Many things go unnoticed. Or maybe we notice them, we just don't want to. We don't want to see things that aren't meant to be seen. We don't want to notice things that aren't meant to be noticed. Well, we see them anyway.
I see them.
I try not to see, not to read into things. I try to guard my mind from thinking things I don't want to be thinking. Seeing things I don't want to see. I try to keep my self from noticing small smiles, nods of the head.
I don't succeed.
But, I continue to paste a fake smile on my face and pretend everything is okay, hoping one day I will believe that it is. I continue to pretend that my boyfriend isn't cheating on me and my life is grand, hoping one day it will be. And I continue to hope no one will notice.
Well, someone did.
***
Many things are misread. Or maybe we can read into them, we just don't want to. We don't have the time or the patience. We don't care enough to read into things that aren't meant to be read. Well, we read them anyway.
I read them.
People believe I don't, they believe I don't care. I try not to, considering who I am. Who my father is, what my life is leading to. I try to not notice small things in people I don't want to be noticing.
I don't succeed.
But, I continue in this façade and pretend that I don't observe, hoping one day I won't. I continue to struggle to keep my mouth shut and pretend everything is okay, hoping one day it will be. And I continue to pretend I don't notice.
Well, I did.
***
"Ginny? Gin, is there something wrong?" Damn Hermione for being so observant I thought. If only you were like Ron and Harry, completely oblivious to everyone around them. As if proving my point Harry and Ron continued to pile mounds of food on their small plates, fully ignoring Hermione's question and my delay in answering. Hermione huffed in disgust and turned back to me.
"No, nothings wrong. I was just thinking." Lies. "Oh. Well, what were you thinking about?" My goodness, must you know everything? "Well…um I was just…uh. Potions homework!" Hermione, as well as Ron and Harry, jumped at my outburst. "Yea, Potions homework. I have Potions. Homework." And before Hermione could ask any more, I was running out the doors of the Great Hall.
Merlin, can't a girl just get a moment of peace anymore? Everything has to be explained. Apparently my life story as well as my every single move and decision has become very interesting lately. Goodness, I almost wish that something bad would happen so they would stop pestering me. Maybe if I could make something happen, they would-
"Ginny?" Harry called me from down the hallway. "Ginny, wait up!" Maybe if I start running now he won't catch up with me and then I could just say I didn't hear him. Better yet, maybe what he wants to catch up with me for is to finally break it off with me, admit he has been cheating, strap on a pair.
I stopped, rolled my eyes and quickly turned to face a panting Harry. "Yes?"
"Well, um… Ginny I just, um…." I, well um, I just, um um…Spit it out! "I was just, um, wondering where your mind has been lately. You seem so far off all the time."
Well, honestly, I have been thinking about giving you some new suggestions to make sure that I don't catch you're cheating on me. Tip one: When kissing another girl, make sure no ones around before you push her into a broom closet. Tip two: Try not to drool over her while I'm talking to you. It makes things a bit obvious.
"I have just been really stressed Harry. Homework and all. Speaking of which, I must be off. Potions, remember?"
"Yes, right, you had potions homework." He turned his gaze to the wall and almost everywhere in the corridor except me. Maybe he figures his next move is written on the walls or something.
"Well, I must be off. Bye Harry!" And I ran before he could give me a sloppy, awkward kiss. In the odd times when we would kiss, it would be one of those kisses where you want to open your eyes to make sure your not kissing your brother or something. No sparks. No fireworks. Just the little sizzle like when a fire goes out. Boring and disappointing.
I shivered at the thought.
Maybe one day he will notice that I notice. Maybe someday I will tell him. Until then, I actually do have Potions homework I need to get to.
And with that last thought I ran to the common room.
Everything was just a fuzzy blur as I raced to the library. Apparently my Potions homework wasn't as basic as I thought it was, and I don't think Snape will be too happy when my excuse for not finishing is that I forgot. Damn Potions homework. The one day he gives up complicated library worthy homework is the day I forget. Stupid Snape. Stupid Potions. Stupid---
My thoughts were interrupted by the feel of something hard hitting my face and then two strong hands stopping me from falling.
I looked up to see the one and only Draco Malfoy staring back at me with something in his eyes that I couldn't quite place. It doesn't look like pure hatred. It's a start.
Then, just as that thought entered my mind he put on his famous Malfoy smirk and dropped me to the floor. It hurt, but not as much as it would have if he hadn't caught me in the first place.
"Well, look at this. Little Weaslette falling to the ground at my mercy. I always knew this day would come." Oh, I'm gonna wipe that smirk right off your face Malfoy.
And with a swift kick of her foot, Malfoy came tumbling to the ground just as Ginny rose.
"Well, look at this. Little ferret falling to the ground at my mercy. I always knew this day would come." She couldn't hide the smirk that spread across her own face at Malfoy's look of surprise. And just like that, she walked off in the direction of the library, her own smirk never faltering.
***
"Just look at them. I can almost imagine what there stupid couple lovey-dovey conversations would be like. "Oh Ginnykins?" "Yes, snugglebumpkin?" "Would you please pass the butter, muffin?" "Of course, cheesecake." "Sweetums?" "Yes, sugarpie?" "I love the way you pass the butter, my snickerdoodle." "I love the way you take the butter, pookie." "I love the way you—
"Okay, I get it. Thank you for spoiling my meal." Blaise aggressively pushed his plate away and gave me a death glare that could have made Voldemort shiver.
"Oh, don't look at me like that. I know you're just going to start eating it again in a couple of minutes."
"Your right." And with that, he took his plate and started from where he left off.
I looked at her again. What does she even see in him? Scarhead over there doesn't deserve her. She deserves someone better. Someone like me. Okay, maybe not me. I'm no better for her then Blaise. But Potter shouldn't get her. Anyone but Potter should be able to touch her and kiss her and---
"You're drooling again." Blaise commented with a smirk. I looked down to find no drool, but realized that Blaise was finding any reason to comment on my obsession- I mean new found interest- with the youngest Weasley.
Of course I had to tell him. Couldn't just drown in my depression on my own. No, I had to tell Blaise. This is why I should just keep my mouth shut. I have been for my whole life. So why was now any different? Because I had to tell someone how it was killing me that I felt this was. I had to tell someone how I wanted to chop Potter's head off every time I saw them together. Well, more then the usual amount of urge to chop his head off.
I had to tell someone how much I wanted to tell her that he was cheating. Yes, I know. I have known for a while now, but only because it's so bloody obvious. The first day I knew was when I found him kissing another girl. Then I ran through the castle in search for a certain Weasley and break the news to her. That's when I found her. She was crying, sobbing actually.
Then, I found that I wanted to go over there and comfort her more then I wanted to insult her. Much more. Actually, I didn't want to insult her at all. I wanted to help her. I wanted to tell her that Potter was an idiot and that she was much too intelligent and beautiful and perfect to be with a git like him. But instead, I told Blaise. And I have regretted it since then.
"Sod off Blaise." I pushed my full plate away and left the Great Hall. I started wandering for a bit. Dreaming of Ginny. Okay, I was a bit obsessed, but who wouldn't be? She was perfect. Everything about her. Her hair, her freckles, her tiny figure, her chocolate brown eyes, the way she---
I felt someone slam into my chest and immediately flew my hands out just to see that what they caught was the girl that was filling my mind. I thought I was dreaming at first, but then I snapped out of it and realized that she couldn't see me like this. So, I placed on my infamous Malfoy smirk and dropped her as lightly as I could.
"Well, look at this. Little Weaslette falling to the ground at my mercy. I always knew this day would come." What the hell was that? Couldn't just walk away could you Draco? Had to go off making smart-ass comments.
Just then I felt the floor slip out from under me and just like that, I was watching my smirk appear on the face of a certain red-headed Weasley.
"Well, look at this. Little ferret falling to the ground at my mercy. I always knew this day would come." I can't believe it! She just used my own insult against me. I didn't know she had it in her.
And I watched her, in a state of awe, as she walked away from me.