A/N: I was challenged... which is something like being infected with a terminal disease... Hope this cheers you up Meems.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.
Summary: "Hormones?" "Yeah, you know. They're chemicals secreted from special glands throughout your body that-" Dialogue fic. Implied Mello/Near Slash
A Matter of Hormones
"There. See?"
"...A diagram, Mello?"
"Hey you said you wanted to know!"
"No, I did not. I merely stated that I wished to understand what would drive a person to-"
"Oh, well that parts easy, it's hormones."
"Hormones?"
"Yeah, you know. They're chemicals secreted from special glands throughout your body that-"
"I know what hormones are, Mello."
"Ah. Yeah, I thought it would be weird if you didn't."
"...Mello, why do you have a diagram?"
"Don't change the subject, Near."
"I wasn't-"
"So anyway, the hormones cause urges, needs, desires, etcetera, and in order to relieve them one must engage in sexual activity. Which is why people do it."
"Really?"
"If you want to be scientific about it, yeah. Mostly it just feels good though."
"You could have just said that."
"Yeah, I could've, what's your point?"
"...I think that was my point."
"Right... why did you ask me this, anyway?"
"I wanted to know."
"Well duh, I meant why me. Why did you ask me?"
"...I wanted to know why Mello would do it."
"You wanted to know why-... Near, are you saying you wanted to know what turns me on?"
"...This has not been particularly educational on that front..."
"Is that what you meant to ask, though."
"...I..."
"Near!"
"...Perhaps."
"But why on earth would you-Mmph!"
"..."
"..."
"...What the hell was that!"
"...Hormones?"
END.