Okay, I kind of wrote this one in a hurry. It's something that just randomly popped into my head last night and I couldn't seem to shake it, so I decided to write it down. I'm not sure that it's very good - like I said, it was written in a hurry and I wanted to get it posted before Christmas was completely over... And I never write Izzie stories, so that was kinda tough... Oh, and this is my first ever one-shot.. and for someone who likes to drag out stories and loves filler chapters more than any sane person should, it was pretty hard for me to limit it to one chapter. But, I did it.
Anyway, enjoy! And please review!!
Oh, and Merry Christmas!!
"Denny. Denny liked Christmas. I'm decorating for Denny."
Those were the only words anyone could pry out of Izzie Stevens for an entire weekend. Friday night she busied herself with hanging tinsel and adjusting stockings. She draped garland along the stairs and set up tiny little nativities and villages along the mantle. Saturday, she picked out a tree and then she decorated it from top to bottom, not letting a single square centimeter of prime tree real estate go to waste. She put up lights along the house and through the bushes and bought eight little plastic reindeer and a sleigh for the lawn.
And on Sunday, when there was nothing left to decorate, she baked. She made cookies of every kind – chocolate chip, macadamia nut, peanut butter, oatmeal raisin. She baked extra sugar cookies, citing that those were Denny's favorite. She made gingerbread men and gingerbread houses, decorating each one uniquely with different frostings and candies, all homemade, of course. She made cakes and pies, candy and fudge. She baked until she ran out of supplies and then continued as soon as she bought more.
And her friends let her because, once again this Christmas, Izzie was having a hard time. Each of them, in their own way, was supportive. Meredith untangled lights, George went with her to get the tree, Alex put the tree in its stand… Even Cristina picked up flour and sugar for her when she ran out. No one said anything about the fact that she barely spoke to them or about the fact that she was going ever-so-slightly overboard with the decorations. They were just supportive.
Until they couldn't be supportive anymore.
"Izzie, come on. No more cookies. I thought we were… I thought we had gotten past this part."
Meredith's patience finally broke the Monday before Christmas. After watching Izzie work like a madman all weekend, she decided enough was enough. She cleaned up the baking supplies and carried the boxes of extra decorations upstairs. And when Izzie came downstairs in the morning, George and Meredith had decided it was time for an intervention.
"No more, Iz. Enough is enough." George said with a sigh.
"Denny liked Christmas. I like Christmas." Izzie replied, avoiding eye contact by looking at the floor. Meredith shifted in her seat.
"We know. You like Christmas. We get it. But Iz, this isn't healthy. You can't keep going on like this."
"Nothing about this is unhealthy. I'm decorating. People decorate." She opened the blinds. "Look, the neighbors decorated. And no one is telling them that they are unhealthy."
George gestured to the plates of desserts. "This, this is… uh… this is what's unhealthy." Izzie shot him a look. "Look, I'm sorry, but…"
Izzie rolled her eyes and looked away. "Iz…. Seriously… we know you're sad…"
"I'm not sad. I'm fine. And I'm off again today, and I like to spend days that I'm off doing things that I enjoy. Like baking. So if you'll excuse me…" She walked over to the refrigerator and started taking out her baking supplies again.
George looked to Meredith with a shrug. He grabbed his keys, threw Meredith's coat to her, and the two left without another word.
"Cristina, it's getting ridiculous. She started baking again this morning as we were leaving. Cookies, cake – it's taking over our house…" Meredith whispered to her friend in the locker room.
Cristina's eyebrows raised. "Betty Crocker hasn't stopped yet? Wow… she's really losing it." She closed her locker and sat on the bench.
"What about Izzie?" Alex asked, walking around the lockers. He sat down beside Cristina and looked up at Meredith.
"The baking… it hasn't stopped. I even tried to put up all of her stuff, but… it didn't do any good." Meredith sighed and leaned against her locker.
"Seriously, guys. It's… its crazy." George added, joining the group.
Alex genuinely looked concerned. "I'm off at 12, I'll go check on her," he offered, standing up as Bailey walked in.
"Alright people, these patients can't round on themselves… let's go!" she barked as they all followed her out the door.
After work, Alex stopped by to check on Izzie as he had promised. As he opened the door, he found the house strangely silent. There were no sounds of timers, there was no music. It was quiet.
"Izzie?" He called out. He got no response. Frantically, he started searching the house.
When he finally found her, Izzie was curled up in a ball on her bed, sobbing. Alex quietly walked to the side of the bed that she was facing and sat down. She looked away. He ran his fingers through her hair. She pulled away.
"Iz? What's wrong?"
"I'm fine!" She yelled and rolled over.
"You're not fine. Tell me what's wrong." He touched her arm. She didn't pull away this time.
"I want it to stop hurting." She whispered, turning back to face him.
"What?" Alex asked, knowing fully what she was referring to.
"I should have been spending this Christmas with him. Why isn't he here? Why am I alone?" She cried.
"Iz," he soothed, touching his hand to her cheek. She sat up.
"Alex, I want it to not hurt anymore."
"The decorating and the baking – they don't make it stop hurting do they?"
Izzie shook her head. "No, but they make me feel at least a little bit like my old self. And I want to feel like my old self."
"But you're not your old self. Things have changed."
"I want to feel normal…" She sobbed.
"You're not supposed to feel normal. Not now. But that's okay. You'll be okay." Izzie leaned against him. "Shhh. You'll be okay," he assured her. "Come on, I have an idea…" He stood up and took her hand.
When Izzie got back later that night, she was surprised at what she found. Meredith and George were lying with their heads under the Christmas tree and the house was completely silent. She cleared her throat as she walked closer. She saw George move his eyes in her direction. No one spoke.
"What… what are you doing?" She finally asked after a few minutes.
"Lights." Meredith and George said simultaneously. Izzie nodded understandingly. George patted the empty floor beside him. Izzie laid down and scooted under the tree.
"Where have you been?" Meredith asked, not moving her head.
Izzie sighed. "Alex convinced me… he agreed with you… I agreed with you… I just… I just didn't want to admit it."
George and Meredith gave an understanding silence. Izzie continued after a minute. "We took the cookies to the heart center. They have 47 people there, hooked up to LVADs, waiting for donors. 47." Meredith and George looked over. "The rest of the desserts went to the children's hospital. Oh, and I sent a cake to Joe." They shifted their eyes back to the tree above them.
George yawned. "You know, the lights really are beautiful. All of the decorations look really good."
Izzie sat up and looked around. "Denny would be proud," was all she said. She laid back down with a sigh.
Meredith nodded. "Yeah, Iz, he would have thought they were great too."