When a Soldier Cries…

Rei: hello! (waves) Readers, this fic was inspired by the episode of FMA when Hughes died. My remake of Roy and Riza talking after the funeral…it's kinda sad….TT….

Well, here it goes…

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Roy couldn't help but stare at the gravestone. It was just hard for him to comprehend that his best friend, the one who was supposed to work under him, support him through everything, and always be there….and he was gone…

Hughes. He was going to encourage the Colonel and raise his family, and he was going to be there when Roy started his own too. He was supposed to be living his perfect life…hell, he was supposed to be living…and he wasn't….

He was gone.

The night Roy had arrived in Central and found out that Hughes was dead, he didn't cry, he still hadn't cried. He NEVER cried, it was unbecoming of a Soldier.

But so was dying…

He became aware of his first lieutenants presence behind him. He had thought she would have gone home by now, but she was a dutiful assistant and wouldn't leave until the Colonel himself had.

Even though the sun had begun to slink down over the horizon and the air was getting cooler, Roy couldn't bring himself to leave, to go home. There he would just be trapped inside with his pain, he felt better being here, close to his friend, in a manner of speaking.

He studied the small carved letters that read, "Brigadier General Maes Hughes, killed in the line of duty." and he couldn't help but feel angry.

That was another promise broken. Hughes said he'd always work under him, but now that he was dead, he out ranked him, that wasn't fair…it wasn't right….

"He lied ya know…" Roy said finally. He'd kept quiet for so long that his voice was raspy and sounded unearthly, even to him, but at least he'd spoken.

"Sir?" Riza asked quietly from behind him, though she was pretty sure she knew what he was talking about.

"He said there was nothing to worry about. That he could handle it…and now look at him." His voice was beginning to warm up, but it still had that teary undertone. Riza was silent, but continued to watch him.

"He had a family, and friends and a good job damn it! And it wasn't his turn to die! He shouldn't have…." he swallowed hard, fighting back the urge to cry, and he continued.

"I should have known, I should have prevented it… but I was too stupid to see what was right there and now a good man is dead. Because I made a mistake, because I was to blind to see that my-"his voice broke. "My best friend was in trouble. Maybe I could have stopped it Lieutenant, but I didn't… I should be the one in the ground not him, at least no one needed me…I-"

"Sir, forgive me but, shut up…"

Roy was shocked to say the least by his comrade's' attitude, she was normally so polite and respectful, but she just told him to shut up…

"What?" He asked in disbelief, but he didn't turn around to face her

"Sir, you are not the one to blame for Hughes' death, he was killed by an unidentified enemy, not you. He didn't tell you because he knew you would react like this, you always do. He wanted you to follow your dreams, not anyone else's. Can't you see that?"

She was almost pleading with him now, she didn't want Roy to start blaming himself for this, he would already be a mess, it would at least be better if he was moving on…

"Sir, please, for once, listen to me. You cant go on like this, you have to be strong, for Gracia and Elicia, they are gonna need a strong man in their' lives right now and you aren't gonna be any good to any body if you're moping around and condemning yourself for this."

"Ha, I wish you were right Riza, but I really don't think they would even want to see me now."

"Not like this, hell I don't even want to see you like this…" she crossed her arms and shifted her weight, but still refused to remove her gaze.

"Maybe you're right Lieutenant but, " he turned around, "How can I face Gracia after all this? How can I look her in the eye and tell her how sorry I am and keep my military composure?"

Riza mentally gasped at the silvery tracks running down the Colonel's face. She had never seen the man cry before, especially like this.

He just looked so helpless like this and that's why she just couldn't help her self.

It was all in a continuous movement as she slid closer to Roy and wrapped her eyes around him, holding him in a comforting embrace that was anything but 'military appropriate', but she wasn't very concerned by that.

"Tell me, how do I face her?" he asked again, but this time with more difficulty as he had started to sob now. The uncontrollable waves of pain and sadness overwhelmed him and he couldn't stop no matter how hard he tried.

He buried his head in her chest and wept as she ran her fingers through his hair and tried to calm him. "Colonel how could you not? She knows it wasn't your fault, she loves you like a brother and Elicia like an Uncle, they really don't blame you…"

She smiled, "and as for your Military composure, I thought you made a promise to yourself never to follow an order you find unreasonable, don't you think this counts?"

He looked up at her through his teary eyes, he had to stop crying, he HAD to, but He couldn't, he wasn't supposed to cry Ever. So stop Roy. He told himself. But no matter what he tried, he couldn't.

Riza studied him, a soft expression on her features. His tears dampened the Colonel's hair and it was clinging to his face, making him look unnaturally young and scared.

It was kind of cute to see the normally serious male being so open with his emotions; even he wasn't meaning to be.

"Are you gonna be okay Colonel?" She asked after a moment. He nodded and backed off, regaining his posture by wiping his face and coughing.

"Yes Lieutenant, I'll be fine. Thank you…." he returned his hat to his head and glanced back at the grave.

"Sir, are you gonna be able to talk to her?"

"Yeah, but, I would like it if you came with me Riza…"

She smiled, "Of course Sir… are you ready to go?"

"Yes, let's go…" he let his eyes linger a moment longer on the tiny letters reading "Brigadier General" and he smiled while turning around.

"You know, I'm gonna have to work harder from now on, if I plan on outranking him someday…"

Riza laughed, "Does that mean you are actually going to do your paper work Sir?"

"Probably not…."

Sweat drop…

They made their way back to the car, and Riza remembered a saying she'd heard before.

"It is Never good to see a soldier cry and it's defiantly Never expected, but when you do have the chance to see it, you'd better etch it into your memories forever and Never forget…"

X

Rei: well? Did you like it? It was mainly just a revamp of what happened, just in more detail and with more Royainess, what can I say, I'm a sucker for the sentimental crap….

PLZ R&R!!! Much luff to readers!!!

REI OUT