Chapter 1
Back to old memories
Severus Snape had just finished extracting some of the most private memories and tipped them into the Pensieve when the door of his office opened and closed back shut again. He straightened a little and turned to face a rather slight-looking dark-haired teenage boy. The expression of his bright green eyes was both apprehensive and defiant, making the corner of the teacher's mouth curl and his own eyes narrow. Something told him Potter didn't practice emptying his mind ... again.
"Ready, are you, Potter?" – he asked snidely.
The boy's face was stony, his eyes focused on a spot above his teacher's head when he answered curtly – "Yes...sir."
Snape's black eyes glittered, and a sneer was his only response. Well, if Potter didn't practice, it made things worse only for his silly self. Snape didn't care about the boy, his only worry was that the headmaster kept asking him how Harry's Occlumency lessons were progressing and urging him to encourage the boy. But Snape wasn't going to make it any easier for Harry to learn. Quite on the contrary, he was enjoying watching Potter struggle fruitlessly. This, he thought, was an adequate reward for the miserable years he spent studying at Hogwarts, watching Potter senior and his gang run around the school with unbearably superior attitudes...
Abruptly, his mind snapped back to reality as the Potions Master realized that Harry was eyeing him rather curiously, waiting for the lesson to start. Somewhat irritated, Snape said softly:
"Let's begin, then, shall we? Wand at the ready, Potter! One ... two ... three ... Legilimens!"
At the end of two hours, feeling slightly murderous, and greatly relieved, Snape dismissed Harry.
"Do not forget to practice every night, Potter. Though on second thought ... I very much doubt it will help you anyway"- he called at the boy's retreating back. The filthy look Harry gave his Professor over his shoulder was positively priceless. When the door closed, Snape chuckled softly, then walked back to his desk and sunk into the armchair, stroking his chin. The Potter boy did look like his father. At times the Potions Master found himself staring at this replica of James during his classes or at mealtimes in the Great Hall and felt his heartbeat quicken slightly. But the impression evaporated as soon as either caught the other's eye – Lily Evans' emerald eyes were looking at him from James' face.
Snape sighed and shook his head, hoping to scare away the memories hidden deep inside his mind, so deep that none, not even the Dark Lord could find them, should he want to. A thought about Dumbledore came to him, but Snape trusted his discretion - the headmaster would not delve into his mind without asking permission. His gaze fell onto the silvery substance in the shallow basin, and he took a sharp breath. The face of a fifteen-year old Potter swam on the surface, mouthing soundlessly. Snape's first thought was Harry, but then he noticed that the boy's eyes were not dazzlingly green – they were hazel. The man watched the picture fade into a swirl of white and silver and then leaned back into his armchair, eyes closed tight. This memory was one of the few he would like to be wiped clean out of his brain, so that it wouldn't return to haunt him any more.
This was so long ago, and yet Snape remembered those two days in full detail.
Less then a week passed since he got off the Hogwarts Express on the first of September. He was sitting at the Slytherin table with the Lestrange brothers and Bellatrix Black, when a school owl landed in front of him and stuck out its leg for Severus to untie a small scroll of parchment. Before opening it, he glanced around – Bella and Rodolphus Lestrange were in deep conversation and could hardly take their eyes from each other, while Rastaban was too busy with his breakfast to take any notice of his surroundings. The boy's glance turned to the Gryffindor table and instantly fell on a group of four people. They were Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and James Potter. His James. And, as if he felt him looking, James turned his head. For a brief second, their eyes met. James' gaze shifted away almost instantly, making Severus wonder. This was rather strange, he thought, considering the way things were between them, back in their third year... Severus shook himself mentally and proceeded to reading the note. It contained a single sentence, scrawled hastily in the oh so familiar bold handwriting: "Friday, midnight, usual place" "That's odd, now – Severus thought – He never was so lame before. What is this all about, I wonder?"
Bella's voice made him snap out of the uneasy thoughts. He crumpled the note and set it on fire, watched the ashes flutter down on the floor and only then asked, trying his best to sound relaxed: "What were you saying?"
Bellatrix enveloped him with a searching glance. "I asked whom was that note from, Snape. And what was the point of burning it? Afraid someone will read your correspondence?" The sneer in her voice was so obvious it was no use ignoring it. Feeling suddenly angry, he replied: "That was from my father. And it's no one's business why I burned this letter!" The girl's eyes narrowed under the slightly heavy lids, but she nodded, to show that she was satisfied with the answer. He didn't like the way the corner of her mouth twitched when she looked at him, but shrugged it off – he was getting paranoid, she couldn't suspect anything.
The rest of the day and the following morning passed in a feeling of mounting tension and uneasiness. When he crossed James in the corridors he couldn't catch his eye, and that added to the apprehension welling steadily inside him. What the more, he noticed that Bella kept stealing glances at him. Some were curious, and some – plain suspicious. Something told Severus that he'll need to be extra careful while sneaking out of the common room at night... Yet, oddly enough, he managed to slip away from the common room without hindrance – perhaps Rodolphus took Bella for a night time stroll? Whatever it was, Severus was relieved to find that both were out of his way.
He crept through the dungeons, lighting his way with the tip of his wand, crossed the Entrance Hall, where his steps echoed sickeningly, climbed several stairs, took a few shortcuts to avoid the caretaker and found himself on the third floor facing a picture featuring two Dryads being chased by a Satyr. Now, however, they were asleep in a tangled heap under a bush, all three snoring loudly. Severus' lip curled. He muttered the password "willow wand", and a polished door appeared to his right. He entered into a circular room gently lit by candles set in braces on the walls. There was a big pool sunk right in the middle of it and a sofa on the far side, running the length of the wall. Severus glanced at his watch – he arrived a quarter of an hour earlier. Pulling a grimace he went and settled himself on the sofa, staring at the empty pool.
His memory took him back to the point where everything started for him and James. It was at the very beginning of their third year. "No, before that, - he corrected himself mentally,- I noticed the changes at the Hogwarts Express"
He walked out of his compartment to escape the sight of Rodolphus and Bella talking in low voices, laughing quietly, their hands "accidentally" touching now and again, in short – being all over each other ( as he called it). He was standing in the corridor, letting the wind from the open window blow in his face, when a familiar voice reached his ears.
"James, I'm bored stupid of watching you and Remus play wizard's chess! We know you're a lousy player, you should know it too by now!"
Amid snorts of laughter another voice answered in mock outrage: "How dare you assume such nonsense, Black! I'm the best at everything here!"
Severus rolled his eyes. He heard Sirius Black answering back calmly: "Potter, you prat, he won the last game in five moves, you want any more proofs? Leave the poor chessmen in peace and let's do something sensible before I hit you, you 'best in everything' loser!"
More laughter followed the reprimand, then there was a sound of a scuffle, an indignant "Hey!" from a third voice and the unmistakeable sound of something small falling to the floor and squeaking high-pitchedly. The next moment a nearby door slid wide open and out of it fell Black, shielding his head from flying chessmen ( who were still squeaking), screaming "Knock it off, Remus!", closely followed by Potter ("You will regret it, once I get my wand, Moony!").Finally, out walked Lupin, holding two wands in one hand and levitating the chessmen figurines with his own wand in the other. He propped his back to the wall and watched them struggle for a minute with a serene smile, then he waved his wand lazily and the squeaking chessmen fell to the floor with a clatter, showering Black and Potter.
"Ow!" – Black pulled himself upright, taking the hand Lupin offered him and felt his head gingerly. "That's going to be one large lump! What's got into you, Moony?!"
"I merely couldn't let you two idiots break my chessboard during that wrestling match, and, besides, what if a Prefect went storming down the corridor to get you in detention? This isn't the way I pictured a glorious return to school – having detention on the first evening we arrive."
"You keep worrying about detentions and Prefects as much, Moony, and you'll become one of them next!" – Potter snatched his wand back from Lupin's hand.
Lupin answered, a shadow of a smile on his face: "At least I have a chance of becoming one, unlike you two, James."
Black looked outraged and Potter said indignantly: "Moony, did you seriously think, even for one second, about either of us becoming a Prefect?! We'll have no life! Not with that Lucius Malfoy as Head Boy, anyway. I'd never want to be inferior to some stinky Slytherin!"
"Speaking of stinky Slytherins...",- Black said slowly. Severus had been wondering when someone will finally notice him and braced himself for what was to come. "Well well well... look who's here! Is eavesdropping a House tradition, Snape?" – the Gryffindor advanced on him, wand raised, ignoring the warning glance from Lupin and a frightened squeak from Pettigrew, who poked his head out of the compartment.
"There was no need to eavesdrop on you, scumbag, as you didn't bother to keep your voice at a normal level",- Severus spat back, wand at the ready.
"Language, Snape! You don't want me to get angry, do you? Scourgify!"
Severus' lips had barely formed the word "Impedimenta!" when he thought he heard two voices echo it and the next moment he was knocked off his feet by the tripled force of his own spell. He fell to the floor, hitting his head on the sill in process. He passed out for a moment and when he opened his eyes his vision was slightly blurry. But that didn't change the fact that what he first saw was Potter's face near to his, with something like genuine concern in hazel eyes. He found them exceptionally handsome, those eyes. He must have taken a good knock, to start thinking like that. Severus shook his head and found that it was being held up gently.
"How is he, James?" – came Lupin's voice from above.
"Conscious, at least." – Potter answered, his eyes still locked with Severus'. It was then, at this moment, that Severus realized that something strange was going on with Potter, and, what the more, it affected him as well. But that was impossible. There couldn't be anything in common between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin in general, and himself and Potter in particular! Dodging the gentle hand, he stood up jerkily and was about to do something stupid, when a familiar voice drawled smoothly from behind him: "So, Potter, barely boarded on the Express and already having fights? Tut-tut-tut. Now, let's see ... Potter, once we arrive at Hogwarts, I shall inform the Head of Gryffindor House of your behavior and she will certainly give you the detention I cannot give out just yet. It would be best if she banned you from playing Quidditch, but I won't get my hopes too high... You say as much as the first word of that sentence again, Black, and you'll be next in line for getting detention. Snape – you follow me." Lucius Malfoy, as usual, managed to make a theatrical appearance out of nowhere, making Severus wonder (as usual) whether he was doing it on purpose or being theatrical really was part of Malfoy's personality. He followed the new Slytherin Prefect and turned around on a sudden impulse. James Potter stood in the corridor, watching him go.