What do you want from me? SLASH GibbsTony

by needtoknow400

Friends, lovers, jealousy, regret, anger and fear where do you go from there?

Title: Where do we go from here? SLASH

Summary: Friends, lovers, friends, jealousy, regret, anger and fear where do you go from there?

Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated.

My mess, not edited.

Have a facebook page now if you wanna head over and check it out. Link is on my profile.

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Putting the planer down, Gibbs took a sip of the Bourbon pausing as the mug touched his lips and he heard the front door open. He shook his head and went over to the work bench and grabbed the other mug he now kept there. When Tony walked down the steps, Gibbs was already holding it out to him.

"Thanks." Tony smiled as he took it, sitting down on the sawhorse beside the work bench. Taking a long swig, he made a face as he swallowed. "Cheap stuff tonight."

Gibbs nodded, walking back to the boat, picking up the planer, and going back to work.

"Wow you got a lot done since I was last here." Tony said looking at the boat and seeing that the outside of the frame was now completely covered with wood.

There was no reply as Gibbs continued to work.

"Abby finished processing all the DNA. Six in total."

Again no reply as Gibbs pushed the planer over the wood.

"Did she call you?"

Finally a nod.

Tony took another swig of the Bourbon, this one going down easier than the first. "So are you not going to talk to me tonight?"

"Shouldn't you be at home-" A pause. "With Daniella?"

"She's working tonight."

Daniella was Tony's new girlfriend, one that Tony had actually kept around for more than a week, and one that everyone had met.

"Then you should be at home asleep." Gibbs said still focused on the boat.

Making his way over to Gibbs, Tony touched his back. "Jethro."

Gibbs paused and looked at Tony then the hand that was still touching his back.

Pulling his hand away, Tony looked at Gibbs. "I just needed to talk, rough day."

"Then talk." Gibbs went back to working.

"Thought maybe you would need to talk too." Tony sighed.

Gibbs glared over at Tony for a moment then back to the boat.

"Jethro can you at least look at me when I talk to you." Tony was now annoyed.

Gibbs threw down the planer with a loud thud and turned to Tony.

Tony's hand caressed Gibbs' cheek, his voice turning to a plea. "Jethro please."

The touch caused Gibbs to swallow the emotion that was lodged in his throat.

Leaning closer, Tony's lips brushed against Gibbs. It was soft, tender, but laced with desire. Involuntarily, Gibbs' arm encircled Tony's waist and jerked him closer deepening the kiss. The kiss was fire, fueled by Gibbs animalistic need for Tony.

Tony's hands wrapped around Gibbs' neck his fingers running through the hair on the back of his head pulling him harder, deeper into the kiss.

As Gibbs' hand slid down and squeezed Tony's ass, Tony moaned into the kiss, the sound suddenly bringing Gibbs to his senses. He grabbed Tony by the arms, and shoved him back.

"Tony." Gibbs shook his head. "Go home."

"Jethro." Tony reached out to touch Gibbs' chest but Gibbs grabbed his wrist before he could make contract. "I want you."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "You gave up the right to want me months ago."

"Please." Tony sighed breathlessly.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Gibbs fought to maintain his resolve. Hard, when Tony knew how to push every one of his buttons. He opened his eyes again, Tony's normally green eyes now black with desire.

"Go home Tony." Gibbs let go of his wrist and took a step back.

"I thought you said I was always welcome here." Tony reminded him.

"You are but not like this." Gibbs ran his hands down his face.

"And the last time I was here?" Tony asked.

"A mistake." Gibbs straightened his posture. "Won't happen again."

Tony nodded the sadness evident in his eyes.

"Is that why you came here?"

Tony glanced at the floor giving his answer without a word.

Gibbs chuckled and shook his head. "Do you enjoy hurting me?"

"Jethro I never wanted to-"

"Then stop this." Gibbs sighed. "Because last time it was like losing you all over again."

Tony felt the words like a punch in the stomach.

"You walked away from this, from us. So let it go." Gibbs took a deep breath. "Because I'm done."

"You know I love you." Tony voice was shaky.

Gibbs picked up the planer and went back to work. "Night Tony."

Tony went to leave, pausing a moment and kissing Gibbs' cheek before slowly disappearing up the stairs.

Waiting until he heard the front door close, Gibbs threw the planer across the room, it crashed against the wall breaking into pieces and falling to the floor. He ran his hands through his hair. For six months they had been happy, at least that's what Gibbs had thought. Tony was practically living here for five of those months. The relationship had been easy, their lives fitting together so perfectly. They were all passion and fire, making love as if it were the first time every time. But it wasn't all about sex; they could sit for hours in each other's arms just talking or in comfortable silence.

Then in that final month everything changed, changed when Gibbs wanted to tell their friends about the relationship, changed the minute the words crossed his lips and Tony's face went white. Tony adamantly said no, refusing to give an explanation as to why he wouldn't want to tell their friends they were in love and happy. It had led to their first huge argument. An argument that lead to a long night of make-up sex. After that Tony was distant, withdrawn, spending more and more nights back at his apartment. A few weeks later, it was over. Again, no real reason, just it wasn't working any more. For a few weeks Gibbs fought for their relationship, until Daniella came into the picture. Then Gibbs completely walked away.

He was angry and bitter for weeks, a bear to be around, but then after a weekend of Bourbon he let the booze drown away all the emotion. Gradually, Gibbs and Tony went back to the way they were before anything had happened between them. It was strained, especially the first time Tony showed up in the basement, but eventually Gibbs realized a friendship was better than nothing. Everything would have been fine, had it not been for that night a month ago.

Tony showed up after a hard case. A case that had left him bruised and beaten, he'd fallen into Gibbs' arms wanting comfort and then love. Gibbs wanted to stop it, but Tony's pleas and touch just made it all seem right again. He had hoped it meant that Tony wanted them back together. They made love countless times, Tony expressing his love and desire, but when it was over Tony was getting dressed to leave. He kissed Gibbs, said I love you, but I have to go. And Gibbs lost Tony all over again.

After that the anger was back but he buried it deep inside beside the love he still had for Tony, neither emotion seeing the light of day. Then tonight, it would have been so easy to give into Tony, to let it happen again, but he couldn't do that to himself or to Daniella. Gibbs had been cheated on and been the cheater, both were unpleasant experiences that he never wanted to have again. Everyone involved ends up getting hurt. Tony didn't love Daniella, Gibbs knew that, but they were still in a relationship.

Gibbs walked over and picked up the planer pieces. No fixing that he thought to himself as he tossed the pieces into the garbage and walked up stairs.

##########

The sharp ringing of the phone pulled Gibbs from sleep as he reached over and grabbed it, answering without even looking at who was calling.

"Gibbs." He sighed, sitting up in bed.

"Hey we still going to the party today?" The smiling male voice asked.

"Damn."

"Did you forget?" He chuckled.

"Yeah." Gibbs answered looking at the clock on the end table.

"It's up to you."

"No, I promised." Gibbs ran his hand over his face. Why the hell had he promised Abby he would go? That's right, to shut her up.

"Okay want me to pick you up or you coming here?"

"Pick me up."

"Be there around eleven thirty."

"Yeah." Gibbs said closing the phone. He needed a shower and a pot of coffee.

##########

"Thanks." Gibbs nodded sliding into the passenger seat of the car.

"No problem." The man looked over at Gibbs. "Rough night?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Ah, that's a yes." He chuckled as he backed the car out of the drive. "Let me guess Tony paid you a visit."

"Yeah." Gibbs sighed.

"Does he know you're bringing someone today?"

Gibbs glared at Dante.

"That would be a no." Dante chuckled. "Does everyone else know?"

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded. "Everyone is bringing someone."

"Want me to play it up, hang on your every word, and swoon over you." Dante grinned.

Gibbs rolled his eyes again.

"Come on I can play the love sick boyfriend very well."

"I didn't ask you to come to get back at Tony." Gibbs glanced over at Dante. "I asked you to come along as my friend."

Dante shook his head. "I think a little pay back is justified."

"Let it go." His phone rang and Gibbs pulled it from his pocket, he sighed and dropped his head back when he saw the caller id.

Dante chuckled, knowing by Gibbs reaction who was calling.

"Yeah." Gibbs said answering the call.

"Are you coming? Abby's all worried." Tony's voice filled Gibbs ear.

"Then why didn't she call?" Gibbs asked with more annoyance than he intended.

"You know Abby." Tony chuckled.

"On the way should be there in about ten minutes."

"More like five." Dante said knowing Tony would hear his voice.

There was silence.

"Be there in five." Gibbs said glaring at Dante then closing the phone.

"Oh come on you know he's curious now." Dante smirked.

##########

"Duck?" Gibbs called out as they walked into the house.

"In the kitchen." Ducky's voice rang out.

"Hey." Gibbs nodded as they walked into the kitchen.

"Jethro I'm surprised you came."

"Promised Abby."

"Ah yes, of course." Ducky smirked then looked at the other man.

"Ducky this is Dante."

"Pleasure to meet you." Ducky smiled extending a hand.

"The pleasures mine I've heard a lot about you." Dante smiled.

"All good?"

Dante laughed. "Of course. Jethro speaks very highly of you."

Ducky smiled.

"And I hope we have a chance to talk later."

Ducky's brow furrowed.

"Doctor to Doctor."

"You're a doctor?" Ducky looked surprised.

Dante nodded. "Plastic surgeon."

"Really? My patients are long past needing your serves."

Dante laughed again.

"Where's everyone?" Gibbs asked knowing if he didn't move this along the two of them would soon be deep in conversation.

"Out back." Ducky nodded.

Gibbs glanced at Dante and they headed towards the back door.

"GIBBS!" Abby screamed running at him as soon as he opened the door. She crushed him in a bear hug. "You came."

"Yeah." Gibbs hugged her back. "I promised."

Seeing the man behind him, Abby let go of Gibbs. She smirked. "Who's your friend?"

"Abby, Dante."

"Abby you are exactly what I pictured." Dante smiled extending his hand.

"Really?" Abby grinned.

"Yes. Jethro talks about his favorite forensic scientist constantly." Dante smirked.

"Ah that's sweet." Abby smiled, instantly charmed not only by the man's smile but his good looks. She leaned into Gibbs ear. "He's yummy."

"Abby." Gibbs glared at her. Everyone knew that Gibbs dated men on occasion, but Abby found it especially fascinating.

"What? He is." She smiled at Gibbs and looked back at Dante. "Come meet everyone."

"Sure. Lead the way." Dante extended his hand letting her lead them on. Walking behind Gibbs, Dante suddenly whispered in Gibbs ear. "I'm guessing Tony is the one with the green eyes, pretty boy giving me the dirty look."

Gibbs elbowed Dante in the stomach.

Dante coughed then laughed.

Leading Gibbs and Dante towards the group sitting around the outdoor table she stopped and smiled.

"Everyone this is Dante." She grinned raising her eyebrows at the group.

"Hi everyone."

"Um this is Tim, Sarah, Tim's sister." She started around the table doing introductions, Dante shaking hands as they went. "This is Ziva and her boyfriend Ray. Palmer and his fiancé Breena."

Dante smiled and shook hands.

"And this is Tony and his girlfriend Daniella."

"Tony." Dante smiled his best smile as they shook hands.

"Dante, Italian."

"Yes full blooded." Dante nodded.

Tony assessed the man. Late thirties or early forties, hauntingly deep sapphire blue eyes and thick well cut sable hair. He wore snug blue jeans that hugged every curve of his fit body, the rich dark blue t-shirt accenting his eyes. The arms of the short sleeve tee tight against his bulging arms. This had to be some bad dream the man was gorgeous.

"Sit please." Tony forced a smile.

Gibbs sat down next to Daniella unable to think of an inconspicuous way to change positions.

Dante sat down next to Gibbs, Abby next to Dante.

"Hey Jethro." Daniella smiled half hugging Gibbs.

"Daniella." Gibbs smiled. They had met before. She was a sweet girl. A young, beautiful brunette, exactly Tony's type.

"So what do you do Dante?" Tim asked.

"Plastic Surgeon." Dante answered.

"Rough profession." Tony grinned. "Looking at beautiful woman all day."

"Um, not really that kind of plastic surgeon." Dante glanced at Tony. "I do reconstructive surgery at Walter Reed."

"He's the head of the Reconstructive Surgery Unit."

Dante nudged Gibbs' shoulder. "Stop bragging."

"Not bragging, just stating facts."

Dante rolled his eyes. "Anyway. My patients are all military men and woman."

"That's awesome." Abby sighed. "I mean you're making a real difference in people's lives."

"I'm just part of a team that tries to help." Dante nodded. "Just like all of you."

Seriously! Tony groaned to himself. He probably saves puppies and kitties too.

"You want a drink?" Gibbs asked Dante.

"Sure whatever you have." Dante smiled.

Gibbs made his way back into the house.

"So how did you meet Gibbs?" Abby asked putting her elbow on the table and her head in her hand.

"At Walter Reed during one of your cases about a year ago." Dante smiled. "Did a double take."

Abby grinned. "He's hot."

"Yes he is." Dante smirked.

"Did you start dating then?" Ziva asked. "I mean we have not heard about you."

"No." Dante shook his head. "Jethro was seeing someone at the time."

Everyone looked surprised, Tony choked on the sip of beer he had just taken.

"You okay?" Daniella asked rubbing Tony's back.

"Yeah." Tony coughed. "I'm okay."

Dante glanced over at Tony.

Gibbs walked back out and handed the glass of Bourbon to Dante.

"Thanks."

Sitting back down, Gibbs saw everyone staring at him. "What?" He looked over at Dante. "What did you say?"

Dante laughed. "Nothing. Abby just asked how we met."

"Lunch is served." Ducky yelled from the back door.

Everyone got up heading into the kitchen.

##########

"That was amazing Ducky." Dante sighed.

"Thank you. I do try." Ducky smiled.

"Well I hope to return the favorite one day."

"You cook?" Daniella asked looked surprised.

"A little." Dante nodded.

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"What was that for?" Daniella asked looking over at Gibbs.

"He cooks." Gibbs chuckled.

Dante shrugged. "I know a few things."

"Can you show Tony?" Daniella grinned. "He can barely reheat left over's."

Dante chuckled.

##########

Abby had turned on some music and several people were dancing.

"You want another?" Dante asked seeing Gibbs empty glass.

"Yeah thanks." Gibbs nodded then turned back to the conversation with Ziva.

Ducky had sat the liquor on a table towards the back door and Dante made his way over to refill their glasses. He wasn't surprised when Tony walked up next to him.

"Bourbon neat."

Dante chuckled. "Yeah I know."

"You met at Walter Reed a year ago." Tony repeated Dante's explanation.

"Yeah, already told everyone that."

"And you asked Jethro out then?"

Dante filled the glasses then turned to Tony. "Yeah I did, but again he was seeing someone. He turned me down."

"And you know who he was seeing."

"I know he was seeing you." Dante stared at Tony. "And I was there for him as a friend, when you walked away."

Tony tightened his jaw, biting back the anger.

"Anything else you want to ask?"

"Were you two dating a month ago?"

"When you two slept together again?" Dante shook his head. "No. And I'm glad, he feels bad enough about that without adding more guilt to that night."

"Guilt?" Tony glared at Dante.

"Yes. Because of you being with Daniella at the time and for making the mistake of believing in you again."

Tony glared at Dante.

"Haven't you hurt him enough?" Dante sighed. "Why don't you just stay away? You have to know what it does to him every time you show up or call."

"Worried?" Tony smirked.

"About you and Jethro?" Dante chuckled. "Hardly."

"Maybe you should be." Tony's eyes narrowed.

Dante leaned towards Tony. "And maybe you should worry more about your girlfriend and less about the man you walked away from." Picking up the glasses Dante made his way back over to Gibbs.

If there hadn't been people around Tony would have picked up a bottle of booze and thrown it against the house.

##########

"I just wish I could get him to pick his clothes up off the floor." Daniella chuckled. "Every time I come over it's like his closet exploded all over the apartment."

"Maybe he needs a reward system." Gibbs let the statement escape his lips before thinking about it.

"Like what?" She asked.

Gibbs' eyebrow went up.

"Sex?" She laughed. "Don't think that would work."

It had for Gibbs.

"Won't work?" Gibbs asked casually.

"Nothing." Daniella shook her head and stared at her drink.

"Everything okay?"

She nodded and smiled, staring back down at the drink.

"Okay." Gibbs nodded taking a swig of his Bourbon.

"Can I ask you something?" She paused. "Without you telling Tony."

He nodded slowly.

"I know Tony hasn't had a lot of long term relationships but did he ever talk to you about the ones he did have?" She asked.

"No." Gibbs shook his head.

"Oh." She nodded. "I just wondered...I mean when we first started seeing each other it was amazing. You know."

"Daniella maybe I'm not the one you should be talking to." Gibbs cleared his throat.

"No you know him better than anyone." She sighed. "He just doesn't seem interest anymore."

"Tony?" Gibbs forced himself not to chuckle. Tony not interested in sex!

"Yeah." She shook her head. "Maybe it's me. But I mean he seems happy."

"I'm sure he's happy." Gibbs forced a smile. "He wouldn't be with you if he wasn't."

"Thanks."

"I, um, need another drink. You want-"

"No I'm good." She smiled.

Gibbs walked into the house, right past the liquor table and towards the bathroom. He shut the door behind him and started the water. He splashed the cold water over his face feeling it relief some of the warmth of his guilt. Taking a deep breath, he wiped off his face and stepped out of the bathroom almost running into Tony.

"Hey." It was the only word Gibbs could think of to speak.

"Dante's great."

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded.

"I'm glad you're happy." Tony forced the words from his mouth.

"Thanks." Gibbs nodded again and walked past Tony and out the back door.

"You ready." Gibbs asked coming up behind Dante as he danced with Abby.

"Um yeah if you are." Dante looked puzzled.

"I am."

"Okay."

They said their good-byes, leaving without seeing Tony.

###########

"I shouldn't have let him think we were dating." Gibbs said throwing his keys on the table as he walked into the house.

"Why?" Dante asked following Gibbs into the living room.

"Because we're not."

"So he doesn't know that and it does him some good being all pissed off." Dante folded his arms across his chest.

Gibbs ran his hands down his face.

"Jethro he obviously still loves you!"

"I know that." Gibbs sighed. "That's not the issue."

"Than what is?" Dante asked.

"Tony loving me has never been a problem. It's everything that goes along with loving me." Gibbs dropped down on the couch.

"Because he can't face being in a relationship with a man?"

"That's part of it." Gibbs shook his head.

"He asked me if I was worried about you and him." Dante paused. "He evidently thinks you'll want him again, no matter if he wants a relationship or not."

"I won't let that happen again." Gibbs shook his head. "No matter how much-"

Dante sighed and came over sitting down next to Gibbs.

"You going to be able to do that?"

"Yes." Gibbs stared at Dante with resolve in his eyes.

"Good because as your friend." Dante took a deep breath. "I don't want to have to keep seeing you go through this."

"I won't. Don't worry."

"If you need me." Dante pointed at Gibbs. "For anything call."

Gibbs nodded.

Dante patted Gibbs' leg as he got up to leave.

"Work on the boat, forget about it."

"Yeah." Gibbs chuckled. "I will."

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs got up grabbed the bottle of Bourbon from the top of the fridge and headed towards the basement.

#########

The coffee both warmed and calmed him, thankfully he had fallen asleep on the boat before he was able to drink much of the Bourbon. Still his neck was stiff and he wanted nothing more than a shower and to go back to the boat.

The sudden pounding at the door jarred him from his thoughts. No one ever knocked around here. Walking towards the door the pounding continued.

"I'm coming." Gibbs barked. Reaching the door he jerked it open and immediately felt the smack across the face.

"You fucking bastard."

Gibbs moved his jaw back and forth, not really surprised. It wasn't the first time he'd been slapped opening a door. He was surprised when he looked at the woman in front of him.

"You sat there next to me yesterday and played dumb." She yelled.

"Daniella what are you talking about?"

"You listened to me tell you how Tony wasn't interested in sex." She shook her head. "Told me it wasn't about me, that he was happy."

"He is happy."

"Is that why he was here getting fucked by you last month?" She shouted. "Because it's not about me?"

Gibbs swallowed hard.

"Yeah Tony told me." She let out an annoyed chuckle. "And you just let me blabber away. You're an asshole."

"Yeah I am." Gibbs answered.

"He's been in love with you this whole time." The tears spilled down her face.

"I'm sorry." Gibbs was surprised how easily the words came out.

"No you're not." She spat back. "If you were you wouldn't have done it and you wouldn't have pretended to understand."

Gibbs nodded.

"Was it just once?"

"Yes. I would never let it-" Gibbs stopped himself.

She shook her head. "Tony wanted it to happen again?"

Gibbs looked away from her.

"You don't have to worry anymore." She sighed. "He's all yours."

Turning around, she started down the steps pausing at the bottom. "I hope you're at least honest with Dante about this. Don't put anyone else through this crap."

Gibbs watched as she climbed into her car and drove away. He slammed the door shut and walked into the living room dropping down onto the couch. Why the hell had Tony even told her after all this time?

##########

The Bourbon had dulled the ache, he wasn't drunk but he wasn't feeling any pain either. He heard the car, heard the front door, and knew who it was without question. Gibbs knew he would show up, it was just a matter of time, and the anger was already screaming to be let free. Tony walked into the basement as he had a thousand times before. He leaned against the work bench, next to the sawhorse Gibbs was sitting on.

"I should tell you to just get the fuck out." Gibbs sighed. "But I think I want to hear this explanation."

"I couldn't lie to her anymore." Tony paused. "She knew something was wrong."

Gibbs nodded. "They usually do."

"And I couldn't lie to myself."

"You'll meet someone else." Gibbs took a sip of the Bourbon. "You always do."

"So that's how this is gonna go?" Tony chuckled.

Gibbs stared at his mug.

"I already met the one I want." Tony sighed looking over at Gibbs. "I want you."

"And this wouldn't have anything to do with Dante would it?" Gibbs asked staring at Tony.

"In a way."

"So would we be having this conversation if you didn't think I was screwing some other guy?"

"I don't know."

Gibbs chuckled. "I'm not dating Dante, never was. He's a friend."

"But he wants to be more?"

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded.

"He's gorgeous, intelligent, witty, and a doctor what more could anyone want."

There was no response.

"Yet you still don't want him? Why?" Tony asked staring at Gibbs.

Gibbs leaned back against the workbench across from Tony. "I don't love him."

"Do you still love me?" Tony was actually afraid to hear the answer.

"Yes." Gibbs sighed.

"But that's not enough is it?" Tony swallowed the lump in his throat.

"No it's not." Gibbs shook his head.

"I was jealous of Dante. Hated him the minute I saw him." Tony paused. "The only reason was because he was with you. The man I love."

"I told you we are not-"

"It doesn't matter that you're not dating." Tony shook his head. "The very idea that he wants you is enough. He wants what's mine and I know I have no right to feel that way, but I do."

"You're right; you have absolutely no right to feel that way." Gibbs spoke through gritted teeth, the storm of anger threatening.

"In my heart you're still mine."

"I'm not yours any more. YOU." Gibbs pointed at Tony his voice full of rage. "Walked away. YOU ended this, YOU did this!"

Tony nodded.

"So don't come in spouting off about jealousy and loving me." Gibbs was growling. "Because if you loved me you wouldn't have left without even giving me an explanation."

"I screwed up."

"You fucked up." Gibbs yelled. "And you have no idea what it did to me when you left."

"Yes I do." Tony stared at Gibbs his voice shaking. "Because it did the same to me."

Gibbs shook his head.

"I could barely breath for weeks, my whole body ached to be with you and nothing mattered, nothing." Tony was trying to hold back the tears. "Every day I wanted to tell you I was wrong, that I fucked up, that it was all about fear and that I loved you."

"Then why didn't you?" Gibbs snapped.

"Because I couldn't." The tears fell without his consent. "I was too scared."

"Of me?"

"No." Tony half chuckled. "Of what you wanted."

"All I wanted was you." Gibbs sighed, the anger having drained from his voice.

"But you wanted me to change my whole life." Tony sighed.

Gibbs shook his head. "It's fine to have a relationship with me that no one knows about, but not a relationship where you have to admit it."

"Stupid I know, but it wasn't about you, it was about me."

"Getting fucked by a man, whether anyone knows about it or not, means the same thing." Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Yeah I know."

"Love is love Tony, does matter if it's a man and woman, two men, two women." Gibbs sighed. "It's just love."

"I get that now." Tony forced a smile. "Believe me I do."

"Do you?" Gibbs asked not really believing it.

"Jethro I told Daniella everything. About our relationship, about that night, and that I still love you." Tony shook his head. "Doesn't that say something?"

"I'm not sure."

"What do I need to do?" Tony threw his hands up. "Shout it from the roof top, wear a sign across my forehead, what? Tell me and I'll do it!"

"What do you want from me Tony?"

"I want you." Tony went to Gibbs and grabbed his face with both hands. "I want us."

"And when the fear sets in again?" Gibbs paused. "When someone reacts negatively to our relationship? Then what? You leave again?"

"No." Tony shook his head. "I don't care what anyone thinks. I love you that's all that matters."

Gibbs grabbed Tony's wrists pulling his hands from his face.

"And how do I trust you again?" Gibbs sighed, still holding Tony's wrists.

"By letting me love you and rebuilding our relationship."

Gibbs let Tony go. "What if I don't want to take the risk again?"

Tony wet his lips, his mouth suddenly dry. "Then I have to live with that decision. And for the rest of my life I'll know I lost the one person I ever really loved."

There was no reply as Gibbs stared at the floor.

"I know you hate apologies, but I'm sorry." Tony sighed. "For everything."

Leaning over Tony placed a kiss on Gibbs' forehead. "I love you, don't forget that." Turning to walk away, Tony felt his arm grabbed and he was jerked hard against Gibbs.

Gibbs eyes fixed on Tony's.

"Jethro." Tony whispered.

Gibbs' lips brushed against Tony's ear. "I will never let you go again. Understood?"

Tony nodded the tears streaming down his face.

Pulling back, Tony captured Gibbs' lips consumed by the overwhelming relief and love that washed over him. Gibbs' arms encircled Tony drawing their bodies together as Tony's hands clutched at the back of his head. The kiss erasing the pain, the hurt and the sorrow they both had felt for months. Tony's forehead came to rest on Gibbs as the kiss ended.

"Please." Tony sighed, his fingers working to unbuckled Gibbs belt. "I need you, so much."

"Upstairs." Gibbs asked his hands clawing at Tony's back.

"No. Here." Tony smiled. "Like that first night we made love."

Gibbs smirked. "We made love throughout most of the house that night."

"But we started here." Tony grinned having opened Gibbs' jeans he shoved his hand inside.

"Tony." Gibbs groaned as Tony's hand wrapped around his cock.

"So hard." Tony licked his lips.

Knowing that look, Gibbs grabbed Tony and shoved him against the boat, pulling Tony's hand from his cock.

Tony put his hands above his head and Gibbs pulled his shirt off tossing it across the room. Then his hands were undoing Tony's pants, reaching in and grabbing Tony's cock.

"Oh fuck." Tony moaned as his arms went out and he clawed at the boat for stability.

"God I've missed stroking your cock." Gibbs growled before his lips sank to Tony's neck attacking the soft tender flesh.

"Jethro." Tony sighed as he struggled, trying to pull Gibbs' shirt off. Gibbs let go of Tony just long enough for his shirt to be removed then his hand was back on Tony's cock.

Tony clawed at Gibbs' back. "Please stop or I'll come."

"So."

"Not like this." Tony whimpered. "I want you."

"Fine." Gibbs released Tony, took his hips and spun him around pressing his stomach against the boat. He jerked down Tony's jeans then massaged his ass, pressing their bodies together. "Is this what you want?"

"Yes." Tony sighed.

"Stay." Gibbs ordered.

Tony felt the loss of Gibbs' touch for a brief moment, then felt an arm wrap gently around his waist, felt the slight weight of Gibbs' body against his.

"Do you know how sexy you are just standing here waiting for me to make love to you?"

"Jethro please." Tony begged as he heard the familiar sound then felt Gibbs slip a lubed finger inside him. "Oh God."

Gibbs felt Tony's body tremble.

"That's it open up for me." Gibbs growled as he slid another finger into Tony pressing deep and brushing against that perfect spot.

Tony shook again clawing at the boat as he fought to hold back the release.

"So tight, so hot, just begging for my cock." Gibbs whispered in Tony's ear. "Is that what you want, my cock buried inside you?"

"Yes." Tony stammered barely able to speak.

As Gibbs removed his fingers, Tony groaned at the loss. His need growing even more when he heard Gibbs rubbing the lube over his hard cock.

Gibbs' body blanketed Tony's and he placed his lips at Tony's ear. "I think that's enough playing nice."

Tony whimpered knowing exactly what that meant and knowing there was no way to prepare. Gibbs let the head of his cock breech the younger man then still for a few moments…then he slammed his cock deep inside Tony, feeling the younger man's whole body tense and the soundless cry that never made it from Tony's throat.

"That's what you like; my cock buried all the way inside you." Gibbs rocked his cock inside Tony.

Tony nodded still unable to form any words.

Pulling almost completely out, Gibbs again slammed hard into Tony.

Tony moaned his knuckles and fingers white from clawing at the boat.

Gibbs' hand encased Tony's cock and started stroking at the same time he started to pump in and out of Tony's ass.

Tony cried out, some sound between a groan and a whimper. "HARDER."

Again at Tony's ear Gibbs growled. "This is why you didn't want your girlfriend; you wanted my dick fucking you."

"Yes." Tony panted. "God yes."

"Wanted my hand wrapped around your cock?" Gibbs sighed.

"Yes. I wanted you." Tony licked his lips. "Only you."

Tightening his grasp on Tony's cock, Gibbs speed up as a loud moan tore from Tony's throat.

"This is all mine." Gibbs snarled as he stroked Tony's cock.

"Only yours."

"Remember that." Gibbs grunted as he thrust into Tony hitting the magic spot.

"JETHRO!" Tony screamed as he convulsed coming before he could even brace for it. His body started to crumble as all the strength left his body.

Gibbs' arm around Tony's waist tightened, keeping Tony upright. He pressed the younger man's upper body hard against the boat as he continued to lunge in and out of Tony's tight ass.

"So close." Gibbs groaned as he felt the release starting in the base of his spine. With one last thrust, he buried his cock in Tony and came howling Tony's name.

##########

Hours later they had showered and were lying in bed completely spent. Gibbs was on his back eyes closed when he felt Tony's hand caress up his chest.

Gibbs smirked. "Don't start something you can't finish."

Tony chuckled. "Who says I can't finish it?"

Opening his eyes, Gibbs looked at Tony.

"Hey I finished that just fine!" Tony smirked as he propped himself up on his elbow next to Gibbs.

"Yes you did." Gibbs grinned touching Tony's cheek.

Tony kissed the palm then shook his head flopping down onto his back.

"What?" Gibbs asked turning on his side looking down at Tony.

Reaching up, Tony pulled Gibbs down into a kiss. Not a kiss of passion, but of apology and love.

"I really will shout it from the roof tops." Tony sighed. "I'll tell everyone how much I love you and what an idiot I was."

"I know." Gibbs smiled.

"I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

Gibbs' eyebrow went up. "The rest of your life?"

Tony smiled and nodded.

"That sounds about right." Gibbs smirked as he captured Tony's lips devouring him until the need for air forced him to rip their lips apart.

"I'll never get enough of that." Tony sighed trying to catch his breath.

"Good."

"I need something to drink." Tony grinned. "Probably all those fluids I lost."

Gibbs laughed. "Yeah right."

"You want something?" Tony asked as he climbed out of bed.

"I'm good."

"Be right back."

As Tony made his way to the kitchen he heard a knock at the door. Really someone actually knocking? Hurrying back into the bedroom, Tony grabbed his jeans.

"What are you doing?" Gibbs asked puzzled.

"Someone's at the door."

Gibbs went to get out of bed.

"No." Tony shook his head. "I can get it."

"Be careful. Remember what happened when I answered the door earlier today."

Tony chuckled as he headed out of the room.

"Can I help you?" Tony smiled opening the door.

"Um, I'm not sure." Abby's eyebrow went up as she saw Tony standing there with no shirt and his pants not buttoned.

"Abby what are you doing here?" Tony asked glancing at her then back down the hall.

"Gibbs left this at Ducky's." Abby grinned. "I thought I'd drop it off."

"Thanks I'll make sure he gets it." Tony said grabbing the jacket.

"Where is he?" Abby asked with a smirk.

Tony opened his mouth about to make up something then stopped. He sighed. "He's in bed."

"Waiting for you?" Abby asked eyebrow raised.

"Yeah." Tony blew out a long breath.

"That is so sweet!" Abby threw her arms around his neck.

"Yeah sweet." Tony chuckled.

"I knew he wasn't dating Dante." Abby shook her head. "It just didn't fit."

"Um Abs, kinda busy." Tony gave her that look.

"Oh, Oh right." She nodded. "Sorry."

"Thanks." Tony smiled trying to close the door.

"Have fun." Abby grinned.

"Sure." Tony closed the door and leaned back against it. He shook his head and started laughing.

Walking back into the bedroom, Gibbs looked at Tony. "Who was it?"

"You know who it was." Tony rolled his eyes as he slipped off his jeans and crawled back into bed. "I know you could hear."

Gibbs smirked.

"She's going to be completely manic about this." Tony chuckled.

"Well, look at it this way." Gibbs smiled pulling Tony against him. "You won't have to yell it from the roof tops because Abby will do it for you."