Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters they belong solely to J. K. Rowling an amazing writer. Truly brilliant. I only have the honor of playing with them for this story and hopefully others. Please read the real story of Harry Potter from J. K. Rowling's amazing books. For they are truly worth every read. I have read them so many times I have lost count.
Summery: This scene takes place at the beginning of Prisoner of Azkaban. It is a series of recollections from Severus's POV.
Authors Note: Right now it's just a one shot. I'm not sure if I'll turn it into a story. I'll let you wonderful readers help me decide on that. If you would like to see more on this story then please let me know via Review, PM or you can simply Follow the story if you do not wish to leave a review. I ask only that you do not flame.
I am still looking for a Beta Reader. So if anyone is interested please PM me.
Warnings: Deals with themes of a more mature nature. Such as mentions of: near death experiences. Abuse of a child. Self harm. Rated T to be safe.
Severus leaned back in his seat. His long black robes pooled around him on the black draonghide sofa in his secret home. His long black hair curtaining his features. His dark black obsidian eyes gazing absently into the fire. The tea on the table next to himself forgotten. Curled up on his lap is a child much too small to be of his age. The boy on his lap was twelve years old. Of slight build and definitely malnourished. The jet black hair was shorter then his by much and stuck out in every direction. Unruly and untameable. Round glasses had slid down his nose. Vibrant green eyes lay hidden behind the close eyelids. The soft rhythmic rise and fall of the child chest even in sleep. Severus's long arm was draped protectively around the child and even in sleep the boy clung to his shirt. Bunching the material of his black over robes in tight little fists. The boy's face was leaning against his shoulder and the barest hint of wetness could still be seen on the black fabric where the boy had cried moments earlier. Staring into the flames of the fire Severus couldn't help but to think back on the moment when this had all started. When he found himself holding a far too tiny child for the first time in his life.
Severus was pacing the headmaster office. While Albus looked concerned and worried. Trying to figure out something. Anything really. That would help him understand what had Albus so concerned. He had been called into the headmasters office a mere ten minutes ago, all that Albus had done was tell him to wait that all would become clear in time. Well Severus was growing frustrated. He was just about to speak after another dozen laps of the office when the Phoenix gaze a loud screech and flew to Albus. Having only now just reappeared in his office.
"It is time Severus," Albus called out looking up at Fawkes. Severus turned back to him. Crossing to his side in moments. He caste a look at Albus. But took the man's offered hand. Holding it tightly.
The next thing Severus knew he was feeling a rush of warm air. A far too dizzying turning sensation and then falling far too rapidly. Barely managing to land with dignity as he collided with a bone littered floor and his knees jared painfully. He could not suppress the faint gasp of pain however. Severus shook his head to clear it and looked over to where Harry crouched near Ginny. His hand having dropped a book with a long fang imbedded in it's cover. Blood had pooled around both children. The unmistakable aroma made Severus's stomach clench. The sight of the dead basilisk made his worry intensified and before he realized it he was almost running towards the boy.
"Potter!" He called as he stopped and knelt next to the boy. "Are you hurt?"
"N-no sir, Fawkes healed m-me," the boy replied dazed. "He's gone now. Is she going to be ok?" Harry asked Severus. Not even caring that his least favourite professor was the one looking at him with wide concerned fearful eyes.
Severus did a brief visual scan of both the girl and the boy. Finding nothing to account for all the blood he realized what the boy had said. "I am sure Madam Pomfrey will be more then capable of healing the girl. Tell me what happened. Where were you hurt?"
"H-he was here. It was him. He was controlling Ginny. He used this. He let the snake out. The basilisk. It bit me. I thought I would die. I don't want to die. I used to think I did. But I really don't want to die," Harry babbled. Tears rolling down his face. He fell forwards against Severus clinging to him weeping openly now. Fear and the aftermath of the encounter had made the boy emotional. Severus stiffened at the sudden contact. He didn't know how to respond. Tentatively and hesitantly he put an arm around the boy. Realizing the child didn't make any sense at all. He looked up at Albus who had picked up the book and was looking at it. Questioningly. There was a light of understanding in his eyes. Severus couldn't be bothered to care about the old man's foolish theories right now. He had two children who were in need of medical attention.
"Harry, can you walk?" Severus asked gently. Startling the boy by using his first name. The child nodded, but didn't let go of him. Severus frowned. Sighing he gently pulled the boy's hands from his clothing. Keeping his hand on the boy's hand to make sure the child didn't panic. "Come then, we need to get Miss Weasley to the Hospital Wing." Severus said very gently. The boy looked so lost and startled. He felt an unknown protectiveness rise up in him as he realized how small the boy looked. Far too thin. Far to small. He looked so young and scared Severus could hardly believe it was the same cheeky child he'd had in his class not even a week ago. There was such vulnerability in those large green eyes that Severus felt as if he needed to protect the boy. It was like seeing Lily. He'd never seen those emotions in Lily's eyes before and he never wanted to see them again. They ate at him.
Standing up again he bent down and lifted the girl into his arms. Cradling her against his chest on his hip. One hand wrapped securely around her. The other holding onto Harry's hand firmly. "Are there anyone else down here with you Harry? Mister Weasley perhaps?"
"Ron's with Lockhart at the entrance," Harry whispered pushing into Severus's side. Clinging not only to his hand, but also to his robe tightly. Not letting him go. Severus gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Headmaster can you see to getting Weasley and Lockhart?" Severus inquired.
"Of course. How will you get Harry and Ginny to the hospital wing Severus? Might as well come with us?" Albus said absently.
"I can fly without a broom Albus, surely you haven't forgotten that?" Severus said darkly.
"I'm afraid I had my boy. Yes yes I'll see to Ron and Gilderoy," Albus said clapping his hands together and moving off towards the entrance. Severus shook his head. He always did wonder if Albus was actually addled minded. Or if he simply chose to act a little insane.
Severus took a few quick strides. Gathered Harry close to his side with a tight protective hold and took off. His body becoming a smokey black trail as he flew up through the entrance and down the deserted hall. Landing them all just outside the infirmary. His arm steading a disoriented Harry. Ginny hadn't woken. The energy drain was greater then he expected and he staggered having to let go of Harry to grab the wall to regain his balance.
They must have made a loud noise before next thing he knew Madam Pomfrey was standing at the open doorway gaping at him. "Severus what happened? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine Poppy, Potter and Weasley however are not, Albus will be bringing the Weasley boy and Lockhart," Severus said pushing past her and into the infirmary. Ginny though small was starting to get heavy for his much too tired arms. He had to put his arm back around Harry to coax the child to move again. Slowly walking him into the infirmary. Setting Ginny down on a bed and then lifting Harry onto the other one. The child was in shock. Severus slumped down into a chair barely gathering his breath back when Albus entered the room leading a tired looking Ron and a confused and dazed looking Lockhart.
It didn't take Poppy long to do her diagnostic. Severus was however, quite concerned for Potter who had yet to release his hand. He could of course have forced the child, but the raw fear and uncertainty in the boy's gaze made him hesitate to do such. Although he really wished nothing more then to go to his bed. Flying as the Death Eaters did, was not overly complicated, but it was advanced and draining magic. Most couldn't do it. For that reason. It took a powerful and determined wizard to achieve it. There were some Death Eaters who could not do it. Those never made it past the outer circle. How could they. They lacked the discipline and the power to do so. Severus had just shown two students and one idiot exactly what he was. He did not consider the Weasley girl to have noticed anything. She wouldn't regain consciousness for a while. Harry and Ron however had definitely seen him. He couldn't help but wonder if they actually knew what he'd done. Did they know it was an obscure branch of magic that was now mostly associated with Death Eaters since the first war? Harry wouldn't, he was fairly certain of that. The Weasley child however, he wasn't so sure. His family would have known that for sure. However, Severus had to wonder, how much had Arthur and Molly told their children about those times?
Severus was beginning to drift off when he heard someone calling his name. Blinking his tired eyes open he looked up into Poppy's concerned face. Sighing he raised one quizzical brow at her.
"You look exhausted Severus, are you sure you're well?" Poppy asked kindly.
"I am fine," Severus responded calmly. In his typical cold baritone. Flying on his own wasn't usually this draining, but to have to extend his magic to accommodate Harry and Ginny had been. Even for so short a time. He was drained, both Magically and Physically. Between everything he'd done today. That last bit of advanced magic had just done him in. He'd had a lot of work in the early hours of the morning before classes had started making potions for Poppy. Working on a potion requested by the headmaster. His batches of Healing Potions had been extended beyond what he usually made for the Hospital Wing as he'd gotten an owl from St. Mungos requesting some as well. Though he did not work for St. Mungos anymore, he did often find himself filling requests. Usually for far more complicated potions. Though when they were tight on time they seemed to turn to him for some reason. He had given up trying to understand it. Though having done his apprenticeship there and working as their Potions Master for a number of years Severus was not very surprised to hear from them. They had been sad to see him go.
During his time at St. Mungos he'd mostly worked as their poison expert. Creating cures and antidotes to various unknown poisons and many known ones. It had been rewarding work. He still enjoyed visiting the ward during the summers to assist when he had free time. Which was becoming less and less often. Though he was still often contacted by the healers to assist in the creation of some of the trickier antidotes. He knew the main healer from that ward well, the man was somewhat a friend. It wasn't as though he was the only one who could do it. He figured it was just Robinson's way of saying that he missed his talents. St. Mungos had a team of portioners that worked for them. Why they still felt the need to contact him for basic potions from time to time always surprised him. He could remember asking Robinson that himself, his answer had been an odd one. Rather confusing to Severus. 'There is something that you do that has a greater affect then regular potions, no one can seem to figure it out.' That left Severus thinking. He'd been puzzling away at it since the summer.
Severus wondered if maybe it wasn't time to write another journal. This time on basic healing potions. Maybe if he broke apart his formula and the slight modifications he'd made over the years. Maybe then he would find out why his potions proved a little more effective then common ones. It was an interesting concept to the man. Blinking at his unusual train of thoughts Severus pulled out of his thoughts at the next words spoken to him.
"SEVERUS!" Came Minerva's annoyed half shouted shrill call of his name.
"What?" Severus demanded angrily.
"Are you alright?" Minerva asked concerned.
"Why does everyone feel the need to ask me that? I am FINE," Severus grumbled disgruntled at the repetition of the question.
"I've been calling your name for five minutes and you didn't even react! You are NOT fine!" Minerva stated bluntly. Severus looked at her with one raised brow. Now that was interesting. For that matter he didn't remember her walking in here.
"Oh he spaced out even before I finished talking with him Minerva, don't pay much attention to it," Poppy said walking over after having check on Ron. "You," she started pointing at Severus. "Are going to get out of that chair and into that bed right there and don't you dare argue with me!"
"I cannot," Severus responded and as explanation raised his hand which now had two very small hands wrapped so tightly over his that it reminded him of a Grindylow.
"Ummm," Poppy hummed. "Well that certainly explains why you've remained in the Hospital Wing this long. Minerva if you would?"
"Not a problem Poppy," Minerva responded. Flicked her wand at Severus's chair and transfigured it into a comfortable armchair complete with a foot rest. Severus gave a half smile. Lifted his legs up and was all too happy to recline back in the seat and close his eyes. His arm still resting on the side of the bed. Where it had been since he'd gotten Potter into the bed and sat down. Minerva looked at her tired colleague and gave a small smile. "I'm surprised you're letting him hold you like that."
"I hardly had a say in the matter. Regardless I'm not so much of a bastard that I would cause a traumatized child more discomfort by removing myself from their grasps. It is clear to me that Potter finds some form of comfort in clinging to me so desperately. It will do no harm to allow it," Severus stated simply. Surprising even himself with his words. Evidently it was not the answer Minerva was expecting because she gasped open mouthed at him. Severus sigh. Really did they think so low of him? He felt a pang of hurt in his chest that they would think him that much of a bastard. He didn't let it show on his face as he quickly occluded the feelings. Instead focusing his dark gaze on Minerva with narrowed cold eyes.
"Severus, dear boy, you will never cease to amaze me," Dumbledore declared proudly. Stepping over to them. Severus looked from Minerva to the old man and was at a loss for what to say. Why was it such a surprise that he would allow a child to hold his hand? Why did they all think he was such an evil man? This time however, he didn't hide the hurt he felt as he glared openly at Dumbledore.
"Oh Severus, we didn't mean it like that!" Minerva said quickly. Catching the look he had passed to the headmaster.
"No it's quite clear how you both see me. Not that it is any of your concern, I will have you know that I would never hurt a child. Nor would I allow any undo harm to come to them. That includes your lions Minerva. Regardless what you think of me, I am not the bastard you all appear to think I am," With that Severus closed his eyes and leaned further back into the armchair. He was determined not to rise to their verbal quarries of him again. He was already embarrassed by his current show of outrage and hurt. Since when had he become emotional?
"Severus, dear boy, calm yourself. None of us believe you to be a bastard at all. Nor do any of use think you'd ever hurt a child intentionally. It is simply surprising that you would allow Harry to touch you, after the hatred you've show the boy." Dumbledore said gently. Trying to clam the evidently distraught man. Severus didn't know why he felt anything at all to the words. However, he did. Remorse and regret seemed to pool inside him along with the guilt and hurt. Why was he so emotional now?
Keeping his eyes closed it took a lot of focus to occlude his mind solidly. To force everything away. Until nothing but calm emptiness remained. Finally satisfied that he was in control and his blank mask back in place he opened his eyes. Blinked a few times to get everything back into focus and regarded them.
"Is there anything important you wished to discus with me Headmaster?" Severus inquired. Rather then responding to their words.
"As a matter of fact there is. I wish you to tell Poppy what is wrong, or allow her to do a scan on you. We are concerned for you, dear boy," Dumbledore said kindly. Smiling down at him. Severus glared intently.
"There. Is. Nothing. Wrong. With. Me," Severus said. Each word clipped and cold. Determined to get the point across. "I'm perfectly fine."
"Then why are you pale and clammy?" Minerva asked raising one eyebrow at him.
"If you must know, I have been up since 2am this morning brewing potions for both Poppy and St. Mungos. I have taught two double potions classes today and over saw a test in my third potions class. Following that I was dragged into the Chamber of Secrets to assist the Headmaster in retrieving the students who'd gone down there. Miss Weasley and Mister Potter were badly in need of medical attention and the climb out of the chamber would have been impossible for them. Performing the advanced magic required to get two children from that chamber to the hospital wing is quite draining. Especially after a long day with very little time to rest. I am simply exhausted and require a little rest. Does that answer your questions?" Severus said in a cold dark voice. He was frankly annoyed now.
"You flew them out?" Minerva asked aghast finally catching on.
"Yes," Severus said.
"All the way here?" Minerva continued on. "Several floors away from the Chamber?"
"Yes," was Severus's clipped response.
"Two children?" Minerva pressed. Clearly annoying Severus with her incredulity.
"Yes Minerva. I flew two children from the Chamber to the Hospital Wing without stopping. Now are you done asking rudimentary questions?" Severus all but growled.
"How?" Minerva continued none the less with her questions. Severus gave an exasperated sigh.
"As they were held tightly to me. Miss Weasley in my arms and Mister Potter pressed tightly to my side. I was able to extend the field of magic that encompasses me when I perform the spell. It is far harder and requires far greater focus and concentration in order to maintain the spell, but it is quite possible to do," Severus explained. Clearly he wouldn't get to rest until he had.
"You used a Death Eater spell inside the school? Where anyone could have seen?" Minerva said her voice rising in pitch.
"Minerva clam yourself. There was no chance that anyone besides Potter, Weasley and Lockhart would see me. The children are all locked into their Houses if their Heads of House did their job properly. The staff already know what I was. Who was there to find out?" Severus inquired. His voice was so cold and deadly that Minerva flinched slightly.
"Severus, you could have been seriously hurt doing that. You could have hurt the children!" Minerva pressed.
"Hardly. You do not correctly understand this branch of magic Minerva. Believe me when I say, I would not have hurt the children in my care. Now if you are quite done scolding me and there is nothing else to discuss I would like to rest," Severus growled out.
"And what about you? How great was the risk that you injured yourself?" Minerva pressed annoyed at the irritating man.
"As it did not happen I hardly see how that is of your concern?" Severus responded coldly.
"Now Now Severus, there is no reason to get so testy with Minerva," Dumbledore chastised gently.
"Enough of this, the man needs rest, so do the children," Poppy said sternly. Having finished with Lockhart and Ron. Both were now peacefully sleeping. Harry wasn't asleep, but he wasn't paying attention to anyone or anything. He was staring at a spot on the far wall. Clinging almost desperately to Severus's arm.
"We'll come back tomorrow Severus," Dumbledore said. Turning to Minerva he smiled and said, "come Minerva, lets go to my office." With that he put his arm around the witch and began leading her out of the Hospital Wing. Severus leaned back again into his seat. Almost succeeding in falling asleep.
"Get him to drink this Severus if you would be so kind," Poppy said handing him a vial of Dreamless Sleep after many attempts to get Potter to drink it. Only the boy didn't seem to respond to her.
"Potter," Severus called. Turning to the child. Taking the vial from Poppy. "Potter look at me," Severus went on when the boy just kept on staring. "Harry," Severus finally called out a little louder. The boy jumped and looked at him. "Good. Now drink this," Severus said holding the vial to the boy's lips. Pleased when the boy did as told. Handing the empty vial to Poppy. He settled back down and allowed his eyes to close. He would have been already falling asleep but Poppy's voice called him back.
"Severus, don't sleep yet, I want you to take this. So you'll at least sleep a full night," Poppy said. A little sadness drifting into her voice. How well she knew he never slept a full night anymore. The nightmares were always there. Just bellow the surface. With a weary sigh he took the vial of Dreamless Sleep she offered him and drank it down quickly. Handing her the empty vial he let the world fade away. Succumbing to the welcomed darkness.
A small smile curved his lips. He could still not believe how that one small moment had changed everything. Here he was a month into summer with Potter sleeping in his arms. How ironic really. He had started out hating the boy because of how close the resemblance to James Potter had been. Of course he felt horrible at being so petty. To have ignored the very real signs of a neglected child. Now however, he knew better. So here he was as the guardian for this child. How all that had come to pass in a month and a half since that fateful night in the Chamber of Secrets, Severus just couldn't really figure it out. He knew Dumbledore had something to do with it. He looked down again at the sleeping child and wondered, how much like his mother he really was. He had her kind heart. Her forgiving nature, if only Lily had been able to forgive him his own stupidity like her son was. He felt that all too familiar ache. If only.
A new and very real problem faced him now. How would he prevent Lucius from discovering that he had custody of Harry. Lucius and he were such good and close friends. Severus didn't know how he would manage to keep his friendship and hide his new guardianship. With a tired sigh Severus wondered how much more lonely he would be without Lucius's friendship. He had barely anyone he trusted. To loose another. He did not think he could bear it. Lucius had been there for him when he'd lost Lily. When the Headmaster had forced him to accept that he must protect her son.
He could still remember when Lucius found him. He still bore the scars across the Dark Mark from that time. Lucius had kept an annoyingly close eye on him after that. Though in a short time their already tight friendship had become solid. Lucius knew his true allegiance, but would never betray him. Severus was certain of this. Lucius though he still believed in much of the Dark Lord's cause, was becoming disillusioned with his methods. Severus wondered what would he really do if he found out Severus had Potter as his ward? Would he really accept the boy. Or would he let his fears swallow him. If Only he knew.