-
Chapter 1: One step back
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, though I wish I did.
Lily opens her eyes again, still reeling from the reality of her memory. Or was that a dream? She didn▓t know; she still felt disconcerted from the horrible events of the Mr. Roscoe Pageant. She could still hear Parker▓s voice in her head┘■Surprise.■ There. The tears were coming back again. Wonderful. Damn him for doing this to her. He had been her best friend forever and he should have known that this would embarrass her. Embarrass her and woo her at the same time. She had been angry when he asked her out but she could still picture the soft brown eyes, staring hopefully into hers.
She sat on her bed, holding her old stuffed bear tightly. Stupid thing, she thought, looking down at the toy. I don▓t know why I didn▓t throw you away years ago. She settles back against her headboard, biting her lip hard so as to not start crying again. The bear had taken her mind a few years back. Her eyes began to flutter closed as memories flooded her mind.
⌠You sleep with a teddy bear?■ he asks, his tone mocking. ⌠Ha ha! Lily sleeps with her teddy bear!■ He turned to look at her, ⌠I bet you leave a night light on and suck your thumb too, don▓t you?■
Oh, how she hated him. Why was it that he was her best friend one minute and the next she was just another girl with cooties? She looks back at the boy and rolls her eyes, ⌠Yeah? Well, at least I don▓t still wet the bed,■ She held the stuffed toy up to the boy▓s face, ▒This is just something that I have to keep so that I don▓t hurt my mom▓s feelings. You wouldn▓t know about feelings would you? You▓re so dumb.■ She bit off the last few words and folded her arms, turning away from him as she refused to speak to him. Again.
⌠Aww, come on, Lil,■ he pouted. ⌠I was only joking. Jeez, you have to get mad at everything I say.■
Keeping her eyes averted she says, ⌠That▓s because everything you say pisses me off.■
He smiled then and looked at her in feigned surprise. ⌠If your mom heard you using such language,■ in a high pitched tone he added, ⌠Lily Randall, I▓m disappointed in you.■ He was trying to make her laugh; she wasn▓t going to let it work. She squeezes her arms more tightly around herself, as if doing so was instant protection and a perfect way to keep any unwanted laughter from escaping. She continues to ignore him.
Seeing that he had his work cut out for him, the boy decided to play dirty. He walks up behind her and sinks his fingers into her sides.
⌠Ray,■ she giggles, ⌠Stop that!■ She gets out as many words as possible between gasps for air. ⌠I▓m warning you!■ she screams.
Feeling satisfied, he pulls away, ⌠There, now don▓t you feel much better?■ She grits her teeth and punches him in the arm. ⌠Ow!■ he exclaims, ⌠Why are you always so violent?■ He rubs his arm, and then scratches his head as he tries to think of something fun to do on a hot, sunny day. ⌠Wanna go throw water balloons at people from the top of Mr. Draker▓s stairs?■ he asks, his brown eyes shining with happiness and hope.
⌠Sure,■ she smiles back, the entire fight now forgotten as they raced down the stairs and out the door, not heeding Mrs. Randall▓s warning to not run in the house.
Wham! The feel and the sound of her locker door slamming shut felt somewhat refreshing. Her it was, lunch time, and all she had heard from Ray was about all of the girls he would be going out with now. I tried to take it back, she thinks, does this mean punishment for Lily for the next month?
⌠Is everything alright?■ A smooth, deep voice said, startling her out of her constant replay of memories. She exhales a sigh of relief.
Travis. He would know how to cheer her up. She turns to him, flipping her hair off of her shoulders. ⌠Hey, nothing a good friend can▓t cure.■ She smiles
He half smiles, looking tentative but concerned. ⌠So, what gives?■
She shrugs, ⌠Honestly? Not much. I▓m just feeling a little┘overlooked lately.■
Travis▓ smile broadens as he pats her arm. ⌠I always have time for you, Lil.■ He says. ⌠In fact, I was coming to you for advice. I▓m writing Bridget another letter; it▓s a little new to express myself this way and I want your input. It would mean a lot to me.■
What was this? A conspiracy? If she heard about one more girl from either of her ⌠friends■, she would scream. Fighting a very strong urge to roll her eyes and trying to keep her disappointment out of her voice, she replied, ⌠Look, I▓ll help you on that later, okay? I▓m supposed to meet Parker right now.■
Travis, now beaming with his lap top in his hand, says, ⌠Great! I▓ll catch up with you later.■
She simply nods and turns away. ⌠Sure┘later,■ she mumbles as she walks off.
I forgot my jacket. This day is turning out better and better by the moment, she thinks bitterly.
Instead of finding Parker, or anyone for that matter, Lily opted to sit on one of the vacant benches outside. No one ate lunch outside at this time of year. It was too cold, and here she was without even a jacket to comfort her.
Comfort. That▓s what she needed and what she had expected from Travis. He had never failed to be there for her before. Looking up, she spies a lone, brittle leaf. A lone hold-out, in the face of winter, twisting in the cutting wind. Great, she thinks, just what I needed, a visual metaphor of my life.
She pulls her legs up and wraps her arms around her knees as she stares stubbornly at the cloudy, depressing sky. Her mind begins to drift again, just a little. Just enough to forget the here and now. She managed a small, sad smile as she thought what Travis would say about that.