Dawning Upon Me
By Kotono
AN: Ok, Senshi turn on Usagi bit. Every one else does it, why not me? Ok ok, I generally don't like these kind of fics, but maybe if I write one, I'll be able to see why they're so popular. Think of it as a study. OH and people, I'll not be killing anybody, because it's just so much more fun to torture them!
The pain. The horrible ripping sensation rent through. They TURNED on her. When she needed them the most they turned on her. Tsukino Usagi's tears ran down her face, causing tracks that could be seen in the moonlight. Usagi let out a sob. Her dearest friends turned on her. Usagi took up her locket, glanced at it, and the destiny it held. She wanted to smash it so much. But the world depended on her…didn't it? No. They had her senshi. They would continue to fight, even without her. She couldn't fault them for that.
……….Flashback………..
" AHH! Itai….." Minako lay on the ground, her arm burnt from the blast that came hurtling at her. The pain was excruciating and caused her to weep openly.
" Minako-chan!" Makoto and Ami ran to help their friend. The sight of her was horrifying. It sent Rei and Usagi into a rage. Eyes flaring, tears welling, Usagi produced her Eternal Moon Tiel, and prepared to decimate the youma with a new and stronger attack, this one based on rage.
" Moon Twilight Vengeance!" Shards of crystal hit the monster dead on, but the attack didn't prevail. The Youma laughed, and then disappeared, happy with its accomplishments. A rain of the very same shards hit Usagi, ripping at her fuku, and causing a bloody mess.
" Usagi!"
" Usa-chan! How could you be so reckless? You couldn't pay attention. You'll never be the fighter we need of you!" Rei exclaimed, fear and failure causing venom to drip off her tongue. Usagi needed to forfeit her position.
" You didn't protect me. You're supposed to protect me!" She retorted back, shuddering in pain. The feeling was horrid, and the mess left nothing but the terrible realization of failure.
Rei felt guilty, and couldn't handle the blame.
" Damn it Usagi. Damn you to hell! Is it all about you? What about us? Our lives, our families, our loved ones. Do they come before you? You are the princess, I'll give you that. You will be Queen. And you will love a great man, and have a wonderful daughter, and rule over us all! What do we have? A life of duty!
The inner senshi constantly will risk their lives for you. We are only your guardians. How can I have pride in that when it takes away my life of dreams? Usagi, I'm tired of living for you. I want my own life, senshi or no! Renouce your position, and free us!"
Usagi was hurt at the proclamation. She never knew they felt that way. Of course they didn't feel that way, not all of her senshi? They were more to her! They were family, they were her friends. Didn't they see that?
Usagi turned to a hurt Minako, Ami and Makoto. She looked at them questioningly, and her heart fell when she saw the indecision in their eyes.
" Usagi-chan…."
" I…."
The tears welled up, and overflowed down her cheek. No. Not her friends. Not her senshi. The pain overcame her and she ran, just ran, trying to escape the horrible feelings in her broken heart.
" Damn it Rei! I can't believe you did that!" Mako said menacingly, fist raised, eyes red.
" Rei, you know she is worth it all."
" How could you, Rei?"
Rei looked at the accusing eyes, and felt a rush of shame through her. She pushed it down, and her pride and temper came up instead.
" I only said what you all were thinking! And perhaps something good will come out of this."
The others looked at her in guilty fury.
" Like what?"
"……..If she doesn't fight, we don't have to worry about her getting hurt. We can fight the youma in her place, and she will live to become Queen of Tokyo. I'm so sorry….Minna-chan, I don't know what came over me. I just can't see her as the leader we need. Minako-chan is fine for that role. And she is use to it.
I…….Ok I'll say it! She is a coward, a wuss, and a clutz. She's a ditz, she never does good in school. I had hoped maybe she'd grow up. I know she does…but I can't wait any longer! Please. I love Usagi-chan. But she's just not leader material! She'll always be our princess. And she has courage when it matters most. She is just too pure for battle. But we don't need her as Sailor Moon. We need her to live, and grow up. And then maybe she can live for us, just as we live for her."
The others were stunned with the depth of Rei's passion on the subject. They always thought she was jealous of Usagi-chan, perhaps she was, but they thought Rei over ambitious and full of pride.
Maybe she wasn't what they all thought.
" Rei-chan….You're right. We have to do this horrible thing. We must take her position, and protect her."
" Minako-chan, can be our leader. Maybe that'll give Usagi the normal life she wants."
" I can be the leader I was in the Silver Millenium. Usagi will just have to settle for princess."
" I…just hope that when we break her heart, that in time, she will forgive us." Rei looked uncertain, and could have killed herself on the spot.
…….At Mamoru's apartment…….
" They did what?!" Chiba Mamoru looked ready to kill. He would decimate the senshi for their betrayal.
Usagi than told the story, pausing inbetween to cry it out. After a long while, Mamoru began to understand.
" Usako, it's not that big a deal. They can't take your position. I'm sure Rei was just scared. Or envious.
They'll never stop being your friends, Usako. Just your senshi. I can see why they might have did it."
Usagi looked over at him in shock. No way, not Mamo-chan.
" Seeing you hurt like that,may have caused them to outburst. Usagi, maybe…..maybe you shouldn't be Sailormoon. Then you wouldn't get hurt, and you could live on-"
" How could you! You guys just don't understand! I'm stronger than you think. Do you love her?"
" Nani?"
"Rei. Is she better for you?"
" Of course not!"
" Well I'm obviously not right for the role!" Usagi ran out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door.
" Usagi-chan….. I love you, not her, no one else."
End
Usagi wept again as she read and reread her note to her senshi and Prince. She wasn't what they thought! She was stronger than that. Maybe her leaving was what they need.
" Luna-chan. Please don't look at me like that. You can come with me if you like. You and Artemis."
They both nodded, doubts shining in the feline eyes that tried to comfort the moon princess.
………Senshi,
I have gone away. I might never be coming back. You want to be leader, Rei-baka? Well I'll never give that to you! You meant more than words to me, my senshi. I will forever be SailorMoon, and none of you can take that away from me. I will be gone, and you don't have to waste your life on a ditz that can't protect herself. I loved you all, and you turned your backs on me. Damn it, why couldn't you believe in me!?….
Don't worry about me. I will find a place faraway from you.
Sayonara,
Tsukino, Usagi.
She was happy with the way it sounded, and knowing that this was the last time she'd speak with the senshi, one single tear fell onto the sheet, and then she stiffened her resolve to leave.
…….Mamo-chan.
I'm sorry I'm leaving you. I know you didn't do anything to cause this. If you find this note, please don't let the senshi read it. Anyway. I love you. I always have. And I always will. I'm sorry to burst out like that. I…thank you for you trying to put a nice face on their deceit. They don't want me as leader. I'll always be lacking in something to them. Mamo-chan….My dearest Mamo-chan, I am leaving to grow up, to learn, to become worthy of your bride. I'll come back. I promise. Oh Mamo-chan, I'll always be your Usako. But I need to find myself. Onegai, Understand me. Please.
Love you,
Usagi "Usako" Tsukino.
She then left a picture of her in the envelope, added the notes, and her locket. The star light locket. With Mamoru's letter, there were more tears to decorate it. She left these in her room.
" Serenity-sama, Selene-mama, I want to be needed. Send me to a place I'll be needed. I want to have people who care for me they way I am."
With that, she picked up the eternal moon henshin broach, motioned over her feline companions, and began to pray.
" Onegai, Ginzousho, Give me my needs, Grant me my wish. I need to dream. I need to be!"
And with a flash of light that circled the entire city, Usagi Tsukino was gone.