LOVE THY NEIGHBOR

AU. When Javert and Enjolras become neighbors in the same apartment complex they rage war against each other. E.G&I.G Production, REVIEW

Opening Author's note: (by I.G) Hi everyone! This is just a plot bunny that has burrowed itself into my brain and won't dig itself out so I have to write it down so I can move on with my life. E.G's here to help. ((E.G: -waves- Hi everyone!)) this is, a collab (am I just incapable of writing something by myself!?) just a silly little nothing, the beginning will go quickly but that's because we wanna move on with the actual plot. Hugo owns all characters, NOW REVIEW OR I'm gonna take yo thumbs.

"So, my friends! I ask you! Are you happy as an oppressed people!" A young blonde man cried from his soapbox, raising his arms in emphasis. "NO!" The crowd of about 35 responded in one voice.

"What do we need?" Enjolras continued.

"A republic!" The crowd chorused joyously, they're happy energy bouncing off of Enjolras' passionately frustrated energy.

"Why?"

"Because we don't like starving!"
"That was a bit of a given… And because of this we say..?"

"Viva la revolution!" The crowd erupted in cheers, hats were thrown and Enjolras tried triumphantly to continue his speech.

NEARBY

A young officer looked up at Javert, "Shouldn't we stop him? He's really getting the crowd going." He said timidly watching as Enjolras continued to yell his beliefs over cheers of 'huzzah'. "I'll handle this, you watch, rookie." Javert said huskily as he forced his way through the crowd, snatched Enjolras off his high horse (and soapbox) and walked out the same way he walked in.
"The king is—Whoa, wait, let go!" Enjolras cried out in surprise at being dragged by his collar away from the crowd ((I.G No one bothered to follow them because we all know Javert was très scary!)) "Enough out of you, you're going to jail for treason and attempting to start another revolution." Javert said coolly as he continued hauling Enjolras around the corner into a conveniently placed police station ((What do you want from me!?!))

BEHIND BARS

Enjolras shook the bars of his cell furiously and swore; "Let me out!" he yelled, shaking the bars as hard as he could, "You have no right to put me in here! What about freedom of speech?! The Press?! A TRIAL?!"

Javert, who was sitting at his desk, looked up, "You wanna give me your name and make my life easier?"Enjolras glared at him defiantly.

"No? Oh well, I can always get you a friendly roommate, a nice fella named Sharon!" Javert said nonchalantly getting up from his chair.

"My name's Enjolras." The revolutionary said quickly

"The Enjolras family?" Inspector asked astounded.

"Yeah, don't rub it in." Enjolras said gloomily leaning against a bar in his holding cell.

Javert scowled, "Your parents could buy and sell this entire police force a thousand times over with a wave of their hands."

'They're also filthy bourgeois that hate me and my cause."

"So they won't make bail?" Javert asked, brightening on the inside.

"Of course they'll pay it, if the upper class hears that they're only son was sent to prison, they'll never live it down!" He paused, "But when they do find out, they'll come here and verbally assault both of us."

SLIGHTLY LATER

As Enjolras predicted, his parents came (in person) hours later.

"YOU BONE HEAD!!" E's mother raved as she stormed into the police station. Enjolras look up from his prison harmonica playing*, "I can explain everything!"

"Not you, HIM!!" His mother continued, pointing an accusing finger at Javert.

"Oh. Continue then." Our darling revolutionary said crossing his legs and smirking as his parents surrounded Javert's desk.

"Huh?" Javert asked unintelligently.

"You threw him in a holding cell?! With the . . . middle class?" The father accused angrily.

"He's a revolutionary, he was giving a speech when I arrested him," Javert said calmly.

"So!? He's an ENJOLRAS for Christ's sake, you can't do that to royalty."

"We're not royalty! Just— Rich." Enjolras said reluctantly.

"Sit down and shut UP!" She shrieked.

"Yes Ma'am." Enjolras said sitting on the ground obediently as there was no chair.

"But—"

"No buts! I've paid his bail now let him out so I can take him home!"

"Madame, he's—" Javert tried to speak again but was woefully interrupted once more.

"Leaving now, give me the keys." The father said as he stepped up and held out his manicured hand for aforementioned keys. ((I.G I want to put "Shut-up or I'm gonna take yo thumbs." But that's too modern XD)) Javert sighed and reached into his pocket to fish out his keys.

Enjolras, realizing his doom was in Javert's pocket ((E.G In the form of a key)) sprang up from his place on the floor and grabbed the bars. "I'm all too willing to do my jail time, actually!"

"The adults are having a grown up conversation!" The father shouted raising his manicured fist… The father pondered this on how a fist can be manicured but simply left it at that Authoresses are going on limited fuel. Enjolras paled and felt that that was the last pound on the last nail on his only coffin, to shorten things up; he just screwed himself into the ground. "You know uh, Inspector, I did hear that you were going soft after all those millenniums of service."

"Shut up, brat." Javert said dryly.

"Don't tell our son to shut up!" Preston (E's dad) exclaimed angrily.

"Can I tell you to shut up?" Javert asked sarcastically.

"NO! And enough lawly gaggin! Give us the keys now." Madame said as she reached (uninvited) into his pocket and drew out the keys, stormed over to the door and unlocked it, grabbed poor Enjolras by the ear and dragged him out.

OUTSIDE THE POLICE STATION

"Honestly! You can't behave yourself for a few..?"

"It's been years." Enjolras said tartly, Madame then proceeded in brutally twisting his ear "Ow! Okay okay! It's been a few weeks!" Enjolras lied for her sake and partially for him. She let go of him and patted his shoulder, "Now that that's over, what's wrong with your cravat?"

"What do you mean?" The Blonde asked cautiously, the woman tisked and grabbed aforementioned cravat and tightened it to the point were Enjolras couldn't breath. "Ah, that's better."

"Where's your hat?"

"Why's your hair so long? Get a hair cut, there plenty of barbers around here!"

"Wash your face, there's dirt on it."

"Your waist coat's dusty, how did you manage to do that?"

"There's a tear in your pant leg, have your woman sew it up!"

"Your shoes are scuffed."

"Button your vest, you look homeless."

"I-I-I" Enjolras stuttered stupidly trying to fix the many flaws they noticed that weren't really flaws at all.

"Oh forget it, just stay out of trouble and look you best at all times!" Preston scolded as he turned and lead his wife to an idling carriage.

INSIDE POLICE STATION

Javert watched with an unparalleled amusement as he watched from his window as Enjolras was examined and poked and prodded at until his parents walked away, smug as ever. What only dampened his mood slightly was when Enjolras' head turned around slowly like the exorcist and he mouthed "I will get you back for this", and walked away. Javert was unthreatened and pulled out his newspaper, for he had been looking for a new place to live since he realized he had the money for a better apartment…

I.G: Can you guess where this is going???

E.G: Of course they can, we put it in the summary.

I.G: Quiet, yous. NOW REVIEW!!

* All jail birds play the hermonica! Can't you see Blondie woefully playing the harmonica? I sure can! 8D