For SeverusHermioneForever (April)'s prompt: Death, betrayal, love.
Bad Mother
My sweet, sweet angel. My darling baby. My Nymphadora. Dead.
Why? Why did she have to die? I gave up so much for her. My entire family. My friends. My beliefs. Because I loved her! Because she and Ted were my life and now they're dead. Dead, dead, dead!
Dead like my parents. Dead like my cousins. Dead like Bel-
I had to give up my old family, so I could have my new one. And now I have none.
Did she know how much it hurt! Did she she know I didn't want to! Did she have to leave me with nothing!
Every day I wake up and think everything's okay. I wonder if Nymphadora will come home for dinner and if Ted will do what he's told for once and pick up his bloody socks!
And then I realise what woke me. A baby crying. My baby's baby. Teddy. And I roll over and see the empty side of the bed. And I realise they're gone. She's gone. My baby's gone. And she'll never come back.
And it's like losing her again.
And I just want someone to hold me. Someone to stroke my head and say "It's okay Dromeda. You'll be fine. It's okay, I'm here."
The soothing words echo through my memory.
Two little girls, both under five, played in the dying sunlight. Their toes skimmed the grass as they flew their toy broom sticks as high and fast as they would go. But this wasn't fast enough for the littlest one. She urged and bucked until, in one fluid moment she landed in a heap on the ground.
She cried clutching her knee. The second girl, slightly older, but oh so similar, landed heavily a few paces behind her.
"Bella it hurts, it hurts!"
"It's okay. You just took a little tumble. You didn't fall far."
"But Bella, it hurts!"
The older girl wraps her arm around the younger and strokes her head.
"It's okay Dromeda. You'll be fine. It's okay, I'm here. Bella's here."
I want my big sister to come through the door and wrap her arms around me and make all the bad things go away like she always did.
But she too is gone. Gone for so long, and now she can't come back.
I've betrayed my baby.
I want her murderer to make everything all right.
I'm a bad Mother.