(A/N: Sex and Love are two very different things, and I've often wondered if our favorite Rock-Tumbler is capable of determining the difference. This is my version.

And by the way, a lot of people aren't to please when I have Scott drink beer in fics. In my defense, I try my best to make my stories pertain to what I experience in real life. (Though I personally don't like beer. Too bitter) Scott's 17 or 18 years old (19 in this fic) and it's not uncommon. More than that, he is the leader of the X-Men, I personally don't find it so surprising that he needs a pick me up. I'm not saying he gets trashed. I suggest everyone to read a fic called "Smoke", by goddess of darkness3 under the X-Men Evolution category. Hopefully you'll understand where I'm coming from.

Assuming that I didn't just loose any readers already, this fic is based on the B-Side song by AFI, called "On The Arrow".

Oh, and one more thing. This is not, nor will it ever be, a ScottxLance fic. Thanks. Enjoy)

You know when you wake up in the middle of the night, especially if you're not in your own bed, you forget where you are for a few minutes? That happened to me that night.

Wait, wait, wait. There's probably a lot of stuff you don't know since we took down Apocalypse, so let me start there.

After we imprisoned the strongest, and possibly first, mutant in existence, everything started changing for me. Xavier offered all mutants involved to join the Xavier Institute, not as X-Men, just as students. Toad, Blob, Pietro, his sister, and Colossus accepted almost right away. Mystique and Magneto vanished, Pyro claimed he had better things to do, and Gambit just claimed it 'wasn't his style'.

I turned him down.

I continued to live in the brotherhood house by myself to try and figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life…before she came. Kitty Pryde showed up one day, with no warning, 'just to talk'.

And that's what we did. We talked from sunset to sunrise…all about our futures. Every time I tried to talk about her, she would always reverse it. Kitty's a great talker, as well as listener. I've never had anyone so interested in my life, not once. Eventually, I began to break.

I told her everything. From the day I was thrown into foster care, all the way up to the day we met in Chicago. I told her that I grew up without any real friends. I never had a buddy to talk to when the shit began to hit the fan. I was always alone, which was why I began to construct a personal and selfish relationship with my powers…which is geological manipulation.

I think that was the first time I cried since I was 10 years old. She was there to comfort me. To embrace me. To tell me that I wasn't a fuck up. To tell me that I was going to be okay.

That was when I accepted Xavier's offer.

Which leads me back to this room 3 months later. Not the room that Xavier given me. At first, I didn't recognize this room at all. The room I had only had one bed and was full of metal and rock posters, clothes everywhere, and what not. This room had another bed, and a strange blend of girly and gothic decorations.

And then I saw who was in the bed next to me, and it all came back to me.

He said,

"Who truly belongs here?"

"Not I," she stared.

"I'll lie here with you"

Rogue, Kitty's roommate, went to the city with Ororo for a couple of days looking at colleges. Kitty and I decided to watch a movie in her room since we actually had some privacy. It wasn't our intention to spend the night together, even though we've done so a few times before. However, sex was never involved, until that night.

I don't know what came over us that night. The next day she was leaving for Chicago to visit her family for the holidays, who, for good reason, hate my guts. I kept telling her I didn't want her to leave. And then she said she'd only be gone for two weeks. And then…one thing led to another…and….it happened.

Although I never told her, I was experienced. I knew she wasn't, which was the reason why I felt so guilty. It was 4 in the morning when I woke up, and I just couldn't help but stare at her. How could I do that to her? Yes, she agreed. Hell, if I remember correctly, it was her idea. But that didn't change anything. I didn't want to defile her like that.

I put my feet on the floor and placed my hands on my head.

I could barely believe it. When we got back together, I promised myself not to think with my dick with her. I promised!

I slipped on my destroyed jeans and headed downstairs. I should be regretting what happened that night. She was 17 and I was 19. It was sagitery rape. More than that…it was just plain irresponsible.

But for some reason, I don't regret it at all. In fact, I'm somewhat glad it happened. But I just felt so, for lack of a better word, confused. I regret it, but I don't. I was happy it happened, but I wasn't. I had no idea what was going on in my head.

He knows

No one shines forever

They change with the weather

One of the things I admitted to Kitty that day she come to the house was that I never had anyone. All my life, I've gone through things like adolescence, girls, mental growth, and many more things without any advice or anyone to talk to about it. My family dumped me when I was 5, and I've been alone ever since.

Kitty was a great listener, but the plain fact was, she was too young. She's my girlfriend, and I don't have a single problem with that. But I don't think she's ready to take on all the shit that's going on in my head. Not only have I lived longer than her, I've gone through so many more things than her.

At that point, I just needed someone who could sympathize… or just something to drink to calm my head.

Before I came to the institute, I was a casual smoker. There was no way Kitty couldn't know, even though I never once lit up in front of her, the smell was on my clothes and my breath, but she never said anything about it. Now, instead of a cigarette, I find drinking soda or juice to be a mental substitute.

He said,

"I've now stayed too long here"

"Goodbye," she said.

"I'll wait here for you"

I went to the mansion kitchen, wearing nothing but a pair of ripped jeans, and opened the fridge. All they had was 7up, and I'm not a big fan of anything lemon-lime.

No Coke. No Pepsi. No Dr. Pepper. No Root Beer. Nothing.

When I first moved in, Kurt Wagner gave me a friendly notice that the mansion sometimes has a day or two of grocery shortage due to emergencies and what not. That night was just my 'lucky' night.

I sat at the kitchen table and placed my hands on my head, which became an exaggerated habit of mine. When I use my powers, I get intense migraines. Sometimes they get out of control, which would explain my habit.

The truth is, the soda wasn't what was bothering me.

Kitty and me always felt…right. But after what we did that night, it just felt so… 'wrong' isn't the right word. But neither is 'right'. I know I sound like a kid going through puberty, but I can't help it.

I was totally oblivious to where I go from here.

Suddenly, I heard a loud "clank!" on the table. I lifted up my head to see the cause of the noise. It was an opened glass bottle of Corona.

"Looks like you could use it," Scott Summers told me with a smirk.

He knows

The winds carry sorrow

As they leave she'll follow

They leave tomorrow

I didn't say anything at first. I just stared at the man a red cycloptic visor.

Him and me have a history. We were both leaders of our packs. At first, it began classically. He was the good guy. I was the bad guy. Simple.

But as the year went on, we dove into a bitter rivalry. Every time we entered a room together, we made anything and everything into a huge competition. To make matters worse, my now-girlfriend was officially on his side.

At first, I didn't want to take the beer. At that point, we still strongly disliked each other. Even though we took down Apocalypse together and we now live under the same roof, we couldn't even stand to be in the same dinning room with each other. When I moved in, our rivalry ended. Now it was just bitter hatred.

He was wearing work-out clothing and his cycloptic looking visor, so I assumed Mr. Goody-two-shoes was doing some early morning work out sessions. I wanted so badly to tell him to go play in the danger room, but the fact remained…I needed a pick-me-up.

"Thanks," I mumbled to him as I picked up the glass bottle.

As I said, we weren't friends. He was about to leave the room, but something stopped him. Maybe it was that I pounded down half the bottle in the first sip.

"You okay?" he asked me with a raised eyebrow.

"Fine," I spat at him bitterly.

He let out a hopeless laughed as he was about to leave the room once again. However, something else stopped him. This time, I had no clue what it was.

"Listen, Alvers," he began to speak as he began to approach me a little quickly. I prepared myself for a fight…just in case. "This is bullshit."

"Hey," I said with a smart ass smirk. "You gave me the beer."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about," he said to me. He took a quick sip of his beer, which made me laugh at little. Who knew that the boy scout would drink a beer before 21? "You come to this institute, and all you do here is ignore everyone!"

I really didn't need that. Not right then…but I never once backed down from him.

"Your professor invited me here," I shot back at him.

"Yeah, to help you!" He rose his voice, but quickly quieted down upon realizing the rest of the house was sleeping. "You don't except help from anyone. You don't listen to anyone. Not even Toad or Fred! Them two, Pietro, and Wanda are all getting along here fine. Wanda's even beginning to call the professor 'Uncle Charles' again!"

Why would Wanda ever call him that? I had no clue. I chose to ignore it.

"Why should I trust anyone in this place?" I asked him just after taking a sip. "Why should I trust you? Xavier? Wolverine? Any of them?"

He didn't answer, he just scoffed at me. He was beginning to see that I was a hopeless case, just like I did at the time. He shook his head as he took another sip.

Fragments of joy torn apart

A freshly drained heart

That beats

Disguise themselves through him

"Listen, man," he called me out again. "If you come here seeking help, then there's no reason why I should bother you. But if you came here only because you think you have a chance at fucking Kitty-"

I snapped.

I slammed my bottle on the table and took off towards Scott. I grabbed by his tank top and I shoved him violently against the refrigerator, almost knocking it over.

He didn't drop his bottle.

I wasn't wearing a shirt, so he had no leverage on me.

He braced himself for a punch, but I didn't lift my fist. I just grabbed his tank tightly, and stared a thousand daggers into his red visor.

I felt pressure in my head.

The ground began to vibrate a little. I'm sure he felt it too.

His forearms guarded his head, bottle in hand, just incase I began to swing….and God, I wanted to. He had just said the absolute worst thing he could have possibly said to me. After what happened earlier that night, I was in no mood to defend my relationship with Kitty.

He quickly reached for the button on his visor. I put more pressure on him against the refrigerator. The pressure in my head rose, as did the vibrations under our feet.

Suddenly, Scott's expression changed. He let go of his visor and stared at me. Not the same stare. This wasn't a stare of hatred or wanting to fight. His stare gave me a sense of…sympathy.

I loosened my grip on his tank top, but I didn't let go. I couldn't see his eyes, thanks to the visor, but he looked…understanding. He looked as if he knows what happened earlier that night. He looked as if he knew why I exploded at him. He looked like he knew he touched a hard nerve.

My face might have told him everything he needed to know.

He'll say that it's nothing new

And swear this is true

For you,

I'll swallow the ocean

I let him go and stared at him for a few seconds.

He stared back, with that same sympathetic face.

I slowly walked back to my seat and sat down. I picked up my beer and took a sip, as if nothing happened. I didn't want to talk to him anymore. I didn't want him to know anything else, but chances are, he knew everything.

He stared at me while he fixed his tank top, with that same sympathetic look.

I just stared at a wall and prayed he would go away.

I'll swallow the ocean

He didn't go away.

In fact, he acted just like I was. As if nothing had happened. He took a seat across the table from me and took another sip of his beer, as did I.

I tried my hardest to ignore him, mostly for Kitty's sake. When I first came here, she made me swear that I would do everything in my power to make sure that I don't start, or even act on anything, with Scott. This was the first time I even got close to exploding for the 3 months that I've been here.

He didn't speak, even though I knew he wanted to. He's always been protective of his X-Men, especially Kitty from me. I'm sure he never saw anything like this coming. I glanced at him really quickly, then stared back into the wall, hoping he caught my hint that I didn't want him there.

"You feel weird?" Scott asked, even though it was more of a statement.

"Don't wanna talk," I spat at him.

He was silent for a few more seconds. He wants to help me. I could tell by his boy scout attitude. But I didn't want talk to anyone…especially him.

"I know you don't want to talk to anyone," he told me as he took on a more casual tone. "Especially me."

That was a little creepy.

"I know it's tough," he continued as he made himself more comfortable. He took a sip of his beer. "You're in love with the girl…but…"

Suddenly, he caught my intention. Kitty and I have been dating officially for 3 months, not to mention our on-again off-again status from before I moved in. But…love? Was I really in love with Kitty?

"Something about…" Scott trailed off for a bit. It actually sounded like he sympathized. "You know…doing it…it's just…"

He didn't know how to describe it. Just like me.

He said,

"Who truly belongs here?"

"Not I," she said.

"I'll lie here to you"

Scott didn't speak anymore. Like me, he didn't know how to describe the feeling I'm having. I've never been mixed with such pettiness and….love?

"Wait, wait," I said. He was about to speak again, but I cut him off. "Wait a minute…you and Jean…you…"

He smiled at me as I couldn't finish my question. Of course, he knew exactly what I was talked about. He chuckled a little before answering.

"Well," he began as he took a sip of beer. "She wouldn't want me talking about it…but…"

I laughed.

I would have never thought in a million years that Goody-two-shoes Scott "Cyclops" Summers would ever have sex before at least the age of 25. I know he's a normal kid like me…apart from the whole mutation thing, but for some reason, I would always hold him up, or down, as a goody-goody. No matter how much in love he was with Jean.

"Is it really that funny?" he asked me, though he was smiling.

"Well, yeah!" I admitted. "I mean, you're Cyclops, for Christ's sakes!" I took another sip of the beer as did he. "The fearless leader of the X-Men! The ideal role model for mutant kids everywhere!"

"You're making me sound like Jesus, or something," he spoke with another laugh.

"Well you are to these kids," I admitted. "Most of them, at least. Not to mention the professor." Suddenly, I just got a scary thought. "Holy shit, does Baldy know?"

He cringed when I called Xavier 'Baldy, but laughed at the thought. However, he seemed more nervous than anything else.

"God, I hope not," he admitted.

"Kinda hard to keep things from a psychic, isn't it?" I asked.

"Especially if your 'partner in crime' is a psychic, as well," Scott added.

I laughed.

"I know

The sorrow is sacred

And I'll never break you"

I'll softly save you"

We were silent for a few seconds. Although I'll think about it know, at that moment, we totally forgot how much we 'hated' each other. This isn't the first time we talked to each other without wanting to kill one another, but this was definitely the first time we actually had anything close to a friendly conversation.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked Scott, tossing hatred and humor aside, even if it was just for a second.

He raised an eyebrow, and I don't blame. I told him earlier that I don't want help from anyone in this place, but simply the fact that he knew what I was talking about, that feeling that I got when I woke up, gives he hope that he may help me out. No one has looked out for me since I left my parents…but I guess it was worth a shot.

"Sure," he said, just like I knew he would.

"That feeling you get…after you…you know," I began. He nodded. "You're not sure that what you did was right…in fact you kind of regret it…but at the same time…"

"You don't," he finished for me. He smiled and nodded as he took another sip of beer.

"Yeah," I agreed. "What is that? It's so…"

"Confusing," he finished again. I nodded. "I know exactly what you're talking about. It's called love."

"What?" I asked him immediately.

"Lance," he began as he took a more serious tone. It think that was the first time he ever called me by my first time. Usually he'd call me Alvers, Rock-tumbler, or some other earthquake-based pun. "I could tell you and Kitty did something serious tonight. It's written all over your face."

I put on a frown.

"And you know, as well as I do, how many times I warned you about that."

That was very true, especially when I moved in. In fact, if I remember correctly, his favorite line was, 'If you even try to something on Kitty, I'll make sure red is the last color you'll ever see'.

"But within the last 5 minutes," he continued. "Did you even wonder why I didn't blast your skull in?"

Fragments of joy torn apart

A freshly drained heart…

I didn't answer. I didn't even let him know I acknowledged the question.

"I'm not an idiot, Shake-down."

Shake-down…that's better.

"I know that you aren't violating Kitty. I know she likes you. Hell, she most likely even loves you."

I felt like I just swallowed my heart when he said that.

"I know you didn't rape her, push the matter, beg, or anything like that," he continued to speak as he took the last sip of his beer. I only had a sip or two left to go. "I'm not going to lie to you…I know she loves you. And the fact you had an ounce of regret, the fact that you thought you may have damaged her in anyway…that alone proves that you really love her."

…That beats

Disguise themselves through him

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. Normally, I'd just toss the thought out of my head, but that night was different. Something happened between Kitty and I…and I think it was more than just sex.

I know she's 17. I know I'm 19. I know we've only been actually going out for 3 months. I know we've fought. I know our sides were different. I know she's smart. I know I'm not the brightest kid. I know she's mostly lived a good life. I know my life hasn't exactly been a bowl of cherries. I know she's clean. I know I used to be a casual smoker, among other things.

I know all that, and I also know most people, especially adults, would call me crazy. But if Cyclops, of all people, could see that it was something more than just sex, than there's no reason to disagree with him.

I know this sounds stupid, corny, and everything false. But I can't help it. And when you fall in love, I'm pretty sure you won't either.

He'll say that it's nothing new

And swear this is true

"So you're in love," Scott concluded as I took my last sip of beer. I cringed as he made it sound so casual. "Welcome to the club."

"Yeah, happy to be here," I said extremely sarcastically.

"It get's better," Scott assured me. "That feeling you have right now. Think of it as a birth of the child. The first moments will hurt, but it will blossom into something worth the pain…and your life."

I didn't to care for the child analogy, considering what me and Kitty had just done. However, I'll admit, it makes more sense than anything else.

For you,

I'll swallow the ocean

Scott examined his empty bottle.

"What another one?" he asked pointing to my empty bottle.

I laughed a little bit. The fact that Scott drinks beer still didn't sit to easy for me, and I'm sure it doesn't for any of you as well.

"Sure," I told him.

He got up from my seat and took both the empty bottles. He threw them away and proceeded out of the room.

"Wait a minute," I called for him. He stopped and looked at me. "Xavier keeps beer here?"

Scott laughed.

"Nope," he informed me. "This is Logan's stash."

"Logan?" I asked, little out a little fear in my voice. "Drink Wolverine's beer!? Isn't that dangerous?"

"Very," Scott confirmed as he left the room to get a pair of bottles.

I'll swallow the ocean

That was the first of many times Scott and I took advice from each other.

(A/N: I've always liked the idea of Scott and Lance being friends. There like salt and pepper…total opposite, but in the right circumstances, they can be unbeatable. I wrote a few pages with Scott and Lance as friends in the insitute, but I haven't decided if I want to put them up. Anyways, This song is a B-Side, which means it didn't make the cut to be on AFI's newest album, "Decemberundergound". But the album is still great, as is the song. Thank you)