Sometimes, Thalia Grace wonders if taking the oath to become a Hunter was the best idea. It's not as if she doesn't like Artemis and her sister Hunters. In the daughter of Zeus's opinion, they're the family she has never had—other than Jason, of course. The problem isn't quite that she isn't, at least, slightly used to the fact that her friends are aging around her while her physical features are untouched by time. She's had enough experience of that for a lifetime, actually. Empires rise. You get turned into a pine tree. Empires collapse. You get purged from your plant. Yep. Definitely used to it.
Okay, so maybe she is still a bit uncomfortable with the whole concept of "watching-our-'former'-friends-age-around-us-while-we-stay-as-eternal-maidens". To be honest, it seriously freaks her out sometimes.
A perfect example of this business is her best friend, Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena. Annabeth is technically five years younger then Thalia is. Annabeth is twenty-three at this moment, which basically means that Thalia is eight years younger then the little seven-year-old that was wielding a hammer she found at Richmond Ironworks. Stuff like that can really deep-fry her brain sometimes. Does that mean that if Thalia were to go back in time, she would be negative one years old, due to the fact that seven minus eight clearly equals negative one?
Never mind. Thalia was at the wedding, of course. Apparently, she was an "honored guest"—she downright refused to be a bridesmaid, although she didn't even know why Annabeth bothered to ask her—along with Nico di Angelo, the ever-despondent son of Hades, Clarisse La Rue, the rather violent daughter of Ares, Frank Zhang, one of the more sensible children of Mars and an awesome archer, Hazel, Nico's half-sister and cheerful for a child of the god of death, Chiron, and—Zeus help her—Lupa from Camp Jupiter. Thalia was positive that Percy Jackson had placed them there for her own "benefit", especially Nico di Angelo. She had made a mental note to kick Percy's ass after the wedding.
It was times like that when Thalia thought about whether or not being a Hunter was worth it.
She feels lonely, sometimes, even if a whole band of Hunters is trailing behind her. She feels as if there's one important piece of her heart missing—one that she can never reclaim. She certainly knows exactly what is causing her to feel like she isn't whole.
Thalia Grace isn't one to cry over dead boys she used to like. She keeps her emotions locked up tight behind two double-set iron doors with about every security method you can imagine. But sometimes, it's too much. The doors blow open, the security measures are malfunctioning, and she finds herself with wet eyes.
Yes. The one and only guy that she has ever actually loved. She had willingly let Luke Castellan access her heart, and he took it and broke it. That fight on Mount Tam was the worst time of her life. Thalia felt as if her own soul was being ripped apart. And then, when she had unintentionally shoved Luke off the cliff…she wanted to jump down onto the sharp rocks with him.
She is reminded of a conversation she had with Annabeth.
Thalia's question had come right out of the blue. "Annabeth, did you ever love Luke?"
Annabeth, who was due to give birth any day at that time, nearly choked. "Excuse me? Did I ever love Luke? In what way?"
"Well…" Thalia stuttered, suddenly unsure of what to say.
Annabeth chuckled. "Wipe that look off of your face. It makes you appear ridiculous."
"Thank you, in Zeus's name," Thalia grumbled. "You know what I mean, Annabeth."
"Okay, so what if I do?" Annabeth sighed wearily, the smile melting off her face. "Honestly, Thalia…I never actually love-loved him. You get what I mean, do you? The way that you and Luke felt about each other."
Thalia moistened her lips. "Luke told me once that if he ever achieved Elysium, he would choose rebirth."
Annabeth traced a finger in the creases of her blanket. "And now, you want to believe that he's back in the real world and he doesn't remember any of us."
Thalia took a shaky breath. "I don't care what anybody else thinks about Luke. I don't care if anybody still thinks him as the camp's betrayer. Everybody deserves a second chance, Annabeth. Even Kronos does. Even though he already had another chance." Thalia sighed, frustrated, not knowing how to say what was on her mind. "You're right, as usual. I loved him."
Annabeth raised an eyebrow at the blunt manner. "Luke does deserve a second chance, Thals, but Kronos? Really? I never thought that I would hear that from you."
Thalia's fists tightened. "You do remember that Luke was Kronos's host for a while."
"I know," Annabeth gently said, "but Luke and Kronos are two very different personalities."
Thalia's shoulders slumped. "That's true. Why am I even arguing for Kronos?"
Her friend's shoulders rose up, and then down.
Thalia is snapped out of the memory when she notices that Phoebe is trying to communicate with her.
"Oh…hi," Thalia lamely says. "What's up?"
"Nothing, really," Phoebe replies. "Lady Artemis wants to see you. That's all."
Thalia mutters, "That's your definition of nothing?"
Phoebe slightly smirks. "She won't turn you into a jackalope or anything like that."
Thalia sighs. "You are so comforting at times."
Phoebe smiles wider. "I know, right?"
Thalia heavily gets to her feet and trudges out of the tent. She stops, staring at the fluttering tent that Artemis was in. She doesn't know why, but she is suddenly reluctant to meet the moon goddess. It's insane thinking, of course. Thalia has seen Artemis plenty of times, so why is she feeling all sweaty?
Thalia hasn't noticed that her feet were working automatically until Artemis called from inside, "Come in. What are you waiting for?"
Thalia takes a deep breath as she walks in and then says hurriedly, "Ineeetttogetuawa."
"Come again?" Artemis frowns, confused.
"I…I need to go for a walk," Thalia mumbles, looking away.
Artemis looks surprised. "What for?"
Thalia hesitates. I just want to go out into New York City to see if the guy I still love is there as a new life. Somehow, that doesn't seem like quite the statement to tell a virgin goddess that she wants to try to find the second life of Luke Castellan.
"I…want to see the Big Apple?" Thalia says, saying it more of a question then a statement.
Artemis looks at her strangely, but eventually relents.
"Just come back within an hour!" Artemis calls at Thalia's retreating back.
Thalia stumbles back at camp an hour later in horror of what she had just witnessed. She is clutching a bloody arm, her clothes are smeared with grime and soot, and to top it all off, she has a newly acquired black eye and a fractured ankle.
"Holy Artemis!" Phoebe shrieks when she sees the first lieutenant stumble across the camp. "What in Hades happened to you?"
Thalia is ashen-faced, mumbling incomprehensibly under her breath. She buckles down into the snowy grass, shivering.
"Thalia? Thalia!" Phoebe shakes the daughter of Zeus hard, gets no response and yells, "Lady Artemis? I think that—"
Artemis peeks out of the tent and is running towards them in a flash. "What happened? She said that she was going to the Big Apple in New York City!"
"I'll bet my bow and arrows that that wasn't her real intention," Phoebe mutters.
Thalia half-hears Phoebe and Artemis fussing over her, but her attention is still mostly fixed on the bloody dagger. The gaping hole in his chest. He has achieved Elysium once again, no doubt.
"Thalia. Thalia Grace." Artemis puts a hand on her lieutenant's shoulder. "I suppose that the Big Apple didn't miraculously come to life and pin you. What happened?"
Thalia just broke down right there, right in front of Phoebe, Artemis, and the whole group of Hunters. She hugged her chest and sobbed.
Sometimes, waiting for Luke's future lives is okay. And sometimes, waiting for Luke is unbearable. But Thalia will always be there, no matter how annoying it can be, looking out for the irritating son of Hermes.
Luke could be the boy with blond hair and baby blue eyes at Salem, Oregon half a century from the time Thalia saw Luke die for a second time. He could be the man in the brown trench coat, sipping coffee at Dunkin' Donuts two centuries from his initial appearance. He could be the demigod son of Athena that appears at Camp Half-Blood five hundred years later. There are so many possibilities, and Thalia knows that she will always be waiting for Luke Castellan, son of Hermes. Annabeth was wrong. Thalia is certain that gods, Titans, Giants, immortals, monsters, humans, and demigods alike all deserve a second chance. So she keeps an eye out for him, until she can be reunited with Luke…forever.