I placed my books down on the desk in front of me. I was sat as close to the edge as possible. The girl I sat next to always took up half the desk and more so I might as well not cause a fuss. So here I was in my usual, squished, seat; Front desk in the very right hand corner. I can see everything I need to but I'm out of the way and no one can see me. As usual I'm five minutes early. I sit there and watch as the rest of the class noisily file in and, as predicted, Hannah Barron sat down next to me and shoved me over that little bit more. It's okay though, I don't mind, I've dealt with worse.

Professor Flitwick walked out of his office and began to talk to us about our Charms work. I like Charms, I can afford to daze in the class for a bit because I've already read ahead. When you have nothing else to do, there really is nothing else to do except read. People think I'm weird because I "know so much". I don't really understand why, I mean I think people are weird when they play Quidditch, what's so fulfilling about chasing some balls on a broom?

"…and the reason non-verbal spells are, indeed, much more effective on an opponent because… Maura?" I snap back into reality as Professor Flitwick directs a question at me.

"Oh… erm, well it means an opponent doesn't know what spell you're going to cast so you have the advantage as they'll have less time to defend themselves according to the spell you've cast…" I immediately sink back into my seat. I'm right, I know I'm right. I read this. But I hate being called on, because then other people know I'm right and other people can be mean if they want to be right too.

I find myself thinking back to the time that those girls cornered me a few weeks back, only because I wouldn't give them my essay. I remember how they used the trip jinx and Flippendo to get me down and then levitated me into the air then promptly dropped me. I spent two weeks in the infirmary because of that.

I snap my attention back to Professor Flitwick as he rounds the lesson up. He's talking about some new student from the year above retaking her Charms. I'm not really paying attention. Class is then dismissed, but Professor Flitwick asks me to hang back.

"Ms. Isles. I can't deny you are extraordinary at Charms, perhaps you would be willing to tutor our new student starting next week?" I nod to show I don't mind. I hate it when my teachers do this. I am not extraordinary at anything; I just learn things when everyone else is being social. It's not a talent; it's the way I live. Not that I don't like it that way.

I walk out of the class room and a boy, I don't know him, hits the books in my arms, causing them to fall to the floor in a mess. "Loser." He says, I know, I think.

It's a Monday morning and I have double Charms. Then I remember I have to tutor that new girl too. Is that triple Charms? While I would be doing another lesson's worth, it's not new material or in lesson time, so I guess it doesn't constitute as an actual Charms lesson. Double Charms and tutoring it is then.

I walk in to Charms again, early again, and wait for everyone to arrive. The same routine goes down as it does every morning. I get squished into the shelves I sit next to a little bit more and the lesson starts.

But before it does, Professor Flitwick gestures to our new student. I turn to see her. I know her. Jane Rizzoli, Gryffindor, Chaser for the Quidditch team since her second year. She excelled at trials and remained on the team for the next two or so years if I remember correctly. She smiles awkwardly as the class turns to look at her. She's got a lovely smile, well this one is. I'm sure she has a better one without half the class staring at her. Her hair falls way past her shoulders; it's a messy, curly, brown colour. It's a very dark brown, almost black. Almost. I turn back to the class ready for the next two hours of Charms. Finally, something I enjoy and can do without anyone constantly berating me.

The double lessons end and the class, once again, file out. I leave last. As I go out the door a voice calls for me, "Hey," I nearly jump because I am fully expecting someone or something to connect with my body and cause me harm. I do actually jump when a hand, instead, makes gentle contact on my shoulder. I turn to see Jane stood there, "I was told by Flitwick you were my tutor. I mean, I think it's weird being taught by a little kid but if you get me through my exams, I'll love you forever." I nod again, I'm so anxious when I talk to people, I've learned that I should rarely speak up because normally it means trouble for me. Jane looks at me oddly due to my non-verbal response, "Alrighty then…I'll see you in the spare classroom down there at lunch yeah?" Again I nod, but this time I risk a smile, and Jane beams one back at me, I can't help but smile a little more "Well I gotta go to Potions but, I'll see you soon." With that she excuses herself and I'm left standing in a now empty corridor wondering if I've just made a friend.

Lunch time soon rolled around and I was already in the classroom Jane said to meet in. I had tutored loads of younger kids but this was my first older person. I mean it was only a year or so older but still I was a little nervous. Jane walked into the room after a few minutes and said "So are you ready to do this?" and posed in a fake battle stance. I didn't particularly find this funny but I laughed because that's what she seemed to want to happen.

"Yes, right, well, I don't know how you learn best so I brought both theory and practical items today but we can switch it if we need to because you may prefer the physical to the mental but I don't mind honestly I just thought-"

"Maura, I don't mind, we'll just tackle stuff as we go, yeah? How about we start with Chapter One and you teach me what I need and we go one step at a time. No rush." She looks around the room, "So…what's Chapter One?"

A few days later, I walked out of Transfiguration and then it happened. I was shoved against the hard stone wall and whacked my head. I was immediately sure I had a concussion. I was seeing double and I could hear almost nothing. I felt myself pushed into a stone brazier. I felt many hands curled into fists hitting many parts of my body. I felt my weak body slide to the floor as I see a blurred image go and shoo away my assailants. "Told you she was weak, what a loser…" one of them spits back at me.

I feel some arms scoop me up, my eyes refocus and I see Jane slide into my view. She's wearing a face of concern and is looking me up and down. I recollect my thoughts and stand, "Are you okay?!" She sounds concerned, but I can't have her involved, I don't need another reason for people to target me. I brush myself down and look at her almost alarmed as I realise now they'll probably go for her because she defended me. Why did she do that? She's made things worse. I don't want this for her. She's been my friend for about a day and I already don't want anything bad for her. She's my one friend; they can't do anything to her. I feel myself welling up and beginning to panic.

"I'm fine," and with that I rush off. I feel extremely weak but nonetheless I try to get away from her as much as possible. I feel like if I do I'm taking the danger with me. They can't touch her. I won't let them.

I run up to Ravenclaw Tower, with every step I'm thinking: Why was I so protective over Jane? I've known her a day. She's hardly special. But she was special; she was my first real friend.

It's been three Mondays since then. Jane and I are now really good friends, in my opinion anyway. We spend lunches together, we walk to Charms together, and we sit on the grass together. Today I was tutoring Jane on her technique for her practical exams. And, even if I could, I couldn't lie, she was awful.

I was sat on the desk with my hand on my forehead, subconsciously, lightly touching my now fading bruises from those weeks ago. The one on my eye was still yellow, but was very purple before. I hadn't noticed Jane staring at me from where she was practicing her accuracy on a dummy.

"Why do you let them do that to you?" She looked me dead in the eye. "I mean, you don't deserve any of it…You're smart and great, you don't deserve to be punished for that…" she reaches across and takes my hand, gently stroking her thumb on it. "You do know you're not alone anymore, you have me? You have a friend." I look up to her teary eyed. She's just stood there. She's completely opened herself up to me.

I wipe my eyes and swallow hard "You know you're posture is horrible." I sound like I'm about to cry, and I am. But I won't. Because I have taught myself not to cry. I walk up to Jane and place myself behind her then pull her into me, I feel her tense up but I continue. I pull her back up straighter and steady her arm. "You see you twist your wrist so you can never shoot straight unless you point your wand way off to the right. You need to keep it fixed and straight." I pause to show her, but I notice she's only looking at me. Not taking her eyes off of my bruised face. I shake my head and look down trying to make her not focus on my contusions. But when I look back up she's still looking at me. She has a look of complete empathy and sympathy for me. And then. Then she leaned in. And her lips lightly touched mine and she lingered on them for no more than a second. We looked at each other, I suspect she was expecting a reaction but I had none for her. Then, the words I never meant to slip out did exactly that;

"I have to go." I barely uttered them. And Jane's reaction was immediate; her face fell and had a sad look of understanding. She nodded to the ground as I packed up and left. I didn't know what I was doing; I didn't feel like I was in my own body. I was falling into a state of derealisation, where I began to disassociate with myself. But this wasn't logically possible for me, while I was somewhat anxious; my anxiety had never reached as severe a level as this. Nevertheless, I watched myself run away from my best friend.

I didn't go to Charms the next day. I didn't leave the dorm. I don't know why I acted the way I did. I mean I liked Jane. She was wonderful. And it's not like she's not wonderful. Because she is. I sat in the armchair in the common room mulling it all over. I mean I like Jane. It's not like you're scared they'll do anything worse to you. It can't get much worse for me except death but I don't think they'd go that far. Maybe I'm just scared they'll target Jane. But then she can handle herself. I've become so used to being alone I won't let anyone in. And it's time I did. I can't survive alone, and I can't cushion the pain with books. It'll still be there once you run out of paper. Stop running from it all Maura.

I get up and check the clock. It's almost lunch. I knew where I had to be. I ran to the west courtyard. It's where Jane showed me she goes for lunch. And sure enough she was there. I ran over to her and she turned around, probably startled by my hyperventilation. Normally I only hyperventilated when I lied or was unsure but this time it was just due to my astoundingly poor level of cardio fitness.

"Jane…" I'm literally gasping for all the oxygen I can, if I'm going to pass out, she's going to hear this first, "Jane…I'm…I'm sorry. It's not you. I just…I have an issue with opening up to people and letting people in, and no doubt that's a direct result to my self-isolation, and I just need time to adjust but I'm not afraid of you or being with you, I just need time, because obviously-"

"Maura-"

"I mean it'll take a while for me to open up to as it should I mean this isn't just a simple process but I'm willing-"

"Maura-"

"…And you know I have anxiety and I just want to make sure you're okay to deal with that, I mean about 8% of adolescents have anxiety so you've probably already accidentally dealt with it in yourself or another person but-"

"Maura." I stop what I'm saying. "Shut up." And then she pulls me in for a kiss. And this time I respond. I don't flinch away. I don't cringe. I don't do anything. I return it. And I'm smiling into her and she's smiling into me. I feel her pull me into her by pulling me in by my back. I flinch and step back. "You okay?"

"Still a little sore from…you know." She smiles at me, she doesn't care. She has me and I have her and I know that makes her as happy as it makes me. She removes her hands from my body and instead intertwines her fingers with mine and we stand there holding hands smiling at each other.

Jane pulls me towards the pathway, "Come on you, we'll be late for Charms." With that, she drags me into the building by my hand. And suddenly everything seems brighter, and all those students who hurt me, they are somewhere far away. Because now they cannot hurt me and they cannot hurt Jane. And that is what matters to me. It is in this moment that I am truly happy. And I don't think I've ever felt truly content before. But let me tell you this, it is pure bliss. I feel free. I feel elated. I feel like I can fly.