Chapter One – At the Bottom of Everything

Ever since the day Sam left the island to go back to New York, Donna always found herself thinking about him.

A day-old Sophie was bundled up in a pale purple blanket decorated with polka dots that were a darker shade of purple. There was hardly any hair on the newborn's head, and if there was, it was a blondish brown that had small little curls. Donna stared into her newborn daughter's sea blue eyes, thinking of how much they looked like the sparking ocean that was now rippling in waves. The sound of waves crashing along the shoreline soothed Sophie, calming her and calming the mother as well. Alone and lost in her thoughts, Donna started to feed Sophie and winced at the pain as Sophie's mouth latched onto a nipple.

"I love you so much already, baby." Donna smiled while trying to find a hint of one of the men in her daughter. Sam. Bill. Harry. Donna spoke to herself softly, not wanting Sophie to start fussing. There were hardly any signs of Harry. There were few signs of Bill, and only one sign of Sam, and Donna's heart ached at the thought of him.

She imagined him standing next to her and it was almost as if he was there, speaking to her in that low, gruff voice of his. A tear plopped onto Sophie's forehead and Donna used one hand to wipe it off and then wipe her own face. Donna hated him. She hated him for what he did to her, but she also loved him so much, and that was the worst part. The fantasy got a little too real, scaring Donna. She could've sworn, she heard his voice saying, "We did good, Sheridan."

But the only ones in the room were Donna and her newborn daughter. Donna pushed those feelings aside a few minutes after. There was no longer any time to think about the men that had come and gone, especially the one that stomped her heart into small little pieces. She had someone to take care of now, and one look at Sophie's small baby face, and her heart was healed again. The hole had been filled and Sophie had saved her.

While she rested her head against the headboard of the bed, Donna remember that she would never have Sam Carmichael.

When Sophie was five, she started school. Donna had started working on getting a hotel up and running, building off the farmhouse Sofia owned. She'd done it with Sam's sketches and Sofia's help and support. While the mother was busy, Sofia would watch Sophie and often take her to the bar she worked at while Lazaros performed with his band. Sophie would sit at one of the tables near the bar, coloring into a coloring book she'd gotten as a gift from Tanya and Rosie. Lazaros would tell jokes into the microphone to make Sophie laugh, and laugh she did.

One day, Sophie returned from school and went to the bar with Sofia. This time, the five-year-old wasn't interested in coloring. Donna was there doing paper work, so the child chatted with her mother while snacking on some fruit bought from the market on the island. Donna was amid taking a sip of her tea when Sophie asked, "Mommy, where's my Daddy?"

The question caused Donna to spit out the tea and start coughing like a maniac, caught off guard by the innocent question coming from her daughter. Sofia paused from her spot at the bar and saw the mother looking at her desperately, silently asking for a way out of this. She didn't know what to tell Sophie; Donna thought she was too young to know about her mother's wild days here on the island, and the men that came and went when the young child was conceived. Donna asked, "What – where's this coming from, Soph?"

"Almost everyone at my school has a Daddy, but I don't. Where is he?"

"Oh, Soph. I-"

"Sophie, come look at this new guitar I bought." Lazaros spoke from the stage, rescuing Donna. He'd hardly knew what had happened in Donna's life, but he could see the look she gave Sofia and knew that she somehow needed some more time to think about the situation. Sophie completely forgot about the question she'd asked and jumped down from the chair, running over to the stage as Lazaros showed her the instrument. Donna got up from her own chair and rushed over to Sofia, silently thanking Lazaros.

Sofia rested a gentle hand on Donna's arm. "Tell her when you feel like the time is right. She'll understand – the kid loves you too much."

"Sofia, what if I made a mistake in not telling her sooner?"

"She's only five – she'll never remember you dodging the question, and who knows? She might not even ask again until later in life. There's nothing to worry about."

Donna looked at the stage and watched the scene playing out before her. She stood there for a couple of minutes, marveling at Sophie's excitement as Lazaros let her play around with the new guitar, until she returned to doing the paperwork. Her heart broke once more. She remembered once again that she would never have Sam Carmichael.

Sophie was ten when she asked again.

The hotel was just now starting to get off the ground, and it was the holiday season. She took notice of the many families that came to check in. Fathers rolled the suitcases up to the front desk, some while also carrying their small children who were too tired to walk. It made her wonder about her own father once more, and so she set off to find Donna. The woman was up in her room retouching up her makeup. Sophie knocked on the door as she walked in. "Hey, Mom. Can I ask you a question?"

"Always, sweets."

"Where's my dad?" The one question Donna still hadn't thought about. She didn't want to think about it, but it wasn't fair to Sophie for her to constantly avoid that one question that had been remaining in Donna's mind since the day she found out she was expecting Sophie. Donna applied the last of her mascara on before turning to look at Sophie. There was no out this time. "I don't like the look on your face. Why do you look so sad, Mom?"

The expression on her mother's face made Sophie regret asking. Sophie could tell that things hadn't ended well between her parents by the look of sorrow Donna was giving her. Donna could tell, and the mother reassured her that everything was fine. They sat on the edge of the bed and Donna took one of Sophie's hands in hers. "If you really want to know, then I will tell you."

"I really want to know." Sophie nodded vigorously.

"Your father and I…we had a summer romance. We'd spent a short period of time together, before he left to go off God knows where. He was gone long before I found out I was pregnant with you. There's no telling where he is."

And her heart broke telling Sophie. She realized once more that she would never have Sam Carmichael.

Sofia passed away of heart failure when Sophie was fifteen.

Both Donna and her daughter we devastated. A woman they'd known for what seemed like an eternity, the closest thing Sophie had to a grandmother, was gone from this world. Sophie become depressed and stayed in her room for a week, worrying Donna. The funeral was one a Saturday morning. The weather was the exact opposite of everyone's moon – while everyone was mourning Sofia and preparing to bury her, the weather was warm and sunny, hardly a cloud in the sky. There was a slight breeze that would cool off their sweaty necks whenever the wind blew through their hair.

After the funeral, Donna comforted Sophie and Ali and Lisa had come over to visit. While the teenager was spending time with her two best friends, to get her mind off who she had lost, Donna found herself in her bedroom, pulling out a box of photos. There were some from when Donna was pregnant with Sophie, some of Sophie growing up. Some of Sophie and her namesake. At the bottom of everything, there was a picture of Donna and Sam from back when they were together.

Donna looked at it for a few minutes, tears running down her face. Her heart was in so much pain due to Sofia dying, and now there was a reminder of Sam that she hadn't seen in a while. Her heart shattered to bits. She remembered once again that she would never have Sam Carmichael.

Sophie went rifling through boxes while helping her mother clean around the hotel. She foundry this old, worn out diary that used to be a bright shade of pink, but has darkened in age. Curiosity filled her mind, and she decided to open it on a random page. Donna's handwriting was recognizable. The letters were in half-cursive, half-print. Sophie began to read, getting lost in the pages and intrigue coursing through her bones as she got further.

July 17

What a night!

Sam rowed me over to the little island. We danced on the beach, we kissed on the beach, and…dot, dot, dot. Sam's the one, I know he is. I've never felt like this before.

Sam's been telling me how much he loves me, and now he's announced that he's engaged, so he's gone home to get married and I'm never gonna see him again.

August 4

What a night!

Bill rented a motorboat and I took him over to the little island. Though I'm still obsessed with Sam, Bill's so wild. He's such a funny guy. One thing led to another and…dot, dot, dot!

August 11

Harry turned up out the blue, so I said I'd show him the island! He's so sweet and understanding, I couldn't help it and…dot, dot, dot!

And when Sophie reached the end, she decided to do the unthinkable and invited her three possible fathers to her and Sky's wedding, hoping that this would end well, and she would finally know her father.

Donna reunited with all three of her suitors in the old goathouse, flashbacks of the past flooding her mind and the sight of Sam started to hurt her. His crooked smile, his tall stature, the sincerity in his voice and the way he looked at her opened old wounds. It took every ounce of her not to lash out at him, not to yell at him. Donna didn't want to think about the past. She hated thinking about the past when it was filled with painful memories. The only time she'd accept thinking about the past was when she was marveling at what such an amazing woman her daughter had become, and that was all.

She left the goathouse, running off in search of Sophie. She didn't know what she'd tell her daughter – all Donna knew was that she needed to find her, but she ended up coming across Rosie and Tanya. Telling them was painful, but it felt good to get it out. It made her feel even better when Tanya and Rosie showed no sign of judgement. Instead, they stood by her, ready to defend her if they needed to. That was what she loved most about them – their support, and their ability to bring humor in even the most serious of situations.

Reminding them about Sam leaving to go get married broke her heart. She remembered once again that she would never have Sam Carmichael.

The whirlwind wedding had ended hours ago.

Sophie and Sky were long gone, off on some adventure. The plan was to travel for a year or two, and then come back for a while. Donna spent the most of her night with Sam, them just being newlyweds and saying goodbye to the guests that started to leave once the reception was over and the hype of Aphrodite's fountain erupting died down. Now it was nearly four in the morning. Donna stared out the window in awe, head buried in the crook of Sam's neck and a hand resting on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat and the vibrations from his snoring

Realizing where she was, Donna smiled to herself. She looked up at her sleeping husband and marveled at the sight of him. She could get used to this. Resting her head on his chest and drifting off to a deep slumber, there was a small content smile on her face.

She could really get used to this – being here with him, having him back. There in his arms, Donna realized that she always had and will always have Sam Carmichael.

In good times, and bad.

For better, for worse.

For richer, or poorer.

In sickness and in health.

Until death do them part.

To be continued…

Hope you enjoyed! Chapter 2 coming soon. Reviews are much appreciated.