Ice and Fire

By Starzki

People wonder why I keep trying to find her, to rescue her. Sure, most realize that she's gorgeous and that it's not completely unheard of for a soldier to fall for a beautiful mission objective.

But once she was taken so far away and once that it was apparent that saving her might mean my life, some people couldn't understand. "But she hits you." "But she yells." "But she's so hard on you." "But she's too opinionated." "But, but, but..."

They don't understand. Kaname Chidori saved me first. I don't think it's too much to expect me to save her back.

Let me explain.

When the plane that my mother took her last breaths on went down in the icy water, I survived by turning to ice.

Yes, I was told I had mild frostbite, but I had imagined myself becoming ice from the inside out. Then, the cold couldn't recognize me. It passed me over and I survived.

The cold of the Russian "orphanage" that turned me into a killer safely encased my heart in a block of ice. I was a weapon, hard iron, without feeling.

The heat of the Middle Eastern desert only further tempered me into colder steel.

There, I knew Kalinin again. While he despaired that the boy he knew had turned so cold, he didn't fight it. He taught me to survive. He taught me to fight for the side I actually agreed with because mercenaries whose allegiances could be bought were seen as disposable by those in power. He taught me when to concede defeat to a worthy adversary and when to take revenge against a mortal enemy. He might not always have been right, but I have survived largely on his advice. He knew I was a weapon and he pointed me in the right direction.

I became marketable. I started making money. I joined Mithril and knew people I could almost call my friends.

I got a bodyguard assignment in Tokyo, Japan.

And my life changed.

Kaname Chidori was pure fire.

She saw me as a boy. She didn't believe I could protect her. I showed her who I really was. She knew I was a weapon.

And she disagreed.

She didn't say it. Instead she berated me, smacked me around, and insisted that I at least attempt to learn some social graces.

She was fire and she was trying to melt me.

Along with her frontal assault to force me to learn proper civilian behavior, she also secretly infiltrated my defenses. With the happy spark in her eyes, the heated ferocity with which she defended me and any of her friends, and the warmth of her body as it pressed against mine, she found her way to my heart. She loved me. Without question, she loved me so much it almost burned.

Within the fire of her presence, I came to see that I am not a weapon.

I am a man.

Realizing this fact has saved my life. I will no longer be a pawn in others' games of power.

I am not a weapon.

I have a specific set of skills that make me marketable as a mercenary or soldier, but I am more than that, too.

I am a man who will save Kaname Chidori.

I want her to be free once again. I want to kiss her like I promised I would. I want to ask her to let me love her. I want to be with her. I want to feel like a man for the rest of my life. I will ask to spend eternity within her flames.

So I will find her and I will save her.

I'm just returning the favor.

END.

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