Faith without Honor
Ch. 1
Hermione Granger was nothing special. Her hair was an untamable, bushy mess, and her teeth were still slightly large for her face. She had never had a serious boyfriend, no matter how much she liked her friend Ron. She sometimes even doubted her feelings for him. He was brilliant, but he had no emotional perception what so ever. Hermione had waivered with her feelings for him since the yule ball incident. Even though she adored his freckles, she wasn't sure if she could take trying to reason with him any longer. Maybe she loved the idea of him, rather than Ron himself.
Hermione stood up from the floor of her room, and let the towel that had been wrapped around her fall. She couldn't help but gaze in the mirror. She was sixteen already, and there was nothing special about the image in the mirror. Her eyes were a boring pale brown, her curves were too soft and too subtle, and she was way too skinny. Her hand ran across her ribs. She should eat more. That would also solve the problem of her breasts. Unlike her other friends, and dorm mates, Hermione had small assets. Sure her breasts were perky but they were too small for her liking. She only was a B cup after all. She wasn't even endowed as much as Ginny.
When you paired all of that too her dull mess of a hair, Hermione knew that she wasn't very attractive to anyone. The only thing she really liked about herself was the richness of her creamy skin. It was about the only thing she could pride herself in, physically. Her skin had always been soft, and well cared for. Hermione couldn't remember the last time she had a blemish.
It was just after her birthday. A week past it actually. Harry and Ginny had both gotten her good gifts. Both had given her a few books that she had been dying to have, actually. But Ron. He hadn't known it was her birthday and only slapped his name on Ginny's gift, or at least he had tried to. Hermione sometimes wished that she would receive other things besides books, not that she could complain. The books were just what she wanted, but if Hermione was being honest with herself, she wanted more. And Ron always gave less.
It wasn't like he was a bad person or anything. Quite the contrary. Ron was intelligent, and smart and blunt. Sometimes Hermione thought he would have done well in Slytherin. But his heart was too big for the house. He kept his emotions pure and obvious. And he was too self-sacrificing to live with the snakes.
Just thinking about her friends made the loneliness appear. Harry and Ginny were smitten with each other and Ron had his 'Lav Lav'. The thought made her want to gag. She ran a hand through the slightly damp tresses of her hair. Damnit. Why hadn't she taken up Krum last year? They had kissed twice, but she had never let them become more than friends. It was all because of her feelings for the redhead.
Hermione sighed, and with one last look in the mirror she moved over to her trunk, where piles of robes sat in neat piles. Today had been a Hogsmead day but she had chosen to stay back to study for the upcoming OWLS. She doubted she would even pass the DADA Owl. Umbridge had to be the worst teacher they ever had. Even Quirrel taught them more.
She looked at the clock on the wall: 10:04. With another resounding sigh, Hermione dried her hair with her wand, and slipped out of the dorm. The common room was empty, but that didn't faze her. No one would be in the castle anyways. At least she hoped for there to be no one inhabiting the library. She could use a good book to take her mind away from the dull atmosphere surrounding her. She had felt this way since Ron had kissed Lavender right in front of her.
It wasn't only Ron that had been bothering her, either. Her father had adamantly stated that after she was done with her magic that she go to college to take over the family dentistry. Hermione definitely didn't want that. And she understood why her father demanded it. Hermione really wasn't that close to her parent's anymore. Last summer she had only spent a month with them, and most of that had been going on vacation. She had only been at home for a week.
She knew it hurt her parents to realize their little girl was growing up and moving on to a world that they could never be a part of. It hurt her too. Hermione never had been able to show her parents what she'd learned because they never understood anything about potions, or charms, or even transfiguration. As much as it hurt her to stray from her parents, it hurt more to think about leaving behind the wonderful ideas of magic.
How could they expect her to leave the world that she belonged in? Hermione couldn't answer that. She didn't even know if her parents thought it through. There would be a good chance any child she ever had would be a witch or wizard. It wasn't something she could control.
Before Hermione knew it, she was nearing the library, hoping to fend away the loneliness in her heart with a good book, or five.
HPHPHPHP
Draco sat silently brooding while his eyes were trained on a book. He had read the last page at least twenty times in the last half hour. His hand came up to run through his blond locks. They had grown longer than his father's preference, but Draco had managed to put off cutting it over the summer. He liked it longer. It felt safer when it was this length.
The other reason he liked it longer was because Pansy didn't. Contradictory to popular belief, he hated the girl. She had clung to him and his status by the time they were five. Sure they had snogged when they were younger. That didn't mean she had him at her beck and call, though. It was quite the opposite.
He groaned aloud and brought his thoughts back to the book. He had to have this read before Potions class on Monday. Draco excelled in the subject his godfather taught, but his mind was in a much different place today. He couldn't focus on the two foot essay. He had to have read the paragraph at least three times before the words began to sink in. This would be a long day.
When the door to the library opened, Draco was ready to snarl at whatever first or second year came through the door, but he was quickly placated at the gaze of a bushy haired prefect. He wanted to groan loudly.
"Granger?" Draco spoke. His soft question seemed to resound in the slice of the bookshelves.
Hermione turned her nose up, and moved to the opposite side of the room. Four books were planted on the table within seconds, but he swore he heard her mumble his name. She seemed to be pouting while staring at her own potions book.
Draco smirked to himself, eyes on the bush of hair and brains. That's all she was after all. A know it all who couldn't tame the beast that she called hair. He stood, picking up his potion book, only to glide over to her, and plop down in the chair beside her.
"What do you want, Malfoy? Can't you see I'm studying?" The malice in her voice showed through clear as day.
"Cub's got a bite," He retorted. "Did Potty and Weasel leave you behind?"
She flinched at that, and Draco felt a bit of guilt. "No, they didn't. I need to be studying for the Owls."
"Already? The tests are eight months away."
"Stuff it Malfoy. What do you want?" She was staring intently at the book in front of her.
"I have a proposition for you, Granger."
She sighed in aggravation, a quill going behind her ear. Draco noticed her other hand was clamped around her wand. "Look, Malfoy. I'm not in the mood for your little games. I have to revise my essay before class. And then, there's other homework, too. Transfiguration, charms, arithmancy…"
"I think you would do well to listen to me," Draco glanced around the room, As if he were nervous, "It will benefit both of us."
The next few minutes were spent in silence with Hermione chewing on her bottom lip. Draco watched her weight her options of even listening to him.
"What's your proposition?"
He studied his fingernails. "I'm having trouble with a few assignments recently. You have always been top of the class, no matter what your blood says."
"So you insult me and expect me to help you?" She looked like she could stand up and leave at any moment. Disgust was present in her eyes.
"No, no, not at all. I didn't mean to insult you." He spread his hands across the table. "I need help or else I'm going to fall behind."
"What? Draco Malfoy falling behind! What would Daddy say!" The mocking look on her face tested his control.
"Shut up. You don't know the situation."
She scoffed. "What will I get out of this deal?"
"Anything you want. I have money, or I can get the other Slytherins to leave your lot alone."
Her head went down to the book in front of her. Draco could tell she was thinking deeply about this. Her eyes were dancing and every so often her nose would wrinkle.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yes, Malfoy I will help you. But you have to swear that you'll repay me. I already have enough on my plate."
Draco grinned, "What else do you do besides help Harry sodding Potter?"
"Helping Harry isn't the only thing I do. I'll have you know I have an entire life outside of him." She rolled her eyes, but Draco felt as though he could read her.
He raised a brow. "You mean studying and moping around about the weasel?"
Smack.
Her bag came in contact with his shoulder. He would have thought she was angry if not for the laughter in her golden eyes. Draco had never notice how warm and deep they were. Almost like melted chocolate.
"What do you want in return?" He turned serious, a scowl appearing on his brow.
"For now?" Hermione bit her lip again. "Nothing."
She awkwardly sat up. "Later I'll want something, though. I don't know what but I will want something."
HPHPHPHP
That week's Potions class was as terrible as usual. Snape made crude comments and wouldn't let her answer any problem he presented. To top things off, Draco would not stop staring at her for the entire two hours. How she wished Potions only lasted an hour. After helping him study during the Hogsmead weekend, and meeting him again the next day, Draco hadn't stopped staring at her anything they were in the same room.
"Vial your potions and put a cork in them. You are free to leave after." Snape's dreary voice carried through the room. Hermione glanced around the room, and most of the room already had their cauldrons cleaned and prepped for the next day.
"Go on without me. I'll catch up." Hermione insisted, shooing her friends along so she could clean her workspace.
Ron and Harry left class before she did, leaving her and Draco as the only ones to finish putting away ingredients. After potions all fifth years had no more classes for the rest of the day.
"I need to talk to you." If Hermione hadn't felt Draco push past her back, she would have thought she was crazy.
So, instead of heading away from the dungeons, Hermione lingered outside until Draco came sweeping out, and pulled her along to a secluded corridor and then into an abandoned classroom.
"What do you want now?" She crossed her arms, more annoyed than anything else.
He smirked at her. "I'm sure you don't want Potty and the Weasel to know you're seeing me behind their backs so I thought we should at least take the necessary precautions that we aren't seen together too often. "
"His name is Harry, Draco. Really." Hermione huffed. "I agree, though. It would be bad for you to be seen getting study advice from a Mudblood."
"Don't call yourself that!" He snapped at her.
Hermione scrunched her nose. "Why not? You've called me that since we were eleven."
A conflict passed over his face. "I don't want to believe that anymore, okay? I don't give a bloody damn what my father thinks. No one with bad blood could be such a bloody good witch."
"What happened to you?" Surprise was evident in her voice.
Draco turned his back to her. "A summer that no human should ever experience."
"What does that mean?" She drew back, slightly.
"Wouldn't you like to know, and run off and tell Potter that you have a big secret about me?"
"Draco," Hermione turned to face him, "You know that I wouldn't do that. As you say, damn Gryffindor loyalty."
Draco shook his head. Hermione could see his hands shaking. "I don't... I can't talk about that. It's dangerous enough just being civil to you. My father…"
Hermione laid a hand on his shoulder, and felt as he took an intake of air, no doubt forcing himself to calm down.
"There's too much for you to even understand. I'm just here so I can pass my classes. Speaking of which, you still haven't named your price."
"Friends."
"What?"
Hermione gave a soft smile. "I want to be your friend Draco. I know I have Harry and Ron but neither of them have the intellect. You are a nice conversationalist when you are being a bigot. I want us to be civil to each other."
"Civil. I can do civil."
HPHPHPHP
"Hermione?" Harry looked over at Ron and Ginny, and beckoned towards the door. She was standing at the portrait hole, staring at her watch in deep thought.
"'Mione, where are you going?" Ron's voice pulled her from her thoughts. She was wearing a sweater and about to leave the portrait hole.
"Really Ronald, I was just about to go to the library. We have an essay due in Transfiguration on Thursday." She left it at that, but she swore she heard Ron mumble something about her disappearing.
"Did you think that was weird?" Ron looked at his sister and Harry.
Harry shrugged, "You know Hermione. She obsesses before tests."
"You don't take you owls for ages though, Harry." Ginny butted in. She was sitting on the floor in front of them. "This isn't really like her. I'd say she hasn't been the same since we came back from vacation last summer."
"Maybe we should just let her be. She'll tell us if she needs us." Harry insisted. "Hermione's a strong girl. She doesn't need us trying to nanny her."
"I'm still worried about her. She's had a lot of rounds in the dungeons lately." Ron paused. "You don't think… that bunch wouldn't imperio her would they?"
"Your barmy, Ron. She's stronger than that. Besides, you can tell when some one's under the curse."
He nodded, glancing as Ginny rested against Harry's legs. "I s'pose you're right. She'd hex us if we started to get after her."
HPHPHPHP
It was very early in December, and Hermione had been disappearing once or twice a week to go 'study'. Of course that was the truth. Hermione didn't like to lie. She just did not tell her friends what they didn't need to know. Draco was her friend, but that wouldn't go over well.
The whole deal was working out much better than she thought it would. Draco paid attention to when she spoke and he could hold a decent conversation when he wasn't being an arse. Hermione felt her pocket, making sure her items were still there. With Umbridge's new order it was getting harder and harder to schedule meetings with Draco.
"Draco?" Hermione whispered. She was standing in an abandoned corridor, waiting for the taller blond.
"Right here." He stepped out of a shadow, and for the first time Hermione noticed how attractive his high cheeks bones were. She also noticed how his eyes seemed to pierce her very core. She shook her head. Draco Malfoy was not attractive to her.
She had to tear her eyes away from him. "It's nice to see that you're in good health."
"I would say the same to you, but it may destroy my image as an arse." He smiled at her.
"Of course, because Draco Malfoy can't been seen as a nice person by anyone." Hermione rolled her eyes, settling comfortably against the wall by him.
"That's right."
The soft padding of feet began to echo down the corridor they were in.
"Who's there?" Filch's gruff voice caused Hermione to mentally panic.
Draco grabbed her arm, and in moments they were shoved together in a broom closet, barely big enough to fit both of their bodies. Hermione wondered if he could hear how fast her heart was pounding. Her head was pressed against his chest, and she could do nothing but take in his scent. It was a manly cologne that made her head swirl. Or maybe it was the fact that his arms were around her, pulling her body flush against hers. Or maybe it was the thoughts of touching his skin that had to be fit and soft because he was Draco Malfoy and who would expect anything less of him?
Then, the only thing she could think of was his grey eyes staring into her soul and finding her the most beautiful thing on earth before he kissed her with a vigor she had never felt. Before the fantasy could play out, he was tugging her out of the broom closet as if nothing had affected him at all.
A faint blush tore across her cheeks. "I know a safer place that we can meet without being seen."
He nodded. "Lead the way, Granger."
Hermione gingerly took his hand and led him around a few corridors, then back tracked twice. A door revealed itself to them.
"What in Merlin's bloody name did you do?" Draco asked in astonishment as Hermione pulled him inside.
She laughed as the door closed. "It's the Room of Requirements. It appears to those who need a place to go. We discovered it when…" Hermione paused. "That's not important. But whatever you need it appears as."
"Brilliant." He scanned the room, which consisted of a small library and a host of comfortable looking seats, paired with tables.
They quickly became comfortable. Hermione had just finished pulling books of several different subjects out when she noticed Draco staring at her.
"Something's bothering you."
"No, nothing is, really." Hermione pushed her charms book open, and ran her hand through her hair. She wondered if he could hear her thoughts. She hoped not, because all of them were about her wanting to kiss the idiotic blond.
"You're an idiot if you think that I believe you for even a second."
"Of course you'd see right through it. You're smarter than that." A sad smile passed her lips.
"You're avoiding the subject." Draco circled the table and sat down the chair next to her. He could see the conflict welling up in her expression.
She huffed. "Okay, okay. I'm honestly just feeling lonely, it's silly. Except when I'm with you, though. Like I said it's silly."
"That's not silly at all, Hermione. Your friends are rather-"
"If you value your bits I wouldn't insult them."
"Fine," He chuckled. "I'm just telling you that it's normal, and I feel the same way. My only real friend is Blaise…"
"I don't really trust you, you know." Hermione stated.
"I know."
Draco pulled out his essay, which was completed. They swapped papers and began making edits and revising different parts. Hermione found that she loved revising his work. It was much more thoughtful that Ron or Harry's ever were. She longed for their company like they used to give her. They rarely spent much time together that wasn't revising homework.
It was different that Draco's company. He was intelligent and she wanted nothing more than to snog him. She couldn't dare tell Harry or Ron that. This was the first real secret she had to keep from the two.
It was an hour or so before curfew when Hermione leaned back in her chair with a big yawn. Her eyes were starting to get heavy, too.
"Let's call it a night." Draco suggested, already helping her put away all of the miscellaneous papers and books she had dragged out across the table.
"Oh!" Suddenly she seemed to perk up. Hermione began fishing something out of her pocket, and placed it in his hand. "These have the protean charm on them. You just have to activate it and tell me when to meet up, and vice versa. They heat up when activated!"
"Have I ever told you that you're bloody brilliant?"
"Maybe once." Hermione giggled. "Good night, Malfoy."
"Stop!" Hermione jumped from the fierceness of his tone.
Draco stood up, leaning over the table. He was quite menacing with his height and all. "You called me Draco earlier, in the hall."
Hermione felt her heart leap in her chest, and her stomach turned. "Do you want me to call you Draco then?"
"Yes."
A wide smile crossed her face. "Then you have to call me Hermione."