Jade's POV

Beck has gone off on his own.

He said he was going to send me letters but every single time I head out the door, my mom tells me that the mailbox is empty.

I called downstairs to her one more time, eventhough I already knew the answer before I even got it.

"Mom," I called.

She slowly came up the stairs to my room and peeped her head in.

I saw her shake her head, as she usually did, and that's when I continued my daily ritual of looking out my old picture from high school.

My mom walked back down the stairs and I picked up my prom picture and gazed at it for a while, smiling and remembering that night.

That night we had the best night ever, but what I didn't know was that he was leaving me that night to go join the army.

Yes, he was going away to do something good, something for our country, but I still was mad at him.

He drove me home that night and I knew something was up when he parked a little further away than he usually did from my house and kept tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

I looked over and him and just knew something was up and he opened his mouth.

When those words came out that he was leaving me, I couldn't believe it!

I took it so hard that he broke up with me and told me that it was for the best.

He told me that I'd probably find someone while he was gone and fall in love with him and forget all about us, but I tried to convince him otherwise.

I gave him one last kiss, my last kiss, our goodbye kiss, and he drove away...out of my heart.

I looked down at the Beck I used to know, the old Beck, the young one because we both were much older now.

I haven't seen him in ten years, I'm almost thirty now and I've changed so he's deffinately changed as well.

I looked at the old me in the picture, running over my face with my thumb and looking up at my reflection in my mirror by my bed.

I've deffinately changed!

My mom interrupted my train of thought when I heard my name being called.

"Mom?" I called down, but she ignored me and just kept calling my name.

I groaned and got out of bed for the first time in a while and ran downstairs to see what all of the fuss was all about and when I saw my mom in front of the TV crying, I stared at the screen in shock.

My mouth hung open and I fell to my knees, my head not looking away from the screen for a second.

Our local army's campsight had been bombed and the reporter answered just what I was wanting to ask, "No bodies are found yet. But we are still searching."

I stared at the TV screen some more, not even blinking once, and my mom realized that I'd seen enough and shut it off.

She looked down at me, still on the floor and holding myself up from falling over completely on the floor crying with just my fingertips, and shook her head. "I'm so sorry honey."

I shook my head as well and forced myself to get up.

She helped me onto the couch, where I sat for a few hours still in shock from the news.

She brought in some dinner, grilled cheese and a bowl of tomato soup, but I didn't want any.

I couldn't eat in this condition.

I thanked her anyways and brought the food back to the kitchen and wrapped it up and put it in the fridge, hopefully to eat later, and went back upstairs to my room and cried my eyes out all night long.

When I finally went to sleep, I dreamed that Beck was okay and came home and that we got married.

But then reality kicked in and the sun shined through my windows, telling me that it was only a dream and it was time to face reality.

Beck was dead, and I knew I couldn't be stable.

I didn't know what else to do.

I had a huge headache from all of the crying the night before so I took a few pills for the pain.

Before I knew it, I took the whole bottle of pills and just sat there on my bed.

Knowing that I was slowly dying, I fell over and tried to look like I was going to sleep, so my mom wouldn't freak out too much.

When I finally died, it felt good, but Beck wasn't there on the other side.

I stood over my dead body wondering why I didn't see Beck.

That's when I realized...Beck was still alive and I died, out of my own stupidity and loneliness.

What was Beck going to do when he found out?

What were my parents going to do?

I felt something come out of my eye, realizing they were tears, I actually laughed.

How was I so lucky to be a ghost and still be able to cry and see my own dead body and the people in my house?

Maybe that was what I had to do...Stay here and wait for my parents to realize that I wasn't asleep, I was dead and wait for Beck to come back from where ever he was.

More tear drops fell from my eyes and I wiped them away, eventhough it was no use anyway.

It wasn't like anyone was going to see me.