Author's Note: Long time no see! I've been thinking and decided to post this chapter as a starting point for the new Le Ascension de Mysterion that I hinted at in the update yesterday. Think of this as a soft reboot of the original story (sort of like a Justice League Unlimited to the original Justice League so there are things that I liked that I'm gonna keep from the original here) that patches up some continuity errors in the original and actually establishes a storyline with an actual driving point. Hopefully, this carries on when I keep writing, and when we get to see how the boys and most importantly Mysterion are introduced to the world of Miraculous.
South Park Community High School
PC Principal slammed the stack of papers that was somehow always conveniently next to him, snorting a frustrated breath of politically correct anger every time it hit the wooden desk. Mr. Mackey, the high school counselor was standing behind him with a worried look, probably trying to get himself away from what was about to happen as much as he could
"You four boys have already driven the name of South Park High through the mud on our first away game of the year!" Upon remembering the fateful Friday night, Cartman chuckled only for Kyle to aggressively but him in the shoulder.
That Friday night was the football game between the South Park Cows and the Mighty Mountain Lions, the biggest high school football game in metropolitan Denver and perhaps the entire state. While Stan himself was already on the sophomore football team and would've been the last person to ever be involved with such a heinous deed, the four boys- well, mostly Cartman and Kenny -were all in it. Betting fifty dollars with Craig's gang that they could get camera footage of the senior cheerleaders changing, they sure as hell weren't going to lose half a hundred dollars.
Kyle was the one responsible with planning where the cameras were going to be located, ensuring that every angle possible would be captured while also still being discreet, while Kenny himself was the one who actually placed the cameras in the locker rooms (and snatching a bra or two) while an angrily racist Cartman served as the perfect distraction. while Stan himself wasn't a part of the main plan, he was the one who signaled for the whole thing to start and end from the football pitch. They not only got the footage and the fifty bucks from an awestruck Craig (which was well spent on more Arkham Knight DLC's and some private memberships) they made even more money getting the footage around the school until a freshman who's sister was the cheer captain threatened to beat up Butters unless he snitched on who owned the footage.
"It wasn't our fault, sir," Kenny mumbled out of his mouth, which was mostly muffled by the orange scarf that covered half of his face. out of the four boys, he enjoyed the footage the most.
"You know what you did, McCormick! Those girls were going out there to show their school spirit, not knowing that you four straight white males were going to defile them and touch yourselves to it!" PC Principal became even more pissed with every word he said. even Mr. Mackey was starting to get worried. He tensed up and made a noise of disgust, probably thinking about his self-righteousness in the process.
"You need to calm down, m'kay-" PC Principal shoved the counselor away, sending him slamming onto a bookshelf and onto the floor.
"That's it! I'm done with you four junior Weinsteins! I can't even think about how those poor girls feel about this! You all just got yourselves a two week out of school suspension!" Upon hearing the news, Kyle and Stan looked to one another in shock, one not wanting to ruin a squeaky clean perfect record while the other a spot on the acclaimed football team, Cartman slumped onto his chair and rolled his eyes. To him, a two-week suspension was what a stern warning from a hated teacher was to a rambunctious freshman: nothing. Now that he was out of class, he could finally finish Arkham Knight and not have to worry about algebra.
"DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE IT TWO MORE WEEKS, YOU FAT LITTLE-" But before PC Principal could lunge towards Cartman, Mr. Mackey was able to somehow grab a man who was undoubtedly double his size and push him onto his chair, where he crossed his arms and grunted.
"We all need to calm down, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey then walked back.
"We know what you did was terribly bad and needs to be punished, m'kay, but we also have another alternative for you instead of a suspension, m'kay?" He walked up to the principal's desk and grabbed a few sheets of paper, which he passed out to the four boys. "One of our international partner schools, Collège Françoise DuPont over in Paris has offered to take in a couple exchange students for a week or two, and now we've got the perfect opportunity here, m'kay? If you boys decide to do this program, you won't have a suspension on your school record but instead, an accolade that could help you get into any college you want, m'kay?"
He eyed Kenny, who he knew wasn't going to easily be able to pay for a thousand dollar ticket to Paris here and back just like that. "The school will be covering all expenses since this is an elite school, so you all better be on your best behavior, m'kay? But of course bring your own money for things you want, m'kay?"
He looked over at PC Principal, who was still slouched and cross-armed. He definitely wasn't happy about not getting the satisfactory "win" over the straight white males as he hoped for. "After your done with the trip, you're expected to write a one page paper about how being enriched with the French multiracial culture has challenged your perspective and how you will change for the better. You understand?"
The four nodded, and the school bell rang as the shuffling of students and echoes of pushing in chairs including those of the four boys could be heard throughout the building. "We've given you four time to think about this, but you better be ready by the end of the week, m'kay?" The four boys then shuffled out of the principal's office.
"There's no way I'm not doing this. If my mom found out I got suspended for two weeks, she's going to fucking kill me!" The last thing Kyle and almost anyone in South Park, Colorado wanted to encounter was a pissed off Sheila Broflovski, especially one in the South Park PTA. but hearing about how her dear son was eligible for an overseas exchange program without any context would surely make her proud of her bubba and the talk of South Park e-moms.
"Relax, dude. I don't think the football team wants a kid that got suspended over cheerleaders anyways," Stan added.
Listening in on the conversation, Cartman chuckled. "You guys are actually going to do this shit? You guys do know that this is going to be a giant fucking waste of time where we're gonna be stuck going to a school in a place we know absolutely nothing about with a bunch of rich baguette fuckers, right?"
"Shut up, Cartman! Weren't you the one who got us into this shit anyway?" Stan countered.
"Nuh-uh! Why aren't you assholes yelling at Kenny, too? He was in it as much as I was!"
Kenny rolled his eyes. "Maybe 'cause I didn't brag about it to everyone who asked about who got the footage, you tub of fucking lard!" If Cartman was able to get a shirt that proudly boasted about how he was the executive producer of the whole thing, he'd proudly wear it to the end of eternity, or when his high-cholesterol diet wouldn't let him fit in even XL. Even if their involvement was pushed under the rug as much as possible, Cartman would cheekily go out of his way to brag about how he was involved with the whole process to as many people who he found trustable as possible.
"I don't even know why you're even worrying about this trip, dude. With the money your family has, you wouldn't even be able to sit in the cargo hold!"
"Were you not even listening, you fucking dumbass?" Kyle countered. "He literally said the school was covering the entire thing including the trip to and from unless the only seats on the plane that's able to fit your fatass are in the first class!" The three boys began to laugh and while Cartman didn't seem to be phased on the outside, he was cooking up like the microwave chicken tenders that he made so often.
He snapped. "Shut up, you cheeky assholes! I bet you're gonna Jew us by sucking the principal's dick or having your mom beg your way out of the suspension like you do all the time!" When the other kids who were at their lockers turned to see what was happening, they went back to what they were doing once they saw it was the neighborhood fatass.
"Doesn't your mom do that literally all of the time?" Kenny asked.
"Yeah, dude. Everyone and their grandma knows that your mom was and still is a dirty slut!" Stan cheekily added.
"At least my mom actually makes enough money for the both of us and we don't have to live in a shit shack! Right, Kenny?" He looked over to the blonde for a reaction, but the joke didn't seem to phase him. About every poor joke, you could think of, Kenny's heard it probably ten times more. He turned back to Stan and Kyle probably disappointed that Kenny didn't give him the reaction that he wanted. "Whatever, if you guys are doing this shit I guess I have to too, but I swear to fucking god I'll kill myself if I get any classes with Kyle."