How To: Be the Quarterback, a glee fanfic

A/N: Hello! This is the first installment in my "How To" series. It's a bunch of character studies(: I'll do just about any character, and they will all be in one shot or two shot form:) If you like this then please review:D And I can't decide whether or not I want them all in one story or just a bunch of one shots lol(:

Summary: installment one of the "How To" series. He's always been different. Finn's never wanted to be just the quarterback. AU at some parts canon at others

Dislcaimer: I do not own glee. Some parts may be slightly mature but not to bad.

"How To: Be the Quarterback."

Finn had always known who he was. The tallest kid in class, the dumbest kid in class, the clumsiest kid in class, etc. All those things had been used to describe him at some time or another. He knew he was more than that though. He prided himself on being kind to others and trying to have a big heart. He was also a drummer, and though he would never admit it out loud he was also a pretty good singer.

When he entered the ninth grade, he became a football player. And that was who he was. The football guy. He felt like a one dimensional shape(Or that's what he thinks he means? He wasn't really listening in math class.), like there's no depth to him. He's one sided, just the football guy. And for a while he's fine with that. Just being that guy. People look up to him. Everyone wants to be his friend, and he's popular. Doesn't get much better than that right?

Wrong. So fucking wrong.

The guys on the football team start wanting him to actually participate in bullying other kids. They tell him he'll be a loser if he doesn't, so he goes along with it. They place a slushie in his hands and he throws it at a poor unsuspecting girl, who has a hundred watt smile that warms his heart. He tosses it right in her face, and she cries. Finn's pretty sure that was the first time he'd ever made a girl cry. He feels like a douche bag. She didn't do anything to him, so why does she deserve to get bullied? The answer?

She doesn't. Though all the guys in the background are smiling and laughing. Calling her names like Hobbit and Wannabee Barbra. He doesn't really understand the second name, but he's pretty sure it's bad, because before she was just crying, but now she was bawling and running off towards the women's bathroom.

He decides that later he will find that girl and apologize. If he remembers. Or if the guys aren't around.

A couple months later, Finn's done just about everything those guys want him to do. He's slushied more people than he can count (he really feels guilty about it. He just wants to fit in okay?) And he's watched his friends throw people in dumpsters. He's even helped a couple of times though he doesn't like to admit it. Once, he even went with his friends to egg that girls house. The one with the amazing smile. What was it they called her? Barbra? So he thinks her name is Barbra.

And there's something about Barbra that drives him crazy every time he does something mean or rude to her. He's actually apologized and for some reason every time he does, she gives him that same huge smile and looks up at him hopefully with those big brown eyes. She says a thank you and walks away.

At one point, they are hassling this one kid. Kurt? He's pretty sure it's Kurt. Though he's never really been good with names. And the kid is dressed so well, and Finn feels bad for him. He looks like his close are expensive and that he prides himself on his fashion sense (Finn can't believe he thought the words fashion sense. Damn. What's wrong with him?), so he offers to hold the guys jacket. Which he does, then the throw him in the dumpster.

It starts turning into and every time occurrence. Like every time they throw Kurt in the dumpster, Finn always holds his and jacket.

That redeems him right? Since he does something nice for Kurt, he's not such a bad person? He sure hopes so. He hates being this guy. The one that's only respected because people are scared of him.

It's the last week of freshman year when Quinn Fabray tells him they should date. That it would be good for their reputations. Quinn is like super hot so he agrees. He's pretty excited to be dating a cheerleader because he's pretty sure he's going to get laid, and that's the only thing that's supposed to be important. (Or that's what Puck told him at least.) And all the cheerleaders are supposedly easy.

So yeah. Quinn is awesome. She's blonde. Has pretty green eyes and a slamming body. Like seriously the best body he's ever seen. He's pretty sure he's in love.

When they start making out it's awesome. She's on top of him and he's getting excited. A little too excited. But he doesn't know what to do to get cooled down, so he pushes her away and smiles sheepishly. She looks way to happy. "This is great," She starts and he's worried, "We both don't want to go to far and are saving our virginity for marriage. Let's pray." Quinn smiles and places her hands together and starts praying. He groans.

Man he's screwed.

He's had a really shitty day. And he doesn't want to talk to anyone, it's the middle of the summer, and he's hot and football day camp for the upcoming football team sucked. He didn't even really want to go this morning because he felt sick and he was too tired for six am, but he went anyways. Only because his mom forced him scolding him about how he had a duty to his teammates and that if he really wants to be the quarterback he has to work hard for it.

Yeah, whatever.

No one else could be the quarterback. Their whole football team seriously sucks. He's the only one that is semi decent and that's why he gets to be the quarterback. Other guys are jealous and that's why they give him crap. Which they had been doing all day. Like Karofsky with his, Nice throw Frankenteen. I'm pretty sure my Grandma plays better than that and Jesus Finessa get out there and fucking play this is no place for wimps. So all in all he was pretty pissed off. That's why when Quinn texted and said she wanted to hang out he had to say no. There was no way he was going to go see his girlfriend in this kind of mood.

She told him that it was fine and she'd just have a different friend over. He honestly didn't care and really just wanted to sleep. Which he did, like a baby. And in the morning he texted Quinn she didn't respond all day and he was pretty sure he was in deep crap until she texted him an I'm sorry and that'd she'd been sleeping all day.

That got him pretty worried.

Couple of days later, they are in her hot tub making out when it happens for the first time in front of her. He has an early release. And he's so embarrassed. Quinn yells at him and tells him to control himself. Like he can help it! He even tried this new thing he thought of. Where he thinks of the mailman. Weird right?

He only does it because he was driving with his mom about a week ago, when they (he) accidently hit a mailman. It worked the first time they made out, but not this time obviously. Quickly they are getting out of they water and she sneers out and tells him to go clean up and that he's a moron. Doesn't she get it was an accident?

Sometimes he hates dating her.

Finn honestly doesn't even understand what's going on. It's the beginning of his sophomore year and one minute he was in class learning some sort of math trick that he wasn't even really paying attention to and the next he was being called into Mr. Shuesters office and he was lecturing him about morals and inappropriate behavior. He honestly no idea what he was talking about until he pulled out the tiny bag of Chronic Lady and said he found it in his locker during a random locker check.

Finn didn't even know they did random locker checks. He tries to explain that it isn't his but Mr. Shuester just stops him and tells him what he has to do in order for him to not tell his mother. He really didn't want his mother knowing so he reluctantly agrees to what the teacher wants.

Glee Club. It's official he's one of the school freaks.

Her voice is amazing.

He's never heard a voice that was so beautiful before in his life. Barbra...er Rachel Berry...he found out her name was Rachel Berry...is the most talented person he's ever met in his life. And she's sneaky hot. He sort of wonders to himself if this girl knows she's hot. She's like super crazy and driven, but once again he finds himself drawn to her.

It scares Finn how much he likes her crazy. Though, he'd never tell and he's going to pretend he thinks she's annoying, because he's popular. And popular guys don't hang around glee clubs ever.

Even if they make you feel special.

"Your cool. What you said in Celibacy club was really cool."

Finn's pretty sure that the word cool should not have been used so many times in one sentence. Rachel is smiling at him as they sit on the picnic blanket she set our for them for after she helped him with his singing. Honestly? He didn't really need help with his singing he just wanted to be close to her and to spend time with her. And by the looks of things he's pretty sure she knew.

Finn starts to talk about how she's touched something in his heart. She giggles. "Your hearts on the other side of your chest." Rachel informs him as she moves his hand. He starts to feel intimidated. He thinks she's just so smart and he's so dumb why would she ever like him?

They clink their glasses together as they drink their virgin cosmos and he honestly just thinks she's so cute. Everything about her he likes. Even though she scares him a little bit and he checks under his bed to make sure she's not there when he goes to bed. For real. He even made his mom check one time even though she gave him a strange look at the time she still did it.

He gulps. "You've got a little Cosmo." Finn tells her as he leans in and wipes it off her lips. He's so nervous and he doesn't even know why. It's Rachel, It's just Rachel man the hell up and make a move. But he doesn't have to.

"You can kiss me if you want to." She looks at him nervously with her dark brown eyes and he knows that this is it. This is his chance so her takes it.

"I want to." Finn answers back and before he knows what's going on he's got her lying on her back with him hovering over her. He kisses her once and it's the most amazing feeling. There's something there, between them like a special connection. His whole body feels like it's on fire as he leans back down and captures her lips in another kiss.

This time his body gets the best of him and he can't stop himself from getting to excited. So he does what he thinks he has to and gets up to leave. She's looking at him sadly. "Did I do something wrong?" Rachel asks and he feels bad.

"No. Just don't tell anyone about this...please." Then he's running away. Finn feels like a jack ass when he hears her crying as he leaves. He feels like an even bigger jack ass when he realizes he has very strong feelings for someone who isn't his girlfriend.

Pregnant. Father. Hot Tub. Shit.

The string of words keep playing in his head and he doesn't know what to do. He's really fucked up this time and he knows his mom is going to be so disappointed. Quinn's crying and he feels terrible so he slowly brings her closer to him and feels himself fighting off the urge to cry a little bit as well.

"I'm sorry." Quinn cries into his shirt. He's pretty sure that's the first time she's ever apologized to him. There's something wrong with it though. It's not a normal apology. It's laced with something. Fear? Guilt? He thinks it's guilt, but he doesn't understand why she feels guilty, this is just as much his fault as it is hers.

Finn kisses her head softly and sighs. "No I'm sorry. Quinn. So sorry." He just keeps repeating it into his hair because it's true for so many reasons. He's sorry that he did this to her, he's sorry he cheated on, but most of all he's sorry because even though she just told him this he still can't stop thinking about Rachel and how she's going to feel when she finds out. Will she be angry? He hopes not he really needs her as a friend. Especially now. Though he'd never tell Quinn that, ever.

He's strong. He'll man up and be there for Quinn and his baby.

"Finn! Would you stop being such an idiot all the time! Drizzle? You want to name our baby drizzle? How stupid are you?" Quinn's voice is laced with venom and honestly, he doesn't know. How stupid is he?

He can't believe he's cheating again. Bowling. He's going on a date with Rachel even though he's dating Quinn. Finn thinks maybe Quinn would understand that he's only doing this so he can get into a good college and support her and his kid, but he knows she'd still freak out, so he just tries to forget about her for the time being he just thinks about Rachel and how much he likes her.

Oh yeah he really likes her.

She's a terrible bowler but he thinks it's cute that she tries. And he thinks it's adorable the way her face scrunches up in anger and frustration every time the ball goes in the gutter. When the game is almost over she finally gets a strike and she honestly couldn't be more excited. They hug. And then they kiss. It's passionate and full of longing. And he wants this. More than he's ever wanted anything else he thinks.

"Come back to glee."

"I'll do it."

This probably wasn't the right way to get her to come back, but at least she's doing it. She's coming back even though it's only because he manipulated her. Finn actually feels really bad. But he's just so confused.

Can you like more than one girl?

"You're a liar." Rachel spits out.

Yeah. He is. And he's not sure what stings more. Her slap or her words. He probably should've told her Quinn was pregnant before he took her out. But he didn't. And that makes her exactly right. He's a liar. A no good rotten liar.

Quinn yells at him all the time. That's all she ever seems to do. Finn gets it alright? He's a moron, an idiot, and he's stupid. But does she need to tell him all the time? No. He's just as stressed as she is.

Okay. Maybe not just as stressed but still. She's not in this alone and he's really trying to be there for her. She just makes it so damn difficult. And doctors bills are expensive. He really wishes they never would've made out in that stupid hot tub.

Worst. Mistake. Of. His. Life.

"Man up and get a job! I need a man Finn. One that can support me."

"Are you singing to a sonogram?" Carole asks Finn. He tries to hide it at first, but she knows. And he knows she knows. There's no point in hiding it.

"Is Quinn pregnant?" She asks. And that's when he breaks. He's apologized so many times and this time he's apologizing to the one person he never wanted to disappoint. None of this was ever supposed to happen not in high school. He's crying into his mom's shoulder just needing support. The kind of support only a mother can give. She's petting his hair and kissing his face and she just tries to look on the positive side.

Though she's finding it difficult to do so.

"Your so stupid. I don't know how you can even get yourself dressed in the morning Finn. Don't you do anything right?"

"You got me pregnant now be a man. Quit acting like a little boy. I need support. Our daughter needs support. We can't have support. If the boy supporting us is an idiot."

"Do you not love me? Is that why you act so stupid? Is this my fault. No really Finn. I have to ask is it my fault your so stupid?"

"Hah. You're an idiot. Like seriously. I've never heard anything that dumb in my entire life Finn. It's really sad."

So many insults. He's starting to believe what Quinn says. He is dumb. He knows it. And she's right. He can't do anything right. Finn wishes he could be smarter like Rachel. She's the smartest person he knows. Maybe if he was smarter like she is,Quinn wouldn't be so hard on him all the time.

Quinn invites Finn over to eat dinner with her and her parents and that's when he decides he thinks it's time they knew. So he decides to sing to her. Which he does. It's beautiful. His voice sounds good hitting the notes, but all the Fabray's are angry and Russell looks like he's about to get out a shot gun and kill him.

Russell makes everyone go into the living room so they can talk. "When you were just a little girl, I took you and your sister to a baseball game..." He continued the story and Finn tuned out he couldn't believe what was going on. How could he have screwed things up so badly for her.

"Why because I'm not a little girl anymore? Because I made a mistake?" Quinn asks her dad as she cries. He's not sure how much of the conversation he missed, but he starts to really wish he had listened. Quinn's dad just looks so angry and he just feels so bad.

And he's sorry. He's just so sorry.

He's laying on the couch when he hears someone walking into the living room. Finn hopes it's not his mom. He really doesn't want to talk to her. He already said thank you. And that he's sorry didn't he? Finn's really grateful his mom let Quinn stay at there house because she got kicked out, but he doesn't want to talk about it right now. "Finn?" A soft voice calls out to him. It's Quinn he knows it. He rolls over and smiles at her.

"I'm up baby what's wrong?" Finn asks sadly. He feels sorry for her. For them.

"Do not call me baby. I just wanted to come out here and tell you how stupid I think you are for getting me kicked out of my house." Quinn's voice is venomous and he just nods. He's stupid. He's sorry. Goodnight. That's how the conversation ends.

What he thought was going to be a sweet conversation turned out like all of the rest of there conversations.

The baby isn't his. He's not going to be a dad. He was never going to be a dad. Everyone lied to him. Including Quinn. They are all liars. Well, except for Rachel. But he should've known she wouldn't lie to him. She's the only true friend he has. Even Puck. His best friend lied to him. Puck helped his fucking girlfriend cheat on him.

Quinn was so right it's not even funny. He's a dumbass. He's going to be a Lima Loser. You can't be anything unless your smart. And he obviously isn't smart. Well the only smart thing he did do was quit glee.

He just can't do it anymore.

Finn really isn't sure what brought him to her door at midnight. But he's there. Standing in front of Rachel Berry's house. He throws a couple of rocks at her window until he see's a light come on. Then she's standing at her window opening it looking all around to see who woke her up. "Finn?" She whispers loud enough for him to hear.

He starts to think this was a really bad idea, but doesn't turn around and leave. He waits to see what she does. "Yeah Rach. It's me." He answers her. Finn waits for her to call him stupid and tell him to leave but she doesn't. She looks at him for a couple fo seconds before she sighs.

"Go to the door Finn. But be quiet, my dads are asleep." Rachel tells him and he honestly can't believe she's letting him in. He should've known she would though. She's his friend and he needs her so much. He just needs a shoulder to cry on. Someone to listen to him.

He waits by the door until she opens it. She greets him in a cute pair of pink shorts and a tank top that says "star." Finn laughs a little bit at how tiredshe looks. Then feels bad that he woke her up. He just hopes she isn't mad.

Rachel grabs his hand and leads him upstairs they enter her room and she sits on her bed. "Are you alright?" She asks. That's when he knows. She isn't mad. Not at all. She's worried about him, because she cares.

"No." Finn answers before he can stop himself. She pats the spot next to her and motions for him to take a seat. He does and she pats his knee.

"Talk." It's just one word, but it means everything to him. Because Rachel Berry who is usually loud and talkative is silent. Not saying much for him. So he can tell her what's on his mind. That's when he realizes he's lucky. He doesn't deserve her...at all.

He sighs. "It isn't fair. At all. That baby was supposed to be mine. Quinn's a liar. Why would she use me like that. I'm such an idiot. No wonder it was easy for her to lie to me, I'm stupid." Tears slip down his cheeks and he's embarrassed. Rachel holds him close in a warm embrace he never wants to leave.

"You Finn Hudson are most certainly not stupid. Sometimes people use us and there is nothing we can do about it. It doesn't make you stupid. It just makes you...trusting." Rachel places a kiss on his forehead, and he can tell it's not because she's trying to make a pass at him, it's because she's trying to comfort him.

Finn looks into her eyes as he speaks. "I'm not coming back to glee." He tells her. She nods in understanding before pulling up her blankets and laying down in her bed. She scoots all the way to the edge leaving room.

"You leave by five a.m. If my dads find out you are here we are both in big trouble and I truly do not feel that you want that." She smiles at him as she lays down. Tugging off his shirt he lays next to her and sets his phone alarm for five just before falling into a deep sleep. Probably the best sleep he's had in months.

"Sometimes being special sucks."

He knows it's true. Mr. Shuester is right. That's why Finn's on his way to sectionals in a car that doesn't belong to him. Ready to sing his heart out next to two of the people that ripped it out in the first place. Though he tries not to think about them. Just Rachel. He's doing this for Rachel. And that's how he gets through it.

Because she's important. He'd do just about anything for her.

Finn's so confused. He just doesn't understand what's going on. Apparently he has a girlfriend? When did Rachel become his girlfriend. He really doesn't know. So he'll just let her think what she wants. If she wants to be his girlfriend, cool why not.

Though, he probably shouldn't be in a relationship right now. He's just still way too messed up.

Inner rock star? It's freaking perfect. Mr. Shuester has never given him better advice. It's the perfect out he needs. Finn breaks up with Rachel and she's crushed. And he knows she is, but it's for the best he just needs to be Finn for a while. Date a bunch of girls, and be the man.

So he decides to go out with Santana and Brittany. It's an interesting date that's for sure. Basically the whole time they ignore him. And one time, they basically make fun of him while he is sitting right there! Who does that?

So the date is a bust, and they even make him go wait in his care while they use his credit card to pay for their meals, which end up being fucking expensive. He just can't believe how terrible the whole thing went. It was supposed to take his mind off of Rachel, but if anything it made him think about her way more.

It's in the car alone that he decides he wants her back.

Rachel's got a boyfriend who isn't him. And he's angry because he was too stupid to hold onto her when he got the chance. What was he thinking breaking up with her? She was the only person who truly understood him and he had to go and royally fuck it up. Of course. Isn't that what he always does.

He misses her. Finn wants her back more than anything he feels lost without her and he hates it. He even hangs up that cat calender she got him in his locker. Even though she says no to his offer to be a real couple, he keeps the calender hung up.

Just in case she changes her mind.

"Finn...Finn...I love you...Finn...wake up! Wake up! Come see me! I want you! Not Jesse! Just you!" Rachel calls to Finn from far away. She's waving to him and smiling shyly wearing only his football jersey. He's pretty sure he's never been more turned on in his life. He tries to run to her but his legs don't work. He looks down for just a second to see what's going on. When he finally does look up Rachel's kissing Jesse and telling him he lost his chance.

He wakes with a start. He doesn't know how many times he's had this dream. But he's done having it. He needs to do something big. He's not sure what yet but one way or another he's going to get her attention.

Finn has to.

"Faster Frankenteen. What are you afraid you're going to blow your load to quickly?" Santana sneers at him as he lies on top of her losing his virginity to her even though he really should be with someone else (Rachel).

He starts to think about Rachel. Her eyes. Her smile. The way she bites her lip when she's nervous or embarrassed. The skirts she wear that drive him wild. Finn really can't take it anymore and once again his little early release problem happens and he's super embarrassed. What's more embarrassing is what slips out of his mouth as he tumbles over the edge.

"Rachel." Finn can't believe what he's just said. He is fully prepared for Santana to be a total bitch and make fun of him. But she doesn't she sighs and rolls away from him. She won't even look at him. He thinks he hurt her feelings before he hears her laughing.

Slowly she turns and smiles lightly. "It's alright. I know it's not me you should've been here with, and it's okay. If it helps. I wasn't thinking about you either. And don't worry I won't tell treasure trail about this." Santana tells him. At first they are both smiling and he can't believe how uncharacteristically nice she's being.

"Unless one of you two piss me off. Then so help me god Finnegan, she will know within two seconds. So watch your back. And watch her mouth." And she's back to the bitch that he's always known she was.

Rachel's face is hard to read as the music to his song choice starts. She looks like she knows the song but she's unsure whether she's right about what it is.

"Jesse is a friend. Yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine."

She isn't smiling at all she looks worried or frightened. He's not sure what he'd call it. But he's scared. What if she hates it? More importantly what if she hates him for singing to her. That would be terrible. He wants her to know exactly how he feels and he thinks this song definitely shows how he feels. He doesn't think he's ever wanted anymore more than he wants Jesse's girl.

When the songs over she smiles at him. A quick smile. But he doesn't care if it was only there for a second because it was still there and that is the best things he's seen in a while.

So his mom had been dating Burt, Kurt's dad for a while. And he didn't really like it. He thinks that's why he has a sour attitude towards everything in the room. He doesn't mean what he says honestly. The room really isn't faggy. It's just not his taste.

He's sorry. So sorry.

They egged her. Those stupid douches. Finn is going to make Jesse pay no matter what. One of these days Jesse is going to feel his wrath. Revenge will be sweet that's for sure. He will even recruit Puck to help. That's how pissed off he is.

Finn hears a knocking on his window and at first he's confused. Slowly he gets up, afraid it's a robber trying to find the perfect way to get in and kill his family. He makes his way to the window holding the baseball bat that lays next to his bed. He peers out and see's Rachel standing there in shorts, slippers, and a whit camisole. Her hair curly and falling all around her face. Her eyes are red and puffy from all the crying she's been doing.

Finn opens the window quickly and smiles. "What are you doing here you little rebel. I'm pretty sure your curfew is midnight. It's about three hours past that." He laughs. And even though he's tired he doesn't care because it's Rachel, and if he needs him then he's not going to turn her away.

"Hi. Can I come in. I know it's late. And I'm very sorry that I have disturbed your sleeping habits. It's just that. When you needed someone you came to my house. I let you in no questions asked. I just figured maybe you could return the favor and let me inside to spill my guts to you while you sit tiredly on your bed probably not listening at all thinking how stupid I am fo-" She's rambling. So he cuts her off.

"Rach. Of course you can come in." Finn's smiling brightly as he opens the window wider for her. He holds out his hand and she gladly take sit. He helps get her through the window and into his bedroom, and honestly it's a little weird. This is the first time she's ever been in his room, and of course he's be wearing his Spongebob boxers. How embarrassing is that?

He takes a sit on his bed, and she awkwardly sits next to him, basically as far away as she can without not actually sitting on the bed. "You can talk Rachel. Isn't that why you came here?" He asks. She sighs and looks at him. He wants nothing more than to punch St. Douche Bag in the face for making her feel this bad.

"Honestly? I didn't really come here to talk. I just needed to be close to you. And to apologize. Say I'm sorry for everything that's happened between us the past couple of months. Truly Finn I know you've always been jealous of Jesse, but obviously there is no need to be jealous of him anymore, for we have broken up because of how he and his teammates bombarded me with eggs." Rachel says quietly. Her eyes welling up with tears. He wants nothing more than too put his arms around her and hold her close, but he thinks it might be a little inappropriate and that she might get mad.

Finn sits quietly for a minute processing what she's said. "Are you going to be okay?" He wonders softly. She nods and smiles hugging him lightly for while he'd been quiet she's scooted closer to him.

"I am actually going to be quite alright. Jesse was a just a means to and end." Rachel tells him. It's really too early for him to actually understand what she's talking about. But he nods and smiles along with her anyways because she's happy. Finally smiling and not moping around anymore because that jerk broke her heart.

"You can stay the night if you want to." he gulps. He really isn't sure why he's nervous. It's just Rachel. And he loves her. Oh my goodness...he loves her. He feels like he's just been hit with a hundred bricks. The realization warms his heart as he stares at her face that's glowing from the soft light of the moon pouring in through his window.

"Thank you, Finn."

They kiss.

She kisses him on the stares! Finn couldn't be more excited. One minute he's lecturing her about how the team needs her and how he needs her, and the next thing he knows she's placing a soft kiss too his lips. One he's wanted for so long. He never wants it to end but eventually she pulls away. He doesn't care though.

Because they kissed!

"Break a leg." Rachel's smile sets something inside of him on fire. He isn't sure where his courage is coming from but it's in there. He knows exactly what he's going to say too her he just doesn't know if now is the right time to say what he's feeling.

"I love you." Apparently it is. Because he can't stop himself from saying it. The look on her face makes him so glad he did say it. He would've liked for her to say it back. But that's alright. He'll wait for her. When the right time comes she'll say it back and they will be happier than they've ever been he knows it.

As Finn's sitting at the hospital thinking about the years past events, he can't believe how much everything has changed and how everything seems to be going so fast right now. One minute the whole glee club was on a high from how awesome they had just performed and next thing they all know Quinn is in labor.

He can't believe it. This little girl was supposed to be his. But now she's not. She's Pucks. Part of him wonders what's going to happen to little Beth. That's what Puck named her. Beth. They even sang a song for the little girl. Even though he didn't want to, Finn sang too.

Finn wonders who will adopt her. If Quinn and Puck already have a couple ready to take their baby that way they can just forget about this whole year. He knows that's what Quinn wants to do. He over heard her crying about it to Mr. Shuester one time.

"She's beautiful." Puck breathes as he walks out the doors of the Labor and Delivery wing. Everyone is smiling except for Puck who is frowning. Finn feels sorry for him. Just because, he obviously knows how it feels to lose someone you love. He loved that little girl too. And no matter what. Beth will always be part his. No matter what anyone says.

He wishes Rachel was here with him to hold his hand. He needs her.

The lost regionals. Meaning glee club is cancelled over. No more. The best part of his school day was going to be gone. He was crushed. The whole club was. That's why Rachel decided it was a good idea to do something special fro Mr. Shuester. I mean come on, he deserved something special. The guy had held this club together. He'd helped them through there worst moments, and praised them through their finest.

Rachel's idea was pretty good too. They would sing a song to him called "To Sir With Love." But before that, they all would say something the club had changed for them. Finn was having a lot of trouble coming up with his idea. He really needed help so he was going to ask Mr. Shue or Rachel.

Though by just that thought, he realized he knew exactly what he was going to say. No help needed.

"So we have something we need to say to you." Rachel starts. The club is seated on stools in a semi circle around the stage. Most people are crying already, but others are trying to hold it together. That's what he's doing. Trying his hardest to be a damn baby.

"In the beginning of this year, I was just another football player." Matt states. Finn's surprised they got him too say anything, because he's usually the quiet one who has nothing to say. Though Finn figures this was important enough for him to break out of his shell a little bit.

"I had a stutter." Tina smiles. Everyone laughs a little bit at the thought. Even Finn. He remembers the shy girl she was in the beginning. He can't believe how much she's evolved (Rachel taught him that word) since the club began.

"I was a closeted diva." Mercedes says. He doesn't even remember ever seeing Mercedes before this club. Finn figures that must be what she means. That her talents were hidden by no one talking to her or even noticing her.

"I used to be captain of the cheerios." Quinn's crying as she speaks. It takes everything he has not to cry too. Just because everything with Quinn still hurts. Sometimes just hearing her voice makes him feel pain.

"I was afraid to dance outside of my room." Mike announces sadly. Finn thinks it's a shame the dude never showed his dancing skills before this club. 'Cus the dudes really freaking good. And Finn's sorry if he ever made make feel like he had too hide his talents.

"I hated everyone in this club." Santana laughs through tears. Finn just rolls his eyes. Doesn't she still hate everyone in this club?

"So did I." Brittany agree's.

"I wasn't honest about who I was." Kurt smiles sadly. Finn is happy for him really. He's glad that he's finally okay with who he is. He thinks everyone deserves to be comfortable with who they are. Even if they are different.

"I was tossing kids in dumpsters." Puck says as he gives an apologetic look to Kurt, who just nods in understanding and smiles at him too. Finn's a little bitter still, so he thinks about how Puck forgot to mention stealing girlfriends in his.

"I had never kissed a girl before." Artie's face is bright red as he smiles over at Tina who just giggles. He thinks they are such a sweet couple and he loves that Artie is happy. The guy deserves to be happy.

"I was being slushied." Rachel's smile is sad and Finn feels terrible for ever doing that to her. She never deserved it. He loves her. He wished old stupid Finn would've realized how special she was and left her alone.

It was his turn and he was nervous. "I didn't- didn't have a father. Someone I could look up to. Model myself after. Someone who could show me what it really meant to be a man." Finn gulps back tears and Rachel smiles at him proudly.

"We don't care what the judges say. We won. Because we had you as a teacher." Rachel tells the man sitting at his desk area crying. He knows she's right. They did win. Because they had the most amazing teacher possible.

"And Glee club will never end, Mr. Shue, because…you are Glee Club. And you're in all of us now." Mercedes tells him. Finn thinks it's a good point and she's right. Glee Club will never end because it will always be in his heart. Forever.

It isn't over. They get one more year.

Thank you Sue Sylvester.

He never thought he'd be thinking those words.

It's summer. Finally. Finn has all summer to prove to Rachel that he's going to be a great boyfriend. He has to prove it too her. Because he loves her. And if she doesn't love him back he'll be crushed. It'll be a tragedy and he'll probably cry for endless hours listening to "faithfully" on repeat. That's how much he loves her.

Damn. He really loves Rachel Barbra Berry.

Rachel's giggling and sitting in his lap.

They are in his basement watching some stupid show that neither one of them is really interested in watching. They are more focused on each other and how amazing this summer is going so far for both of them. "Okay so secrets huh Finn? Alright. You go fist." She pokes his chest playfully her smile bright and her eyes happy.

"When we first met I thought your name was Barbra." It slips out. At first he thinks she's going to get mad and yell at him like Quinn did, but then she's smiling and laughing and places a kiss on his lips at how silly he is.

"My goodness Finn. That is very interesting to know. My turn?" Rachel's laughing. He's nodding ready to hear her secret.

She's got her face scrunched up in a way that shows she's thinking. "I love you." She's smiling sheepishly and he can't believe she's finally said it. It's the first time the words have actually been said out loud from her. It makes his heart warm.

Before he knows what's happening he's got her on her back and he's kissing his way down her neck. Oh yeah this summer is going fucking awesome!

"She doesn't want me." Rachel randomly blurts out one day when they are sitting outside on a picnic she had set up. He's drawing circles on the exposed skin on her stomach when she says it. Abruptly he stops. Finn leans up and looks at her face. Her eyes are closed and he can tell she's close to crying.

He scoots up close to her and places a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Who doesn't want you, baby?" Finn asks as he strokes her hair in a loving way. They both sit up and now he can definitely tell she's going to cry.

She's biting her lip and breathing heavy. "My mom." tears finally slip down her cheeks and he feels bad for her. She doesn't deserve to be hurt by anyone. Especially not her own mother. That's just not right.

He's silent. He doesn't know what to say. So he doesn't say anything. Just pulls her into his arms in a loving embrace. "She took Beth. Shelby didn't want me. She wanted a baby. Apparently I was too old for her. So she adopted Quinn and Noah's baby. After she made me meet her Finn! Got my hopes that she might want to be in my life. Well, she doesn't." Rachel is full on crying now and he keeps kissing her and trying to comfort her. He's afraid he'll say the wrong thing.

"Shelby's a bitch. Your way too good for her." Finn says quietly. Though Rachel hears and begins laughing. So he figures it must have been close to the right thing to say.

"I swear Finn. If I walk in on one more Finchel make out I am going to gouge my own eyes out with my perfectly manicured fingernails." Kurt complains to him one night before they are both going to bed. They are spending the night with the Hummel's because their parents are dating again and this time Finn promised to be on his very best behavior and he expressed how very sorry he was to Burt and Kurt. Both of them excepted his apology.

Finn just laughs in pulls his shirt off. Kurt's just jealous that he doesn't have anyone to get some loving from. Well, that's just too bad. He'll just have to get over it.

"Good night Kurt." He laughs.

Finn has never been this happy in his life.

"Your very smart Finn. Don't let was she's said to you mess with your head. Your intelligent. She just needed someone to take her anger out on. If she couldn't see how smart and sweet you are, that's her loss." Rachel's smiling at him. And he feels a lot better.

Maybe Rachel is right. Maybe he isn't as dumb as he thought.

"Thank you for loving me." Rachel says quietly into his chest. It's been a long day for both of them. Junior year has been started for a while, and it's really putting stress on their usually perfect relationship. They are laying on his bed watching "Funny Girl." So he's surprised she said anything.

"I love you no matter what. No need to thank me." Finn smiles at her and she smiles back. They share a kiss and then they are back to watching the movie.

"Can I ask you one question?" Finn asks.

She nods quickly. "Where did you even get the address to a crack house?" Rachel is glaring at him then she hits his chest. He's laughing to hard to care. He holds her tiny fists in his hands. And kisses her deeply. She's smiling into his mouth and he's gotten her happy once again.

"But seriously. Do you have some crazy crack addiction I don't know about?" He teases and she hits him playfully one last time.

They are having a lot of problems lately. Nothing is going right. He doesn't understand why he isn't allowed to be happy for more than a couple of months. It doesn't make any sense to him. And Finn really doesn't understand what has happened to his Rachel. She's acting differently, being really insecure, and he just doesn't know what to do anymore.

It just really fucking sucks.

Rachel was even happy when he was almost not on the football team anymore. Really? Something that makes him happy is possibly gone and she's all smiles it doesn't even make sense. Plus that outfit. What is she trying to prove? That she's sexy? He already thinks she's the prettiest, cutest, hottest, and sexiest girl in the school. Why do other people need to think that too? Shouldn't his opinion be the only one that matters?

He sure thinks so.

Though, if Finn's being honest. He hasn't really been the best boyfriend either. Like at all. But he's trying to make this work. Can he honestly say the same for her? He is starting not to think so.

Grilled Cheesus.

He's started praying to this sandwich that looks like Jesus and it's working! He isn't exactly sure how it works, but he decides that it probably works like a genie. So he'll make three wishes to Grilled Cheesus.

His first wish was to get to touch Rachel's boobs. And it happened! First she was talking about how their kids would be Jewish, which he was totally cool with. Then said something about waiting to have sex until she's twenty-five. His heart just about stopped.

Twenty-five? Really.

Well, next thing he know's they are laying on his bed kissing and she's slowly moving his hand up to where he wants it. It takes everything he has not to lose it right there.

The next wish was to be the quarterback again. Which he also gets. Though it's at the expense of the new guy Sam. He hurts his shoulder so Finn gets the quarterback position handed right back to him.

He isn't sure what he wants for his third wish.

Burt is sick. And eh doesn't know what to do. His mom is sad, Kurt is sad, the whole club is just sad. And he wants nothing more than for Burt to pull out of this and get better. Kurt deserves his dad back. Especially after already losing his mom so many years ago.

So that's what he decides to use his final wish on. Burt. He wants him better. So he prays to Grilled Cheesus every night until his mom tells him the good news that Burt's going home and everything should be okay. He just has to watch what he eats.

Finn's glad he used his last wish on something unselfish.

"You make me want to be a better person." Rachel's words make him want to be a better person. He is just so happy that they are starting to get back to being an amazing couple again. This is what he's wanted back. He's missed this.

They sing an offensive song in the duests competition and Finn doesn't think eithe rone of them has been happier to lose ever.

"I didn't sleep with Jesse."

What? What...no. No. No. No. No. They were supposed to be even. And when they time came they were both not going to be virgins together. This can't be happening. How can he tell her the truth now? There's no way he can. Not without hurting her feelings.

Finn hates lying to her, but fuck. He has too. He can't break her heart and tell her that their first time won't be his first time because he already handed his virginity away to a girl who didn't deserve it.

Damn it. This whole situation is so screwed up.

Okay so it's official. Rachel lied. He is stupid. What kind of moron walks through the hallways in his underpants just to make him feel better about himself? This one. And let's just get one thing straight. It did NOT help him feel better about himself at all.

It's the first time she's ever touched him...down there...and it's one of the best things he's ever felt. No one has ever touched him down there except for himself. He thinks of the mailman repeatedly. Because if he didn't then he would have blown his load.

Thank you Mr. Mailman. Thank you so much.

"I don't really like the substitute." Rachel tells Finn while they are on the phone. Everyone in the club like Miss Holiday, she's awesome. But he doesn't think she's very nice to Rachel so he can't really blame her for not exactly warming up to her.

Honestly? He doesn't like Miss. Holiday very much either. He just thinks she's really, really hot for an older chick.

"Burt and I are getting married!" Carole announces.

Finn ish shocked and isn't sure whether he's happy or sad. But at this moment he just smiles and nods and says how great he thinks the whole thing is. He really can't wait for them to get married and be happy. He is happy for them. Even though he's also a little hurt that his mom is moving on.

What about his dad? How would he feel about this?

The wedding is being planned. Kurt is going to make sure it's an extra special day for His mom and Burt. Finn has faith that Kurt will. He's just still not sure how he feels about all this. Though he does like the new house they are moving into. It's just a lot of changes.

He's getting nervous. He's never really had a family besides his mom and Rachel. Now look. He's got a step dad and a little brother! What is he supposed to do? Man up. That's for sure. If his mom is happy then so is he.

Finn knows they can all make this work.

It's the day of the wedding when Satan oops, Santana, walks up to him and starts talking about reputation and how Rachel makes him a loser. Part of him is still insecure about his popularity but the other part doesn't care. He loves Rachel and nothing Santana says can change that.

She just needs to back off and leave him alone.

Once Santana leaves Rachel walks in looking beautiful. He tells her and she says she loves him. Everything is perfect. But he knows what's coming. It's terrifying, but he knows what he's going to have to do. Even though he really doesn't want to.

Eventually the truth will have to come out.

The wedding was fun! People cried, there was dancing, singing, great food, all in all a perfect day. Except for the fact that they aren't going on a honeymoon because Kurt's getting bullied. How could Finn have let this happen? He's supposed to be a brother.

But of course he screws that up just like every other thing.

Santana spilled the fucking beans. Thanks a lot. Rachel hates him now, and can he blame her? Though it's not like they were dating at the time! But he did lie to her for almost a year. Making him a pretty bad guy. He even had a chance to tell her the truth and he didn't.

He's sorry. He will never stop screwing things up. Ever.

Rachel wants to slap him. They are in the counselors office and she's even more angry with him now then she seemed to be before. He has tried apologizing nine hundred and fifty times but she just won't listen. Finn wants nothing more than for them to go back to being together and happy. But that won't happen.

Once the session is over they leave and he tries to grab her hand but she pulls away. "Just leave me alone Finn. I need some time to think." She sighs. Rachel walks away quickly as she wipes tears from her eyes.

Finn never meant to make her cry. That's why he didn't tell her the truth in the first place. So he could prevent something like this from ever happening.

Finn wants to break something. She cheated on him. Rachel cheated on him. What the fuck is going on with the world? How dare she do this too him. He may have lied but at least he didn't fucking cheat. He's so angry. Finn just wants to go find Puck and beat his ass. How dare Puck do this too him again.

God he's an idiot. He's had too girlfriends and both of them have cheated on him with Puck. This can't be happening. Damn it. What does Puck have that he doesn't? He can't even think straight enough to try and answer they question. She's looking at him sadly and he doesn't even give a damn.

He's glad she's fucking upset. He's upset. She should be too. "We can go to couples counseling!" Rachel sound so sure like couples counseling would just fix everything. But they can't go. He won't go. You know why?

"You can't go to couples counseling if your not a couple." That's why. His words rip through her flesh and stab her right in the heart. What happened to forever? Finn just wants to die. Go crawl in a hole somewhere and lay down to die.

She's hiccuping back tears as he walks away. "You promised you'd never break up with me!" Rachel shouts pointing a finger at him. His eyes sting and he doesn't know what she wants him to say. They both made a lot of promises. Obviously he should've made her promise to be faithful. But he just kind of figured that was a given.

"I didn't know you'd make me feel like this."

Finn's in his room with the door shut and locked. He just wants to be alone. He's got his stereo turned all the way up and he's listening to the journey cd Rachel bought him for their one month anniversary over and over again.

He's crying. And Finn is pretty sure it's not quietly. He hasn't been this upset in a long time. Hell, he probably hasn't ever been this upset. He is crushed. He feels like Rachel has taken his heart and made out with Puck all over it.

Now Finn's yelling. He doesn't know why either but it feels great to just scream loudly. It's what he needs. Just to yell and cry.

The CD has probably ran through at least ten times when he hear's a knock on the door. "Go away!" He yells loudly. Yet the knock on the door is insistent and it won't stop. Whoever it is, is about to get a big bunch of anger in their face when the door opens.

Though, when he actually does open the door and see's his mother standing there, he stops being so angry. He feels a little more calm actually. She's always had that effect on him. She's always been able to make him calm down and feel better. Thought his time he's pretty sure nothing she does will make him feel better.

"Dinner's ready baby." Carole smiles kindly and he just stares at her.

"Not hungry." Finn says and he's about to shut the door but she stops it.

"I expect you downstairs in ten minutes. You are eating dinner with us Finnegan Anthony Hudson. If you are not downstairs in ten minutes I will bring Burt and Kurt with me and we will all eat dinner in your bedroom." Carole warns then shuts his door.

Ten minutes later he is downstairs at the dinner table. Eating quietly.

Finn doesn't want to get back together with her. Can't Rachel understand that? He just wants to be Finn for a while. That's all why can't she just let him do that. He really doesn't need this. She just needs to stop trying.

He can't handle it.

Rachel threw it at him. The Finn necklace he bought her to wear just to show everyone she's his got thrown in his face. It was like a big "Fuck you." Actually he's pretty sure she did say that to him. And he can't help but wonder where her swearing came from.

Puck.

He hopes they are freaking happy together. Actually, no he doesn't he hopes they are miserable because they make him miserable!

Finn isn't sure what to do with the necklace.

Stupid duet. Stupid Puck. Stupid football players.

Everything is fucking stupid.

This is the worst idea anyone has ever had. The girls joining the football team? They could get hurt! Rachel could get hurt! She is just so tiny and what if something were to happen to her? Finn would never forgive himself ever.

Shit. Rachel isn't his concern anymore. He just needs to stop.

They win. The football team actually wins.

He can only remember one other time that happened. Maybe everything is changing for a reason. Maybe Finn's getting another chance to be happy. He sure hopes so. That's why he decides since he's single he'll become the school heart throb again. He'll have any girl he wants.

Oh yeah. He'll be living the dream.

Finn was right! Everyone loves him! He can have any girl he wants. Right now? He wants Quinn back. He seriously isn't sure why. He just thinks it's the right thing to do. And when she kissed him at the booth he felt fireworks. Though it was missing something.

Like maybe the fire?

"What do you feel when you kiss me?" Rachel asks as she's tending too him in the nurses office. Santana gave him mono which he gave to Quinn. And today has just been all confusing. Quinn makes it seem like she wants to be with him yet once she and her boyfriend are broken up or whatever she says he needs to figure things out with Rachel. What does that even mean? They are broken up end of story.

Except maybe not end of story. The questions good and he has to think about it. What does he feel when he kisses Rachel? It's different (and better) than when he kisses Quinn. With Quinn it's fireworks. Yet it's not. It's like that moment when your waiting for them to go off. And your excited. Though the excitement passes eventually. It's before they are lit. Before the fire. With Rachel. It isn't even fireworks. Fireworks couldn't compare to the way he feels when his lips are pressed against hers.

She's saying something and leaving so obviously he took to long to answer. "Rachel wait! I-" Then she's gone. And he doesn't get to finish his sentence. Part of him is glad she didn't He would have forgiven her. And he isn't ready to forgive her not yet anyways.

Though he wants nothing more than to hold her right now.

It's valentines day when he decides to get drunk. He actually feels like a loser because he's all by himself with a six pack of beer and a thing of vodka. He doesn't plan on drinking all of it. Just most of it so the memory of Rachel will be gone. His parents are out of town this weekend and Kurt's spending the night with a friend. So Finn is absolutely alone.

He doesn't know what time it is, but he calls her. No not Quinn Rachel. Though's he's pretty sure Quinn and him are dating. Finn's drunk so nothing matters really. Except for the phone in his hand and the curt way Rachel answers the phone.

"Hello." She says dryly.

"Hey." Finn tries to sound nonchalant and sober. But it doesn't work. He just sounds drunk.

"I miss you Rachel. But I don't want us back together. Because I can't do that to me. I need time apart from you. But I love you. I always have. And it hurt me when you cheated on me with Puck." Finn's pouting now even though she can't see and he lets a single tear roll down his cheek.

Rachel just laughs. A dry angry laugh. "Are you drunk? Okay whatever Finn. Goodbye." She hangs up the phone and twenty minute skater Kurt is in his room putting him to bed.

Though he's not sure if it's the alcohol or not but he thinks he's hears a melodic voice speaking as well. Not just Kurt's voice. "Get him in be then we can go back to my house." The voice says. Kurt nods and gives Finn a stern look.

"Go to bed Finn. And don't make anymore stupid phone calls. Let's go Rach." Kurt says as he leaves the room with Rachel. And that proves it. She was there. That's the friend Kurt was with. Though they never ever speak of it so Finn can't be completely sure whether or not it actually happened.

Everyone is dressing like Rachel and he doesn't understand why.

Don't they all hate the way Rachel dresses?

He thought so. But apparently not.

Everything is so backwards.

Is Sam dating Santana?

What the fuck?

So Rachel's a needy drunk. Okay good to know he guesses. Even though the Rachel Berry house party train wreck extravaganza isn't going exactly how he planned. He can't really complain. He's having fun. He actually thinks everyone is having fun.

Finn will even try and pretend he didn't get jealous when Rachel kissed Blaine.

Or when she sang with him.

He misses her.

Did Miss Holiday just put him down? He thinks so.

So what. He wasn't smart enough to realize his girlfriend couldn't get pregnant without actually having sex. How long is everyone going to hold that one over his head.

Forever he guesses.

Finn feels like a douche. Rachel should never feel like she can't get it right. It's him. He's the one that can't get it right. Not her. He's the one whose terrified of having a relationship with her again. And he's the one who can't man the fuck up and forgive her.

He needs to get it right.

One thing she is right about. The last time they were here he did say he loves her. Finn wishes nothing more than to be able to say it again.

Even though he's with Quinn.

Fuck. Why does this always happen? It's like a vicious cycle.

Quinn.

Rachel.

Quinn.

Rachel.

Damn it! Can't his brain just shut up and let him pick one of them?

"You're an idiot Finn."

This is what they're back too? He thought being with her again would be better the second time around. But once again he's wrong.

So fucking wrong.

Mercedes has gone completely insane and Rachel feels like he's rubbing his relationship with Quinn in her face. Well okay. Maybe he is. But she doesn't get to be upset about it. Didn't she want to hurt him when she cheated on him with Puck?

Well he isn't cheating.

Finn is just simply being in love with his girlfriend and he wants everyone to know. What's so wrong with that? Wasn't Rachel like that at one point. Didn't she want everyone to see how in love they were?

So she shouldn't be allowed to complain.

Though he does feel bad that he made Rachel sad.

And Mercedes. What the fuck is up with that?

So he accidently broke Rachel's nose. Wait that sounds terrible considering they are broken up. Well no it's the truth though. He actually accidently broke Rachel's nose. It's because he's such an awful dancer. He can't help it! He really didn't mean to.

Finn loves her nose.

Alright so Quinn is an even bigger bitch than he thought. Who does she think she is making Rachel think she isn't beautiful. Rachel is beautiful. Ten times more beautiful then Quinn could ever dream to be. Seriously though? Why does Rachel really think her nose is bad? She doesn't need a nose job.

Quinn just needs to mind her own business.

Especially considering who she used to be. Lucy. Yeah he feels bad for Quinn, but he thinks changing herself completely was pathetic. People should be happy with who they are no matter what they look like.

"Your T-shirt should say bad at everything. My t-shirt should say too popular and pretty don't you think?" Okay so seriously. He hates this chick most of the time.

Could Quinn be more self centered?

He hopes not.

Finn doesn't want to go his own way.

Er. Wait. Yes he does. He's with Quinn now. She's what's important. He loves her. He loves her. He loves her. He loves.

So wait. If Finn really loves her, why does her always feel like he has to talk himself into loving her? It just doesn't make sense.

Jesse is back.

Why? Why does this douche have to come back. Everything was perfect. And now he'd here to just piss Finn off. Okay so not just to piss Finn off but to also help them or some shit like that he doesn't know he quit listening.

I mean they won regionals. Why do they need help.

The don't.

Jesse's probably just trying to get in Rachel's pants.

Stupid Douche.

Quinn looks really pretty. I mean it's prom of course she's going to look pretty.

But Rachel? She looks gorgeous in her pretty pink dress and her big brown eyes. She looks perfect. Absolutely and he wishes he could tell her so, but that would be weird considering Quinn is his date and he hasn't even really told her how good she looks.

Well this night has turned out terrible for Finn. He just wanted Jesse to keep it PG. And to stay away from Rachel. Honestly. That's all he wanted. But of course they both get kicked out and it's all stupid Jesse St. Jack asses fault.

Seriously it is.

Oh man. Quinn is going to be so pissed.

When Finn finds out Jean Sylvester has died, he feels so sorry for Sue. No matter how mean she's been to them no one deserves to lose someone so important to him. So he decides to help her plan the funeral along with Kurt.

The place looks great. Finn thinks it's something Jean would've liked even though he didn't know her. Sue is crying and he's pretty sure that's the first time he's ever seen a woman that scary cry.

The funeral starts and Sue is saying her speech. It's beautiful. She is so upset that she can't even continue so Mr. Shue goes up and reads it for her. And Finn can't believe how much this speaks to him. It just makes so much sense.

And the tether.

He doesn't feel that with Quinn.

That's why he breaks up with her. She's angry and blah blah blah. But Finn doesn't care. Because he understands why things with Rachel and him are never over. Because he feels a tether with her. She's special.

Even when they are apart it's like he can still feel Rachel with him.

It's in the car on the way home when he realizes he made a huge mistake a couple of months ago. Rachel si it for him. She's always been the girl of his dreams. Why is he always stupid enough to let her slip through his fingers?

Can someone please answer that for him? Please?

He writes an amazing song in the hotel room at Nationals.

They are in New York because they made it here. This is there big break. They can't screw this up. So he writes a duet that's a winner for sure. It's inspired by the date he took Rachel on actually because he knows they are just pretending they don't feel anything for each other anymore.

It's stupid.

Why can't they just stop pretending?

It's obvious she still loves him.

They kiss.

It's the superman of all kisses. It deserves it's own cape.

Okay so maybe the kiss happened at an inappropriate time, but who cares. It shoes that they are very much in love and that Finchel is back on. Doesn't it? Or does it just mean they got caught up in the moment and it was a mistake.

Now he's scared.

And sad because they didn't make it in the top ten.

Santana blames them and won't stop yelling in Spanish. Like seriously? The chick is being crazy. They didn't mean to fuck up there chances. Really it just happened.

No one was supposed to get hurt. It's like regionals all over again from last year. It doesn't matter what the judges said.. They are still winners. And they got eleventh place! That's amazing!

They shouldn't be disappointed.

But they are.

Finn's been hiding out in the library trying to avoid his fellow Glee members. It's Rachel who finds him and takes a seat next to him on the floor. She starts talking about how it's okay and that it's what he was feeling in that moment and that's what true performers do. They put feeling into their performances.

Then she says it. She's going to New York after graduation no matter what. And he doesn't care. He'll follow her if he has too. There is no way he's letting her get away from him again. So he asks her what she's doing for the next year and she smiles and kisses him.

It's a funny thing to. Because he realizes it's taken him two years to figure out how to be who he is. Two years to find himself. This last year will just be for fun. Because now, he's got her, he knows who Finn is without her and he hates the guy, and he knows who Finn is with her. That's the guy he wants to be, and he's finally happy.

Finn finally realizes How to be the quarterback and so much more.

*End*

So wow that one got a way from me haah...please review. If it was terrible seriously let me know! I honestly need to know if it was the worst thing you've ever read.

And I need to know which Character you want me to do next.

I'm thinking Santana or Rachel. Maybe even Puck lol(:

Review my kind friends!