AN: for the purposes of this story there's no Henry.
Also warnings for heavy angst, domestic violence and eventual JJ/Emily romance.

-x-

JJ ducked into the restroom closest to the BAU's doors with minutes to spare before she could be considered late. She had become accustomed to rushing here on some of her busier mornings, but today was different. Today it had been worse.
She had run from the house, with nothing apart from her car keys and that left her standing in front of the bathrooms mirror, inspecting the darkening grip marks on her upper arm, as well as checking that she had finally managed to stop the blood that had been gushing from her nose the whole journey here.

Everything in her hated that this was how her life had turned out, but what could she do?
She'd stayed with him before it had become a everyday thing, when it only happened after his 'occasional' drink. She'd tolerated this, forgave him with his cheap excuses, and wilted apology flowers.
Thankfully she'd managed to push his marriage suggestions off before this got too deep, but she really didn't know how much longer she could do that for, she knew she couldn't get tied down to him, most of all since she didn't love him, she feared him.

"Jayje?" the call startled her, and she turned, making sure to keep her arm tucked tight to her, hiding the marks as best she could

"Oh, Em, hey" she forced an obviously insincere smile, which of course Emily saw straight through "do we have a case?"

Emily nodded "actually, that's why I'm here, Hotch had me check for you, he tried calling-"

JJ froze, her cell was sitting on the kitchen counter, she just hoped that Will had stormed out, possibly even following her, and missed the call "i-it's at home, I left in such a rush I forgot it"

"Well we need to get going, we're getting on the jet right away, Hotch said he'd brief us then"

JJ assured Emily she'd be finished up in a couple of minutes, and let out a sigh of relief as soon as she was left alone again. She welcomed the case because it meant she'd get a break from being at home, but then again she'd have to be constantly on guard around the team. Hiding the darts of pain her leg still gave her after last weeks incident, ensuring she didn't allow herself to flinch at Derek's touch, or at any loud noises. It was a different kind of exhausting.

She wadded up her tissue and tossed it into the trash before hurrying back out to leave with the rest of the team, she couldn't let herself be the one holding them up again.

An hour later the whole team had been briefed on the case, it wasn't anything particularly strenuous, their "typical" case, you'd say, but it was what happened after the briefing that left JJ sitting away from the others, her mind working in overdrive. Hotch had asked to speak to her on her own once they had landed, which practically left her shaking, for more than one reason.
Had Will answered the call that morning? What could he have said, or lied about that could get her in trouble professionally? Maybe Hotch had noticed the marks, wanted to call her out? How could she admit all this, putting up with it, not confronting her own abuser? That'd just make her look as weak and incompetent as she really is.

She glanced up briefly and noticed the set of dark eyes watching her, almost worried. More than anything she wanted to go and sit with Emily, but she knew she couldn't force much conversation right now, and that silence would leave an abundance of time for Emily to profile her.
Emily looked away, in a way that almost seemed reluctant to JJ, who then continued to admire the older agent.

She's so strong, so beautiful.

She had grown to accept her thoughts like these in relation to Emily a long time ago, and months had passed by with JJ admiring Emily from afar, and even imagining how much happier she'd be if she was romantically involved with Emily rather than Will.
But that was obviously some kind of reaction to how things were, right? She just wanted to feel safe and loved- and she appreciated the safety she felt with the woman- that had to be it. She'd never been attracted to women before Emily, and pinning it down to her mental instability seemed easier than trying to process it and torture herself.

Soon later they were informed the jet was landing and JJ knew she'd have to start stringing together some believable excuses to questions Hotch could potentially throw at her

"Will's just lying to you Hotch, we had a disagreement and he didn't want me to leave this morning, I'm sorry"

"Of course he isn't hurting me Aaron! How could you think I'd put up with that?" That was a good one- even if it sent a pang of guilt to her heart. She hoped it'd do the same to Hotch if she needed it to.

"JJ, you're with me" the lead agent reminded and they walked together in a tense silence to the SUV headed to the local police station. She hadn't even had time to belt up before he began

"Jennifer," he began and JJ had to control the bile that rose in her throat at the name, that was what he snarled at her in his anger

"Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer..."

"I'm hoping you'll tell me I'm just reaching here, and everything's fine, but I've had a bad feeling lately I've needed to talk out with you"

The blonde cleared her throat as subtly as possible, trying not to look startled "A bad feeling? About what?"

"About you. Over the past month I've noticed behavioral changes, and I'm sure the team have too. You're withdrawn, easily flustered- honestly JJ you seem unhappy. Is there something happening that you need some help with? Are you sick? Is everything okay at home?"

JJ felt bad, the man looked genuinely concerned for her. If she was honest with herself he probably should be, but of course that didn't help her open up. She couldn't risk her job- the only reprieve she had, by admitting everything that was happening. She couldn't risk her life. Will had beaten her so badly when she had threatened to disclose the abuse to her team, she was left in the ER claiming her fractured arm was a result of a drunken stumble.

"Aaron, thank you, I really appreciate the concern, and you're right, if I'm honest," she considered blurting it out there and then, but knew better "I have been distracted, my Dad is pretty sick and he's been in and out of hospital, Mom isn't sure how long he has"

Her excuse did actually bare some truth, her father had been in bad health later, which had just been another worry to her.

"Oh JJ, I'm so sorry- if you need to take some time and go visit, I'd understand" -yeah, like Will would let that happen.

"Thank you Sir, I'll keep that in mind"

The rest of the drive to the station had been relatively quiet, JJ's mind wandering again.

I handled that well. If only the rest of the team were as easy to lie to.

AN: So this idea got a lot of support when I mentioned I'd been considering writing it, and I hope this first chapter has done it justice.
Feedback would be much appreciated.