I don't own anything! Hope you enjoy it though!
The little things.
They hurt the most.
I don't know why.
But they do.
The hair left on the pillow.
The half-empty can of soda.
The song on the radio that no one sings to.
The book left on the coffee table,
The bookmark forever marking her place.
It's the little things
that you can't ignore.
The things that you don't touch
Because doing so,
would be admitting
That there would be no more little things.
Maybe that's why
they hurt the most
Cloudy.
Cloudy and warm. One of those days where you expect it to be cold and dreary. But then when you step outside... It surprises you.
Ironic really. It fits this day. She was always like that.
People would see her from across the room and assume she was cold. An outcast. Then you'd experience all that was her. She saw things other people didn't. She saw the side of you that was lonely or hurt. The side that often got pushed aside because it is uncomfortable to deal with. To think about.
Now it's raining.
I wish they would put up charms. Or something. They are just standing there.
In those suits.
Getting wet.
Never thought I'd see the day where Harry and Ron wore suits. On their own. We didn't even know they were going to. But it always was the three of them. None of us were ever really part of it. Sometimes I liked to think I could join them, but it would have never happened. Even now, with her gone, they are still separate from all of us.
The only ones not in dress robes.
The only ones not using charms because of the rain.
The only ones who acknowledge the fact that she was muggle-born.
We probably should have thought about it. She may have spent the last 8 years as the brightest witch of her age… but she was born and raised as a smart normal girl. Magic may have been something she loved, but it when it came down to it, she did always do stuff the muggle way.
I don't think any of us had any idea how much they both loved her.
I used to tell people, they were like siblings. Brothers and sister. That was it. I think even then I knew that was a lie.
It wasn't just Ron either. Harry too. I denied it to myself for years. But after seeing him die just as much as Ron when they were told… I can't deny it.
Flashback:
"Harry! Don't you dare throw me in the water!"
"Aww come on Ginny! You know you want to go for a swim. You just said you were hot!" Harry yelled right before throwing me in. I couldn't wait to get him back. Him and Ron. Ron should have saved me! I am his sister! That means they both are going to get it. They should know better than to mess with me! But apparently the boy who lived got lucky again, because right as I got to my wand, Mom called.
"Boys. Ginny. I need you to come here for a minute please."
Both Harry and Ron looked at me then at each other. Mom hadn't yelled. She hadn't sounded happy. She'd actually sounded like she was about to cry. As we ran back to the house, I got this feeling that something was wrong.
Stepping inside the house it felt like we were back in Hogwarts after the final battle. Mom was sitting at the table with her head in her hands. Dad looked pale as he stood behind mom rubbing her back. Professor McGonagall was standing near the fireplace shaking. Shacklebolt was drinking some of Mom's special tea, his eyes swollen.
"Mrs. Weasley, what's going on?" Harry asked looking back and forth over the people there.
"Yea Mom, What's wrong? You all look like someone just died."
Ron never did have any tact. At his words my mom started sobbing. My dad simply gathered her up and slowly rocked back and forth. Before we could say anything Shacklebolt stood up from his seat and looked at both the boys.
"Harry, Ron. I am so sorry. We didn't think we needed to worry as much anymore. We thought we'd gotten them all. But it looks like there were some death eaters that we didn't know about. She fought hard and got most of them, but one got a lucky shot in. By the time the alarms alerted us of the use of an unforgivable, it was too late to save her. Boys… Hermione was killed this morning in her home. Apparently she managed to kill 3 of them before they got her wand. From what we can get she fought hard, but they tortured her a lot. Then left her there to bleed to death. She died a few minutes after we got there. I am sorry. I don't know if there is anything else I can say."
Silence. They said nothing.
I wasn't watching Shacklebolt. I know I probably should have, but the moment he had apologized, to just them, I knew. Not how she died, but that she was gone. So I watched them. That was both the longest and the shortest silence I have ever experienced. Mom's sobs faded into the background. The only thing I could see was the color drain from both their faces. The denial in their eyes. Then, it broke. Surprisingly, it was Harry that exploded, not Ron.
"That's not funny. It's not. You shouldn't make jokes like that. Hermione! You can come out now! Jokes over! HERMIONE! Sir, this is really not funny."
He was looking at each person, the slumped shoulders of my dad, the quivering form of my mom. He watched as McGonagall sank to the floor. He looked to Ron who was shaking his head. Finally, back to Shacklebolt as he slowly walked to him.
"Please, tell me your lying. Tell me this is a joke. Ron… Tell them! Tell them this isn't funny."
Ron looked at him and leaned back against the wall. Slowly sinking down to the floor he just kept shaking his head. Looking at Harry he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stone. It looked like nothing, but if you looked closely, you would see 3 runes sketched in the top. One glowed green, one glowed red. The third though. Nothing. Ron's hand closed and it was like the dam broke. He just lost it. My mom was on the floor in a second, rocking him back and forth. I didn't understand, but apparently Harry did. He pulled out an identical stone from his pocket and saw the same thing. The green and red lights shown on his palm, but the third remained dark. It was in that moment that every bit of life left his eyes. He simply backed up towards the door and turning and ran.
"Harry! Harry stop! Please" I tried. But he was gone by the time I got outside.
Coming up behind me, Shacklebolt placed a hand on my shoulder. "The house has been cleaned up. I felt like there was a good chance he would go there. All that's left there is the pieces of her wand. It didn't feel right for us to take it. He'll be back in a few minutes."
So we stood there. I looked back and through the screen door I could see Dad sitting on the floor with Mom and Ron. And so I waited.
Later, Shacklebolt told me that Harry was only gone for about 5 minutes. But to me, to me it felt like eternity. Finally, he appeared with a pop. He was facing us, but he was looking at his hands. He'd found her wand. Or the pieces of it. It looked like it had been snapped in two. He was staring at it. Suddenly Ron appeared next to him. From the startled sounds inside I guess he'd disapparated suddenly. Eyes swollen, he reached out and took one half of it from Harry. They looked at each other for a few seconds, then it was like someone cut the strings holding them up. They collapsed into each other and down to the ground. I wanted to go help, go say something. But there was nothing I could say. I still hadn't wrapped my head around the fact that she was gone. How was I supposed to help them? So I stood there and watched, long into the night, as they held each other and cried.
End Flashback
I don't think either of them even knew they weren't alone. They were just staring at her grave. Professor McGonagall was speaking, but I honestly didn't hear anything she said. I don't think anyone really listened. We are all watching them. Waiting. Since that day they were told they haven't cried. They haven't really done anything.
I think Harry was even angry with her. He blamed her for dying in those first few days. Wouldn't even speak to anyone during the day but at night we could hear him yelling. Yelling at her... God... Anyone he could think of. I almost wish they had gone somewhere else and not stayed with us. It was hard dealing with his anger and Ron's grief. Ron just stared at the door during the day as if waiting for her to walk in and he always ended up on the couch at night.
Sleeping facing the door.
Always the door.
I wish I knew what to say or what to do. But there really isn't anything I could say. Because in the end, the only one who can fix this, is her. Always her. Forever her.
So we waited. Knowing that it was coming. What, I don't know. But something was.
So in silence, I watched as they stood there soaking wet.
Finally, Harry slowly reaches in his pocket. Then Ron. Both pull out something. I try and see it, but the rain has gotten harder. I can't make it out. Until Harry started talking. That's when I realized what it was. It was her wand. They each had a part of it.
"You know, her wand fit her. Ten and three quarter's inches. Dragon's heartstring. Vine Wood. They say the wand chooses the wizard. It's true. When we were in our 7th year, she gave me a book on wandlore. Said she thought I'd enjoy it. Surprisingly I did. Ron, you read it too didn't you?
I can't make out their faces, but I can hear the smile in Ron's voice.
"Yea. I was surprised. It was really good. Hermione was good at that though. She read all the time, but she only ever told me to read books that she knew I would like. She was always right too. I remember after reading that, I asked her what her wand was made out of. I probably didn't even have to ask, I bet I could have guessed it. It makes sense. Vine wood. She always was one who once she decided you were worth her help and friendship, you couldn't escape it. Her loyalty to everything she believed in was unsurpassed."
Harry started laughing. It didn't sound right though. It wasn't the way he used to laugh. It was emptier… but it was a laugh. "Yea and dragon heartstring. She was the bravest of us. People always overlooked it, but she was the one who wouldn't hesitate to stand up for what she believed was right. She would do anything for anyone. No questions asked. And standing up for what she believed in, even when her friends didn't support her. We should have. But, I guess I always thought we'd get another chance. She… she was everything I wished I could be."
And with that, they both walked forward. I really don't think they even realized anyone else was there. As always, it was just the three of them. Even in death, she was their whole world. They placed her wand on top of her grave, and then with that. They turned. Seeing the rest of us for the first time. They aren't smiling. They aren't laughing. They seemed, incomplete.
I have always wished I could be part of their group. I always thought that it was them that chose to close themselves off to everyone else. But maybe, just maybe, it wasn't their fault. Because even now, watching them walk towards us, I don't feel like I am part of them. That any of us are.
She was and always will be more then I am. By being who she was, she brought the boys up with her.
They join us silently. As we start to walk away, I look over to the boys one last time. With every step they take, I begin to realize how much of themselves they are leaving behind with her. I wonder how much of them we will have when life becomes normal again.
Two years. It took two years for them to be together again. I am surprised it took that long.
Harry was the first to go. He made it a year. It was a year ago today that he was found in his apartment. The doctors say his heart gave out. He didn't kill himself, though honestly we all weren't sure at first. No, his heart simply couldn't take it anymore.
Ron was next. He held out for a long time. We knew he was going though. The day of Harry's funeral, he stood by himself again. But he wasn't upset. He didn't look down at the grave, never spoke. He just stared at the sky. When the service was over, Mom sent me over to get him. It was there I heard him whisper, right before he followed me back to everyone else, "Just a little bit longer. I am almost done."
He made it another year. To the day. We found him this morning. Same way we found Harry. No suicide, not purposeful act. He simply, fell asleep.
He fell asleep, and woke up with them…
It's cloudy again today.
Cloudy and warm.
I guess that's her way of telling me they are ok. That I can stop looking and waiting. Because they are back with the only person that can make it better. The only person that ever saw everything they were.