Isn't that Wonderful?

The breeze that brings whispered words to my ears
Shakes me inside, in my heart
The clouds that carry tomorrow to us
Say that it should be so

The moon that is reflected on the glass
Shakes me again in my heart
The star that causes the current to move
Softly allows my tears to flow

Picture you and me
Holding hands, walking closely, isn't that wonderful?
It would be so great
Could we visit your home with me still in your arms?

Yours is the chest
I'll keep my body by
Let's stay like this all night
Like a daydream


Before the wind stopped it whispered to me
A beautiful kind of dream
The clouds all broke away and they agreed
That tomorrow is distant

The moonlight that is a fixed reflection
Flows peacefully in my heart
The star shakes and the current overflows
Taking away my tears with it

Picture you and me
Holding hands, walking closely, isn't that wonderful?
It would be so great
Could we visit your home with me still in your arms?

Yours is the face
I'll always softly touch
Let's greet dawn when it comes
Like a daydream

DISCLAIMER: "Suteki da Ne" is originally by Rikki with creds to Nobuo Uematsu/Squaresoft/Square/et al. However, these ARE my original lyrics, so please don't post them anywhere without my personal permission. I translated the original lyrics to create the basis for this song and loosely based it from there, changing around wording to help the syllables fit and keep it flowing, like the original. I'm very aware that the lines don't rhyme ^^;;; I thought about using different words, but it didn't work too well in my mind. It sounds good the way it is, honestly--I made a rough recording of it on the karaoke track of "Suteki da Ne" for the fun of it (check my website for a link to it [it's not up yet as of this posting, but it'll be there soon]) and I'd really like to find a studio to record it more professionally (instead of my monitor-implanted mic and Acid Pro).

But here's the ultimate question: What do YOU think of it???