Plot: On a sleepless night, Dean takes a break on the hostel room's balcony, and lets his tears flow, until Sam wakes up. Sam's turn to protect Dean. A little Wincest one-shot! Don't say you haven't been warned! Angst, Fluff. Sam x Dean. Dean's POV.
Disclaimer: Sam and Dean aren't mine, my husband would be too jealous otherwise!
Note: This is my very first Supernatural fanfic, so bear with me please! ;-) If you had told me some time ago that I'd write a fanfic about two brothers being in love with each other, I would have looked daggers at you and would have called you a sicko! Lol. But hey, only fools don't change their minds, huh? And I have to admit that when two guys look that damn perfect together, you tend to forget about their family bonds, hehe! So yeah, I'm a sicko too, then!
Oh, and please, also keep in mind I'm French, hence the English mistakes!
STARLESS SKY.
I glance at the clock radio. 3.17am. I drove all day and I'm fucking tired, but I just can't sleep. Seems like a routine, these days. I sit up in bed, rub my eyes and look at him. He is sleeping deeply in the other bed. I've always loved to watch him sleep, to listen to his breath... I used to watch him sleep too when we were kids. There's something... relaxing about it. Something that calms me and makes me forget about everything, temporarily at least. His face looks so peaceful...
I get out of bed and come near him to run my fingers through his hair, but my hand stops in mid-air, and I just pull the blanket back over him.
I make my way to the bathroom and splash cold water over my face. I look at my reflection in the mirror. Those dark rings under my eyes which make me look much older remind me that I really should get more sleep. I let out a sigh and go out on the balcony. That hostel room is pretty awful but it's got a nice balcony, with a view on the park. The moon is low and an owl is hooting somewhere.
I sit on the bench and bury my head in my hands. I feel so depressed. I don't know why. Or I know too well, more like. I have a lump in my throat. I'm so tired of this life. Ghosts, vampires, demons... That, and... Well, never mind. Tears are running down my cheeks and make me feel like a complete prat. I've been holding them back for too long and I can't anymore...
"Hey!"
I nearly jump out of my skin. Sam is standing in the glass door frame, wearing nothing but his underpants.
"Dammit, you scared the hell out of me, man!" I yell, quickly wiping my tears away with my sleeve.
"What are you doing here?" He asks, ignoring my comment.
"Couldn't sleep, so I thought coming here and counting the stars might help," I reply, forcing a smile to my lips.
He raises an eyebrow and makes his I don't believe a word of what you're saying, Dean face. I gulp.
"The sky is starless this night," he points out.
I look up to the sky. Not a single star. Not even the flashing lights of some plane. Shit.
"Hmm... Yeah, too bad... I guess I should go back to bed and count sheep instead," I say, trying to laugh.
Pathetic.
He sits down next to me on the bench and I try my best to avoid his eyes. I just don't want him to see me in such a state. I don't want him to think I'm weak. I don't want him to be worried about me. He already has enough on his plate.
Just don't look at me, Sammy. Please. Don't.
"Dean, are you ok?"
I freeze.
"Sure, why do you ask?"
"Your eyes..."
Fuck. He noticed.
"Oh, that! Dust in my eye. You'd never think such a minuscule thing can hurt that much, huh?"
He sighs.
"Dean, stop that, will you? You're my brother, I know you by heart. I can read you like an open book..." he says, in an exasperated tone.
"What on Earth are you talking about, Sam? Listen, we have to get up early so we'd better go back to..."
I can't finish my sentence. He's just cupped my face in his hands and forces me to look at him. I keep trying to avoid his eyes to no avail.
"Dean..." he says, letting out another sigh.
He is now looking at me straight in the eye, the moonlight playing beautifully on his pretty face. I'll just never cease to be amazed at how handsome he looks. My heart skips a beat. The silence between us is heavy, and I just can't stand the look of concern on his face. I have to break the silence. I have to reassure him. This is nothing. Just a little moment of confusion and despair, but I'll be strong again in a minute. I have to be strong. For him. Sam... Who will protect him if I'm not strong enough anymore to do it myself?... Who will –
Before I even know, he captures my lips in a very soft kiss. It is brief, but it is enough to leave me breathless. I am panting and I bet my cheeks turned red. Fortunately enough, it is too dark for him to notice. Did it really happen? Is this for real? I bit my lips and cast him an inquisitive look.
"Dean," he whispers, wiping a tear away from my cheek with his thumb. "It's ok, you just can't wear that mask all the time... It has become too heavy throughout the years. I don't think I've ever told you before how much I admire you. I am proud of you. You've always been my hero. But you know, even heroes have the right to bleed... I appreciate what you're doing for me, but I also feel bad about it. You've already done too many sacrifices for me. So drop that mask, take a break and let's swap roles, at least for this night..."
If he doesn't stop, I'll burst into tears again. This is too much for me to handle.
"What are you on about?" I yell, struggling to break free of his grip.
He gives me one of his puppy looks and then offers me his most beautiful smile. Damn it. I am literally melting.
"Shh..." he whispers, placing a finger on my mouth, "let me protect you, for once..."
Our lips meet again for a more intense kiss this time. He licks my lower lip, begging for entrance. I let him in and our tongues intertwine in a very passionate kiss that warms my wounded heart.
"Never knew you were such a good kisser, Winchester," he teases me as he breaks the kiss.
"You're not too bad yourself... for a virgin," I smirk.
"I'm not a virgin, for fuck's sake!" he protests.
"Bitch!"
"Jerk!"
He bursts out laughing. He's so gorgeous when he smiles like that...
I am about to tease him again when he wraps his arms around me, and hugs me.
"Dean... I love you...," he whispers in my ear. "I love you more than you can ever imagine..."
Those words send a tingle up my pine. This is definitely the happiest moment of my whole existence.
"Sure you do, I told you billions of times, I'm irresistible!" I joke through sobs.
He laughs again, and I don't want this to stop. Ever. I hold him even tighter, as if I would never let him go.
"Don't worry," he says, in a barely audible voice, "I'm not going anywhere without you, Dean."
Dammit, he really reads me like an open book... I smile and kiss him again.
It doesn't feel weird at all, it just feels... like home...
Published on November. 1st 2010
Thanks for reading!