C.H.A.R.M.S.
Countless times she had tried to make friends, to fit in with everyone. But she never really did, ever. Not in the muggle world, and certainly not in the magical world. Sometimes, were it not for Harry and the Weasleys, she would think she would be better off in the muggle world; going to secondary, and doing her exams before going to a university to study engineering. It was a secret childhood hobby she never had the chance to continue after she started Hogwarts, and she barely practised it during the holidays.
Her best friends were her best friends, and she loved them dearly for it – that's true and always will be. But they never understood her or tried to emphasize with her and her problems. They were guys, and not very sensitive ones at that – Harry more so than Ron, but still barely. This lack of... not caring, but understanding of her emotions led to them believing something of her that wasn't exactly true.
As she was a girl [which they properly realised only in their fourth year] they quickly assumed that what hurt the most about the insults and the mocking by some other students were the ones centred on her appearance. But while the 'buck-tooth' taunts did affect her for the first four years – her front teeth had always been a sore spot with her – the other ones didn't hurt as much as they should've. She didn't really worry about whether other guys found her pretty or dateable, and she didn't mind that they didn't think she was skinny or that her hair was terrible.
Ron was someone who was very superficial – at first, at least – and she guessed that was why he didn't like her in their first term. She was frizzy haired, buck-toothed, bossy and a know-it-all; they weren't positive traits physically or personality wise. But they became good friends, and that mostly was put behind them. From then on, he would defend her against the 'slimy Slytherins', and she appreciated his, and Harry's, loyalty to her. But it was unnecessary for them to feel insulted on her part when, again and again, her body and looks were commented on in a bad way.
Maybe she should care, and she did a bit. But she cared only for herself. If she was feeling negative about her physical appearance it was because she didn't like it, not because she thought others wouldn't. She had no desire to please the other sex, not now and, if ever, it would be in her twenties. She was career and academically oriented, and her education and friendships were the most important things to her at Hogwarts.
She didn't like when Ron hooked up with Lavender in their sixth year: maybe it was jealousy, or maybe it was an irrational sense of abandonment. She had precious few friends, and she felt she was losing another. She invited McLaggen to the Christmas party – a stupid and irrational decision – but felt no attraction to the boy whatsoever. Not even then did she have an urge to dress up in nice clothes and look pretty for other boys, not even then.
...
Written for The Acrostic Competition by Ebaz.
Hermione-centric, which came to me because of the first chapter of this fanfiction I came across, in which Hermione was in the muggle world and her mother told her someone had come to the house to talk to her. In the story, Hermione dressed up in a tank top and short shorts just in case it was a boy, and that seemed so unlike her to me.
I know it's fanfiction, so it needn't be entirely true to canon, but it inspired me to write this.
Words: 527
Posted: 29th May 2013