed intently on a scratch on the window "I know" she bit out, her blood boiling with anger that Jeff knew something so special about her mother.
The people round her seemed to get the hint she wasn't into making conversation so Tess and her parents talked to each other. Liz leaned her head against the glass listening to the haunting tunes her mother had played to her when she was sick. There would be no tears; she wouldn't bring the wall she'd painstakingly assembled on the plane down to let any of these people in. This was going to be a long year.
Her hand strayed to the locket and clasped it in her hand as the strange landscape went passed; at least she had her journal and locket. No one would ever take those from her like they'd taken her family and home.
TBC