There should be a warning label on them for men.
The
microwave beeped as Ron and Harry walked into the room.
"Ron,
what is it that you're doing?" asked Harry, trying to see what
was in the microwave.
"Um, nothing. Nothing at all, Harry. Why do you ask?" Ron took whatever it was from the microwave and shoved it in his pocket then ran out of the kitchen at Hogwarts. Harry stood there, puzzled.
...
"Hey
Hermione." Ron said with a huge smile on his face. "Do you
have them?" he whispered in her ear.
She nodded. "I
have them. Do you want to go somewhere a little more secluded to take
them?"
"Yeah, good idea." Ron said, helping
Hermione up from her seat in the dining hall. They walked out the the
main entrance of the school and snuck behind a tree. Hermione took
what Ron wanted out of her purse and handed it to him.
"Here
are four of them. They'll have to last you a couple days unless you
can pay me now so I can get more."
Ron dug through his
pockets until he found his wallet. "Ah, here it is." Ron
said to himself. He took out some money and handed it to Hermione who
nodded once, then walked back towards the school.
...
Harry
was walking towards Rons' room after all his classes were finished.
He thought he'd drop by to do homework with Ron since they haven't
really hung out in a couple of days.
As he reached Rons' door,
he realized it was locked. Ron never locks his door so Harry had
no option but to knowck. He knocked a few times, then
waited.
"Who is it?" Ron called.
"It's me, Ron. I came to do homework."
"Oh,
um. Give me a moment, will you?" Ron called. Harry heard Ron
running around. He pressed his ear to the door out of curiosity to
see if he could make out what Ron was doing. Suddenly, the
door opened and Harry fell onto Ron. "Missed me a lot,
did you?" Ron asked Harry, helping him stand back up.
"You're awfully cheery today, Ron. What made you so happy?
Did you finally get a girlfriend or something?" Harry
laughed without meaning to, but really, Ron with a girlfriend? Yeah
right.
"No,
I um. I don't know, I just had a good day. Let's get started on that
homework shall we?" Ron grabbed Harry's books and ran back into
his room.
Harry stood there, dumbfounded by Rons' gouche
attitude. He really wanted to know why Ron has been acting so
strange.
"Are
you coming in, Harry?" Ron called from his bed infront of
an open book, pencil in hand and a notebook opened, prepared to get
started.
Harry shook his head. "Yeah, I'm coming."
He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
...
Harry
noticed Hermione sneaking out of the dining hall with Ron. "What
the hell are they doing?" Harry asked himself. He thought about
following them, but he figured they'd be back soon so he'd just ask.
They never returned.
...
As
Harry sat on his bed, his phone rang. He reached over to the stand
and answered it. "Hello?" he said into the phone.
"Hey,
Harry." said the girl on the other line. "It's Jenny and
man am I horny. You should meet me in the cafeteria in a few."
She hung up.
Harry
turned off his phone and threw it on his bed, running out the door
and to the cafeteria. When he got there, Jenny was standing by the
entrance.
"I knew you'd come." she grinned.
"Why
wouldn't I?" Harry grinned back. He walked towards her, yawning
and stretching as he put his arm around her. He opened the door and
said, "Ladies first." Jenny walked past him. He walked in
after her.
"What the fuck!?" Jenny screamed. "Ron!
That is utterly disgusting!"
Harry looked past Jenny and saw
Ron standing by the counter near the microwave, masturbating using a
tampon. He threw the tampon across the room.
"Harry? What are
you doing with Jenny? What the hell have you been doing with my
sister you bastard!" Ron yelled, pulling his pants up like
nothing happened.
"Stop changing the subject." Harry
demanded. "Why were you shoving a tampon up your ass?"
Harry cringed, then thought for a moment and realized it wasn't too
bad of an idea. But where would Ron get them?
"I...well...I
can explain." Ron tried to say. The microwave beeped.
"What's
in there?" Harry asked. "Last time I saw you, you had
something in the microwave, took it out and hid it from me. Is it the
same thing as last time?"
Jenny stomped over to the
microwave and opened the door. "Huh?" she breathed as she
pulled a tampon out of the microwave. "Ron...this
is...so...gross!" she managed to say.
"Oh, god, Ron. Where in the hell did that come from and why was it in the microwave?" Harry stopped talking, realizing what Ron was doing. "You've been putting them in the microwave and then masturbating with them in your ass, haven't you?" Harry asked, completely shocked.
"Fine,
you caught me. So what?" Ron said, frustrated. He began to yell,
"But it wasn't my idea! It feels good. I can't help that
Hermione told me about it then started delivering tampons to me at
lunch hour!" Tears of embarassment and frustration ran down
Rons' cheek.
Jenny and Harry stood there with their mouths opened,
not knowing what to say. They stood there, gaping for at least five
minutes. Ron eventually left and went back to his room, but Harry and
Jenny just stood there.
Finally, Jenny broke the silence, "I'm
still horny, yanno." She turned to Harry and said, "You
still wanna?"
Harry
nodded, picking Jenny up as they began to make out. He sat her on the
stove, thinking it was the counter.
"GOD DAMNIT! LET ME
DOWN!" Jenny screamed. Harry let go, not knowing what was wrong.
Jenny hopped off the stove and rubbed her butt. "It was still
hot. I think my ass is burnt a little."
Harry
covered his mouth to hide laughter.
Jenny shook her head then
walked back to Harry.